Category: Holidays

Festive Food For Thought

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Festive Food for Thought

Pumpkins spice and peppermint sticks every where you look.

Festive Food for Thought

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

Food for Thought

I hope everyone is having a joyous holiday season, shopping and preparing your favorite foods. Unlike many people, I enjoy grocery shopping; during a recent trip to the market I discovered some unusual edibles for the festive table. Imagine, if you can; unicorn pudding, Oreo and Warhead candy canes, sweet cinnamon Kit-Kats, white peppermint Twinkies, “Wintermint DingDongs” with ice blue filling, a reindeer-faced slice and bake cookie set complete with antlers and a red nose. There was a whole clearance aisle full of all things pumpkin spice, and a large selection of goods inspired by the movie “Frozen” – to this I say “Let It Go”…

Bake Someone Happy…

I admit it, I’m ready to bring back the Christmas’s of my childhood. Let ‘s bring back Christmas cookies made from scratch, and Jiffy Pop for our Christmas special viewing party snacks. We actually had to wait for our favorite programs like “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, “Frosty the Snowman”, and “Rodgers and Hammerstein ‘s Cinderella”. These were actual classic TV shows, not a DVD in a player, or streaming any time I wanted to see it. These were a big deal. The networks advertised them for a month before the holiday. We’d invite friends over to watch these timeless holiday shows, because they were only shown once a year. I am a Hallmark movie kind of girl, but I miss the anticipation of those annual events.

Mmmmm, no…

We baked cupcakes, and set out a bowl of M & M ‘s – not jalapeno, thai coconut, coffee, hazelnut, caramel, crispy honeycomb, English toffee, chocolate marshmallow, white chocolate peppermint, white pumpkin pie, milk chocolate glow-in-the-dark, or even mint – we had plain and peanut, still my favorites. Hot chocolate was made with cow’s milk and the flavor was chocolate, with maybe a few marshmallows thrown in, and a dollop of Ready-Whip. There was no pumpkin spice, or peppermint anywhere is sight.

Snow Joke

We didn’t ask the musical question, “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” We just went out and built one, complete with carrot nose, lumps of coal for the eyes, and a tattered plaid scarf. Even the holiday commercials on television were festive; my favorite was always the Norelco shaver gliding over the white hills like a snowmobile, with the catch phrase, “even our name says Merry Christmas”.

“Pop”-ular Games

The toys under our trees both delighted and educated – I was the Julia Child of lightbulb cuisine; our “notebook/tablet” was an Etch-A-Sketch – stairways up, stairways down, and stacked boxes. We had Lite-Brites, Barrels of Monkeys, Spirographs, Bride Barbies, Tiddlywinks, and the game Trouble with the Pop-O-Matic – we thought that was cutting edge technology. Some of my favorites were Suzy Cute in her yellow plastic crib, Chatty Cathy, the Dawn doll’ s beauty pageant and beauty salon, Mrs. Beasley, and of course, I had a Swingy doll (mine was decked out in pink and orange) – (batteries not included).

Don’t Sweat(er) It…

Life was slower-paced, and we made our own fun and beautiful memories; we didn’t feature “ugly” Christmas sweaters, but wore green velvet dresses with red ribbons in our hair and shiny black Mary Janes on our feet. Christmas balls went on the tree, not on our apparel, and the coffee table candy dish was filled with ribbon hard candies. I wish you and all those you love a holiday season to remember; Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and may your New Year arrive in style…

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

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Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

While I love classy, my husband is attached to tacky.

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

New Family Traditions

I like classic, classy things; my husband, on the other hand adores the tacky. Currently, he  is in a decorating frenzy, and that scares me. As we prepare to celebrate, who can forget decorations? I sometimes wish my other half would. Don’t get me wrong, I love a tasteful wreath on the door and a holly berry candle on the mantle, and this year, thanks to my recent DNA test, we will be including a menorah along with the family creche, however, my other half is not quite a Clinton Kelly when it comes to holiday embellishment.

Another Holiday Move

I look up from a Hallmark Christmas movie, and to my horror I see my spouse, attired in a Chicago Cubs Santa hat and a flashing Christmas tree tie, hanging jingle bells on the bathroom doorknob. Apparently, there are no safe places from his holiday mania. I cautiously enter the powder room, which has been transformed into a winter wonderland, as in I wonder what the heck happened to my bathroom.

