An OMG Christmas Newsletter

An OMG Christmas Newsletter

 

 

An OMG Christmas Newsletter

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Too Many Days

I know all years, except for Leap Year, have 365 days.  So, why does 2025 feel like it’s got 750 days? Never mind; I figured it out on my own. Donald J. Trump’s in office and it feels like every ‘friggen day has somehow been virtually stretched and twisted until it feels like two.

How Much Bullshit is Too Much?

My memories of Trump’s first term are foggy at  best, but I think Trump wanted to takeover Greenland during his first administration and he continued the rhetoric into his second term. While deflecting the fallout from suggesting that we should make Canada the 51st state, I think  that’s when Trump started  demanding Google and all the map makers change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Just meaningless distractions? I’m not so sure. The ramblings of a demented old man? I’m sure it’s some of that, but certainly not all of it.

Heritage Foundation

None of it makes sense; unless you believe in Project 2025. The deeper we move into Trump’s Alice in Wonderland world the more chaotic…the more numbing. Trump has signed more than 220 Executive Orders since retaking the White House, surpassing all previous records and raising major concerns about the abuse of presidential power. The Robert’s Supreme Court seems more than willing to grant Trump’s every wish. Is there no conscience? No justice? No honor? No fairness? Apparently, not. There seems to be no limit on the Heritage Foundation’s love affair with the Robert’s court and its willingness to drag us back to 1950, or 1850. A time when women bore children, lots of them, a time when a woman had no rights except those allowed by her father or her husband. A time when white children were sold into indentured servitude, when blacks were slaves. A time when none of us want to go back to unless you are white, male, and wealthy.

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Things That Make Me Cry


Things That Make Me Cry

Things That Make Me Cry

D. S. Mitchell

No Smiles

My regular monthly post, “Things That Make Me Smile” has been replaced this month with the “Things That Make Me Cry.” The egregious activities of dictator Trump have brought me to tears more than once this last 10 months. “Trump’s egregious infractions range from unfair to the unconstitutional to the unconscionable,” according to Ruben Navarrette. Its not just Trump, but his cronies in congress who are allowing Trump to bulldoze our government. Navarrette continues that Trump has “defaced, defiled, and destroyed the institutions and traditions that make America great.”

Spot On

Sadly, Navarrette is spot on, and that’s why I can’t stop crying. I am watching the death of our democracy, one executive order at a time. How about you? Is this president breaking your heart too? We are together in this thing. Grab my hand and let’s commit to do everything within our power to elect a blue House and a blue Senate. Stop the oligarchs. Stop the madness. Protest and demonstrate. Donate as much as you can, as often as you can. It takes a lot of money and a lot of noise to defeat the billionaire boy’s club.

Self-Interest Above All

Trump will go down in history as a morally corrupt conman, carnival barker, bigot, and 35 count convicted felon who only asked what the presidency could do for him, not what he could do for the presidency or the country.

15 Things That Trump Has Done That Made Me Cry 

No. 1: The bulldozing And Complete Destruction Of The Historic East Wing Of The White House: A woman on the tellie called it a “gut punch,” and I feel the same. When I saw the pictures of the demolished East Wing on the Rachael Maddow show it took my breath away. Literally. I was gasping for air, it ‘effin looked like we’d just been bombed. And I guess we were, but it was a domestic terrorist, and his name is  Donald Trump. No one asked the American people if they wanted a gaudy skid road carney show at the White House. How in the ‘eff is Trump getting away with this. Private donations? Ahhh….nothing about this is sounding okay.

No. 2: Trump’s Illegal Dumb-Ass Tariffs: Weaponizing trade policy by imposing punitively high tariffs on imports from more than 180 countries, even on an island inhabited only by penguins. Boy, DJT, you look so stupid and ignorant, you leave us in breathless shock. Trump has recklessly added more fucking taxes on the already overwhelmed  U.S. citizenry. Great messaging. Another gold toilet for Trump. I think George III was sent the message, “No Kings Here,” back in 1776, now it appears you, Mr. Trump need a history lesson. Making matters worse he’s paused the tariffs, schizophrenically changed the tariff rate multiple times to the same country, then for no reasonable rationale restarted them, before in some panicked moment paused them again.

