Category: D. S. Mitchell

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Monarchs and Memories

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Monarchs and Memories

Monarch Butterfly

Monarchs and Memories

D. S. Mitchell

 

A Public Warning

Across his two terms, President Trump is responsible for removing protections from more than 100 million acres of public lands.  He has abolished safeguards on more than 86 million acres less than two years into his second term. Trump has slashed conservation agencies’ funding while purging land management jobs. Trump is putting beloved public lands and waterways across the country—and America’s conservation legacy—at risk of being permanently altered or destroyed. Do we really want oil rigs springing up around Yellowstone and Yosemite? I don’t think so, and if you agree, it is imperative we get this guy hog tied with congressional oversight. Please vote blue in the mid-terms.

Sharing Something Beautiful

With all that said, you might think today I would stoke up the fires on that story, but instead I’m going to discuss a lovely short essay, by Jennifer S. Kushnier. I originally saw it printed in one of those little books you see at Hallmark card stores. You know, the kind. They are usually really small and are filled with cool art, quotes, short stories or essays. Anyway, this little essay by Ms. Kushnier  reminded me of my childhood. When I was a kid, even in city neighborhoods there were plenty of vacant lots, some were quite big, really open undeveloped fields where beautiful things happened. Thank you Jennifer, your piece was lovely and brought back beautiful memories.

Butterflies by Jennifer S. Kushnier

Jennifer began her essay with the lines, “All kinds of wildflowers prospered there, from ivory Queen Anne’s lace and purple Clover, to yellow Buttercups and Black-eyed Susan’s, to burnt orange Indian Paintbrushes and those light-blue flowers that seem to be so rare these days. To this field came dozens of butterflies.”

Island Life

That little essay takes me to another time, a distant point in my childhood. When I too was very young. At that time my father managed a dairy farm on a picturesque island. Sauvie’s Island is an amazing piece of land caught between the Willamette River and the Columbia River in NW Oregon, about 20 miles west of Portland, Oregon. Most of the island is a designated wildlife refuge with a few farms, even today, in this busy industrialized time.

Protect What We Love

I can remember when the birds would take to the air, a sunny day went black. Today, on this protected island the sky will never again be so full of birds that the sky is black with their bounty. How long before the Monarch’s will be gone forever, and the Wood Duck a mere memory? I think it is imperative that we challenge the Trump Administration at every turn as they push their backward thinking fossil fuel agenda. It is dangerous for the environment. A threat to wildlife, a risk to our water supply. The gutting of the EPA could potentially poison everything we know and love. If you love the sight of a Monarch butterfly in flight, if you love the sound of a woodpecker, if you love the beauty of a Wood Duck floating on a pond, if you love the sight of an Eagle on the wing, you are not alone. Please, stand up, speak out, and stop the threat to all the wild places by the fossil fuel pushing madman.

***Thank you Jennifer S. Kushnier. I have tried to find you but I have not seen anything else you have written, but your little piece was just perfect.

Open Heart

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Open Heart

By D. S. Mitchell

Most regular readers of Calamity Politics know that I spent 40 years as an ICU nurse before I began writing sleazy novels and editing this website. The only reason I’m bringing up the subject of hospitals is that my son is undergoing open heart surgery at this very moment. Although I know doctor’s have been fine honing their skills in cardiothoracic surgery for close to 70 years I am still terrified for him. As we all know, when it’s you or one of your own, all stored knowledge and understanding of the mechanics of the situation fly out the window; at least in my case that’s what has happened. ‘OMG; he could die,’ my frenzied brain keeps repeating.

Me and his two adult children along with a circle of close friends are holding our collective breath waiting for news on his post surgical condition…finally after over 8 hours I get a text from my granddaughter who explains the surgeons told her the procedure(s) had all gone “great” and now it was 12 week of healing and rehab before he would be back to normal activities. Just like that. She told me he was on a vent and couldn’t talk; and added they would start weaning him off and by tomorrow he would be able to at least text me. I said a silent prayer of thanks and told her how much I appreciated the call.