Hang Up the Mistletoe…

Gone are the lovely blue lace-edged fingertip towels and the matching ceramic soap pump. Replacing these tasteful items are Hallmark’s Jolly in the John – really? My husband loves this little guy as much as he loves his Mini – and joining good ol’ Jolly is his pet reindeer, another Hallmark creation, with a roll of toilet paper decorating one of his antlers. Rounding out the tacky trio is Mr. John’s “other half”, a plastic snowwoman soap pump.

And the Toilet Seat

A purple garland adorns the shower curtain rod, and the shell toilet seat is now covered with a giant Santa face, gloved hands covering his eyes (do you blame him?). My attractive celery green with chocolate brown polka-dots bathrobe has been replaced with a latch hook creation of eight tiny reindeer, a rather unfortunate garage sale find. I turn to flee this holiday horror to find my other half nailing mistletoe above the necessary room door.

Merry Migraine!

I resume watching the previously interrupted holiday-inspired film, I take a fortifying sip of my mocha latte as my husband makes his way to the kitchen with a devilish glint in his eye, our jingle bell collared puggle Sasha in tow. My better (?) half is carrying a pair of Rudolph pot holders and a Grinch tea towel. What desecration could he be up to? Visions of plastic glitter sugar plums strung on the stove dance in my head, threatening a migraine. Did I just see our cat Prada wearing kitty-sized elf ears? Over the years my husband has acquired a plethora of kitschy Christmas items, right down to, cover your eyes, glow in the dark snowman boxer shorts, which he actually wears to bed. Does murdering a spouse still rate a life sentence?

Jolly in the John

As I said, one of his favorite pieces of seasonal décor is Hallmark’s “Jolly in the John”; normally I’m a Hallmark kind of girl: love the movies, cards, and ornaments, but I have yet to make friends with good ol’ “Jolly”. A plastic snowman holding a plunger who sings the potty song “Who’s Gotta’ Go”, and informs bathroom visitors they “look a little flush”; in my opinion, he’s gotta’ go. My spouse proudly places him atop the toilet tank, accompanied by his “snowwife”, a plastic lotion dispenser in the shape of a snowwoman, and their beloved pet, another Hallmark creation, a reindeer adorned with a roll of toilet paper on one antler. This “charming” trio has replaced my tasteful glass vase, containing vintage gold and silver Christmas balls.

A Special (Dis)appearance

Ironically, strange things have befallen Jolly – he keeps coming up missing, and stranger still, it only occurs when my hubby isn’t home. I have no idea how Jolly ended up in the bushes-apparently he must have fallen out of the window. I didn’t realize our dog could throw up the sash; lucky for us, our neighbor found him and brought him to our door. My other half then found him in the trash can-I have no idea how he got there, either. He was lovingly washed down and put back and in his place of honor, behind the throne.

Pack It In

Most recently, Jolly turned up at the local thrift store, buried in a box of old clothes I had donated. Lucky for us, that same helpful neighbor volunteers at the resale shop. My husband happened to be in there seeking out more tacky, I mean whimsical, holiday decorations, so the snowman has returned home. I guess I just have to accept that good ol’ Jolly is my husband’s way of decorating. We have certainly decked the halls with a unique bevy of holiday décor, but always in the theme of “peace on earth and goodwill toward men”; yes, Virginia, I married a man with style…

 

30 More of the Worst Gifts Ever

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30 More of the Worst Gifts Ever

 

Think before you give. Check out what not to give.

30 More Worst Gifts Ever

Editor’s Note: A small screw up in editing led to Anna’s advice being divided into two separate posts. It looks like I should have combined this submission with the one from October 25th, 2023 and called it, “The 65 Lousiest Gifts Ever.”  Anyway, here we go…

By Anna Hessel and the Editor (con’t)