No. 4: Intentional Suppression Of The Epstein Files: Trump has used the power of his lawless government to stop the release of the Epstein files and distract from that suppression in every imaginable way. Trump and the most infamous sex trafficker of the 20th century was according to Trump, “his best buddy” for over a decade. My mom always said, “you’ll be judged by those you associate with.”  So, using that old time truism, you are who you run with. Trump like former Prince Andrew was running around with a sex trafficker extraordinaire Jeffrey Epstein which says to me, he was participating in the abuses right along with dozens of other rich and powerful men. How many trips to Epstein Island, Donald? I say, release the files and let the American people judge how involved Trump was in Epstein’s crimes.

No. 5: Abandoning Ukraine: Who could forget that February meeting at the WH between Trump and Zelenskyy that ended in an ugly rant by Trump. Zelenskyy was invited back to the White House a week ago when Trump dangled the possibility of providing Ukraine with long range Tomahawk  missiles, giving Ukraine the ability to launch offensive attacks on Russia. After luring him to the WH with false promises Trump told Z just to give Putin the land and it would all be over. Unimaginable. Since when does a president of the United States humiliate and demonize an ally and hook their panties to a dictator.

No. 6: War Against Birthright Citizenship: Trump’s on going assault against the Constitution is on full display on this one. The 14th Amendment  spelled out by the Founding Fathers, states unequivocally if you are born in the United States you are entitled to full citizenship, by right of being born here, no questions asked.  Trump wants to turn 250 years of law on its head without going through the amendment process, just do it because Trump tells us to. The argument being that only children of citizens born here are entitled to US citizenship the-children of undocumented immigrants would not be given such privilege.

No. 7:  The Loss Of Due Process: Unleashing, without due process, a flurry of legally dubious deportations, not just of the undocumented but also green card holders, legal residents, AND even U.S. citizens. Blowing up boats in the open ocean without arrest or warning, based on some “belief” the targeted craft could be smuggling drugs is unbelievable. Here’s that pesky Constitution again, The 5th Amendment to the Constitution explicitly states “no person shall … be deprived of life, liberty or property, without due process of law.”  Quite simply, due process guarantees that no one will be arbitrarily fined, arrested, deported or killed by the state-unless they are told the accusations against them, and then be allowed to contest those allegations before a judge (neutral 3rd party).The loss of due process is a scary prospect.

No. 8: Taking A Big Jet From Qatar: What the hell? Since when do we take used equipment, I’m talking about the the Boeing 747 Trump wants to use as Air Force One, that requires billions of dollars to refit? Just B.S. We’ve got airplane manufacturers here in the United States. How about building something that the government gets to keep, not one that Trump plans on using until his death when supposedly his estate will turn it over to the Trump Library. Some say that Qatar bankrolls Hamas terrorists, but oh, well, fearless leader wants it- so-of course the Congress said, “yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.”

No. 9: Trump Demanding $230 Million Dollars From DOJ: Trump himself said it seemed ridiculous that he had the ability to okay the transfer of $230 million dollars from the DOJ to himself. Why would the DOJ pay this con man anything, I ask. Trump claims wrongful prosecution by Jack Smith and others. Oh, really. According to the emoluments clause Trump has no such ability. He cannot pay himself more than his salary. The corruption is so blatant and so in your face I a left speechless. Every day something new, and more corrupt. Take for instance the Trump family crypto scam.

No. 10: Cyrpto Contest Shenanigan’s: Back in May Trump offered to the highest paying customers of his personal cryptocurrency a dinner and tour of the WH by Trump himself. Sounded like Trump was selling access to himself and the White House for personal profit. Seems like a logical conclusion. Trump began selling his new tokens three days before his inauguration. The coin, which has zero intrinsic value, soared to $75 each, allowing  60 of the earliest buyers to profit over $10 million each before the $TRUMP coins plummeted in value. When Trump announced his contest in late April to award a “gala” dinner at his golf resort in Sterling, Virginia, to the top 220 Trump coin purchasers, based on how much they held on average from Jan. 17, 2024 through May 15, 2025. At that time the coin was a depressed $8 each. The top 25 coin holders would also be invited to a “VIP” reception with Trump before the dinner and then a tour the following day. The contest website originally had said a White House tour was part of the package, but subsequently changed the webpage to delete the White House reference. Sometimes when it looks like in your face corruption, it is. As part of the crypto corruption Trump just pardoned Changpeng Zhao, commonly called CZ, for admitted money laundering. Mr Zhao just happens to be in the crypto business with the Trump family. Nothing to see here folks, just move along.

