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It’s a Taxing Situation

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It’s a Taxing Situation

Once you get that tax return here are some ways to spend it wisely

It’s a Taxing Situation

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Death from Taxes?

I must admit that when it comes to taxes, I am inept. I squeaked through my college accounting 101 by the skin of my teeth. My husband is the math lover in our household, and he does our 1040. The closest I come to anything to do with mathematics is the fact my older sister is an accountant and a friend from belly dance class is a tax attorney.

Count on Bargains

Basic math, like checkbook balancing, figuring out sale discounts, or the size of a diamond – I am truly fabulous at this type of calculation endeavor. My spouse will attest that I am excellent at spending money, as well, but I do spend it wisely. I can sniff out an overcharge at the grocery store like a bloodhound that got a whiff of a juicy bone, and I love me a bargain. So allow me to share a baker’s dozen of my expertise on savvy ways to save some money when you are ready to spend your tax refund:

  1. Many restaurants and business establishments offer tax day or other deals and free birthday or anniversary treats, through email, texting, or in-store terminals. These are great but can still cost you money – that free dessert can end up costing you the price of a lunch or dinner that maybe wasn’t in your budget. Bear in mind these places are enticing you to come spend some cash.
  2. The “pink tax” is very real – those blue disposable razors may work just as well on legs and underarms.
  3. Do your homework before taking your car to the mechanic, ladies. You are less likely to be taken advantage of if you sound like Marissa Tomei’s character on the witness stand in “My Cousin Vinny”.
  4. Now, you know you are about to look for that film on streaming TV if you don’t know what I am talking about, so let’s move on to those get two weeks free streaming services. It’s nice to try these services, or merchandise subscriptions, but if you forget to cancel you can get an expensive surprise at the end of the free period.
  5. Online auctions are awesome but check shipping fees before bidding. That very deep discount on the item you are looking at might make up for the cheap price by inflating shipping and handling charges. (This can also be true on third-party serviced items through the big online retailers.) Politely ask the seller what is the best price shipping to your ZIP code.
  6. You get less for your money these days – even President Biden’s State of the Union speech mentioned the size of a Snickers bar and the volume inside a bag of potato chips shrinking in size, so watch unit pricing such as per ounce for the best value.
  7. You often get what you pay for, so look for quality that is timeless and long lasting when choosing wardrobes and accessories. In trendy apparel look, especially fads, look for less costly items, since they go out of fashion quickly.
  8. Loss leaders at the market or pharmacy are worth it, if you don’t go out of your way to make the purchase. Often these are limited to one per customer and not worth the extra gas spent to get to the store, unless you can take advantage of multiple deals and they are for items you need or at least really want.
  9. Drugstore cosmetics can often work as well as luxury brands, but if you want to try higher end skin care, begin by requesting samples or buying a trial size to get a read of how your body reacts to it. Avoid dollar store personal care items – most are made in China/PRC (People’s Republic of China), which means they are not thoroughly tested for hygienic safety standards or safe ingredients.
  10. Store brands can be a budget saver but check labels – some less costly groceries can contain preservatives, colors, or other artificial ingredients. Many use the GMO process of bioengineering.
  11. Don’t cut corners when it comes to your health and safety. It’s just not worth it in the long run.
  12. There is a trend toward lab-created gem stones. My personal opinion is a smaller, natural diamond with some inclusions is a better choice. Lab created means coal burning in China and India, an often unhealthy and unsafe practice.
  13. Be a wise consumer – use reliable resources to gain information before making a purchase.

Take the Credit

In closing, an accountant (shameless plug for my beautiful big sister), or tax attorney can help you to take all of your legal tax deductions, and get you the maximum refund. There are many tax credits for women, especially single moms, if your income is under a certain amount. There is the earned income tax credit, there is child or dependent care credit if you have a loved one in daycare, and if you have a child in college there is an education credit. If a single lady is taking a job related class, there is also a credit.

Taxing…Not!

Tax laws are complex for everyone, not just single ladies filing as head of a household, with or without children, so leaving your taxes to the experts can get you maximum legal refunds, giving you some extra cash that you can splurge just a bit on some of those spring sales.

Tips to Save Money at the Grocery Store

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Tips to Save Money at the Grocery Store

Saving money at the grocery store is getting harder and harder on the pocketbook Here are a few tips on how to a little bit here and there, hoping it ads up to something.

Tips to Save Money at the Grocery Store

By D. S. Mitchell

Editor: Here are a few tricks I found on the internet to help cut costs at the grocery store in these high cost times. I’m not sure about you, but the only time I really feel the pinch is at the supermarket. I’m good at the gas station, I don’t freak out at the cannabis store, I’m okay at the drive thru, but holy Zeus I about lose my mind at the grocery store.