Death has been hovering close recently making this recent emergency especially terrifying. My son’s beautiful and remarkable wife, Tracey, died of cancer in January; after 35 years of marriage. What a blow. We were all devastated and in fact, are still trying to find our emotional footing. The next shock came when one of our dearest friends, David L., was diagnosed with a brain tumor and died a month later. It’s been a tough year and it’s only half over; but my son’s prognosis sounds good and that is a big relief. I’m sick of bad news and I’m ready for some major healing.

 

First they Came for…

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First They Came for…

First They Came for…

 

By D. S. Mitchell

One of the most poignant and powerful pieces of prose ever written about silence, apathy and the end result of such inaction in the face of injustice was written by Luthern pastor, Martin Niemoller.  The piece was created from a collection of speeches written by Niemöller (1892–1984). In the 1920s and early 1930s, Niemoller supported many Nazi ideas and the right-wing political movement. But after Adolf Hitler came to power in 1933, Niemöller became an outspoken critic of Hitler’s interference in the Protestant Church. Niemoller spent the last eight years of Nazi rule, from 1937 to 1945, in a Nazi concentration camp.

The central message is that silence in the face of injustice makes us complicit. The words remind us of the importance of collective responsibility, emphasizing that an attack on any group’s rights is a threat to us all. The quotation expresses Niemöller’s belief that most Germans had been complicit through their silence in the Nazi imprisonment, persecution, and murder of millions of people. He felt this was especially true of the leaders of the Protestant churches.
First They Came
First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me
Silence is easy. Speaking out is tough. Do the right thing. Stand up for your neighbors and your community. People are being shot on the streets of America, by ICE.  The only thing that will stop Trump and Stephen Miller’s right wing agenda is us.

Volunteerism; The Art of Giving Back

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Volunteerism; The Art of Giving Back

Volunteerism; The Art of Giving Back

Editor: “Volunteering is an optional and freely chosen act of an individual or group giving their time and labor, for community service.” Wikipedia

D.S. Mitchell

Down Home
I smiled as I pulled a copy of the Daily Courier, our hometown newspaper, from its delivery tube at the curbside. On the front page was a great picture of four volunteers and a terrific article titled, “Volunteers clear 7 mile Taylor Creek Trail West of Grants Pass.” According to the report more than 30 volunteers mobilized by SOTA (Southern Oregon Trail Alliance), Motorcycle Riders Association, the Rogue Valley Mountain Bike Association and the Siskiyou Mountain Club, worked from January to May” of  2026, to clear the entirety of the 7 mile trail. The trail is a key link to more than 40 miles of single track trails that make up the Briggs Valley Trail network.
Chainsaw  in Hand
After the Klondike and Taylor Creek wildfires in 2018 devastated the much beloved Briggs Valley Trail system many area folks wrote off  the area, but volunteers said, a loud ‘Hell, NO!’ For the Trail restoration project funding was obtained largely from Travel Oregon, a group that promotes tourism and outdoor recreation in the state. A total of 560 volunteer hours were enlisted for the project. The volunteers converged over four work days with crews ranging from 14 to 25 people each day chain-sawing through downed trees, cutting back vegetation with hedge trimmers and loppers, reshaping trails with shovels, and raking rocks and debris off the path. The volunteers restored this beautiful area to a “better than before” condition, despite difficult weather and dense regrowth. This is the power of volunteerism in dramatic action.
The Foundation
Volunteerism is the foundation of civic involvement a driving force in social action. You can become part of something bigger than yourself by volunteering your time, energy, and  knowledge to help your friends, neighbors and community.  I know many people are working two jobs to keep gas in the rig, but so are a lot of other people. “Give and ye shall receive,” was a mantra at my childhood home. My dad helped neighbors with handy man assistance when he wasn’t working, his real job. My mom owned a popular diner on N.W. St. Helens Rd, in Portland, OR. So, as you can imagine, she was busy. She played fry cook 4 days a week and manager/bookkeeper/entrepreneur the other three days of the week. But, mom; just like my dad freely gave their time, energy, and skills to improve the condition of their neighbors, community, and the city at large. Understanding the scope and impact of giving back involves examining several key aspects of volunteerism.
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Types of Volunteerism:
  • The Informal Volunteer: Unorganized random acts of kindness that help friends and neighbors to improve the local environment. Can be as simple as cleaning up a neighbors driveway, mowing a lawn, or cutting back some brush. Better yet, organize a neighborhood cleanup and get everybody to join in the effort. For the disabled Vietnam vet living down the street, get a crew together and go down (with permission, of course) and fix what needs fixing, or find someone that can fix it. Informal volunteering has a lot of networking that goes with it. You find out fast who to call for most any task. 
  • The Formal Volunteer: Individual people performing tasks through established nonprofits, schools, or government agencies such as mentoring students or hospital reception. I volunteered one school year as school nurse for my local elementary school when I was pregnant with my son.
  • The Corporate Volunteer: Staff are supported by the employer, usually by providing VTO (paid time off) or organizing public service group days.
  • The Skill-Based Volunteer: A professional, such as an attorney; providing legal support for non-profits, pro bono for those in financial distress, and related services.