No. 11: Trump Claims Immunity From Judicial Review: The Supreme Court under  John Robert’s is a sickening collection of outlaws and revisionists. Historically this court will be viewed as a shameful period for the law. It seems that this pathetic court has underwritten just about anything Trump dreams up. Recently the Mango Mussolini claimed there could be no judicial review of his administration’s actions. Trump stated the president didn’t have to answer to the federal courts, and even threatened sitting judges that strike down his policies as unlawful and need to be impeached and replaced with those that are blind MAGA supporters.

No. 12: The Weaponization Of The Department of Justice: The takeover of the DOJ and the FBI, by Donnie Dearest is becoming increasingly alarming. Daddy Trump is now directing who should be indicted and prosecuted. Revenge and retribution for anyone who stepped on the fat one’s swollen toes or someone who may have angered him, or got ahead of him at the buffet line is in danger of having their lives turned upside down. John Bolton, Leticia James, James Comey are just the beginning of a boatload of politically targeted prosecutions. Watch out Chris Wray, Miles Taylor, Chris Krebs, John Brennan, Chris Christie, Adam Schiff, and even special prosecutor, Jack Smith.

No. 13: Pardoning The January 6th Rioters:  Trump on his second Inauguration Day distinguished himself by pardoning nearly 1600 people who participated in the January 6th, 2020 riot. Many of these offenders beat up cops, damaged, defaced, or stole government property, and threatened the lives of legislators. Since the pardon at least a dozen of these folks have been rearrested for new crimes.  Recently, a 1/6 pardon recipient was subsequently arrested for threatening to kill Hakeem Jeffries, the Democratic Leader of the House.

No. 14: Tax Cuts For Oligarchs, Insurance Cuts For Americans: On July 4, 2025, Trump signed “The Big Ugly Bill” leading to the largest cuts to health care into law. The entirely Republicans back reckless legislation cuts more than $1 trillion from Medicaid and the Affordable Care Act, destabilizing the health care system and making health care more expensive and harder to access for all Americans. The latest estimates from the nonpartisan, independent congressional Budget Office (CBO), Republicans’ health care cuts will terminate health insurance for roughly 15 million Americans. Some reports mistakenly suggest that Americans will not feel the harms of this legislation in the near term. Republicans are saying that select cuts could be stopped or delayed, while others are lying and saying there are no cuts to Medicaid. Month by month, hospitals are shutting down, clinics are closing, staff are being laid off, services are being cancelled, and families are paying more out of pocket, unable to access the care they need.

No. 15: Targeting Marginalized Groups: Trump and associates have instituted a campaign of anti-LGBTQ+ policies. Human rights groups note that Trump has stripped legal protections for transgender people and restricted access to gender affirming care. Trump has been openly hostile to the LGBTQ community and vehemently opposed the Equality Act, which would have ensured that existing civil rights protections cover sexual orientation and gender identity in the way that they already do for race, disability, veteran status, and more. The Dumpster also blocked basic job protections for LGBTQ people, insisting that employers should be free to fire workers for their sexual orientation or gender identity. The Department of Health and Human Services under the Trump administration also eliminated nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ people established under the Affordable Care Act.

 

Let’s Get Off the Couch

Let’s Get Off the Couch

Let’s Get Off the Couch

By D. S. Mitchell 

 

One to the Solar Plexus

Trump’s 2024 election victory hit me like a Mac truck. I wasn’t just physically devastated; I was psychologically traumatized. All those rallies, all those meetings, all those phone calls, all those yard signs, all those donations; all for nothing. Quite truthfully, that first week after the election I huddled on the couch with my Teddy, a soft blankie, and a fifth of Johnnie Walker within easy reach. What now? I worried.

BS and Bluster

I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. It’s clear, Trump’s solution to high meat and egg prices is to seize Greenland, annex Canada, institute tariffs on our two biggest trading partners Mexico and Canada, send American troops to secure the Panama Canal, from what we are not sure of, and then Trump’s desire to take over Gaza from Israel. With billions in investment capital and an army of bulldozers Trump states he will turn the rubble of Gaza into the “Riviera of the Middle East”. Of course the displacement of the 2.14 million Palestinians is illegal and Trump himself admits that  U.S. military intervention may be required. Before the uproar over that absurdity quieted down, Trump told Ukrainians that they needed to be ready to guarantee the supply of more rare earth metals in exchange for our continued support in their fight against Putin.