Folks, the price of eggs at my local Walmart has hit stratospheric levels; while at my friendly neighborhood Safeway, the price of eggs has barely budged. So, I buy my eggs and fresh flowers at Safeway and my thick cut smoked bacon and my thin sliced rib eye steaks at Walmart. I also hit the dip and weigh barrels at Winco. I also regularly shop my local Growers Market where everything is always so fresh and flavorful. Enough. I promised some money saving tips at the grocery store, and here they are.:

Experts Tell Us

Experts tell us it all starts with the right sized cart. If you are doing a weeks shopping grab a full sized cart, however if you are not, grab a small cart. Statistics indicate the average shopper buys as much as 40% more when using the larger cart. However, don’t think one of those hand baskets is the answer, in fact, studies show shoppers tend to buy tempting sugary treats when they are carrying the handheld basket.

Wednesday is Best Day to Shop

I just got back from this weeks grocery run. To save money on groceries, I usually shop on Wednesdays. There are noticeably fewer shoppers, unless that Wednesday happens to fall on the first of the month, LOL. On Wednesdays you can usually count on fully-stocked shelves and freshly delivered produce. AND, the sale specials start in most stores on Wednesday. I shop on Wednesdays to beat the crowds and save a little money. ***Stay away from the grocery store on weekends, they’re busy and frequently sale items are out of stock or picked over.

Seasonal Delights

Eat locally grown produce whenever possible, it will give you the best value in price and flavor. Be sure to go to your local Farmer’s Market not just the big supermarkets. In March you’ll see good prices on broccoli, brussels  sprouts, cauliflower, and lettuce. In April look for asparagus, rhubarb and peas. Strawberries are usually cheaper in June than in May. Year round  bargains include celery, and potatoes.

Limit Trips

I shop for two, but I shop alone. Whenever my roommate comes along I spend a lot more money than when he does not.  Today I spent $133 and got most of what I wanted, I only forgot the toilet paper and the paper towels. If Dave had been along I have no doubt I would have spent well-over $200; and still would have forgotten the paper towels and TP. Furthermore, it’s a good time to mention, write a list, and stick to it. People who shop with a list spend less time in the store and make significantly fewer impulse buys. I use a paper list, I’m old. If you prefer, use your phone. There are some great apps that match items on your list with store specials, coupons, and rebates. As important as a list is; limiting your trips to the store is just as important. DO NOT make frequent trips to the grocery store because every time you do, you spend money you didn’t need to spend, in addition to the gas to get there and back, and the energy you expended on that trip you could have used to plant those spring primroses.

Costco Sharing

My daughter and I shop together at Costco every couple of months and then divide up our purchases in their parking lot. The advice here is to also watch the sales at the regular stores because they are often better than you might get at the warehouse stores.

Cut the Candy, Chips and Sodas

Government statistics tell us that the average American family spends 25% of their grocery dollars on “processed foods, sweets, and sodas.” Try to cut back on such unhealthy choices; instead of getting chips-go for some crunchy carrots and celery. I know. I know. Such foods are great, they just need a little prep. So I suggest you do it as soon as you have the rest of the groceries put away. A few minutes scraping and slicing will provide a crunchy healthy snack versus a cheezy Dorito heartattack. Nothing is easy; but such small behavior changes are guaranteed to save you big dollars over a year, and you’ll probably lose some weight and lower your cholesterol.

End Cap Displays

Don’t fall for those big beautiful end cap displays. Those are usually not sale items; they are intended to trigger your impulse buying gene.

Store Brands vs National Brands

In most cases name brand and store brands taste the same, and can save you anywhere from 15% to 30%. In fact, the store named products are often made at the same time and place as national brands, the only difference the private label.

Unit Pricing

Small packages are usually the worst deals. But the biggest size doesn’t guarantee the best deal. What is important here is for the consumer to check for the unit price below the item on the shelf, it will give you the price per ounce or liter or other measurement so you can quickly compare prices in a logical way.

Holiday Hoarding

Some of the best meat and poultry prices can be found around the holidays. Stock up.

Group Bennies

If you are a vet, or a senior, be sure to ask if the store offers extra savings for your particular groups. Don’t hesitate to ask if they stack benefits; meaning can you maximize your savings by using your AARP card and your VA card. Once in awhile a company is allowed to stack discounts which gives a big discount.  Sometimes the discounts are limited to specific days of the month, rather than everyday. But, be sure to ask, and make note of it and try to shop on those days.

Misfits and Oddities

Some stores advertise great prices on produce known as oddballs and oddities. The price you pay for that oddly shaped zucchini may be 30% cheaper than it’s more perfect cousin. Also, by purchasing these imperfect fruits and veggies we can cut down on food waste.

Buying Gas at a Discount

Gas back programs are offered in my area at Safeway and Fred Meyers. The retailer discounts are based on customer shopping habits. A regular customer may save anywhere from 10 cents to $1.50 per gallon at the store’s gas station.

