Women’s History: Making a Better Future

Women’s History: Making a Better Future

Women’s History: Making A Better Future

By Cate Rees-Hessel & Wes Hessel

 

History In The Making

As Women’s History Month heads toward it’s close, we look to the theme for 2026: “Leading the Change: Women Shaping a Sustainable Future,” highlighting women who work towards sustainable improvement in economics, environment, and society. Hand in hand is the International Women’s Day (March 8th, now celebrated for 115 years) theme for this year: “Give To Gain,” reminding us that sharing multiplies time, talents, and treasure for all.

Women In Front, Push Back

Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “Behind every successful man, there is a woman.”  Behind every successful woman is one or more women who succeeded before them, breaking ground and building up new progress. Right now arch-conservatives are trying to roll back women’s rights decades, if not centuries – we need to remind all that every human is here and worthy because of at least one woman, and likely countless more. And the advancements made by women are deeper and broader than one may think. For instance, most of us know of Madame Curie, and her ground-breaking radiation work. But what about Tabitha Babbitt, a Shaker who came up with the prototype for the circular saw? Or Nancy Johnson, who patented the original hand-cranked ice cream freezer?

Intrepid Inventors

Josephine Cochrane created the first dishwasher to achieve commercial success, with the first use of water pressure to scrub. Sarah Boone improved the portable ironing board to the familiar wedge shape of what we use today for our pressing engagements. Alice H. Parker created the first natural gas central furnace.

Men Don’t Have A Monopoly

Elizabeth Magie gave us “The Landlord’s Game,” the forerunner of what we now know as probably the most recognized board game ever, “Monopoly.” In its design she made social commentary on property owners of her time in their treatment of tenants and materialistic priorities, as well as the benefits of home ownership.

Science This!

The first female scientist hired by GE, Katharine Burr Blodgett, developed the first method to put one-molecule thick coatings onto glass or metal, making possible non-reflective glass, which is used for lenses on common items such as eyeglasses, cameras, microscopes, and other optics, as well as picture frames and the like. She also invented screens during World War II to protect troops from toxins in smoke.

Even More Data

In 1944, data processing pioneer Grace Hopper worked with Howard Aiken to create the Mark I computer at Harvard, then later came up with the computer slang “bug” and its companion, “debug”, after finding an errant moth had caused a system problem; she was also on the team that developed COBOL. Architect Eleanor Raymond collaborated with biophysicist Maria Telkes to build the first home heated by solar power in 1947.

She Didn’t Just Play A Spy…

Hedy Lamarr didn’t rest on her acting laurels – her work with George Anthiel in 1941 created a “Secret Communication System” that depended at least in part on frequency-hopping for security. Initially created to make torpedoes less vulnerable to jamming, these innovations and further work on her part gave us the beginnings of “spread-spectrum” technology, which became the basis for fax machines, cell phones, GPS, Wifi, and other related wireless communication advances.

Create Like It’s 1966

1966 was a bellwether year – in it Marie Van Brittan Brown came up with and patented the first closed-circuit TV security system, and also during it Stephanie Kwolek invented one of the most important synthetic fabric fibers there is – Kevlar. She created it in the process of working on strengthening material for auto tires, which it is used for, as well as brake shoe linings, boat hulls, flame-resistant clothing, and other composite materials. But its most well-known use is something countless law enforcement and military personnel are thankful for – the bulletproof vest.

Dr. Jackson, Dr. Jackson…

The first black woman to receive a M.I.T. PhD, Shirley Jackson, helped develop modern communication technologies such as touch tones, call waiting and caller ID, and fiber optic cables, in addition to solar cells. And she was the first woman to head one of the major technological institutions, in her case Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

They Figure In

Since this is about women in history, we cannot bypass the great figures of the ages. Explorer Sacagawea, original First Lady Dolley Madison, abolitionist Sojourner Truth, women’s suffrage advocate Susan B. Anthony, famed authors Louisa May Alcott and Harriet Beecher Stowe, Red Cross founder Clara Barton and fellow super-nurse Florence Nightingale, aviatrix Bessie Coleman and Amelia Earhart, poet and author Julia Ward Howe, civil rights activists Rosa Parks and Coretta Scott King, just to name but a very few…