Google On

Until this week, lawmakers, even Democrats, have been telling us to please just relax, Trump won’t be able to do any of these things; it’s just the old guy hyping the unpredictable and outrageous to keep us all off balance and unsure of what to do in response to his reckless disregard for our laws and our institutions. Well, Google took him seriously, and so have the oligarchs in waiting. Google announced it will change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. The richest people in the country are lining up to give financial support to the Orange One. Talk about bending the knee and kissing the ring. What I’d say, we have here is bending of the knee and kissing the ass. I don’t think we have time to sit back and wait, they are moving through the government departments with a wrecking ball.

Critical Action

Get up off the couch, drop the Teddy, put the bottle of Johnnie Walker down and start calling your friends and neighbors. It’s up to us to form an effective response to Trump’s lawless approach to government. Let’s get moving, we have a democracy to save.

Resolve to Resist the Trump Machine in 2025

25 Ways I Resolve to Resist in 2025

Today's word is Resist

25 Ways I Resolve to Resist in 2025

Editor: I’ve been told that a majority of voters elected Trump in 2024, but that doesn’t mean I agree with the results; and I know there are millions more just like Cate and Calamity who will continue the Resistance campaign against Trump and the big money funding until this abomination to our constitution can be brought under control.  Fuck the oligarchs. Fuck Citizen’s United. Fuck the Project 2025 agenda.

By Cate Rees-Hessel

Resolute in Resolution

This year my New Year’s resolutions involve resisting the threat to our democracy because, “when we fight, we win.” We can still wish one another a happy New Year, despite the impending doom. I will not watch the inauguration – instead I will scrub my toilet and scoop my cat’s litter box. I pray a fervent prayer for peace and a miracle to occur to prevent “The Donald” from taking office. President Biden has promised to not pardon the orange-haired monster. Will VP Harris refuse to certify the convicted felon’s election because of January 6th? I hope so; but I know she will do what she is supposed to do, perform the ceremony.

Do the Right Thing, Not Right Wing…

First, starting from within, I resolve to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as exercise more often; I never make a resolution to lose weight. I will continue to be kind hearted but set boundaries. I resolve to adopt a resilient attitude and not let malicious words hurt me. I will keep a stiff upper lip while remaining compassionate. I resolve to practice forgiveness and hope to be forgiven in return. I will concentrate on my loved ones and furbabies, not those that I barely tolerate. I will strive to be a ray of sunshine, but I shall scream when faced with adversity because a good loud yell is sometimes the answer to challenges. I intend to pray even more and trust God’s promises.

Resolve to Resist

I resolve to prioritize self care in the coming months because self care is not selfish, it is imperative as we face the stressful and frightening times ahead with a second term of Trump. I have not forgot his first term and the problems that are still arising four years later due to his mismanagement of the COVID-19 pandemic and building of the border wall, just to name a couple of his horrific faux pas. We must move forward, soldier on, difficult though it may seem. Here are my resolutions for 2025:

  1. I resolve again to never call Donald Trump, “President”.
  2. I resolve again to never call Melania Trump, “First Lady” because she is no lady.
  3. I resolve to resist at every opportunity.
  4. I resolve to wear pearls daily, and Chucks for Kamala Harris often, not just on “Inauguration Day”.
  5. I resolve to take a stand for human rights, because, “when we fight, we win”…
  6. I resolve to stand against racism.
  7. I resolve to take a stand for women’s rights.
  8. I resolve to take a stand for LGBTQ rights.
  9. I resolve to take a stand for dreamers’ rights.
  10. I resolve to take a stand for immigrants rights, because, “when we fight, we win”…
  11. I resolve to take a stand for our democracy.
  12. I resolve to take a stand against dictators.
  13. I resolve to take a strong stand against Donald Trump and JD Vance.
  14. I resolve that I will post and write against the Republican extremist regime.
  15. I resolve to join in peaceful protests against Trump and his minions, because, “when we fight, we win”…
  16. I resolve to be a light in the darkness that threatens our freedom.
  17. I resolve to put my faith in God, not in an anti-Christ like Donald Trump.
  18. I resolve to stop doing business with those supporting MAGA conservatives.
  19. I resolve to resist Elon Musk and all the others that are pulling Trump’s strings.
  20. I resolve to continue to question the election results, because, “when we fight, we win”…
  21. I resolve to also continue to question the alleged “assassination” attempts on Donald Trump in Butler PA and the golf course.
  22. I resolve to vote for Democrats to take back the house and Senate in 2026.
  23. I resolve to say, “I told you so”, to those that voted for Trump when food prices don’t go down and tariffs make prices unaffordable.
  24. I resolve to take a stand against Putin and all the dictators worldwide.
  25. My new years resolutions for 2025 must include resisting Project 2025, because, “when we fight, we win”…

Stay Strong and Positive

Let’s face the coming days ahead with optimism, building each other up, not tearing each other down. I will face the year embracing self love and trusting my heavenly Father.