Buying Staples 

Shopping for staples is a weekly process, not a once a year event. I always, always, make sure I have fresh fruit, particularly bananas, honey crisp or Fuji apples, and various fresh berries. Things that are snack friendly, from the hand to the mouth made easy. Then I must have a bag of frozen mixed berries, for spontaneous smoothies. Veggies like kale, romaine, spinach, arugula are standards in my cart, perfect for a late afternoon salad. I always make sure I have onions, potatoes, carrots, and cauliflower on hand. Lemons are another essential for me. I squeeze them in my water, tea, and even over my salads. Also fabulous on chicken, and fish. Cheese is another staple at my house. I always have parmesan and cheddar cheese in the fridge. And I always make sure I have sliced cheese for a quick sandwich. Still in the dairy section I grab a couple pounds of butter and a gallon of whole milk (for morning coffee). I don’t do almond milk or cashew milk or any other non-dairy milk substitute, that’s just me. I’m not sure if you consider Greek yogurt a kitchen staple but I do. I watch for sales. In the meat department I watch for sales on hamburger, boneless chicken breasts, beef steaks, and pork. I try to keep a bag of frozen shrimp on hand, great for salads and pasta. Speaking of pasta I always watch for specials on my favorite pasta sauce. Spaghetti is a life saver for surprise guests.

More Staples

I barely slow down in the cereal department, but I do buy Old fashioned oats and steel cut oats – I never buy instant since you get more nutritional and heart benefits in old-fashioned and steel cut oats. I make sure I always have a box of pasta on hand and a bag of brown rice. And nuts. I use nuts in a lot of my recipes. Not only do they taste great, but they have a lot of healthy fats and omega-3 fatty acids. Almonds, walnuts, and pecans are my standby favs. I love Beans – black bean burgers, vegetarian chili, topping a salad with them, pureeing into hummus or just heating them and eating them with a spoon. I usually buy them in the 1-2 pound dry packages and cook them up in the crock pot. I always have several cans of diced and whole tomatoes. I use them in nearly everything. I can’t live without eggs or olive oil. Here again keep your eye open for special prices on these basic food items. Bread is not on my grocery list. I stopped eating bread about 10 years ago, and have never looked back. Although I have a pantry full of spices, I make sure I always have the ones I use most on hand, cinnamon, vanilla, cumin, oregano, nutmeg, ginger, black pepper, and sea salt. Lastly, I am always on the alert for big discounts on baking items like flour, white sugar, and brown. My family loves it when I make cookies.

Finally

The Natural Resources Defense Council reports that the average American throws away at least $2,500 worth of food annually. That is about 1/4 of what we spend on food! Time to cut down on waste. One of the ways to do that is to plan your meals for the week and buy according to what you have decided to make. It is important at the beginning of your shopping week to make an assessment of what you already have and what needs to be eaten quickly. Then buy any remaining ingredients to make up those items into eatable meals. After you have cleared your kitchen of items that were about to perish finish out your weeks menu with family favorites and good for you treats. “Waste not, want not,” as my mother used to say.

Believe It or Not, There’s a Word for That!

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Believe It or Not, There’s a Word for That!

It is amazing what tid bits of information can be found in a pile of old magazines

Believe It or Not, There’s a Word for That!

By D.S. Mitchell

Basement Cabinets

I was cleaning out an old cabinet that had been relegated to a darkened corner of my basement when I uncovered a treasure trove of nearly 500 fossilized Reader’s Digest, Vogue, Glamour, O, Style, and AARP, magazines. Yes! What a glorious way to spend a rainy Thursday, scrounging through  dusty boxes of outdated magazines,  I laughed. I gauged how long it would take me to flip through every page of this unanticipated bonanza and figured I could do it in a single day, if I devoted myself to the task fulltime. Obviously, I’ll need pee and refueling breaks.

Pretty Packaging

Why would I be so interested in old magazines, you ask. First of all, I love touching that slick paper that they used to make magazines out of. Second, I love the fact there is this encyclopedia of near useless information, wrapped up in astoundingly pretty packaging. Just Awesome! Anyway, my ulterior motive was to find a few interesting filler topics for my calamitypolitics.com website. I found a motherlode. The first one I decided to share with my readers came from Reader’s Digest, the September 2017 issue (there was no writer credit given in the magazine). A great piece on “whatta’ ya call this?”  In alphabetical order,

  • aglet (aiglet): an aglet or aiglet is a small sheath, often made of plastic or metal, attached at each end of a shoelace, a cord, or a drawstring. An aglet keeps the fibers of the lace or cord from unraveling; its firmness and narrow profile make it easier to hold and easier to feed through eyelets, lugs, or other lacing guides
  • ferrule: the circular metal part holding the eraser to a pencil
  • glabella: the area of skin between the eyebrows and above the nose. The term also refers to the underlying bone that is slightly depressed, and joins the two brow ridges
  • lunule: the white or wedge-shaped part of the fingernail
  • peen: the round or wedge-shaped end of a hammer-i.e., the part that doesn’t hit the nail
  • petrichor: the way it smells when rain falls on parched earth
  • philtrum: the vertical groove between the base of the nose and the border of the upper lip.
  • phosphene: the light you see when you close your eyes and press your fingers to them
  • punt: the indention in the bottom of a wine bottle, a punt is also a wooden boat with no keel, stem, or sternpost, and is constructed like a ladder, and it’s even a football kick
  • rasceta: the lines and wrinkling on the inner surface of the wrist
  • souffle cup: a paper of plastic cup for ketchup, mustard, and other condiments
  • Snellen test: the test during an eye exam involving reading from large to smaller letters
  • tittle: a small written or printed stroke; the dot over a lower case i or j
  • wamble: a weaving or rolling motion, stomach rumbling

That was fun. Did you learn anything? Of the fifteen listed I knew only one.