Experts Describe Three Tangible Reasons People Volunteer:
  • Local Impact: Volunteers enjoy seeing the fruits of their labor close up-solving community needs, ending food insecurity, housing the homeless, making strides in environmental conservation. Instant gratification or at least the possibility of it.
  • Personal Growth: Volunteers learn new skills, develop networking strategies, great experience for any resume.
  • Health Benefits: According to research “volunteering can reduce stress, foster social connections, and promote overall mental and physical well-being.”

Be a Bernie or an AOC 

Now that I ‘ve pointed out the huge impact volunteerism can have on a neighborhood, on a country, and the individual volunteers themselves; I’m issuing a call for volunteers. This democracy needs the energetic, the smart, and those committed to small d democracy and the progressivism of Bernie Sanders, AOC, Elizabeth Warren, and Zohran Mamdani if we are going to save ourselves from the oligarchs. There was a time when the government taxed these high income earners. There was a time when immigrants were welcome It wasn’t that long ago when labor unions delivered good wages and health and dental insurance coverage to their members. But, those were different times.

Robert’s Supreme Court and Donald Trump

Today we have a Supreme Court that is purely partisan. No doubt about it. The Roberts court is no longer a court, but an unelected legislative body, making up laws on some imagined redrawing of American justice. We need to bring a halt to this untethered Supreme court that has given Donald Trump unparalleled power. power that he is abusing every single day. The Trump administration and this supreme court are trying to end our democracy and set up a dictatorship and We need ethics reform, term limits, expansion of the court and prosecution of those justices found to be taking bribes and favors.

  • The Political Volunteer (activist): Figure out what you stand for and volunteer for the candidate that best reflects your needs. Knock on doors,  help the local Democratic party with donated money, manual labor, the gamut-‘a where you are most needed situation’. Volunteer to help at the local election office. Hell, if you think you can bring change; run for office.

Be A Political Activist

It is important for a tsunami of progressive reps and senators to be elected in the 2026 midterms. We need to flip the House and the Senate if we are going to bring this court to heel and Trump removed or squashed until removed. We need Democrats to defend and expand  social security, Medicaid, Medicare, voting rights, vote by mail, income equality, fair housing, child care, maternity leave, and a host of issues that make life livable.

 

 

 

 

A Gut Reaction to Superfoods

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A Gut Reaction to Superfoods

A Gut Reaction to Superfoods

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Topic of Conversation

With pre-, pro-, and other biotics being one of the biggest things in nutrition for a while now, how your gut is doing continues to be a significant topic of conversation. Back in the day, it was rather unladylike to discuss one’s guts, unless, of course, you were preparing fish.  The times, they are a changin’, since it is now quite stylish to converse about one’s innards.  I’m sure that mine are pink, and happily filled with mocha latte, with a few probiotics thrown in for good measure. My dear fashionable friend L. J., however, has taken an interest in my gut health, suggesting that I acquire some ginger root and steep it in boiling water for a yummy little elixir that will do truly exemplary things for my mocha latte-ridden internals.  Should I have the guts to actually drink this, I’m sure my system would dance an Irish Princess jig.

