Self-Improvement 2019
By Brett Kondratiew
A Crack In The Mirror
It’s that time again, when we make all those ridiculous new year’s resolutions. What is it about a new year that makes us want to change our ways? I guess it’s the clean slate theory. We act as if we can erase years of bad behavior with a couple promises made to the bathroom mirror. It should be no surprise that making goals to self improve, like losing weight, quitting smoking, or getting fit get broken faster than they are made!
Small Goals Bring Big Results
This most often occurs, because the change in lifestyle we want is dramatically different from the one we are living. A new and better way to actually achieve self-improvement in 2019 is to set small goals that are more generic and achievable, albeit with some effort. Instead of committing to lose fifty pounds by June it might make more sense to promise to forego that 650 calorie morning cappuccino and maybe add a 15 minute walk at noon. If you make no other changes in diet or exercise you will likely lose about 25 pounds by June. Amazing. Not 50 pounds but the smaller goals actually leads to improved health by building habits thru small actions. If you continue your new altered behaviors, you are only 6 months away from that dreamed of 50 pound weight loss. Yes, we can achieve self-improvement goals, by shrinking our expectations to match the reality of our lives.
Be Positive About Self
One of the biggest obstacles you will face regarding self-improvement is self perception. Avoid self-criticism; everyone makes mistakes so stop getting down on yourself! Stop beating yourself up. Embrace Thomas Edison’s quote “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”. The sooner we accept that we aren’t perfect, the quicker self-improvement can be achieved.
Stressful Life
Living in today’s world produces many stresses. Financial issues, finding a balance between life and work, depression and anxiety, social isolation are typical stresses that many of us face. Yet as difficult as these challenges are, many of us worry about things that have little relevance to, or importance beyond the moment, and in fact really shouldn’t matter at all.
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
From my reading, the secret to self-improvement, is stop trying to control the unimportant. Stop obsessing over a long shopping queue, a missed dental appointment, or the birthday card you forgot to mail. These are just part of life so take a deep breath, show a smile and move on! Sadly from a health point of view, we really need to ignore such minor irritations because the added stress can actually influence our health and our lifespan. The key here is to understand the difference between a reaction and an overreaction. Simply put, don’t sweat the small stuff.
Stop The Material Thoughts
If your goal in life is to accumulate material possessions, then stop now!. These behaviors promote materialism, selfishness, greed, and leaves little room for empathy, generosity and a caring heart. A great way to self improve as a person is to love people more, and things less.
Enjoy Your Down Time
One of the most overused phrases we hear, is “work to live, not live to work’. To be fair, many people love the combative nature that work can give. That setting and achieving work goals brings levels of satisfaction that can create a real adrenaline rush. However for most of us, working is simply a way to pay the bills and feed the family, and if offered a dollar more an hour we would move quickly toward the increased income. Therefore, wherever you head is about work, make sure you enjoy the weekends or any other downtime. Creating a balance between work and play puts our mental and physical state in a better balance. Self-improvement as a result, is far more achievable.
Take Mindful Action
In order to set a path for self-improvement, we need to organize some downtime. This relates to time management; an organised plan to become better as a person can be quite demanding and requires that you plan in “quality “ breaks for yourself. Doing this, makes that downtime seem special or earned! Don’t waste opportunities that allow you to re-energize and refocus.
Set Smart Achievable Goals
Self improvement does not happen overnight, but even baby steps can lead to big improvements. However don’t set goals that are unrealistic. David Allen, in his best-selling book “Getting Things Done” suggests the 2 minute rule to overcome procrastination. Set goals that only take 2 minutes to complete; for example rather than read that book, read a page. So simple and yet a great way to kill procrastination, which can be a roadblock for self-improvement. You’ve heard it a million times, don’t resolve to land on the moon, when you don’t have a rocket ship.
Time Management
As a writer, I love quotes or sayings. Simple ones like “common sense isn’t common” are gold in my opinion. However, on time management the one that says “why do today, that which you can put off ’til tomorrow” is embraced by so many people. I prefer, “procrastination is the thief of time”. Time management is a skill that is crucial. In order to make self-improvement, one needs to pursue achievable goals, without stress or guilt.
It’s An Ongoing Thing
A proven tactic to stay on track is to discuss your goals with your family and friends. Ask for their support. Implicate them in your improvement. Irrespective of their opinions, it does make one accountable. Accountability can cause a bit of angst but consider it “healthy”. Remember that self-improvement is an ongoing process that can often be 2 steps forward and one step back! However, short-term pain leads to long-term gain and that alone is a reason why everyone, irrespective of place, lifestyle or financial circumstances, can and should work toward self-improvement.
Conclusion
We now know that to change ingrained habits that are inhibiting self-improvement a few things need to happen. We need to cut frivolous stress (don’t sweat the small stuff), resolve to make small changes versus drastic ones, plan for quality “self” time, balance work and play, avoid self recrimination and procrastination, involve your family in your goals, and most of all be kind to yourself and others. Get going, self improvement is an ongoing process.
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/boundless/201812/making-new-years-resolutions-work-you
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/42-practical-ways-to-improve-yourself.html