Diagnosis: Diabetes

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Diagnosis: Diabetes

A diagnosis of diabetes can be a scary thing, but with life-style changes the condition can be improved, or even reversed. Patients do not need to face years of fear, guilt, and drugs.

Diabetes is a scary diagnosis. Make some life style changes and change the prognosis.

Diagnosis: Diabetes

By D.S. Mitchell

A Public Health Emergency

One in ten Americans is living with Type 2 diabetes; that’s approximately 38 millions people. Some might call that a public health emergency. With diabetes comes other life altering diseases; cardio-vascular disease, kidney failure (dialysis), stroke, neuropathy, blindness, and lower limb amputation.

Medical Treatment

Many diagnosed diabetics are on high doses of injectable insulin and multiple oral anti-diabetic medications. Insulin is a hormone that transports sugar out of the blood and into the body’s cells. With diabetes the body can’t manufacture the hormone (Type 1-sometimes called childhood diabetes) or the more common Type 2 diabetes, where the body becomes resistant to insulin’s effects. In both cases, insulin injections are the standard fallback treatment.

Change Your Tactics

It doesn’t have to be this way. Instead of accepting the “inevitable” some patients decide to implement strategic behavioral tactics that have shown to improve the condition and even reverse it. Said more simply, if you’ve been diagnosed with diabetes, you can turn it around. What follows are seven behaviors that can make a difference in your life and your battle with diabetes.

  1. Lose Weight: Do not under estimate the impact of gaining, (or losing), even a few pounds. The physiology of diabetes causes the body to ineffectively regulate blood sugar levels because at the heart of diabetes is “insulin resistance.” With insulin resistance the pancreas is forced to manufacture more and more insulin in an effort to transport sugar from the blood to the cells. What is often misunderstood is that insulin whether manufactured in the body or taken as a medication promotes fat storage and weight gain. It becomes a vicious circle, gain a few pounds and the weight gain will force the body to produce more insulin which in turn causes more weight gain-and so it goes. The good news, however, is that even a 10% weight loss can improve insulin sensitivity by 60%.
  2. Keep Up Your Fluid Intake: Hydration is a pretty big deal, don’t ignore it. With dehydration comes a concentration of sugar in the blood.  Studies show that patients who drink less than a half liter of water per day increased their risk of elevated blood sugar compared with those who drank more. Water, milk, herbal tea all work. Caution for coffee lovers; caffeine is dehydrating, limit the intake to a maximum of three cups per day.
  3. Stay Vaccinated: Many believe that COVID is behind us. Well, for folks with immune suppression, over the age of sixty, obesity, and diabetes the threat remains serious. In fact, studies indicate that COVID damages the pancreas and causes system wide inflammation, which in turn increases insulin resistance. New studies link COVID to new cases of diabetes. If you are in one of the high risk groups get vaccinated and stay boosted. Vaccinations lead to milder cases of the disease which should indirectly result in decreased COVID impact on pre-existing diabetics.
  4. Increase Protein Intake: Protein at every meal, not just dinner. Protein maintains muscle and contributes to blood sugar regulation. Fill your plate with fish, white meat chicken, lean cuts of beef and plant based protein sources such as beans, nuts, quinoa.
  5. Bite-sized Bits of Activity: “Exercise snacking” means spreading short bursts of activity throughout the day. A fifteen minute walk, two or three times per day, may do more to help control blood sugar than one long workout. Remember the 10,000 steps recommendation? In that study there was a link between exercise and improved diabetes control. The goal is to mix various types of exercise. Schedule exercise periods for yourself each day. You might start the day with a fifteen minutes block of strength training, using weights, resistance bands and body-weight moves. Mid-morning do fifteen minutes of aerobic activity such as fast walking, swimming, jogging, or tennis. After lunch try fifteen minutes of stretching which improves joint flexibility, balance, and reduces chances of injury.
  6. Read Labels: Do not focus on sugars, but rather read labels for the “Total Carbohydrate.” This term incorporates both naturally occurring sugars and those added. Women should aim for 30-45 grams of total carbs per meal, and men 60 to 75. A typical reaction after hearing a diabetes diagnosis is to eliminate sugar and carbs. Such behavior can result in nutritional deficiencies, fatigue, and dangerously low blood sugars. Consider talking to a Registered Dietitian and setting up a realistic eating plan. Many insurance plans pay for such training. Ignorance is not helpful, your quality of life depends on understanding how you can best help yourself.
  7. Finally: Losing weight, changing eating patterns, and exercising, are things that a newly diagnosed diabetic, or a long time diagnosed diabetic can do to reverse the disease. However, even with all those interventions, there may still be times when insulin and other diabetic medications have a role to play. Pregnancy is such a situation. Pregnancy frequently elevates the expectant mom’s typical blood sugars, just proving insulin has a secure place in the treatment of diabetes.