  1. Flushable wipes. (Editor: Sometimes after a hospital stay you leave with a lot of useful items; spare urinals, chucks, gauze, waterless shampoo caps, and flushable wipes. Things that you would rather give away than never use. However, I suggest gifting them to your local animal shelter rather than your Aunt Tilly.)
  2. A 64-ounce bottle of extra strength mouthwash. (Editor: I agree, even the giant size bottle is inappropriate).
  3. A jock strap. (especially bad for your great aunt or grandmother…) (Editor: But what about Grampa?)
  4. Any attire with shoulder pads. (Editor: Good advice, Anna. I didn’t like shoulder pads then, and I’m no fonder of them now).
  5. A homemade pet rock. (Editor: N-o-o-ow, wait a minute, Anna. I belong to my local ‘rock’ club. We paint pictures on rocks and then leave them at different spots around the community for people to find and enjoy. I wouldn’t call any of them pets, but awesome anyway).
  6. A Rubik’s Cube (Editor: I never could figure that gizmo out, so definitely agree, it’s a very bad gift).
  7. A disco ball key chain. (Editor: A bit bizarre, but last year a friend gifted me with a cardinal (the bird) key chain, there’s a button on the bird’s back; push it and the bird tweets. Not suggesting it as a better option, but apparently, key chains are making a comeback as gifts).
  8. A professional house cleaning. (Editor: Anna, I want to tell you, I like a clean house, especially if someone else is swinging the mop. This could be a much appreciated gift; for some of us anyway).
  9. A box of leakproof trash bags. (Editor: Totally disgusting, I don’t think trash bags, leakproof or not, are ever on anyone’s wish list).
  10. A mop and bucket, fresh from the home maintenance aisle at Walmart. (Editor: I agree with Anna on this one. Definitely, in very poor taste).
  11. Disposable razors. (Editor: Yuck).
  12. 101 ways to cook kale cookbook. (Editor: Dearest Anna, Kale offers an abundance of nutrients, including potassium, fiber, folate, and calcium. Kale can reduce the risk of heart disease by helping lower LDL cholesterol, or “bad cholesterol”. Not all gifts need to be warm and fuzzy some can be useful).
  13. Fun with artificial colors cookbook. (Editor: I have nothing to say.)
  14. Anything you created at your first pottery lesson. (Editor: Excellent advice, Anna).
  15. A ‘Bedazzler’ or anything you bedazzled yourself. (Editor: I didn’t think you could still buy such a thing, but I was wrong; available on Amazon. So, take Anna’s advice and keep your bedazzling to yourself).
  16. Anything polyester. (Editor: Polyester freed women from the slavery of the ironing board, but now 50 years later women have tossed out both the iron, the ironing board, and the polyester),
  17. Refrigerator magnets in the shape of vegetables or fruit.
  18. Any experimental art.
  19. Kitty litter (especially if the recipient does not have a cat). (Editor: Uhhh. I definitely support Anna on this one. Instead, take your unused kitty litter or animal food to your local animal shelter and gift it to them this holiday season. Please support your local no kill Animal Shelter).
  20. Expired food. (Editor: Not only offensive, but likely dangerous).
  21. Insect spray (Editor: FYI, former heavyweight champion, Mohammad Ali, was believed to have caused himself severe neurological damage by constantly spraying insect killer around himself).
  22. Bat or rat plush toy or pillow.
  23. Cellulite cream. (Editor: This could be touchy; I personally, wouldn’t risk giving cellulite cream to anyone, ever).

You’ve been waiting for it- here’s the top seven political gifts, NOT to give.

  1. The Donald inaugural commemorative whiskey flask.
  2. The complete ten season box set of “The Apprentice,” (Editor: I saw one episode of that show and that was all I could stand. They actually made 10 seasons of that crap? Amazing.)
  3. Pat Robertson bubble head. (Editor: I think Pat is best left forgotten).
  4. Ron DeSantis bubble head. (Editor: A blip, a blimp, a cowboy boot wearin’ Trump wannabe).
  5. Donald Trump bubble head (oh wait, aren’t they called bobble heads?)
  6. Smelling salts (unless of course one of these bubble heads are on the air…)
  7. A Halloween costume, especially if there is a Trump mask involved.

Please remember that one of the worst possible gifts is the Donald Trump gift set: the set consists of a Trump Chia head And a Trump bubble head, because two of his heads are never better than one.

Friends, Let’s fill our hearts with love and pray for peace in Palestine.

35 of the Worst Gifts to Give

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35 of the Worst Gifts to Give Gift giving can be hard, Anna Hessel says think before you buy that Weight Watchers membership for your friend, get an Amazon gift card instead.

