Category: Holidays

Black History Month May Be Over, But Black History Never Is . . .

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Black History Month May Be Over, But Black History Never Is…

Black History Month celebrates the contribution of black citizens to world culture

Black History Month May Be Over, But Black History Never Is…

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

A Dark Past and Present

We celebrate Black History, annually each February. During the month we reflect, appreciate, and acknowledge people of color and their rich history. In 2023 the Black History theme was “Black Resistance,” focusing on the struggle African Americans have endured, both in the past and continuing today. Oppression, injustice, repression, racism, exploitation, suppression, maltreatment, and disadvantage are still shockingly present in today’s society. White privilege is regretfully, appallingly alive within the ultra-conservative community. We may have moved passed black performers using different hotels, restaurants, and restrooms during artistic tours but a startling number of atrocities still continue to occur.

Art for Artists Sake

The 2024 Black History Month theme was “African Americans and the Arts. This year’s theme was a different vibe than previous years but the message was equally important – we need to value the arts and encourage these great artists to thrive. The focus this year has been the celebration of the incredible black artists that have enriched our lives over the years through classic performances on the stage, screen, radio, television, music and concert. Dramatic and creative professionals in the spotlight and the many more working hard behind the scenes compose the vast number of Black artists we salute. We make every effort to not just celebrate those in the mainstream of culture but the large number of less well known but equally talented individuals that comprise this community. Black History month may be coming to a close for another year but African history in the arts lives on.

Black Makes Beauty

2024 was also the 18th year of the UNI African American Read-In. The Read-In was once again a significant part of  Black History Month activities. To broaden participation many activities occurred on line for students. Theaters, schools, and libraries across the country held special events to honor Black artists and artisans during the month by reading aloud of many of the great books, plays, and poems of black artists.

Life Ain’t Over Yet

Celebration of Black history should be 365 days a year, not just one month. Respect and equality, not just in the arts but in all areas of life. Housing discrimination still exists,  mortgage and rental applications being denied disproportionately, and higher interest rates in African American communities, as do food deserts, with grocery stores that offer fresh, healthy choices avoiding opening or continuing operations in communities of color.

Dreamers

Activists such Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr. and John Lewis fought decades ago for civil rights that are still being denied today. Black pioneers in the arts, such as Nina Simone (whose birthday is appropriately February 21st ), Maurice White, Josephine Baker, and Mahalia Jackson (to name just a few) were very instrumental in paving the way for future artists to be treated with dignity. As Dr. King said in his “I Have a Dream” speech, “With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”  And Mahalia Jackson sang, “If I can help somebody, as I travel along; if I can help somebody, with a word or song…” – she broke significant ground for the African-American musicians who followed.

Labor On

2025’s Black History Month theme, will be “African Americans and Labor,” celebrating, recognizing, and highlighting the very compelling impact of Black workers on American society.  We need to draw attention to their productivity with the broadest outlook, providing versatility and intuitiveness, a vision of Black culture throughout the ages.

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

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2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

Cate has been going through her list of resolutions for 2024. Enjoy the fun.

2024’s Worst New Year’s Resolutions

By Cate Rees-Hessel 

Editor: At the beginning of each year many of us examine our lives and in many cases decide we need to make some changes; thus the New Year’s Resolution List.  So with that said, here are Cate’s 2024’s worst New Year’s Resolutions.  