 

Black History Month May Be Over, But Black History Never Is . . .

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Black History Month May Be Over, But Black History Never Is…

Black History Month celebrates the contribution of black citizens to world culture

Black History Month May Be Over, But Black History Never Is…

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

A Dark Past and Present

We celebrate Black History, annually each February. During the month we reflect, appreciate, and acknowledge people of color and their rich history. In 2023 the Black History theme was “Black Resistance,” focusing on the struggle African Americans have endured, both in the past and continuing today. Oppression, injustice, repression, racism, exploitation, suppression, maltreatment, and disadvantage are still shockingly present in today’s society. White privilege is regretfully, appallingly alive within the ultra-conservative community. We may have moved passed black performers using different hotels, restaurants, and restrooms during artistic tours but a startling number of atrocities still continue to occur.

Art for Artists Sake

The 2024 Black History Month theme was “African Americans and the Arts. This year’s theme was a different vibe than previous years but the message was equally important – we need to value the arts and encourage these great artists to thrive. The focus this year has been the celebration of the incredible black artists that have enriched our lives over the years through classic performances on the stage, screen, radio, television, music and concert. Dramatic and creative professionals in the spotlight and the many more working hard behind the scenes compose the vast number of Black artists we salute. We make every effort to not just celebrate those in the mainstream of culture but the large number of less well known but equally talented individuals that comprise this community. Black History month may be coming to a close for another year but African history in the arts lives on.

Black Makes Beauty

2024 was also the 18th year of the UNI African American Read-In. The Read-In was once again a significant part of  Black History Month activities. To broaden participation many activities occurred on line for students. Theaters, schools, and libraries across the country held special events to honor Black artists and artisans during the month by reading aloud of many of the great books, plays, and poems of black artists.

Life Ain’t Over Yet

Celebration of Black history should be 365 days a year, not just one month. Respect and equality, not just in the arts but in all areas of life. Housing discrimination still exists,  mortgage and rental applications being denied disproportionately, and higher interest rates in African American communities, as do food deserts, with grocery stores that offer fresh, healthy choices avoiding opening or continuing operations in communities of color.

Dreamers

Activists such Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr. and John Lewis fought decades ago for civil rights that are still being denied today. Black pioneers in the arts, such as Nina Simone (whose birthday is appropriately February 21st ), Maurice White, Josephine Baker, and Mahalia Jackson (to name just a few) were very instrumental in paving the way for future artists to be treated with dignity. As Dr. King said in his “I Have a Dream” speech, “With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”  And Mahalia Jackson sang, “If I can help somebody, as I travel along; if I can help somebody, with a word or song…” – she broke significant ground for the African-American musicians who followed.

Labor On

2025’s Black History Month theme, will be “African Americans and Labor,” celebrating, recognizing, and highlighting the very compelling impact of Black workers on American society.  We need to draw attention to their productivity with the broadest outlook, providing versatility and intuitiveness, a vision of Black culture throughout the ages.

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

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2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

Cate has been going through her list of resolutions for 2024. Enjoy the fun.

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

By Cate Rees-Hessel 

Editor: At the beginning of each year many of us examine our lives and in many cases decide we need to make some changes; thus the New Year’s Resolution List.  So with that said, here are Cate’s 2024’s worst New Year’s Resolutions.  