Wells, Wells, Wells…

Women typically have to be multi-taskers – many took this to levels of great feats. Ida B. Wells was a women’s rights and civil rights activist (one of the founders of the NAACP), while also wearing the hats of teacher and investigative reporter, particularly focused on the horrors of lynchings. She, working with Frederick Douglass and other African-American leaders, orchestrated a boycott of the 1893 Columbian Exposition, since Blacks were not permitted to enter the exhibit areas. Ms. Wells also advocated for school integration, and helped found many African-American clubs, particularly for women of color.

Working It In

Contemporary to Ida B. was housing reformer, women’s suffragette, social work pioneer, and political administrator Jane Addams. Harriet Tubman made a career out of multiple jobs – in addition to her famous slavery freedom trips, she was a spy for the Union, an abolitionist, and a political advocate.

Multi-mavens

Multiple talents aren’t just a precedent of years gone by – what about actress, director, and producer Penny Marshall? Or dancer, choreographer, singer, and reality talent judge Paula Abdul? Queen Latifah handles music (including songwriting), acting, and producing equally well.  You don’t have to be too swift to know the name Taylor (Swift or Dayne). While we’re on the subject of entertainment, we can’t forget Cher and Madonna. Then there’s the lifestyle mavens such as Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, and Ree Drummond. And, of course, there’s one lady we only need one word for: Oprah.

Sporting It

Great women of sports also abound. Mildred Ella “Babe” Didrikson Zaharias excelled in baseball, golf, track and field, and basketball. In the 1932 Summer Olympics, she received two gold medals for track and field events, then became a golf professional, and went on to win ten LPGA major championships. In 1951 she was inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame, and she was married until her death in 1956 to George Zaharias. Babe is seen as a lady ahead of her time.

They Have the Drive

Ms. Zaharias has been followed by other outstanding female athletes, such as Swedish professional lady golfer, Annika Sörenstam. She has received numerous awards, including H.M. The King’s Medal, AP Female Athlete of the Year 2003-2004, Bob Jones Award, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. And who could forget Nancy Lopez’ precedent setting career.

Tennis Anyone?

The tennis dynasty of the Williams’ sisters is one of near domination of a particular sport. And before them was the legendary Billie Jean King, who even beat out Bobby Riggs in the much watched “Battle of the Sexes,” in 1973.

Do Something…

We can continue to commemorate women’s history in various ways:

  1. Involve yourself with female supporting groups that empower girls and women
  2. Create a brand-new book or movie club on-line, or join an existing one
  3. Treat a special lady that you receive inspiration and friendship from to a mocha latte, lunch, or bouquet of flowers
  4. Invite female entertainers, speakers, writers, and other professionals to online events
  5. Utilize all social media outlets to encourage women
  6. Utilize intersectionality to understand women of all walks of life
  7. Take an online class that enlightens women’s history
  8. Help involve children and teens in art, writing, performing, and reading women’s history related material
  9. Support STEM/STEAM initiatives targeted at encouraging young women in science and creative pursuits
  • Write a play, article, song, book, or poem about women, or read one

Color Purple And White

Let’s all wear purple, the international color which symbolizes women, and white, which represents women’s suffrage, to highlight those ladies who have contributed and continue to do so. We will keep using our voices for the advancement of female equality. For more information, visit www.nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org, www.internationalwomensday.com, and www.womenshistorymonth.gov. In the words of Elle Woods, “What? Like it’s hard?”

OPINION: The ICE Has Yet to Melt…

OPINION:

More Freeze is Coming

OPINION:

The ICE Hasn’t Melted & More Freeze is Coming

By Cate Rees-Hessel with Wes Hessel

 

ICE Arrests Continue

Brutal ICE arrests are on going. Violent incidents are increasing as we end a grim and troubled holiday season. The horrific murder of the beautiful and kind hearted Renee Nicole Good has brought widespread public outrage, but an arrest for gunning down this American citizen in cold blood has yet to be made. She leaves behind 3 precious children and a loving spouse. Her wife Becca Good is broken hearted, saying in her statement about the tragedy, “And while any place we were together was home, there was a strong shared sense here in Minneapolis that we were looking out for each other. Here, I had finally found peace and safe harbor. That has been taken from me forever.”