35 of the Worst Gifts to Give

Editor’s Note: When Anna Hessel submitted the attached post, I hemmed and hawed a bit, complaining it was “too early” to start thinking of Thanksgiving, much less Christmas. I was reminded however, that in the good ol’ USA, Christmas never ends. As proof of that sentiment, when I went to my local Walmart the other day to pick up a Halloween pumpkin for carving, and a scary doorbell howler to terrorize the Trick or Treaters, I was confronted with reality; not only does Christmas never end in  America, but neither does any other holiday. Wally World had it all; from the giant red heart pillow, left over from Valentine’s Day, to the new pink Barbie Christmas ornaments. There seems to be no apology for the outright commercialization of every holiday in our capitalist society. That is not necessarily a bad thing, just a reflection of America’s unique take on holidays. We like ’em-and the date on the calendar seems to have nothing to do with the enjoyment of the season. Whatever that season may be. So, here is Anna’s suggestions for what NOT to gift this Christmas, or any other day, accompanied by a few of my comments.

 

By Anna Hessel and the Editor

35. The infamous lump of coal. (Editor: I don’t even know where you would find a lump of coal these days. Maybe Joe Manchin could find one for us).

34. A 2023 calendar. (Editor: Totally agree. Who wants to be reminded of the past when the future is racing towards us?)

33. Air freshener, disinfectant, oven or drain cleaner.

32. Weight Watchers gift card. (Editor: Unless of course, it was requested).

31. Deep wrinkle reducing cream with a spackle knife. (Editor: This one could end long established friendships).

30. Au Natural ‘Lumberjack’ cologne just for her.

29. A Limburger cheese scented candle. (Editor:  A cheese connoisseur may feel differently).

28. Deodorant (these really stink as gifts…)

27. A set of encyclopedias. (Editor: This means they were printed before the internet. Just take a minute to digest that…it would be like reading the Archives of Alexandria).

26. Antifungal anything. (Editor: This is definitely too personal).

25. A crochet pot holder crafted at your first crochet class. (Editor: Mine is framed, proudly taking up wall space in my kitchen).

24. A place setting of “china” from the Dollar General.

23. A VHS tape collection  of  embarrassing family moments.

22. An eight track tape of Herschel and the Hillbillies.

21. Socks of any color. (Editor: On this I must protest, I’ve gotten some darn cool socks at Christmas, that I still wear. I’ve got the cute fire fighters pair and the classic cars socks, and of course, the Santa socks, and many more).

20. Purple socks and a crushed velvet Donny Osmond cap. (Editor: I don’t know about this one. I’m kind of into the feel of crushed velvet-and Donny is okay in my book, and I’ve already told you how I feel about socks as gifts-and purple is one of my favorite colors).

19. A GMO foods gift basket.

18. A tie (apologies to my husband because I already bought him one…). (Editor: here again I protest, I’ve already stashed away several awesome ones for my honey).

17. A can of Simoniz. (Editor: I totally agree on this one-unless of course, it’s accompanied with a gift certificate to my favorite auto detailer).

16. A pickleball Ken doll.

15. A pickleball lesson gift certificate. (Editor: Anna, again, I must protest. Pickleball is the “new, great thing” in my little community and I wouldn’t mind learning how to play this outrageously fun looking sport- you can give me one of those gift certificates any day).

14. Artificial flavor favorites cookbook. (Editor: I agree, an abomination).

13. Nose hair trimmer, toenail clipper, ingrown toenail file, pimple popper, earwax remover, or any other gross grooming implement. (Editor: Ohhhh dear, I gave my Dad one of those really lovely grooming kits, in a fancy leather carrying case, just a couple years ago. He said, he liked it).

12. Anything pumpkin spice (don’t be tempted by the fact that the PS stuff is now in the clearance bin…).

11. Membership to the kale of the month club.

10. Dental floss, not even the peppermint flavored variety.

9. Last year’s re-gifted fruit cake. (Editor: I definitely agree you shouldn’t wait so long to re-gift the cake. Now, I’ve heard they have a long shelf life, but I’d recommend if you really want to re-gift the fruit cake you should do it no later than Valentine’s Day).

8. A bathroom wastebasket. (Editor: I agree this is definitely a personal choice item).

7. A toilet cleaning brush with matching plunger. (Editor: Definitely hovering on disgusting).

6. Name a cockroach after your loved one certificate (suitable for framing). (Editor: However, a framed certificate of a new star named after a loved one, might be fun.)