  1. Resolving AGAIN to lose weight – this is the most common resolution. It lasts until maybe mid-January most of the time. I no longer bother to resolve to do this, I just resolve to eat healthy, stay hydrated, and exercise.
  2. Resolving to join a gym but never visiting there – canceling can be a major hassle.
  3. Resolving to get a permanent eyeliner and lip liner tattoo. Nope. I’ve resolved to get up ten minutes earlier in the morning to line my eyes and  sometimes I  even skip the lip liner.
  4. Resolving to get plastic surgery or Botox in order to appear younger. I instead will embrace the beauty of aging.
  5. Resolving to clean out your closets, ridding yourself of any and all junk. A good idea but overwhelming if you decide to do it all at once – try doing it in smaller sections.
  6. Resolving to never, ever, ever again, drink, soda, alcohol, or expensive coffee beverages. Let’s face it, not going to happen – just remember moderation is the key here.
  7. Resolving to only drink diet soda. Are you aware of the chemicals in those?
  8. Resolving to play the lottery. Don’t gamble on this one – just start a savings account instead.
  9. Resolving to give your boss a piece of your mind – this is the same as resolving to join the unemployment line.
  10. Resolving to be adventurous. Skinny dipping in winter, bungee jumping over a frozen lake, twerking in public – this is called stupidity.
  11. Resolving to accept as many blind dates as you can – this is also called stupidity.
  12. Resolving to drunk text your ex on New Year’s Eve or maybe Valentine’s Day – this is called beyond stupidity.
  13. Resolving to stop reading the labels at the grocery store. Since the majority of boxed, canned, frozen, and even alleged fresh foods are GMO these days, this is not a wise resolution. Preservatives, artificial colors, and the like don’t make for a happy New Year, either.
  14. Resolving to start jogging 5 miles a day. No, just no – start slow and stay safe. Maybe a walk around the block today and two blocks tomorrow.
  15. Resolving to skip COVID vaccine boosters. You will have plenty of time to read the books you are resolving to read while you’re in quarantine, presuming you are not in a hospital on a ventilator. Whatever you do, don’t binge watch the last six seasons of the “The Apprentice” – you are already sick.
  16. Resolving to dance like nobody is watching in front of a window – no, nope, not good-somebody is always watching.
  17. Resolving to give that creepy date a second chance; after all Valentine’s Day comes shortly after New Year’s. I think not – this won’t end well; creeps just get creepier.
  18. Resolving to conquer your fear of heights by taking flying lessons or trying a zip line. My fear is that this too will not end well.
  19. Resolving to invest half of your paycheck in cryptocurrency. You may want to rethink this one, because the last I heard all those hot cryptocurrency guru’s are serving 99 to life.
  20. Resolving to take pickleball lessons, learning to play the tuba, or enrolling in a circus arts course at the community college- think these over before you shell out any money. I think you’d be alright with the pickleball classes, but I’d definitely forget the tuba training and the high wire act.
  21. Resolving to be a do it yourself plumber – once again, this can’t end well.
  22. Resolving to vote Republican. Don’t go there – ever… No, not ever.
  23. Resolving to buy a boxed set of “The Apprentice” on clearance at Walmart and binge watch it. First of all, why would anyone do such a thing and secondly, why are all those lousy old videos still around? Because they’re lousy of course.
  24. Resolving to never again attend a multi-tiered market party no matter the hype, to find out why, see below.

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Festive Food For Thought

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Festive Food for Thought

Pumpkins spice and peppermint sticks every where you look.

Festive Food for Thought

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

Food for Thought

I hope everyone is having a joyous holiday season, shopping and preparing your favorite foods. Unlike many people, I enjoy grocery shopping; during a recent trip to the market I discovered some unusual edibles for the festive table. Imagine, if you can; unicorn pudding, Oreo and Warhead candy canes, sweet cinnamon Kit-Kats, white peppermint Twinkies, “Wintermint DingDongs” with ice blue filling, a reindeer-faced slice and bake cookie set complete with antlers and a red nose. There was a whole clearance aisle full of all things pumpkin spice, and a large selection of goods inspired by the movie “Frozen” – to this I say “Let It Go”…

Bake Someone Happy…

I admit it, I’m ready to bring back the Christmas’s of my childhood. Let ‘s bring back Christmas cookies made from scratch, and Jiffy Pop for our Christmas special viewing party snacks. We actually had to wait for our favorite programs like “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, “Frosty the Snowman”, and “Rodgers and Hammerstein ‘s Cinderella”. These were actual classic TV shows, not a DVD in a player, or streaming any time I wanted to see it. These were a big deal. The networks advertised them for a month before the holiday. We’d invite friends over to watch these timeless holiday shows, because they were only shown once a year. I am a Hallmark movie kind of girl, but I miss the anticipation of those annual events.

Mmmmm, no…

We baked cupcakes, and set out a bowl of M & M ‘s – not jalapeno, thai coconut, coffee, hazelnut, caramel, crispy honeycomb, English toffee, chocolate marshmallow, white chocolate peppermint, white pumpkin pie, milk chocolate glow-in-the-dark, or even mint – we had plain and peanut, still my favorites. Hot chocolate was made with cow’s milk and the flavor was chocolate, with maybe a few marshmallows thrown in, and a dollop of Ready-Whip. There was no pumpkin spice, or peppermint anywhere is sight.