My Gut Instinct

I did actually purchase the ginger root, which looks like the stump of a weed.  It sits on the pantry shelf, taunting me – my gut reaction is to use it the next time we have sushi.  My gut instinct tells me perhaps a simple cup of tea with a jelly doughnut chaser could perhaps replace this culinary potion.  Mind you, I’m not speaking of an exotic fig twig kumquat pomegranate purple berry blast tree bark tea – an uncomplicated cup of chamomile laced with honey, drunk with one pink-polished pinkie extended, will do.  Perhaps the rather debonair L. J. will join me.  I think I will just resolve to stick to non-GMO, preservative-free real food in 2026, have the guts to stand up for my convictions, and of course, I’ll do it with style…

The Culprit

But those intestines can get you, if you’re not careful. I can recall trick or treating as a very small child, when we could all have yummies without worrying about the effects of allergic reactions. I never had any allergies back in the day, but as a woman of a certain age, I am sure killing it now. After many years of enjoying various flavors of rice, I am now intolerant of this particular grain, it appears. A small cup during a quiet afternoon at home had my anaphylactic self in bed for days. A quick cooking medley of long grain and wild rice, flax, and chia seeds was the culprit.

Continue reading

Dumb & Ugly Josh Hokit

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Dumb & Ugly Josh Hokit

Dumb & Ugly Josh Hokit

By D.S. Mitchell

Michelle Obama target of UFC fighter

Josh Hokit, also known as “no class Hokit,” in a post fight interview with Joe Rogan Sunday night thanked Donald Trump for hosting the UFC event before insulting the mother of one of his rivals, praising the Lord Jesus and ending the rant with an old far right wing conspiracy theory attack on former first lady Michelle Obama with the following disgusting comments, “And lastly — Michelle Obama is a man! Am I right, America?” To his credit, Rogan did not follow up on Hokit’s comment.

The fact that these comments were made on White House grounds shocked me; but why should I be shocked? Trump posted a video clip on his Truth Social account earlier this year that showed the Obamas as apes. After a heated response  from the public Trump tried to defend the offensive post before finally taking it down. Trump has yet to denounce Hokit’s comments. Many in the community have come out against Hokit’s racist and misogynistic dialogue, which I must say reflects poorly even on scandal ridden Donald Trump and his UFC event.

Robert Griffin III, a black former NFL quarterback and a UFC fan slammed Hokit’s postgame interview. “What a disgrace. It takes a really small man to use his biggest moment to attack a woman by calling her a man. Especially with the history behind calling black women men,” Griffin said on X.

Rep. Melanie Stansbury (D-New Mexico) called Hokit’s remarks “disturbing”.

The often controversial Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy, said Monday that he thought Hokit’s insult was inappropriate and Trump should have spoken up immediately condemning the remarks. “When on the White House lawn… I don’t care what you think about the Obamas or anything, that has to be an immediate denounce,” Portnoy said.

UFC CEO Dana White in a later interview told Time magazine that he disliked Hokit’s comments, “I understand that the Obama’s are public figures but I’m completely against saying nasty and false things about people’s families,” White told the magazine in a text message. “Everyone knows my position on free speech but I hate that kind of nonsense.”

Michelle Obama is beautiful, dignified, talented,  and a down right sensational person. I thank her and her lovely family for the eight years that they shared themselves with us. Thank you, Michelle, Malia, and Sasha (Natasha) and Barack. We were so lucky to have had you as our first family, and I for one, miss you.

 

Something More to Smile About

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Something More To Smile About

Something More To Smile About

D. S. Mitchell

Thank you, for visiting Calamity Politics, where we normally feed our reader’s the unadulterated red meat of liberal political news. But today, I am having one of my, “not today,” moments.

Ha, ha. I changed my usual offering of “25 Things To Smile About” to “30 Things To Smile About” for this week only. So, many awful things have happened this week that I thought we could all use an extra couple of reasons to smile. Happy political blogging. Thanks again, for visiting Calamity Politics, we hope you find topics of interest and enough Trump news to keep you laughing and screaming all week-end.

1.) Parades
2.) Cannon Beach, Seaside, Gearhart, and Astoria, Oregon
3.) Fresh baked Molasses cookies with THC
4.) Music boxes
5.) Being on time
6.) Deep sea fishing
7.) Introverts Anonymous

8.) Old time rock ‘n roll
9.) Big trees
10.) Being appreciated
11.) Hand embroidered 501’s
12.) Penguins, walking
13.) Herb gardens
14.) Yard Chess

15.) Having my taxes finished by April 15th
16.) Double Caramel Mocha espresso
17.) Canoes and Kayaks
18.) Michael Fanone
19.) The journey
20.) Deep fried onion rings
21.) Summer Solstice
22.) A plan
23.) The beach, after Memorial Day
24.) Rock walls
25.) Tile roofs
26.) The WNBA
27.) Portland, Oregon’s Old Town
28.) Food, Views and Piano at The Bridgewater Bistro, Astoria, Oregon

29.) Plate of chips & dip
30.) The quiet, before the storm

 

That’s it. Remember, stand for what’s right, you’ll feel better about it.