  1. Resolving AGAIN to lose weight – this is the most common resolution. It lasts until maybe mid-January most of the time. I no longer bother to resolve to do this, I just resolve to eat healthy, stay hydrated, and exercise.
  2. Resolving to join a gym but never visiting there – canceling can be a major hassle.
  3. Resolving to get a permanent eyeliner and lip liner tattoo. Nope. I’ve resolved to get up ten minutes earlier in the morning to line my eyes and  sometimes I  even skip the lip liner.
  4. Resolving to get plastic surgery or Botox in order to appear younger. I instead will embrace the beauty of aging.
  5. Resolving to clean out your closets, ridding yourself of any and all junk. A good idea but overwhelming if you decide to do it all at once – try doing it in smaller sections.
  6. Resolving to never, ever, ever again, drink, soda, alcohol, or expensive coffee beverages. Let’s face it, not going to happen – just remember moderation is the key here.
  7. Resolving to only drink diet soda. Are you aware of the chemicals in those?
  8. Resolving to play the lottery. Don’t gamble on this one – just start a savings account instead.
  9. Resolving to give your boss a piece of your mind – this is the same as resolving to join the unemployment line.
  10. Resolving to be adventurous. Skinny dipping in winter, bungee jumping over a frozen lake, twerking in public – this is called stupidity.
  11. Resolving to accept as many blind dates as you can – this is also called stupidity.
  12. Resolving to drunk text your ex on New Year’s Eve or maybe Valentine’s Day – this is called beyond stupidity.
  13. Resolving to stop reading the labels at the grocery store. Since the majority of boxed, canned, frozen, and even alleged fresh foods are GMO these days, this is not a wise resolution. Preservatives, artificial colors, and the like don’t make for a happy New Year, either.
  14. Resolving to start jogging 5 miles a day. No, just no – start slow and stay safe. Maybe a walk around the block today and two blocks tomorrow.
  15. Resolving to skip COVID vaccine boosters. You will have plenty of time to read the books you are resolving to read while you’re in quarantine, presuming you are not in a hospital on a ventilator. Whatever you do, don’t binge watch the last six seasons of the “The Apprentice” – you are already sick.
  16. Resolving to dance like nobody is watching in front of a window – no, nope, not good-somebody is always watching.
  17. Resolving to give that creepy date a second chance; after all Valentine’s Day comes shortly after New Year’s. I think not – this won’t end well; creeps just get creepier.
  18. Resolving to conquer your fear of heights by taking flying lessons or trying a zip line. My fear is that this too will not end well.
  19. Resolving to invest half of your paycheck in cryptocurrency. You may want to rethink this one, because the last I heard all those hot cryptocurrency guru’s are serving 99 to life.
  20. Resolving to take pickleball lessons, learning to play the tuba, or enrolling in a circus arts course at the community college- think these over before you shell out any money. I think you’d be alright with the pickleball classes, but I’d definitely forget the tuba training and the high wire act.
  21. Resolving to be a do it yourself plumber – once again, this can’t end well.
  22. Resolving to vote Republican. Don’t go there – ever… No, not ever.
  23. Resolving to buy a boxed set of “The Apprentice” on clearance at Walmart and binge watch it. First of all, why would anyone do such a thing and secondly, why are all those lousy old videos still around? Because they’re lousy of course.
  24. Resolving to never again attend a multi-tiered market party no matter the hype, to find out why, see below.

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Festive Food For Thought

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Festive Food for Thought

Pumpkins spice and peppermint sticks every where you look.

Festive Food for Thought

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

Food for Thought

I hope everyone is having a joyous holiday season, shopping and preparing your favorite foods. Unlike many people, I enjoy grocery shopping; during a recent trip to the market I discovered some unusual edibles for the festive table. Imagine, if you can; unicorn pudding, Oreo and Warhead candy canes, sweet cinnamon Kit-Kats, white peppermint Twinkies, “Wintermint DingDongs” with ice blue filling, a reindeer-faced slice and bake cookie set complete with antlers and a red nose. There was a whole clearance aisle full of all things pumpkin spice, and a large selection of goods inspired by the movie “Frozen” – to this I say “Let It Go”…

Bake Someone Happy…

I admit it, I’m ready to bring back the Christmas’s of my childhood. Let ‘s bring back Christmas cookies made from scratch, and Jiffy Pop for our Christmas special viewing party snacks. We actually had to wait for our favorite programs like “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, “Frosty the Snowman”, and “Rodgers and Hammerstein ‘s Cinderella”. These were actual classic TV shows, not a DVD in a player, or streaming any time I wanted to see it. These were a big deal. The networks advertised them for a month before the holiday. We’d invite friends over to watch these timeless holiday shows, because they were only shown once a year. I am a Hallmark movie kind of girl, but I miss the anticipation of those annual events.

Mmmmm, no…

We baked cupcakes, and set out a bowl of M & M ‘s – not jalapeno, thai coconut, coffee, hazelnut, caramel, crispy honeycomb, English toffee, chocolate marshmallow, white chocolate peppermint, white pumpkin pie, milk chocolate glow-in-the-dark, or even mint – we had plain and peanut, still my favorites. Hot chocolate was made with cow’s milk and the flavor was chocolate, with maybe a few marshmallows thrown in, and a dollop of Ready-Whip. There was no pumpkin spice, or peppermint anywhere is sight.

Snow Joke

We didn’t ask the musical question, “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” We just went out and built one, complete with carrot nose, lumps of coal for the eyes, and a tattered plaid scarf. Even the holiday commercials on television were festive; my favorite was always the Norelco shaver gliding over the white hills like a snowmobile, with the catch phrase, “even our name says Merry Christmas”.

“Pop”-ular Games

The toys under our trees both delighted and educated – I was the Julia Child of lightbulb cuisine; our “notebook/tablet” was an Etch-A-Sketch – stairways up, stairways down, and stacked boxes. We had Lite-Brites, Barrels of Monkeys, Spirographs, Bride Barbies, Tiddlywinks, and the game Trouble with the Pop-O-Matic – we thought that was cutting edge technology. Some of my favorites were Suzy Cute in her yellow plastic crib, Chatty Cathy, the Dawn doll’ s beauty pageant and beauty salon, Mrs. Beasley, and of course, I had a Swingy doll (mine was decked out in pink and orange) – (batteries not included).