Snow Joke

We didn’t ask the musical question, “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” We just went out and built one, complete with carrot nose, lumps of coal for the eyes, and a tattered plaid scarf. Even the holiday commercials on television were festive; my favorite was always the Norelco shaver gliding over the white hills like a snowmobile, with the catch phrase, “even our name says Merry Christmas”.

“Pop”-ular Games

The toys under our trees both delighted and educated – I was the Julia Child of lightbulb cuisine; our “notebook/tablet” was an Etch-A-Sketch – stairways up, stairways down, and stacked boxes. We had Lite-Brites, Barrels of Monkeys, Spirographs, Bride Barbies, Tiddlywinks, and the game Trouble with the Pop-O-Matic – we thought that was cutting edge technology. Some of my favorites were Suzy Cute in her yellow plastic crib, Chatty Cathy, the Dawn doll’ s beauty pageant and beauty salon, Mrs. Beasley, and of course, I had a Swingy doll (mine was decked out in pink and orange) – (batteries not included).

Don’t Sweat(er) It…

Life was slower-paced, and we made our own fun and beautiful memories; we didn’t feature “ugly” Christmas sweaters, but wore green velvet dresses with red ribbons in our hair and shiny black Mary Janes on our feet. Christmas balls went on the tree, not on our apparel, and the coffee table candy dish was filled with ribbon hard candies. I wish you and all those you love a holiday season to remember; Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and may your New Year arrive in style…

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

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Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

While I love classy, my husband is attached to tacky.

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

New Family Traditions

I like classic, classy things; my husband, on the other hand adores the tacky. Currently, he  is in a decorating frenzy, and that scares me. As we prepare to celebrate, who can forget decorations? I sometimes wish my other half would. Don’t get me wrong, I love a tasteful wreath on the door and a holly berry candle on the mantle, and this year, thanks to my recent DNA test, we will be including a menorah along with the family creche, however, my other half is not quite a Clinton Kelly when it comes to holiday embellishment.

Another Holiday Move

I look up from a Hallmark Christmas movie, and to my horror I see my spouse, attired in a Chicago Cubs Santa hat and a flashing Christmas tree tie, hanging jingle bells on the bathroom doorknob. Apparently, there are no safe places from his holiday mania. I cautiously enter the powder room, which has been transformed into a winter wonderland, as in I wonder what the heck happened to my bathroom.

Hang Up the Mistletoe…

Gone are the lovely blue lace-edged fingertip towels and the matching ceramic soap pump. Replacing these tasteful items are Hallmark’s Jolly in the John – really? My husband loves this little guy as much as he loves his Mini – and joining good ol’ Jolly is his pet reindeer, another Hallmark creation, with a roll of toilet paper decorating one of his antlers. Rounding out the tacky trio is Mr. John’s “other half”, a plastic snowwoman soap pump.

And the Toilet Seat

A purple garland adorns the shower curtain rod, and the shell toilet seat is now covered with a giant Santa face, gloved hands covering his eyes (do you blame him?). My attractive celery green with chocolate brown polka-dots bathrobe has been replaced with a latch hook creation of eight tiny reindeer, a rather unfortunate garage sale find. I turn to flee this holiday horror to find my other half nailing mistletoe above the necessary room door.

Merry Migraine!

I resume watching the previously interrupted holiday-inspired film, I take a fortifying sip of my mocha latte as my husband makes his way to the kitchen with a devilish glint in his eye, our jingle bell collared puggle Sasha in tow. My better (?) half is carrying a pair of Rudolph pot holders and a Grinch tea towel. What desecration could he be up to? Visions of plastic glitter sugar plums strung on the stove dance in my head, threatening a migraine. Did I just see our cat Prada wearing kitty-sized elf ears? Over the years my husband has acquired a plethora of kitschy Christmas items, right down to, cover your eyes, glow in the dark snowman boxer shorts, which he actually wears to bed. Does murdering a spouse still rate a life sentence?