At some point you knew this was going to turn political. Just so you aren’t disappointed, here’s a few jabs at the former guy and his crew.

5. My Pillow. (Editor: I hear Mike Lindell needs the money; that’s a good reason not to buy one).

4. An autographed mug shot of the Donald. (Editor: I cringe at the thought).

3. Trumpy Bear. (Editor: Yes, it is a real thing and I’d stay away from it, far away from it, especially if you’re an attorney).

2. A slightly used red MAGA hat.

1. A Donald Trump head-Chia Pet style-with orange foliage growing out of its several orifices. (Editor: I understand there is  limited number of the heads, due to low interest in that guy).

 

Snatching Santa

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SNATCHING SANTA

SNATCHING SANTA

The age old battle of good vs evil played out at Christmas 

By D. S. Mitchell

It was a small noise that woke Santa. Something out of place in the middle of the night. He lay in the dark, wondering if he’d imagined, or possibly dreamt the sound. Mary Claus slept by his side, her steady breathing the only sound in their darkened bedroom.

“There it was again,” he said under his breath.

This time it seemed to be at the back of the house. It was the sound of feet on gravel, a noise that wouldn’t be noticed during daylight hours, but seemed magnified by the darkness. It was close to 3:00 am. He worried that a sneak thief might be trying to break into his toy shop.

The suddenness of the event shocked him. The front and back door were simultaneously kicked in, and several men rushed through the battered doors into the house. The sound of polished boots on hardwood floors echoed down the halls. Mrs. Claus gasped as they both sat upright. Santa started to get out of bed, but the light came on before his foot hit the floor.

Two men armed with automatic weapons stood in the doorway, blocking any possible escape. The taller of the two men took in the room in a glance before lowering his eyes to the bed. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his weapon directly at Santa.

“What do you want?” Santa demanded.

“Shut up,” was his answer.

The weapon remained on its target and the tall man warmed the trigger with an agitated finger before saying, “Get dressed old man, you’re coming with us.”

Santa could see the shadows of several men moving about the house, the intruders opening closets, drawers, and doors. Mrs. Claus screamed. Santa hushed her with a hug and whispered reassurances.

“I said get your ass out of bed, Chubby.”

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60 Beauty Tips For Women Of A Certain Age

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60 Beauty Tips For Women Of A Certain Age

As Women's History Month comes to a close, Anna Hessel pokes fun at women of a certain age.

60 Beauty Tips For Women Of A Certain Age

By Anna Hessel

 

Certain Age, Turn The Page…

In honor of Women’s History Month, let’s help us beautiful women of a certain age look and feel our best with sixty ways to be fabulous in your forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond…

Ten For Zen…

  1. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize…
  2. Choose dentists wisely – be as discerning as you would with any other doctor, and use teeth whitening products. White teeth take years off your face.
  3. Accessorize; don’t overdo it but definitely use accessories to your best advantage.
  4. Don’t ever wear stained clothes or apparel with holes or tears, unless they are supposed to be there.
  5. Wear clothes that fit and float away from the body. Don’t let frumpy become your friend. This goes double for tacky; don’t look cheap.
  6. Even if you can only afford thrift or mass merchandise store clothes, keep them clean and repaired. Check seams and button holes for the best quality you can afford.
  7. Get manicures and pedicures – chipped polish and talons are not flattering.
  8. Wear a decent bra and Spanx or the like.
  9. Avoid dangerous plastic surgery but non invasive Brazilian butt lifts, face peels, skin tightening, microdermabrasion, and micro-needling can help you look your best.
  10. Don’t smoke.

Twenty And Plenty…

  1. Bathe or shower daily.
  2. Moisturize your eye area; I have used Vaseline and eye cream for years, and it pays off.
  3. Bangs are cheaper and likely safer than Botox.
  4. Get some exercise. I love water exercise; dance, yoga – do whatever your mobility level allows.
  5. Wear whatever you like – age appropriate is what you can rock, however, don’t wear clothes with teddy bears or the like.
  6. Use a good quality neck cream, whatever you can afford, but expensive doesn’t always mean better.
  7. Try to avoid stress but if you can’t destress the best you can.
  8. Be well groomed – razors, tweezers, and waxing are your friends.
  9. Wear makeup – not too much, not too little.
  10. Smile, even if your mask hides it – your eyes show it.