I dedicate this article to a true man of God and a sincere humanitarian, President Jimmy Carter.  I had the extreme pleasure of seeing him in person twice, and the humble honor of him being the first person I ever voted for. Rest in peace to a real servant of the people…

 

A Woman of a Certain Age: Political Edition

A Woman of a Certain Age :

                      The Political Edition…

 

A Woman of a Certain Age:

                     The Political Edition…

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1. If you campaigned for Shirley Chisholm, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you know who Shirley Chisholm is…
  3. If you brought a folding chair to the table…
  4. If you campaigned for Mondale/Ferrara…
  5. If you’re not going back
  6. If you voted against Reaganomics…
  7. If you know what Reaganomics is,  just think “trickle down.”
  8. If you think President Biden is a hottie…
  9. If you think Donald Trump is a hottie, ewwwww – you actually need a comprehensive eye exam, at the very least…
  10. If you’re not going back…
  11. If you stood on street corners in the sun and rain to fight for ERA, reproductive freedom, going to bat for girls in sports…
  12. If despite your aches and pains, you are still willing to stand on street corners in the sun and rain again to fight for ERA, reproductive freedom, and girls/women in sports…
  13. If you can remember when women couldn’t get credit in their own names…
  14. If you voted for Jimmy Carter…
  15. If you’re not going back…
  16. If you subscribed to Ms. Magazine…
  17. If you know who Gloria Steinem is…
  18. If you’re old enough to be JD Vance‘s mother or grandmother, but glad you aren’t…
  19. If you thought we would finally see a women President after years of fighting for a female when Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris gave it their all…
  20. If you’re not going back…
  21. If you want your daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters to have equality and inclusion…
  22. If you quote Eleanor Roosevelt, Roslyn Carter, or Jackie Kennedy Onassis…
  23. If you think Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone…
  24. If you remember that awful day in Dallas when President John Kennedy was assassinated…
  25. If you’re not going back…
  26. If you were a founding member of NOW…
  27. If you remember Watergate…
  28. If ever wore a POW/MIA bracelet…
  29. If you are a “childless cat lady”…
  30. If you have ever been barefoot and pregnant, but your daughters and granddaughters are wearing shoes because you fought for freedom…
  31. If you ever declared, “we are young, good looking, we’ll be there”, and you’re empowered because you were there…
  32. If you’re not going back…
  33. If you attended Woodstock or Live Aid…
  34. If you participated in Hands Across America…
  35. If you never joined a protest in your youth but felt compelled to do so during Trump’s original term, please do so again…
  36. If you campaigned against the swimsuit competition in the Miss America pageant…
  37. If you’re not going back…
  38. If you supported Vanessa Williams when the scandal broke…
  39. If you thought Party Hearst might have possibly been not guilty…
  40. If you feel “Hell no, we won’t go” bubbling from your soul, because we are “NOT GOING BACK”…

And What About Bigfoot?

And What About Bigfoot?

Are the sightings real or manufactured?

Bigfoot is a legend in the Pacific Northwest. A similar creature has been seen around the world and goes by a variety of names.

 

Is Bigfoot Real or Manufactured?

By D.S. Mitchell

A NW Childhood

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest so I’ve been hearing about Bigfoot since I was a kid along with the legend of the notorious skyjacker, D.B. Cooper. More than most other stories these two have ignited the imaginations of people, not just in my area, but all over the world. As far as D.B. Cooper goes, I think it was the boldness of the crime and the fact that he got away with a bunch of cash and was never caught. An amazing 20th century story of a man who seemingly beat the system.

Mysterious Creatures

Bigfoot, a legendary half man half ape creature is, I believe, more about humanities need to believe in magic and the mysteries of the unknown. I think it’s the same reason conspiracy theories are so popular.  Much like Scotland’s Loch Ness Monster, there is not a single iota of evidence showing that Bigfoot or Nessie are real. No bodies, no bones, no hair, no skin, no DNA; nothing, absolutely nothing, except a few giant footprints and a couple cheezy photos and a grainy video.