Jolly in the John

As I said, one of his favorite pieces of seasonal décor is Hallmark’s “Jolly in the John”; normally I’m a Hallmark kind of girl: love the movies, cards, and ornaments, but I have yet to make friends with good ol’ “Jolly”. A plastic snowman holding a plunger who sings the potty song “Who’s Gotta’ Go”, and informs bathroom visitors they “look a little flush”; in my opinion, he’s gotta’ go. My spouse proudly places him atop the toilet tank, accompanied by his “snowwife”, a plastic lotion dispenser in the shape of a snowwoman, and their beloved pet, another Hallmark creation, a reindeer adorned with a roll of toilet paper on one antler. This “charming” trio has replaced my tasteful glass vase, containing vintage gold and silver Christmas balls.

A Special (Dis)appearance

Ironically, strange things have befallen Jolly – he keeps coming up missing, and stranger still, it only occurs when my hubby isn’t home. I have no idea how Jolly ended up in the bushes-apparently he must have fallen out of the window. I didn’t realize our dog could throw up the sash; lucky for us, our neighbor found him and brought him to our door. My other half then found him in the trash can-I have no idea how he got there, either. He was lovingly washed down and put back and in his place of honor, behind the throne.

Pack It In

Most recently, Jolly turned up at the local thrift store, buried in a box of old clothes I had donated. Lucky for us, that same helpful neighbor volunteers at the resale shop. My husband happened to be in there seeking out more tacky, I mean whimsical, holiday decorations, so the snowman has returned home. I guess I just have to accept that good ol’ Jolly is my husband’s way of decorating. We have certainly decked the halls with a unique bevy of holiday décor, but always in the theme of “peace on earth and goodwill toward men”; yes, Virginia, I married a man with style…

 

Christmas Short Story

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SNATCHING SANTA

The age old battle of good vs evil played out at Christmas

SNATCHING SANTA

Editor’s Note: I wrote this short story a couple years ago and have reprinted it on my website every year since. If you haven’t read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you have read it; read it a again. Happy Holidays.

By D. S. Mitchell

It was a small noise that woke Santa. Something out of place in the middle of the night. He lay in the dark, wondering if he’d imagined, or possibly dreamt the sound. Mary Claus slept by his side, her steady breathing the only sound in their darkened bedroom.

“There it was again,” he said under his breath.

This time it seemed to be at the back of the house. It was the sound of feet on gravel, a noise that wouldn’t be noticed during daylight hours, but seemed magnified by the darkness. It was close to 3:00 am. He worried that a sneak thief might be trying to break into his toy shop.

The suddenness of the event shocked him. The front and back door were simultaneously kicked in, and several men rushed through the battered doors into the house. The sound of polished boots on hardwood floors echoed down the halls. Mrs. Claus gasped as they both sat upright. Santa started to get out of bed, but the light came on before his foot hit the floor.

Two men armed with automatic weapons stood in the doorway, blocking any possible escape. The taller of the two men took in the room in a glance before lowering his eyes to the bed. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his weapon directly at Santa.

“What do you want?” Santa demanded.

“Shut up,” was his answer.

The weapon remained on its target and the tall man warmed the trigger with an agitated finger before saying, “Get dressed old man, you’re coming with us.”

Santa could see the shadows of several men moving about the house, the intruders opening closets, drawers, and doors. Mrs. Claus screamed. Santa hushed her with a hug and whispered reassurances.

“I said get your ass out of bed, Chubby.”

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Honoring Giving Tuesday

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50 Ways to Give on Giving Tuesday

Giving Tuesdays

Giving Tuesday

By Anna Hessel with Wes Hessel

 

It’s Giving Tuesday – time to donate funds to organizations that we support, but also find ways of giving of ourselves and our time. Here are some unique ideas for ways to give back to the community:

  1. Take a plate of food, cookies, or a card to an elderly or disabled neighbor
  2. Drop some magazines or books at a local hospital for their waiting areas
  3. Offer to babysit so someone can holiday shop or run errands
  4. Watch the person a caregiver takes care of so they can get out for errands or have a little me time
  5. Drop a few dollars or spare change in a red kettle
  6. Call a friend or relative just to say hello
  7. Rake someone’s leaves
  8. Mow someone’s lawn
  9. Shovel someone’s drive or walkway
  10. Make some calls for your favorite political candidate(s)
  11. Start a postcard campaign for your favorite political organization
  12. Begin a petition to right a wrong
  13. Run for a local political office
  14. Mail cards to our service men and women
  15. Volunteer at a local animal shelter or your library
  16. Don’t forget Toys for Tots with a new unwrapped toy – every child deserves a toy for Christmas or Hanukkah
  17. Offer a ride to a neighbor that does not have access to a car or can’t drive
  18. Decorate an outdoor tree for Christmas
  19. Add some sparkle to someone’s day with a small gift just because
  20. Organize a sled race or set up a hot chocolate stand for charity
  21. Run an errand for someone
  22. Pay it forward in the drive-through (or inside line)
  23. Pull a child in a sled or throw a ball for them to catch
  24. Build a snowman with someone
  25. Use your expertise, be it professional or hobby, to benefit someone: a free haircut, manicure, house cleaning, legal advice
  26. Pass out free hug coupons, cookies, or homemade fudge in your office or neighborhood
  27. Freecycle or Trash Nothing something
  28. Foster or adopt a rescue animal
  29. Play fetch with a neighbor’s dog or catch with a neighbor kid
  30. Set up a feral cat box on your porch with hay, fresh water, and a small bowl of food
  31. Make homemade cards or tree ornaments to pass out
  32. Take an angel off the giving tree and buy a gift to brighten someone’s holiday
  33. Give someone a smile – it’s always free, and it might just make their day
  34. Make a nice lunch or dinner to surprise somebody
  35. Donate to a good pantry or little library
  36. Make time for loved ones, like coffee or a spa day together
  37. Take time for yourself because you can’t help anyone if you aren’t well yourself
  38. Post something cute on social media to brighten someone’s day
  39. Order a meal delivery for a friend as a surprise (just make sure someone is there to accept the delivery)
  40. Tip generously
  41. Help a neighbor decorate for the holidays
  42. Offer to do someone’s shopping, laundry, house cleaning, or cooking
  43. Drop flowers off at a retirement community or hospital
  44. Donate pet food to an animal shelter – they can use older towels and blankets, too
  45. Send thank you notes to first responders or government employees
  46. Volunteer as a court advocate
  47. Share someone’s good work on social media
  48. Take a minute to talk to a business’ manger or owner to complement an employee
  49. Make time to really listen to someone who needs a shoulder to cry on
  50. Be sure to thank those selfless community volunteers whenever you can

 

Please, Don’t Do It-Call 988

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Please, Don’t Do It – Call 988 for Help

In 2022, nearly 50,000 Americans took their own lives

Call 988-Help Is Out There

By D. S. Mitchell

Scary Statistics
More than 1 in 5 Americans suffer from a diagnosed mental illness and an unknown number of Americans suffer from an undiagnosed mental illness. World wide 80% of the population suffers from a mental illness at some point in their lives; some disorders as benign sounding as nail biting and bed wetting. The most familiar and the most catastrophic in their effects on the lives of sufferers are depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. In 2022, 49,449 Americans died by suicide with at least another 1.2 million Americans attempting suicide. Misunderstanding and negative attitudes toward mental illness breed misconceptions and prevent many tortured individuals from seeking help.
Holidays are Dangerous Times
The holidays are a particularly dangerous time for a suicidal person.  If you, or someone you know, are experiencing any of the following symptoms please seek help.
Symptoms of suicidal ideation include:
  • Talking about self harm, wanting to die, or kill oneself
  • Describing life as “hopeless” without purpose, being “trapped”
  • Talking about being a burden to others
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Noticeably agitated, anxious or reckless
  • Expressing feelings of unbearable pain
  • Extreme mood swings
  • Displays of rage
  • Plans to “get revenge”
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Withdrawing from normal relationships, isolation
  • A suicide plan
Call 988 For Help
Please, if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, or are showing any of the listed signals, tell someone.  Call for help. There is a new national suicide Hot Line. Call 988 if you are thinking about suicide. Life has so much to offer, explore it. Stick around. Suicide is permanent.

Thanksgiving, A Time Of Gratitude

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Thanksgiving, A Time Of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is a day of thanks and gratitude for all the blessings.

Thanksgiving, A Time Of Gratitude

By D. S. Mitchell

 

As we race through our daily lives it is easy to become angry and aggrieved; frequently blinding us to everyday ‘miracles’; the beauty of a child’s laugh, the comforting chirp of a robin’s song, or the magnificence of a sunrise.