Don’t Sweat(er) It…

Life was slower-paced, and we made our own fun and beautiful memories; we didn’t feature “ugly” Christmas sweaters, but wore green velvet dresses with red ribbons in our hair and shiny black Mary Janes on our feet. Christmas balls went on the tree, not on our apparel, and the coffee table candy dish was filled with ribbon hard candies. I wish you and all those you love a holiday season to remember; Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and may your New Year arrive in style…

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

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Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

While I love classy, my husband is attached to tacky.

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

New Family Traditions

I like classic, classy things; my husband, on the other hand adores the tacky. Currently, he  is in a decorating frenzy, and that scares me. As we prepare to celebrate, who can forget decorations? I sometimes wish my other half would. Don’t get me wrong, I love a tasteful wreath on the door and a holly berry candle on the mantle, and this year, thanks to my recent DNA test, we will be including a menorah along with the family creche, however, my other half is not quite a Clinton Kelly when it comes to holiday embellishment.

Another Holiday Move

I look up from a Hallmark Christmas movie, and to my horror I see my spouse, attired in a Chicago Cubs Santa hat and a flashing Christmas tree tie, hanging jingle bells on the bathroom doorknob. Apparently, there are no safe places from his holiday mania. I cautiously enter the powder room, which has been transformed into a winter wonderland, as in I wonder what the heck happened to my bathroom.

Hang Up the Mistletoe…

Gone are the lovely blue lace-edged fingertip towels and the matching ceramic soap pump. Replacing these tasteful items are Hallmark’s Jolly in the John – really? My husband loves this little guy as much as he loves his Mini – and joining good ol’ Jolly is his pet reindeer, another Hallmark creation, with a roll of toilet paper decorating one of his antlers. Rounding out the tacky trio is Mr. John’s “other half”, a plastic snowwoman soap pump.

And the Toilet Seat

A purple garland adorns the shower curtain rod, and the shell toilet seat is now covered with a giant Santa face, gloved hands covering his eyes (do you blame him?). My attractive celery green with chocolate brown polka-dots bathrobe has been replaced with a latch hook creation of eight tiny reindeer, a rather unfortunate garage sale find. I turn to flee this holiday horror to find my other half nailing mistletoe above the necessary room door.

Merry Migraine!

I resume watching the previously interrupted holiday-inspired film, I take a fortifying sip of my mocha latte as my husband makes his way to the kitchen with a devilish glint in his eye, our jingle bell collared puggle Sasha in tow. My better (?) half is carrying a pair of Rudolph pot holders and a Grinch tea towel. What desecration could he be up to? Visions of plastic glitter sugar plums strung on the stove dance in my head, threatening a migraine. Did I just see our cat Prada wearing kitty-sized elf ears? Over the years my husband has acquired a plethora of kitschy Christmas items, right down to, cover your eyes, glow in the dark snowman boxer shorts, which he actually wears to bed. Does murdering a spouse still rate a life sentence?

Jolly in the John

As I said, one of his favorite pieces of seasonal décor is Hallmark’s “Jolly in the John”; normally I’m a Hallmark kind of girl: love the movies, cards, and ornaments, but I have yet to make friends with good ol’ “Jolly”. A plastic snowman holding a plunger who sings the potty song “Who’s Gotta’ Go”, and informs bathroom visitors they “look a little flush”; in my opinion, he’s gotta’ go. My spouse proudly places him atop the toilet tank, accompanied by his “snowwife”, a plastic lotion dispenser in the shape of a snowwoman, and their beloved pet, another Hallmark creation, a reindeer adorned with a roll of toilet paper on one antler. This “charming” trio has replaced my tasteful glass vase, containing vintage gold and silver Christmas balls.

A Special (Dis)appearance

Ironically, strange things have befallen Jolly – he keeps coming up missing, and stranger still, it only occurs when my hubby isn’t home. I have no idea how Jolly ended up in the bushes-apparently he must have fallen out of the window. I didn’t realize our dog could throw up the sash; lucky for us, our neighbor found him and brought him to our door. My other half then found him in the trash can-I have no idea how he got there, either. He was lovingly washed down and put back and in his place of honor, behind the throne.

Pack It In

Most recently, Jolly turned up at the local thrift store, buried in a box of old clothes I had donated. Lucky for us, that same helpful neighbor volunteers at the resale shop. My husband happened to be in there seeking out more tacky, I mean whimsical, holiday decorations, so the snowman has returned home. I guess I just have to accept that good ol’ Jolly is my husband’s way of decorating. We have certainly decked the halls with a unique bevy of holiday décor, but always in the theme of “peace on earth and goodwill toward men”; yes, Virginia, I married a man with style…

 

Christmas Short Story

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SNATCHING SANTA

The age old battle of good vs evil played out at Christmas

SNATCHING SANTA

Editor’s Note: I wrote this short story a couple years ago and have reprinted it on my website every year since. If you haven’t read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you have read it; read it a again. Happy Holidays.

