Let Go of Compulsive Goal Setting
Let Go of Compulsive Goal Setting. . . and be Happy
By D. S. Mitchell
Self Help
The other day, I was pawing through a box of books I had stored in the back of my closet and was trying to decide if they were something I should drop off at The Salvation Army or go to the trouble of pricing them to resell on Amazon. As I debated the question I came upon Stephen Shapiro’s 2006 self-help gem, “Goal Free Living: How To Have The Life You Want Now.” It has been at least a decade since I read the book, but as I flipped through the pages I remembered it distinctly, and thought it would be a great reminder to pass on to my readers to help them enjoy the closure of 2025. If you’re a compulsive goal setter, burdened by could of’s, should of’s, and would of’s now might be the the right time to put all that baggage aside and take a new look at how we prioritize living our lives.
First Person
Stephen Shapiro is the first person that I can remember that gave me permission to release the religion of goal making that permeates our culture, and try to live without the restrictions of a set of goals or rules for success. I have been told since I was a kid, that goals of all kinds, big, small, wildly ambitious were all within my reach. I just had to want that dream bad enough. The rule seemed to be, if you can visualize it, you can have it; if you don’t know what you want (can’t visualize it), you might as well be lost at sea without a life preserver.
Not So
Shapiro disputes this time worn American myth. In fact, Shapiro argues that if you want to be happy in its most broad interpretation, you need to throw that “five-year plan,” and the “life-time to do list,” into the garbage can. Originally Shapiro was a motivational researcher. While doing interviews with business leaders for a book he discovered that after interviewing 150 of the country’s most successful people and traveling over 12,ooo miles the most fulfilled people were also the most spontaneous, and believe it or not, the least goal oriented. What? How could that be true? It goes against everything I’ve ever been taught.
Taking a Detour
After interviewing those 150 successful people in all fields of enterprise, from all parts of the country, Shapiro discovered that most of the successful people had taken a circuitous route to their eventual success, and it seems that the circuitous trip was what made the result, all the more satisfying. Shapiro became convinced that the key to happiness comes from checking out the back roads and detours, both literally and figuratively, without fear of changing course. Shapiro is convinced that following goals may lead a person to financial wealth, but there is a good chance that if you follow the plan unquestioningly you will lose yourself and potential happiness.