Sometimes, being grateful is difficult, I often fail in the endeavor, but as a reminder to my friends, if you can’t feel that sense of fulfillment that gratitude provides, you will never find ‘happiness’ no matter how far and wide you search.

 

35 of the Worst Gifts to Give

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35 of the Worst Gifts to Give Gift giving can be hard, Anna Hessel says think before you buy that Weight Watchers membership for your friend, get an Amazon gift card instead.

35 of the Worst Gifts to Give

Editor’s Note: When Anna Hessel submitted the attached post, I hemmed and hawed a bit, complaining it was “too early” to start thinking of Thanksgiving, much less Christmas. I was reminded however, that in the good ol’ USA, Christmas never ends. As proof of that sentiment, when I went to my local Walmart the other day to pick up a Halloween pumpkin for carving, and a scary doorbell howler to terrorize the Trick or Treaters, I was confronted with reality; not only does Christmas never end in  America, but neither does any other holiday. Wally World had it all; from the giant red heart pillow, left over from Valentine’s Day, to the new pink Barbie Christmas ornaments. There seems to be no apology for the outright commercialization of every holiday in our capitalist society. That is not necessarily a bad thing, just a reflection of America’s unique take on holidays. We like ’em-and the date on the calendar seems to have nothing to do with the enjoyment of the season. Whatever that season may be. So, here is Anna’s suggestions for what NOT to gift this Christmas, or any other day, accompanied by a few of my comments.

 

By Anna Hessel and the Editor

35. The infamous lump of coal. (Editor: I don’t even know where you would find a lump of coal these days. Maybe Joe Manchin could find one for us).

34. A 2023 calendar. (Editor: Totally agree. Who wants to be reminded of the past when the future is racing towards us?)

33. Air freshener, disinfectant, oven or drain cleaner.

32. Weight Watchers gift card. (Editor: Unless of course, it was requested).

31. Deep wrinkle reducing cream with a spackle knife. (Editor: This one could end long established friendships).

30. Au Natural ‘Lumberjack’ cologne just for her.

29. A Limburger cheese scented candle. (Editor:  A cheese connoisseur may feel differently).

28. Deodorant (these really stink as gifts…)

27. A set of encyclopedias. (Editor: This means they were printed before the internet. Just take a minute to digest that…it would be like reading the Archives of Alexandria).

26. Antifungal anything. (Editor: This is definitely too personal).

25. A crochet pot holder crafted at your first crochet class. (Editor: Mine is framed, proudly taking up wall space in my kitchen).

24. A place setting of “china” from the Dollar General.

23. A VHS tape collection  of  embarrassing family moments.

22. An eight track tape of Herschel and the Hillbillies.

21. Socks of any color. (Editor: On this I must protest, I’ve gotten some darn cool socks at Christmas, that I still wear. I’ve got the cute fire fighters pair and the classic cars socks, and of course, the Santa socks, and many more).

20. Purple socks and a crushed velvet Donny Osmond cap. (Editor: I don’t know about this one. I’m kind of into the feel of crushed velvet-and Donny is okay in my book, and I’ve already told you how I feel about socks as gifts-and purple is one of my favorite colors).

19. A GMO foods gift basket.

18. A tie (apologies to my husband because I already bought him one…). (Editor: here again I protest, I’ve already stashed away several awesome ones for my honey).

17. A can of Simoniz. (Editor: I totally agree on this one-unless of course, it’s accompanied with a gift certificate to my favorite auto detailer).

16. A pickleball Ken doll.

15. A pickleball lesson gift certificate. (Editor: Anna, again, I must protest. Pickleball is the “new, great thing” in my little community and I wouldn’t mind learning how to play this outrageously fun looking sport- you can give me one of those gift certificates any day).

14. Artificial flavor favorites cookbook. (Editor: I agree, an abomination).

13. Nose hair trimmer, toenail clipper, ingrown toenail file, pimple popper, earwax remover, or any other gross grooming implement. (Editor: Ohhhh dear, I gave my Dad one of those really lovely grooming kits, in a fancy leather carrying case, just a couple years ago. He said, he liked it).