Fucking Bitch

Renee was not a threat to anyone – her final words were “That’s fine, dude. I’m not mad at you.” The words of the ICE agent that shot and killed her were full of hatred, “Fucking bitch.” Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey spoke eloquently with strong words against this tragic act of pure evil.

Alex Pretti, RN

The morning of 1/24/2026, two weeks after the murder of Renee Good, Registered Nurse, Alex Pretti, a white guy, an American citizen, was shot an estimated 8 times, or perhaps as many as 10 times, by a Border Patrol agent while Pretti was being held down by at least half a dozen other officers. Before the last bullet had left the chamber of the agent’s gun, the Trump administration came out full force labeling Alex Pretti a gun wielding psycho, a “domestic terrorist,” a madman running toward federal law enforcement agents attempting to kill them. The attack on the character of Good and Pretti is shameful. The character assassination of Pretti and Good by Noem, Bondi, Bovino, Vance and Trump makes it clear there’s no truth coming from our federal government. In fact, state authorities in MN are so distrustful of the federal government the DHS was ordered by a Minnesota court to preserve all forensic evidence from the cases.

Filming the Interaction

From videos and affidavits from witnesses on the scene; Pretti was filming the interaction of agents with protesters. In one video he was clearly shown trying to help a woman get up from the pavement after being knocked down by the feds. At no time did Pretti  draw or attempt to draw his legally licensed and permitted weapon. Alex was a caring man, he was an ICU nurse at the VA Medical Center. He wanted to help people not harm them; that’s why the citizens of Minneapolis, MN are protesting the presence of ICE on their streets.

Worthy of 1984 Double Speak

The character assassination of Pretti and Good by Noem, Bondi, Bovino, Vance and Trump makes it clear there’s no truth coming from this crowd and we need to be clear on that. In fact, so distrustful of the federal government the DHS was ordered by a Minnesota court to preserve all forensic evidence from the cases.

Reign of Terror

America, we are better than this. The “ICE reign of terror”, as U.S. Representative and senatorial candidate from the Chicago area Raja Krishnamoorthi succinctly put it, this “must end.” Her former sister-in-law Morgan Fletcher said, “she never expected a loved one’s death to be ‘so high profile’ or a ‘massively divisive, political topic.’” This lovely human being sure does not sound like a “domestic terrorist” to the millions mourning her death, myself and my spouse included. Slander is speaking ill of the dead and Ms. Good’s children don’t deserve to hear awful lies about the mommy they mourn.

No ‘Absolute Immunity”

Our eyeliner wearing “Vice President JD Vance claimed agent Jonathan Ross, who fatally shot Renee Nicole Good in Minneapolis, had “absolute immunity” because he was engaged in a federal law enforcement action. Although federal officials have some constitutional shields against state prosecution, the immunity isn’t absolute.” Legal experts, including the University of Wisconsin Law School, conclude that Vance is wrong. There is no “absolute immunity.”

Stars Wear ‘Be Good’ Pins

At the 2026 Golden Globe awards in support of Renee and her family, prominent attenders such as Mark Ruffalo, Wanda Sykes, Natasha Lyonne, Jean Smart, Tessa Thompson, Bella Ramsey, and Ariana Grande, wore “BE GOOD” pins. Such buttons are available from multiple sources online. Rest in peace Renee. Rest in peace Alex. We will fight for your memory – your lives stood for Good and no gaslighting from the Nazi’s in the White House can change that.