Thirty And Flirty…

  1. Laugh lines mean you laugh and have joy in your life. We have earned every wrinkle.
  2. Go blonde, it gives the illusion of thickness, hides gray hairs, and adds body.
  3. Do not wear socks with sandals, or Velcro closure anything, ever.
  4. Get your rest, eat in color: fruits, veggies, lean protein, and don’t over do sugar.
  5. Don’t over indulge in alcohol but wine can be a mature woman’s friend.
  6. Search the net or magazines for hairstyles that flatter mature faces and thinner tresses. Take a photo to show your hair stylist. Avoid gels, opt for mousse. Condition but don’t over condition. Dry shampoos for bangs and the scalp area are helpful.
  7. Find a skin care regimen that works for you. Never go to bed without washing your face. Wash the makeup and day away but avoid harsh cleansers.
  8. Don’t blot your lipstick.
  9. Matte lipsticks are great under a mask but drying. Don’t forget your lip area – lip masks and balm are very important
  10. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate…

Forty And Fun…

  1. Eyebrows need extra care at our age: pencil, gel, henna, and tints are all options to fill in sparse brows.
  2. Mascara both top and bottom lashes; falsies are in style, go for it…
  3. A bit of fragrance adds a feminine touch.
  4. Smart is beautiful.
  5. Have fun – it will take some years off.
  6. Have faith – it shows on your face.
  7. Use heat hair styling appliances sparingly and condition, but be careful of conditioners and hair products that weigh hair down.
  8. Avoid severe hair styles and extra heavy hair spray.
  9. I had read someplace that beautiful Martha Stewart starts each day by applying a face mask. I have begun to adopt this daily routine.
  10. It’s okay to not be twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty or even seventy, beauty is not a number or a size.

Fifty And Nifty…

  1. Parabens, mineral oil, and petroleum, I do avoid but admit to using petroleum jelly. Try coconut oil for a natural alternative.
  2. Avoid chemicals, preservatives, artificial flavors or colors, and processed food.
  3. Wear Betsey Johnson and Norma Kamali; at what age do we stop having fun with our clothes and accessories? Never.
  4. Be cautious and educated before trying a new beauty procedure of any kind.
  5. Tried and true microdermabrasion is a great exfoliating treatment, salon or home based – it gets rid of dead skin cells; use a firming moisturizer to follow.
  6. Products containing retinol, hyaluronic acid, and salicylic acid are helpful. A good facial with extraction will remove blackheads safely.
  7. Avoid adult acne with proper cleansing and use heavy moisturizers, especially those containing oils, in moderation. A little goes a long way.
  8. Minoxidil for women and supplements such as biotin for hair, skin, and nails are excellent for women our age, as our hair thins.
  9. Don’t sleep on your face and keep linens, especially pillowcases, very clean.
  10. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate – drink plenty of water. We filter our tap water and I love bottled water, especially Evian.

Sixty Is Sexy…

  1. Avoid saturated fats, but opt for healthy fats such as nuts, salmon and the like.
  2. Don’t experiment with new skin or hair care before a major event; this goes double for haircuts and beauty procedures.
  3. We all have an overly enthusiastic friend, family member, or colleague that sells a direct market cosmetic line that is working wonders for them, maybe we sell a line ourselves, but don’t feel obligated to buy, use what works for you. Don’t expect to look twenty again; be realistic in choosing skin care but good dermal maintenance is a must.
  4. Pets are a blessing – they help us destress and show lots of love. Show your love to an animal, it will show on your beautiful face.
  5. Maintain excellent posture – don’t slouch still holds true. Hold your tummy in, your shoulders back and down. Strut like you mean it, knee brace and all.
  6. If you can no longer wear stilettos, there are many attractive shoes out there with lower heels or flats.
  7. Make your own homemade beauty products. Find recipes online or experiment. It’s a great way to use up recently outdated fruits, yogurt, cucumbers, or the like. Coffee grinds make a great cellulite treatment but can be a bit of a mess to use.
  8. We all know what Elle Woods says about endorphins: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” Sex is exercise – just saying…
  9. Live life like Elle after Warner tells her she is not smart enough for Harvard Law.
  10. “And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance…” Dancing will give you endorphins…

Ready, Set, Grow!

Go for it, beautiful woman of a certain age – you are stunning…

Women’s Day Celebrates Women

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30 Quotes Celebrating Women

March 8, International Women's Day is a day we celebrate the accomplishments of women around the world.