Basic Biology

From basic biology it seems that if a population were large enough to propagate it is unlikely, considering their enormous size, that any of these creatures could go undiscovered by scientists, certainly not any band or group of them. I would say the whole thing is impossible. However, many people are fascinated by the possibility of a mythic creature, living wild and free in many isolated parts of the world. Jane Goodall famed anthropologist and conservationist, once said of Bigfoot, “I want to believe.”

Footprints in the Mud

On August 27, 1958 a logging company employee, Jerry Crew, reported having found gigantic foot prints in the mud close to Bluff Creek in northern California while he was clearing brush and stumps near the creek. Several of Jerry’s co-workers also reported seeing mammoth footprints in the area. The news of “Bigfoot” was published in the Sunday edition of the Humboldt Times and the phenomenon known as Bigfoot was born.

Flash Forward

In 2002 one of Crew’s co-workers, a fellow named Ray Wallace, died at the age of 84. It was then that his children revealed he had carved a pair of giant wooden feet and had stomped around the Bluff Creek area leaving the mysterious tracks way back in 1958. “It was just a joke,” they told the press. When news of the hoax hit the airwaves Bigfoot believers barely batted an eye. Despite pranks, hoaxes, and other shenanigans the enthusiasts will not be dissuaded. In fact, there is more interest today than ever before.

One Big Guy  

The most famous suspected hoax came nearly ten years after Wallace’s 1958 prank. Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin produced a 59 second film showing a huge ape like creature walking around the Bluff Creek site identified in 1958. The 1967 film was later identified as a hoax when costume manufacturer, Philip Morris, claimed he had sold Patterson the gorilla suit and even introduced the overly large man who had tromped around in the costume for the camera, to the press.

Hoaxes and Tall Tales

A  prospector named Albert Ostman came forward in the midst of the excitement and told a hair raising story of being abducted from his campsite and forced to live with a Bigfoot family for six days until he escaped. Then in 2008, two Georgia men announced they had found the corpse of a Bigfoot in the Georgia mountains, but after a media frenzy it was discovered the men had bought a Bigfoot costume and filled it with road kill and animal entrails. It seems that the Bigfoot legend is fertile soil for pranksters and scammers.

Conclusion

There is even a Bigfoot Field Research Organization (BFRO) that keeps records of Bigfoot sightings around the United States. There are more than 5,000 “credible” Bigfoot sightings from every state except Hawaii. More than a third of those sightings coming from the Pacific Northwest. Serious researchers plotted Bigfoot sightings and found they correlated roughly to the American black bear’s habitat. Black bears can look frightfully tall and humanlike, it was noted, when standing upright on their back legs. Interesting theory, but most people ignore the science because they want to believe, just like Jane Goodall, that Bigfoot is real.

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

Cate has been going through her list of resolutions for 2024. Enjoy the fun.

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

By Cate Rees-Hessel 

Editor: At the beginning of each year many of us examine our lives and in many cases decide we need to make some changes; thus the New Year’s Resolution List.  So with that said, here are Cate’s 2024’s worst New Year’s Resolutions.  