More atrocities of ICE:

  1. In North Aurora, IL, a woman was pepper sprayed in the face by an ICE agent while standing still with her arms at her sides.
  2. ICE agents, per tribal leaders, detained four Native Americans, with only one being released a short time after.
  3. Chicago area U.S. Representative Delia Ramirez is calling for ICE to be defunded – her comment that funding ICE only fuels our own destruction is spot on…
  4. A U.S. appeals court has lifted the restrictions on ICE using force on protesters in Minnesota – this sickens and scares me.
  5. A recent CNN poll shows 3/4 of the respondents agree ICE used excessive force and killing Renee Good was unjustified.
  6. Mark Ruffalo, while wearing a “Be Good” button, spoke against Trump in a heartfelt red carpet interview.
  7. Lehigh County is cooperating with ICE to the fullest extent of the law, sad to report this.
  8. Anti-ICE activist Mark Pinsley is seeking to run for office in Lehigh County.
  9. There is an unpaid rent allegation against ICE for a facility(s) being used by them in Pennsylvania
  10. Homeland Security via email has confirmed there is a “Catch of the Day” in Maine after over 50 arrests were made.
  11. Tom Homan claims the ICE agent that killed Renee Good is fearing for his life and that of his family. Renee Good feared for her life before she was killed by him.
  12. A photo on social media shows an elderly man in boxers and a robe being taken by an ICE agent. His door was broken down and a gun put to the head of his daughter-in-law. His name is Saly, a naturalized US citizen.He was driven around and frightened by ICE, then dropped back at his residence as if this was normal.
  13. Democrats now control Virginia and have moved to stop cooperating with Trump’s ICE.
  14. Renee Good’s mother spoke of her daughter’s kindness and fear in her final moments of life.
  15. A doctor who wanted to try to save Renee Goods life was stopped by an ICE agent that said he didn’t care. Help was kept at bay with the use of weapons while a shocked and angry crowd watched in fear and horror.

Know what’s right – know your rights: https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights-share-your-rights-immigrants-rights

Spin

Spin

Spin

 

By John Curran

They want an update, so I’m gonna give ’em one. It’ll probably get revised, maybe I won’t care. Anyway it goes like this…My name is Tiny and I’m actually a tiny person. You mighta’ heard about us tiny people, probably didn’t believe it. I guess it does sound fantastic to most folks, but fact is we are the original peoples. We’ve been since forever but we’ve had to lay low and get real small going back to a long time ago when we could see the shitstorm that was coming. It’s true-we are 1/12 of the normal size. So, me, well I am, six inches high. So now you know.

A small point of all this for the present moment is I have access, you could say, a most unconventional vantage point on things, especially since I have acquired this cool little knock off drone ride around. Dude, I get everywhere and pretty much see everything these days, and remain, unseen. It’s great. Anyway, speaking of, I saw it. I was buzzing right directly overhead when that heavily suited up and armed mother fucker raised his big gun up and shot the woman right in the face through the windshield of her car as she was turning her wheel away from him and the others, just scared and trying to get away. Goddamn. I saw it all, yes sir, a million times now in my dreams, thanks a lot.  How’s that for spin? I’m gonna spin right on outa’ here now, get smaller and lay da’ fuck low, trying to be cool, and nobody knows my name.

OPINION: For What It’s Worth

OPINION: For What It’s Worth

OPINION: For What It’s Worth

 

D. S. Mitchell

 

I didn’t sleep well last night. I was agitated, angry, and broken hearted over what appears to be a murder in Minneapolis, MN, by a masked ICE agent. ICE stands for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the woman, a white woman, a 37 year old mother of three, was an American citizen, Renee Nicole Good.  The gaslighting by DHS Secretary, Kristi Noem  and the Mango Menace himself began  immediately. Rather than wait for an investigation the woman is being labeled “a domestic terrorist”. I tried to put myself in Renee Good’s place, being menaced by a masked man attempting to drag me out of my car. Holy crap, I’ve seen a lot in my long life but I don’t know if I could have behaved any less fearful than Renee did. This bullshit has gone way too far. I don’t know how many people have to hit the streets to sway the direction of this government, but I’ve heard that about 12 million protesters on the streets at one time can overwhelm the bad politics of this MAGA mad man and force a change in policy.