30 Quotes Celebrating Women:

International Women’s Day

D. S. Mitchell

March 8th marks a wartime strike in 1917, when Russian women demanded “bread and peace”. Within four days of the strike’s start, the tsar was forced to abdicate and the provisional government granted women the right to vote. That is how and why March 8 became the date we celebrate Women’s Day.

The date is recognized world wide as International Women’s Day; a day to recognize the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. It is also a day to raise awareness of women’s equality and lobby for accelerated gender parity. I thought it might be fun to look at some famous quotes celebrating women, so here goes, be inspired:

3o Quotes Honoring Women

1.) “Here’s to strong women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.” –Unknown

2.) “To tell a woman everything she cannot do is to tell her what she can.” –Spanish Proverb

3.) “Well-behaved women rarely make history.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

4.) “The best protection any woman can have is courage.” –Elizabeth Cady Stanton

5.) “Where there is a woman, there is magic.” –Ntozake Shange

6.) “You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.” –Unknown

7.) “Women are the largest untapped reservoir of talent in the world.” –Hilary Clinton

8.) “Feminism is for everyone.”-Bell Hooks

9.) “There’s nothing a man can do that I can’t do better and in heels.” –Ginger Rogers

10.) “Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim.” –Nora Ephron

11.) “Girls should never be afraid to be smart.” –Emma Watson

12.) “Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.” –Stephanie Bennett-Henry

13.) “A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.” –Gina Carey

14.) “She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword.” –Atticus

15.) “A strong woman stands up for herself. A stronger woman stands up for everyone else.” –Unknown

16.) “Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.” –G.D. Anderson

17.) “You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up instead of tearing each other down.” –Unknown

18.) “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me.” –Ayn Rand

19.) “I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.” –Madonna

20.) “A woman is like a tea bag: You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

21.) “A woman should be like a single flower—not a whole bouquet.” –Anna Held

22.) “I know what I bring to the table… So trust me when I say I’m not afraid to eat alone.” –Unknown

23.) “Women are the real architects of society.” –Cher

24.) “When women wake, mountains move.” Chinese Proverb

25.)  “She’s a strong cup of black coffee in a world that is drunk on the cheap wine of shallow love.” –Unknown

26.) “Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” –Unknown

27.) “I expect woman will be the last thing civilized by man.” –George Meredith

28.) “Women are made to be loved, not understood.” –Oscar Wilde

29.) “The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

30.) “In our society, the women who break down barriers are those who ignore limits” –Arnold Schwarzenegger

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2017/03/29/quotes-on-courage/

 

The Powerful Words Of Dr. King

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The Powerful Words Of Dr. King

Dr. MLK had powerful words for our society

The Powerful Words Of Dr. King

By Wes & Anna Hessel

 

The Great Doctor

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., stands as the paramount leader of the civil rights movement.  There were many more alongside him, most notably the other members of the “Big Six”.  They were James Farmer, A. Philip Randolph, Roy Wilkins, Whitney Young, and John Lewis.  But Dr. King, or MLK, as many refer to him, was the most visible light and lightning rod.

He Still Speaks To Us

His words continue to speak volumes today, calling us to continue the fight for what is right. Most particularly right now is the need to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act and the Freedom to Vote Act.  That is the legacy that should be made to honor both these men who worked staunchly for what they believed.  Dr. King’s own family is calling for a hold on celebrating his day until these voting rights bills are made law.  In the meantime, we hear the echoes of MLK’s quotable phrases and speeches.

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Memories of a Montana Christmas

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Memories of a Montana Christmas

I remember Montana winters with snow and family.

Memories of a Montana Christmas

Christmas Memories. . . Reflections on a Different Time

By Megan Wallin

I  remember many of my childhood Christmases being snow-covered, Kinkade-looking holidays, because we weren’t at home in the dreary and temperate climate of Seattle, Washington, but venturing into the small town on Alberton, Montana.

My mom and her then-boyfriend would take me with them to visit his family in that small town nearly every Christmas or Thanksgiving. There, I would read endless books in their basement, drink an abundance of hot chocolate, build giant snowmen, cut down a Christmas tree near their family cabin, and occasionally wander around finding remains of dead animals—all of which was utterly fascinating for a kid used to life in the city.