  1. Resolving AGAIN to lose weight – this is the most common resolution. It lasts until maybe mid-January most of the time. I no longer bother to resolve to do this, I just resolve to eat healthy, stay hydrated, and exercise.
  2. Resolving to join a gym but never visiting there – canceling can be a major hassle.
  3. Resolving to get a permanent eyeliner and lip liner tattoo. Nope. I’ve resolved to get up ten minutes earlier in the morning to line my eyes and  sometimes I  even skip the lip liner.
  4. Resolving to get plastic surgery or Botox in order to appear younger. I instead will embrace the beauty of aging.
  5. Resolving to clean out your closets, ridding yourself of any and all junk. A good idea but overwhelming if you decide to do it all at once – try doing it in smaller sections.
  6. Resolving to never, ever, ever again, drink, soda, alcohol, or expensive coffee beverages. Let’s face it, not going to happen – just remember moderation is the key here.
  7. Resolving to only drink diet soda. Are you aware of the chemicals in those?
  8. Resolving to play the lottery. Don’t gamble on this one – just start a savings account instead.
  9. Resolving to give your boss a piece of your mind – this is the same as resolving to join the unemployment line.
  10. Resolving to be adventurous. Skinny dipping in winter, bungee jumping over a frozen lake, twerking in public – this is called stupidity.
  11. Resolving to accept as many blind dates as you can – this is also called stupidity.
  12. Resolving to drunk text your ex on New Year’s Eve or maybe Valentine’s Day – this is called beyond stupidity.
  13. Resolving to stop reading the labels at the grocery store. Since the majority of boxed, canned, frozen, and even alleged fresh foods are GMO these days, this is not a wise resolution. Preservatives, artificial colors, and the like don’t make for a happy New Year, either.
  14. Resolving to start jogging 5 miles a day. No, just no – start slow and stay safe. Maybe a walk around the block today and two blocks tomorrow.
  15. Resolving to skip COVID vaccine boosters. You will have plenty of time to read the books you are resolving to read while you’re in quarantine, presuming you are not in a hospital on a ventilator. Whatever you do, don’t binge watch the last six seasons of the “The Apprentice” – you are already sick.
  16. Resolving to dance like nobody is watching in front of a window – no, nope, not good-somebody is always watching.
  17. Resolving to give that creepy date a second chance; after all Valentine’s Day comes shortly after New Year’s. I think not – this won’t end well; creeps just get creepier.
  18. Resolving to conquer your fear of heights by taking flying lessons or trying a zip line. My fear is that this too will not end well.
  19. Resolving to invest half of your paycheck in cryptocurrency. You may want to rethink this one, because the last I heard all those hot cryptocurrency guru’s are serving 99 to life.
  20. Resolving to take pickleball lessons, learning to play the tuba, or enrolling in a circus arts course at the community college- think these over before you shell out any money. I think you’d be alright with the pickleball classes, but I’d definitely forget the tuba training and the high wire act.
  21. Resolving to be a do it yourself plumber – once again, this can’t end well.
  22. Resolving to vote Republican. Don’t go there – ever… No, not ever.
  23. Resolving to buy a boxed set of “The Apprentice” on clearance at Walmart and binge watch it. First of all, why would anyone do such a thing and secondly, why are all those lousy old videos still around? Because they’re lousy of course.
  24. Resolving to never again attend a multi-tiered market party no matter the hype, to find out why, see below.

Continue reading

Christmas Short Story


SNATCHING SANTA

The age old battle of good vs evil played out at Christmas

SNATCHING SANTA

Editor’s Note: I wrote this short story a couple years ago and have reprinted it on my website every year since. If you haven’t read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you have read it; read it a again. Happy Holidays.

By D. S. Mitchell

It was a small noise that woke Santa. Something out of place in the middle of the night. He lay in the dark, wondering if he’d imagined, or possibly dreamt the sound. Mary Claus slept by his side, her steady breathing the only sound in their darkened bedroom.

“There it was again,” he said under his breath.

This time it seemed to be at the back of the house. It was the sound of feet on gravel, a noise that wouldn’t be noticed during daylight hours, but seemed magnified by the darkness. It was close to 3:00 am. He worried that a sneak thief might be trying to break into his toy shop.

The suddenness of the event shocked him. The front and back door were simultaneously kicked in, and several men rushed through the battered doors into the house. The sound of polished boots on hardwood floors echoed down the halls. Mrs. Claus gasped as they both sat upright. Santa started to get out of bed, but the light came on before his foot hit the floor.

Two men armed with automatic weapons stood in the doorway, blocking any possible escape. The taller of the two men took in the room in a glance before lowering his eyes to the bed. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his weapon directly at Santa.

“What do you want?” Santa demanded.

“Shut up,” was his answer.

The weapon remained on its target and the tall man warmed the trigger with an agitated finger before saying, “Get dressed old man, you’re coming with us.”

Santa could see the shadows of several men moving about the house, the intruders opening closets, drawers, and doors. Mrs. Claus screamed. Santa hushed her with a hug and whispered reassurances.

“I said get your ass out of bed, Chubby.”

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Just A Few Things To Love About America

Just A Few Things To Love About America

25 things to love about America

Just A Few Things To Love About America

By D. S. Mitchell

I have been on a hair pulling rant for the last 48 hours.  I recognize that. I am taking off my Calamity Politics Editor’s cap, and putting on a ball cap, and getting the hell out of this office. The blogger’s life is a good life, most of the time. Sometimes, however, U.S. politics and political rhetoric can just sap the energy from a person, no matter how earnest their intent.

So, let’s take time, lighten up, smoke one and check out, ‘Just a Few Things To Love about America.’ These strange bits of illumination were partly supplied by Bowers’ and Gottlieb’s amazing book ‘1,000 Things To Love About America.’  Although I have used some of their text,  I have changed the numbering.