This isn’t El Salvador, yet; or maybe, people like Trump and Stephen Miller think it already is. Well, I’m not willing to surrender to thugs and criminals. I’m asking a mere 12 million protesters take to the streets. No Kings and Indivisible will be planning events coming into the spring. Watch for them and participate. We need an overwhelming outpouring of dissatisfaction against this mob boss president.  Just 12 million citizens yelling and waving signs can change the direction of this country.

All I keep thinking of are the words of that iconic protest song from the 1960’s, “For What It’s Worth“, by Stephen Stills.  I included a verse to stir your memory banks. Pull it up on YouTube. Buffalo Springfield.

Verse 1

There’s something happening here

But what it is ain’t exactly clear

There’s a man with a gun over there

A-telling me I got to beware

Chorus

Hey its time we stop

Hey what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s goin down

 

Thank you, For What it’s Worth Lyrics

Hot Damn

Hot Damn 

Hot Damn 

ON TOUR

Hollowed Out Heg and the Hit Squad with ICE  

Editor: John Curran states his short story, “Hot Damn” is total, complete, fiction.

 

By John Curran

“Hollowed out Heg and the Hit Squad with ICE,” said the poster, “On Tour with special guests,” to perhaps include Lord Lord, the big one himself, live out of the cage. And that was enough, baby, leave ’em dangling, the way they always do. Wow, Heg and the Hits, coming ‘right here’ to little Scranton, PA and we were the kickoff site. ‘Course it made perfect sense though, this was Scrappy Joe’s turf and the ‘here’ had more meaning ‘here’ than was stated on any poster.

We all knew what was coming though, perfect sense ‘n no surprise. I headed back home and got out the old zoot suit that I’d been saving for just such an occasion. The thing was on this very night. Whatever night it was, it didn’t even matter. It was always chaos with this bunch anyway; ‘ya expected it by now ‘n just went with it, whatever ‘it’ was.  What ‘ya might not know is that, in fact, Scrappy Joe’s back, believe it, and he’s been briefed on things. He’s feeln’ good, that cancer thing is done…maybe, and the Corvette’s never been faster, nor more dangerous.

“Let’s roll boys,” Joe said, pulling out of New York, headed to Scranton, to answer the challenge.

So, I pull up. Yeah, it’s a scene.  Hot Tulsi, “da Silver Streaks” is working the door; handing out red hats and small cups of green Kool Aid.

“Make you strong,” she says.

I ignore her and just bust my way in. That’s how ‘ya gotta be at these things now, act like you’re big, ‘ya know somebody, like you are somebody, it’s easy ‘ya just gotta show balls, is all. So I’m in ‘n right away I notice the little drones, sorta buzzing around. I remember that great novel, “Dune,” how prescient that was.

‘N then center stage it’s the Heg, up there face into the mike, doin’ the scowl, the famous scowl, the tough guy things he does, wow…’n then he’s into that latest ‘n greatest the Two Tap Shuffle, like he just don’t care. Well…

After that, I can’t remember much, I mighta’ had some of that green Kool Aid stuff…things got fuzzy…seems at some point a bear handler with a big ass bear, wearin’ an orange diaper ‘n a red hat, did a great rendition of ‘Heaven, It’s a Hoax, Its only Hell That’s Real,” and brought down the house, literally, as when the bomb blew up.

I was nowhere around, and Scrappy Joe in that ‘vette was half-way home, but I heard all about it.

 

Worst Black Friday & Cyber Monday Deals

Worst Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals

Worst Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals

Well, it looks like there’s going to be a lot of Trump and GOP paraphernalia crowding retailer’s shelves across the country as the MAGA nightmare seems to be doing a nose dive with even the diehards like Marjorie Taylor Greene. Keep an eye open for any of these great deals coming your way Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I guarantee there will be orange everywhere.