For context, this was the mid-1990’s, a time when children weren’t glued to the internet, there were no Tik Tok trends, and we had actual breaks from our classmates’ influence during vacations due to the absence of social media. Parents also seemed more at ease with our lack of ties to the outside world, and—perhaps under the misconception that the world was “safer” then—would sometimes let us roam during the day and come back for dinner at evening. One year, that roaming took a particularly dangerous turn.

I was about ten years old, and the snowfall from the previous night had created a white blanket that came up to my knees when I tried to walk. Naturally, this was an invitation to hop and skip through the fields just beyond the house where we were staying.

Once I ventured past the road and began walking through the field alongside it, I became a bit careless, jumping around in the newly fallen snow, enjoying the feeling of falling down into something not quite solid. I hadn’t ventured far, and could still see the house in the distance, with the road nearby barely visible under the fresh blanket of white. The air was cold enough to feel heavy, and the silence of no traveling cars, or other people, seemed to add to that weight.

Moments like these were some of the most peaceful my city-bound senses could take in. Then it happened.

The ground beneath me seemed to completely give way, and that falling sensation lasted for an uncomfortably long time. I think my surprise was so great and the air so cold that I couldn’t even muster a shocked yelp. I just fell dangerously into a narrow pit, previously wholly unnoticed.

What I had discovered was a hole left by the removal of an old telephone pole, and while it didn’t fill completely with snow, it was difficult to see given the current conditions. There was barely enough room for my body, the space was so slim, and it was a wonder I hadn’t broken a limb during descent. But there I was: trapped, standing straight up and down like a soldier, with little room to move or climb my way out of the frozen earth, and nothing to grip.

Snow was still falling. I found my voice, taking in a full inhalation of cold air after breathlessly screaming, “Help!”

I quickly began running through scenarios in my mind of who would discover my body, and when, and how. Would it be Spring? I tried to picture who would attend the funeral at the Presbyterian church we attended in West Seattle. My mind raced with questions about whether I would die from the cold or suffocate from being buried alive. Fortunately, I didn’t have much time alone with my thoughts.

Coincidently, and not at all in 1990’s fashion, an adult was already looking for me. One of the nephews had ventured out to see if the small child who had come to visit was actually wearing a proper coat for the weather. He heard my panicked screams and interceded immediately, perhaps already aware of the gaping hole in the ground.

I spent the next hour drinking hot chocolate and regaling the group with my tale of “near death,” snuggled up in a warm blanket and gazing outside occasionally. I knew it would be a while before my mom let me outside-and out of sight-again.

Now I think back on those times as we all prepare for holidays where we sit in someone’s living room with a large television present and likely no snow outside, and continually micro-manage our children who are either on screens or needing excess supervision because they are otherwise occupied. (Either way, we’re essentially deciding between “more than the recommended amount of screen time” or “potential trip to the E.R.”)

On one hand, our children aren’t in danger of being buried alive in the snow in a remote small town in Montana. On the other hand, holidays have become just another day off work and school, where we provide an excess of toys and entertainment only for it to pale in comparison to one day in a newly formed snowdrift.

For now, I accept that nostalgia may cover a multitude of sins, so to speak. Life wasn’t necessarily better or worse a few decades ago; it was simply different.

 

Thanksgiving In Perspective

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OPINION: Thanksgiving In Perspective

OPINION: From My Perspective

A Traditional Thanksgiving May Become a Relic of the Past

By Megan Wallin

As an adoptee with strong ties to and respect for my biological Oglala Lakota heritage—now three generations and several European ancestors away from life on the reservation—I’ve had some qualms with traditional American views of Thanksgiving.

There are quite a few people (Native and Non) who feel similarly, but I’ve also spoken with some elders who, despite being deeply ingrained in their tribal cultures, feel neutral on the subject. Their reasoning? Holidays are what you make them. For many, any holiday is a day off to share with loved ones and focus on gratitude, and that includes this one. Still, it remains a bleak reminder of the origin story behind genocide and intergeneration trauma.

Ironically, some of the people I’ve talked to who are most passionately opposed to Thanksgiving have entirely European heritage. They’ve proposed enjoying the day off but celebrating a Harvest Day, changing the title and the focus of a day ultimately rooted in celebrating colonialism that led to the destruction of tribes, families, cultures and languages. They’re certainly not wrong to think that.

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