 

1.) Monopoly: Life’s lessons on a board.  Stay out of jail, do community service, pay your bills, amass real estate wealth, and collect your rents.  Monopoly has sold more than 200 million games in 37 languages.  It is without a doubt, the most popular board game in the world. It was created in 1934 at the depths of the depression by Charles B. Darrow of Germantown, PA.  He originally marketed his homemade copies of the game at a Philadelphia, PA toy store. In 1935 Parker Brothers bought the game.  We all have our favorite properties, and our favorite pieces.  Monopoly is part of my childhood memories and consumed many rainy afternoons.  The properties are named for locations in Atlantic City.  The fundamental lesson to take from Monopoly, is that the guy with the most money wins.

2) The Indy 500: This mega event held every Memorial Day is probably the most famous and certainly the largest racing extravaganza in the world, entertaining an estimated 400,000 fans each year at the track, and millions more on television. The event, held in Indianapolis, Indiana started in 1911.  Fans watch 33 cars roar around the Indianapolis Speedway for 500 miles to the cheers of enthralled onlookers.

3.) Duct Tape: Ties that bind.  First developed during WWII for heating and air conditioning ducts. It is reported to have quickly gained a following and was used to seal ammunition cases, repair jeeps, weapons and planes.  This super strong, cheap vinyl, fabric-reinforced, pressure-sensitive tape is a staple at my house and most other American households.  I’ve read people join duct tape clubs and make wallets and clothing.  Hmmm.  I’m good, until people start to wear it.

4.) Window Screens: First line of defense against insects. This ultra easy non-polluting system, made of mesh wire stretched over a metal or wooden frame, keeps bugs outside.  What’s amazing is that the rest of the world has yet to embrace this low-tech breakthrough.

5.) Bigfoot: Also known as Sasquatch, the creature roams the rugged back country of the Pacific Northwest.  Reportedly the creatures are big, hairy, humanoid, avoid human contact and smell extremely bad.

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Another, I Saw it on the Internet

Another, I Saw it on the Internet

Image

I Saw it on the Internet

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Picture Perfect

A philosopher once said, ” A picture is worth a thousand words.” Well, the X prez is a liar, a thief, and a fraud; and here’s pictures to prove it. The man who tried to topple the U.S. government in 2020 is still at it. My question is why do so many MAGA followers believe anything this criminal narcissist says? I can almost understand why politicians like Cruz, Graham, and Hawley, who benefit both financially and politically, continue to cling to Trump’s coattails. What I don’t understand, however, is how so many common sense Americans have been hornswoggled  into believing this fat toad, with his elevator lifts, his mango makeup,  and his self-aggrandizing rhetoric, is working for them. Everything Trump stands for is in sharp contrast to what the average American needs; simple things like, work safety, clean water, safe food and drugs, ethical government, affordable health care, a strong social safety net, equal rights for all. So what is it? What is the hook that keeps the minions swimming with him?

Slurping Kool-Aid

“It’s a cult,”  the commentators are all saying. Whatever it is the folks, those of us who have not been slurping the Kool-Aid need to beat this authoritarian movement into submission. Despite the obvious inequities of the Electoral College process, partisan gerrymandering, and **third party candidates supported by right wing interests, the many can prevail in this battle, but it won’t be easy. I do not want to see young women forced to bear dead or unwanted babies, I do not want the U.S. military shooting U.S. citizens on U.S. streets, I do not want Christian leaders behaving like the ayatollah’s of Iran, I do not want Social Security or Medicare to end, and I most definitely do not want a phony TV huckster playing king at the head of the U.S. government.

Big Country

Talk to people; remind them of the real issues, not the political BS; such as: bodily autonomy, common sense gun control, ethics in government, the social safety net, religious freedom, LGBTQ+ rights, separation of church and state, national health care, housing the unhoused. I could go on. The list is long but we are a big country and our population has significant needs. Truthfully, in a country of 365,000,000 people and the world’s largest GDP the suggestion of “small government” is an outdated and ridiculous idea. When you hear that phrase think, “service for me and not for thee.” What really the Republicans are saying with the ridiculous notion of ‘small government,’ in this day and age, is we’ll pay for my needs and not yours. Everyone has a need, not just the few; and the federal government has a moral obligation to do the most, for the most. with our tax dollars, including collecting those tax dollars from the wealthy not just the poor.

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