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. Trumpopoly – be the first to go bankrupt and steal from the community chest; all the cards you draw are “Get Out of Jail Free.”
  2. Mar-a-Lago tree ornament, its orange with an iconic mushroom shape.
  3. Trump lollipops – or should I say suckers, burnt orange flavor.
  4. Elon Musk Ken doll, watch out for the chainsaw.
  5. JD Vance Alan doll, oh my, Erika Kirk may want to pick up a couple of these bad boys.
  6. Melania doll – comes with a mini Hustler magazine and accompanying plastic surgeon doll.
  7. “I Beg your Pardon, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” dance mix, sung by “The Donald” himself, on DVD.
  8. Tesla wind chimes made from recycled Tesla parts.
  9. MAGA cap, scarf, and glove set.
  10. Trump toupe – you, too, can be an orange haired monster.
  11. The pet rock returns – ICE are using the little creatures to break car windows.
  12. Trumpmania game I hear they’ll be going 10 for a dollar.
  13. “My Ding A Ling” (is now president) party dance show mix “…I want you to play with my ding-a-ling…”
  14. Tesla ride-on scooter.
  15. “The Donald” shit show shower head.
  16. Donald Diapers – he’s a big boy now.
  17. Worst Little Whorehouse in Washington DVD with special guest appearances by various friends and lovers.
  18. A giant tub of Republican mixed nuts.
  19. The barrel of monkeys from the 1960’s has been reinvented – a Barrel of MAGA’s.
  20. Another retro game, “Blockhead!” is back.
  21. Big Mac toaster oven, just like the one at the White House.
  22. Trump golf clubs with knitted orange head covers.
  23. Melania fashion and decorating tips for the “Karen” coffee table book.
  24. Melania charm school gift certificate.
  25. Orange haired big gut balloon bouquet.

Portland, Oregon-My Home Town

Portland, OR-My Home Town

A couple of my friends waiting for the riots to start, but we’ve got no riots here. What we have here, in Portland, Oregon, are concerned citizens, loving their country, speaking out against a lawless president and his gang of masked thugs.

 

How to be a Feminine Feminist

How to be a Feminine Feminist

How to be a Feminine Feminist

Editor: I love it.

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

I have always been both a girly girl and staunch feminist – a true Elle Woods, from Legally Blonde fame. Below are a few ways to embrace your inner princess without sacrificing your feminist being:

  1. Wear something pearl everyday for Kamala, the woman who should be President.
  2. Read anything written by Gloria Steinem while getting a pedicure.
  3. Suggest a showing of “Legally Blonde” at your local library (next year is the 25th anniversary…).
  4. Invite friends over to watch the “Barbie” movie and everybody wear pink.
  5. Show your Ken some affection and I don’t mean the doll.
  6. Run for office wearing pretty dresses and, if you can walk in them, a pair of Prada pumps.
  7. Always look your best – when you feel confident you are taken seriously.
  8. Remain well groomed at all times.
  9. Encourage other ladies – call each other beautiful, sexy, and sisters.
  10. Know beauty comes from within.
  11. Recognize beauty comes in all shapes, colors, sizes, ages, and ethnicities.
  12. Don’t go after someone else’s significant other – if you can’t keep a love interest, ask yourself why.
  13. A blush and quiet giggle are okay if followed by an intelligent wisecrack.
  14. Never belch or pass gas in public – you don’t have to be rude to sit at the boys table.
  15. Turn the boys table into the women’s table with your intelligence and wit.
  16. If the guys don’t give you a seat at the table, follow the wisdom of the immortal Shirley Chisolm and bring a folding chair (mine is pink).
  17. Nail biters most often don’t win – keep them groomed.
  18. Take a bubble bath while reading law journals.
  19. Remember Adam and Eve both disobeyed God, not just Eve. As a favorite comic of mine would say, “Where’s the dude?”
  20. Channel Geraldine Ferraro.
  21. Watch “Clueless” in celebration of its 30th anniversary – “as if” Trump actually won the election. “My bad” NOT, because I didn’t vote for “The Donald” – I proudly voted Harris-Walz.
  22. Volunteer for a female candidate’s campaign, as long as they’re not a Trump supporter.
  23. Host a tea for a feminist organization, serving cucumber cream cheese sandwiches and lemon scones on floral china.
  24. Never let them see you sweat – hide your tears from those that mean you harm.
  25. Watch a WNBA game.
  26. Join NOW and campaign for girls and women in sports – go to bat for them.
  27. Be a Ms. even if you’re a Miss or a Mrs.
  28. Stand up for yourself and other women – it’s all about internal sisterhood.
  29. God gave us emotions – they are normal. Don’t be afraid to show them, but don’t let anyone use them against you.
  30. Buy some bad ass lipstick and earrings.
  31. Accessorize and put your pretty game face on.
  32. Dance like everyone is watching.
  33. Drink a mocha latte.
  34. Get a facial or do one at home.
  35. Go to a thrift store for some retail therapy and look for some vintage issues of MS magazine, Vogue, Elle, and Glamour, then do a reading swap with friends.
  36. Read “Whiskey in a Teacup” by Reese Witherspoon.
  37. Have a Reese Witherspoon movie marathon and include both “Legally Blonde’s.
  38. Watch reruns of “That Girl” because Marlo Thomas is an empowered feminist.
  39. Watch reruns of “Murder She Wrote” because J.B. Fletcher was a well-dressed, well-mannered bad ass.
  40. Campaign for Kamala Harris to take her rightful place in the Oval Office in 2028.