By D. S. Mitchell

It was a small noise that woke Santa. Something out of place in the middle of the night. He lay in the dark, wondering if he’d imagined, or possibly dreamt the sound. Mary Claus slept by his side, her steady breathing the only sound in their darkened bedroom.

“There it was again,” he said under his breath.

This time it seemed to be at the back of the house. It was the sound of feet on gravel, a noise that wouldn’t be noticed during daylight hours, but seemed magnified by the darkness. It was close to 3:00 am. He worried that a sneak thief might be trying to break into his toy shop.

The suddenness of the event shocked him. The front and back door were simultaneously kicked in, and several men rushed through the battered doors into the house. The sound of polished boots on hardwood floors echoed down the halls. Mrs. Claus gasped as they both sat upright. Santa started to get out of bed, but the light came on before his foot hit the floor.

Two men armed with automatic weapons stood in the doorway, blocking any possible escape. The taller of the two men took in the room in a glance before lowering his eyes to the bed. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his weapon directly at Santa.

“What do you want?” Santa demanded.

“Shut up,” was his answer.

The weapon remained on its target and the tall man warmed the trigger with an agitated finger before saying, “Get dressed old man, you’re coming with us.”

Santa could see the shadows of several men moving about the house, the intruders opening closets, drawers, and doors. Mrs. Claus screamed. Santa hushed her with a hug and whispered reassurances.

“I said get your ass out of bed, Chubby.”

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Honoring Giving Tuesday

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50 Ways to Give on Giving Tuesday

Giving Tuesdays

Giving Tuesday

By Anna Hessel with Wes Hessel

 

It’s Giving Tuesday – time to donate funds to organizations that we support, but also find ways of giving of ourselves and our time. Here are some unique ideas for ways to give back to the community:

  1. Take a plate of food, cookies, or a card to an elderly or disabled neighbor
  2. Drop some magazines or books at a local hospital for their waiting areas
  3. Offer to babysit so someone can holiday shop or run errands
  4. Watch the person a caregiver takes care of so they can get out for errands or have a little me time
  5. Drop a few dollars or spare change in a red kettle
  6. Call a friend or relative just to say hello
  7. Rake someone’s leaves
  8. Mow someone’s lawn
  9. Shovel someone’s drive or walkway
  10. Make some calls for your favorite political candidate(s)
  11. Start a postcard campaign for your favorite political organization
  12. Begin a petition to right a wrong
  13. Run for a local political office
  14. Mail cards to our service men and women
  15. Volunteer at a local animal shelter or your library
  16. Don’t forget Toys for Tots with a new unwrapped toy – every child deserves a toy for Christmas or Hanukkah
  17. Offer a ride to a neighbor that does not have access to a car or can’t drive
  18. Decorate an outdoor tree for Christmas
  19. Add some sparkle to someone’s day with a small gift just because
  20. Organize a sled race or set up a hot chocolate stand for charity
  21. Run an errand for someone
  22. Pay it forward in the drive-through (or inside line)
  23. Pull a child in a sled or throw a ball for them to catch
  24. Build a snowman with someone
  25. Use your expertise, be it professional or hobby, to benefit someone: a free haircut, manicure, house cleaning, legal advice
  26. Pass out free hug coupons, cookies, or homemade fudge in your office or neighborhood
  27. Freecycle or Trash Nothing something
  28. Foster or adopt a rescue animal
  29. Play fetch with a neighbor’s dog or catch with a neighbor kid
  30. Set up a feral cat box on your porch with hay, fresh water, and a small bowl of food
  31. Make homemade cards or tree ornaments to pass out
  32. Take an angel off the giving tree and buy a gift to brighten someone’s holiday
  33. Give someone a smile – it’s always free, and it might just make their day
  34. Make a nice lunch or dinner to surprise somebody
  35. Donate to a good pantry or little library
  36. Make time for loved ones, like coffee or a spa day together
  37. Take time for yourself because you can’t help anyone if you aren’t well yourself
  38. Post something cute on social media to brighten someone’s day
  39. Order a meal delivery for a friend as a surprise (just make sure someone is there to accept the delivery)
  40. Tip generously
  41. Help a neighbor decorate for the holidays
  42. Offer to do someone’s shopping, laundry, house cleaning, or cooking
  43. Drop flowers off at a retirement community or hospital
  44. Donate pet food to an animal shelter – they can use older towels and blankets, too
  45. Send thank you notes to first responders or government employees
  46. Volunteer as a court advocate
  47. Share someone’s good work on social media
  48. Take a minute to talk to a business’ manger or owner to complement an employee
  49. Make time to really listen to someone who needs a shoulder to cry on
  50. Be sure to thank those selfless community volunteers whenever you can