Join the Resistance. No Kings.

Trump’s Third Visit to Walter Reed This Year

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Trump’s Third Visit to Walter Reed This Year

Trump’s Third Visit to Walter Reed This Year

D. S. Mitchell

Experience

I was,  in my other life, a Registered Nurse. Over my 38 year career I spent 20 years in Crisis Psychiatry.  The symptoms of mental disorder I see in Trump are quite concerning. Quite flatly, Donald Trump is mentally ill. My observations are not political, but clinical. As a professional I see symptoms every day that Mr. Trump is deeply disturbed, both mentally and emotionally. I know, I am not alone in this belief.  There has long been a consensus among mental health professionals that President Trump is clearly mentally ill with severe symptoms of dementia. Trump’s not the only prez I’ve disliked for their policies.  But, never once, have I doubted a president’s mental capacity. No, not even old Joe Biden. Joe might have been slowing down, but he wasn’t erratic and downright crazy. And quite honestly, Trump has been caught more often than “Sleepy Joe”, taking a little nap, on the government dime.

Grave Danger

If  President Trump is as sick as I believe he is, his continued occupation of the White House is a minute by minute threat to our survival as a country.  His mental illness is a grave danger to the country we love. Caligula, Hitler, Stalin, come to mind. I am sure you would be peeing your pants if one of these mentally ill men had access to our country’s nuclear weapons.  Hell, yeah, you would be terrified. But, it goes beyond the nuclear codes. This guy wants to fight with everyone. Now bored with the Iran War and all the complaining he has decided to return his focus on Cuba. Continue reading

47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47

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47 Things More Pleasant Than  Trump 47

47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47

Editor: I have been avoiding the TV news recently; because his name, the sound of  his voice, his tweets, his quotes are the rantings of a demented old geezer that ‘otta be in a forensic unit at the Florida State Hospital instead of pretending to run the 21st century government of the United States. Before Trump sank into the depths of a terrifying dementia he was a thieving grifter who had fooled a lot of people for a long time. He has no respect for the law because he has always broken it and gotten away scot free while making huge sums of money. Now he is scamming the United States government for a whole bunch of cash for those who will claim false prosecution. Only in America. Holy fuck, what a terrible epitaph for this once glorious country. So with all that said, here’s Cate again with a few things she would much rather hear about than Donald Trump.

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

47 is the worst excuse for a “president” ever…and I mean E-V-E-R. So with said, here are 47 Things I think are more pleasant than Donald John Trump

  1. A peanut butter and pickle casserole – I will never call “The Donald” president
  2. Stepping on a screw
  3. Gastric disturbance
  4. The fragrance of a garbage truck
  5. Cotton mouth – I will never call “The Donald” president.
  6. Extreme physical pain
  7. A root canal without Novacaine
  8. Cockroachs – I will never call “The Donald” president
  9. Stomach flu
  10. Food poisoning
  11. COVID – I will never call “The Donald” president
  12. Poison Oak and Poison Ivy
  13. Dog poop – I will never call “The Donald” president
  14. Toilet back-up
  15. A sewer back-up
  16. A rectal exam – I will never call “The Donald” president
  17. Sink holes
  18. Razor burn
  19. Rat infestation – I will never call “The Donald” president
  20. Nails on a chalkboard
  21. Cellulite
  22. Stubbing a toe on pointy heavy furniture – I will never call “The Donald” president
  23. Crepie skin
  24. Being mooned by a stranger, or anyone for that matter
  25. A flasher in the produce aisle of the grocery store – I will never call “The Donald” president
  26. A flat tire during a rain storm
  27. Losing water pressure while showering
  28. Black ice – I will never call “The Donald” president
  29. The stirrups, if you are female
  30. Turn your head and cough, if you are male
  31. A kick in the balls – I will never call “The Donald” president
  32. Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  33. Cleaning up hairballs from the sofa
  34. Spending the night in a haunted house – I will never call “The Donald” president
  35. A clogged drain
  36. Arriving at the water park to discover someone threw up in the pool
  37. Finding a dog accident the hard way – I will never call “The Donald” president
  38. A can of warm soda or beer
  39. Running out of toilet paper
  40. A dead battery in subzero temperatures – I will never call “The Donald” president
  41. A gas gauge on E when you are running late
  42. A sprained ankle
  43. My in-laws – I will never call “The Donald” president
  44. A traffic citation
  45. Finding a fly in your soup
  46. The laugh of a hyena – I will never call “The Donald” president
  47. Creepy clown with orange hair – oh wait, that IS “The Donald”…