12. Anything pumpkin spice (don’t be tempted by the fact that the PS stuff is now in the clearance bin…).

11. Membership to the kale of the month club.

10. Dental floss, not even the peppermint flavored variety.

9. Last year’s re-gifted fruit cake. (Editor: I definitely agree you shouldn’t wait so long to re-gift the cake. Now, I’ve heard they have a long shelf life, but I’d recommend if you really want to re-gift the fruit cake you should do it no later than Valentine’s Day).

8. A bathroom wastebasket. (Editor: I agree this is definitely a personal choice item).

7. A toilet cleaning brush with matching plunger. (Editor: Definitely hovering on disgusting).

6. Name a cockroach after your loved one certificate (suitable for framing). (Editor: However, a framed certificate of a new star named after a loved one, might be fun.)

At some point you knew this was going to turn political. Just so you aren’t disappointed, here’s a few jabs at the former guy and his crew.

5. My Pillow. (Editor: I hear Mike Lindell needs the money; that’s a good reason not to buy one).

4. An autographed mug shot of the Donald. (Editor: I cringe at the thought).

3. Trumpy Bear. (Editor: Yes, it is a real thing and I’d stay away from it, far away from it, especially if you’re an attorney).

2. A slightly used red MAGA hat.

1. A Donald Trump head-Chia Pet style-with orange foliage growing out of its several orifices. (Editor: I understand there is  limited number of the heads, due to low interest in that guy).

 

12 EZ Tips To Lose 20 Pounds in Three Months

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12 Tips To Lose 20 Pounds in 3 Months

Take a few minutes and review 12 tips to help you lose 20 lbs in 3 months

12 EZ Tips To Lose 20 Pounds By Christmas

No Dieting Required, Just Wokeness

 

By D. S. Mitchell

Out of the File

I’m always cutting out articles or writing down tips I hear about weight loss, with the hope that I will eventually put one or two of the tips to some valuable use. LOL. Anyway, as I was cleaning out a storage box I found a file labeled “Weight Loss Tricks”.  I took  a few minutes and sorted through the notes, clippings, and articles in the file.  After sifting through at least 10 years of information I came away with a dozen super suggestions to help us drop 20 pounds by Christmas. I am writing this tips list on September 10, 2023. That’s 106 days, give or take, approximately 3 and 1/2 months, or 14 weeks. No matter how you look at it, the following suggestions should help you to lose an easy 1.5 pounds a week with just about zero effort. Several of the tips you’ve heard before, but the trick here is to wake up, pay attention to what you are putting in your mouth. I call it “woked” eating. Easy Peasy. Let’s get started.

Sit Down When You Eat  

This information has been confirmed in study after study, for at least the last two decades. People eat an incredible 5 times more when they are standing or on the go, such as eating in the car. Your brain does not register food you eat while moving. So, folks take a few minutes to sit down and engage with your food. Sitting down will allow you to be more conscious of flavor and aroma and the slow down will allow you time to experience the sensation of fullness.

Cut Out the Booze

I suggest you stop drinking anything but unsweetened coffee or tea, or water (flavored is fine). Quite seriously, alcohol can add a whole lot of sneaky calories. I call it the 5:00 o’clock sabotage. Stay clear of the sugary girlie cocktails. Here’s where size does matter, stick to the standard serving sizes: 12 oz for beer, 5 oz for wine and 1.5 oz for hard liquor.  No more than two drinks two times a week! Otherwise you are going to undermine your other valiant efforts.

Take a Walk, Take a Breath

The last thing you need when you are working on yourself (your weight loss in this case), is a whole lot of stress. Take it easy. Take those long slow breaths, drop that load you are carrying and “just breathe”. One of the things that let’s me drop the stress and take those deep relaxing breaths is to take a walk. Wow. Walking is your best friend, whether trying to lose weight or relieve the stress, take a hike; or at least a stroll around the neighborhood. Smile and greet other walkers. There is a real community out there, get off the couch and join the sneakers crowd. Smiling makes you feel good. The calorie burn is dependent on you; speed and distance the basic determinant. The average person burns somewhere between  200 and 350 calories per hour at a moderate pace. At an easy pace that’s about 3 miles an hour. To lose one pound, you need to cut 3,500 calories. If you want to lose one pound a week divide 3,500 calories by seven to get 500; that means you need to cut 500 calories a day overall.  If you walk for an hour, 5 days a week, you will burn  1,000 to 1,800 calories.  If you are like me, you knew all that, but had forgotten it.

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