The Melania Movie? No, Definitely No.

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The Melania Movie? No, Definitely No.

The Melania Movie? No, Definitely, No.

Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch the Melania Movie

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. Get Disco Duck tattooed on my arm – no Melania movie for me…
  2. Hang upside down – no Melania movie for me…
  3. Kiss a rabid bat – no Melania movie for me…
  4. Scoop the litter box – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  5. Scrub the toilet – no Melania movie for me…
  6. Watch grass grow – no Melania movie for me…
  7. Watch paint dry – no Melania movie for me…
  8. Shave my legs with a dull razor – no Melania movie for me…
  9. Get a bikini wax – its less painful than Donnie Boys’ voice; Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  10. Eat haggis – no Melania movie for me…
  11. Get caught in the rain wearing my new suede coat and boots – no Melania movie for me…
  12. Enjoy a peanut butter and kale sandwich – no Melania movie for me…
  13. Fumigate – no Melania movie for me…
  14. Have blood drawn – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  15. Break my favorite vase – no Melania movie for me…
  16. Step on a Lego in stocking feet – no Melania movie for me…
  17. Walk over glass barefoot – no Melania movie for me…
  18. Clean the floor with my toothbrush – no Melania movie for me…
  19. Slip in a mud puddle wearing an all white outfit – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  20. Pay bills – no Melania movie for me…
  21. Drink warm Gatorade – no Melania movie for me…
  22. Muck the stall of a horse with diarrhea – no Melania movie for me…
  23. Eat a two month old tuna sandwich – no Melania movie for me…
  24. Change a tire in a snow storm – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  25. Have 25 mosquito bites – no Melania movie for me…
  26. Get a pelvic exam – no Melania movie for me…
  27. Wash my hair with Mr. Clean – no Melania movie for me…
  28. Listen to a grade school trumpet concert – at least the children are actually cute; no Melania movie for me…
  29. Clean out the garage – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  30. Shovel the driveway while it is still snowing – no Melania movie for me…
  31. Watch one of Ronald Reagan’s old movies – no Melania movie for me…
  32. Fall in a deep hole – no Melania movie for me…
  33. Swim in a pool with a floating swim diaper – no Melania movie for me…
  34. Brush my teeth with lye soap – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  35. Drink bleach – oh wait, the Trumpster suggested this to prevent COVID; no Melania movie for me…
  36. Pay tariffs – um well, we are doing this despite a Supreme Court order; no Melania movie for me…
  37. Buy a timeshare – no Melania movie for me…
  38. Break a heel off my most expensive pumps – no Melania movie for me…
  39. Take out the trash – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  40. Listen to Karaoke on dollar shots night – no Melania movie for me…
  41. Dump the contents of my purse in a mud puddle – no Melania movie for me…
  42. Get the heel of my shoe caught in a subway grate – no Melania movie for me…
  43. Have an impromptu Zoom meeting before my shower – no Melania movie for me…
  44. Get permanent marker off my wood desk – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  45. Put a sweaty glass on my coffee table without a coaster – no Melania movie for me…
  46. Take a Lysol bubble bath – no Melania movie for me…
  47. Eat a GMO meal – no Melania movie for me…
  48. Watch a horror movie – oh wait, the State of the Union is horror-ific; no Melania movie for me…
  49. Listen to childish whining – oh wait, that is the same as watching anything MAGA; Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…

We considered canceling Prime Video when we got an email that it was being hosted on Prime…

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