 

 

Illegal

Illegal

Illegal

 

By John Curran

Well, it looked like my chimp Charley was leading the charge, as he’d just slipped his leash and was racing on ahead toward where all the people were already gathering on the Courthouse lawn. It was the Protest, and me and my people were following up behind, me pushing Dave in his wheelchair and Darlene and Vajra carrying the signs and cowbells.

I was trying to keep an eye on Charley, my chimp. He’s a pretty good chimp, but he’s a chimp, in a world of humans. But like I said, he’s a cool chimp. I see him over there. He’s gone right over to that shady patch of lawn where two weeks before me ‘n some other fellas had had a drum circle going. That had been at Protest 2. We were now at Protest 3, and it must be said that at Protest 2 we had sat right there where Charley was now and we banged on our bongos and everything had been fine.

Charley hadn’t been at Protest 2, we’d left him at the ranch, he’d thought he was in love with the neighbor chimp. Now he knew better but that’s another story. Now he was here with us and amazingly enough having gone on ahead with my bongo and his bag full of ping pong balls and was now sitting in the very spot where we’d sat for our bongo party.

And then I saw it all. Charley hadn’t been there ten seconds when up walks this uniformed big white dude acting like Security, saying no one was allowed there buddy, you gotta go in front of the wall like everybody else was suddenly being told they had to do. Well, Charley wasn’t having it and went into full on bad chimp mode. He’s a pretty good actor Charley is and when he puts on this one I gotta say, he’s pretty damn convincing. Anyway you shoulda seen that Security guy step back one time and back his big butt slowly, away from Charley. If he’d had a gun he probably woulda’ drawn it.

Anyway, he hooks up with some other ‘Security’ guys down at the far end ‘n they all come up in a bunch but by that time Charley’s gone right up the nearest tree and he’s throwing ping pong balls down on these guys. I decide at this point I better step in here and declare myself. Well, they told me I could probably be charged. I said, “yeah, I know,” that much I know. They were really kinda’ alright though, we all had a laugh, and Charley came down and acted like he was sorry. Very convincing too, was Charley.

And later, nine days exactly, it was reported in our local newspaper that what the ‘Security’ had been doing telling people (and chimps) that they couldn’t sit on the Courthouse grass had been illegal. I showed it to Charley and he just laughed; as if he had known it all along. Pretty convincing ‘n, I ain’t lying, maybe sometimes even a little scary, in that way. I mean, what is really going on, Charley?

 

You Might Just Be a Woman of a Certain Age, Once Again

You Might Just Be a Woman of a Certain Age, Once Again

You Might Just Be a Woman of a Certain Age, Once Again

 

Editor: Thank God, we can take a five minute break from the Orange One. Hail, Cate! Thank you.

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1.  If you ever used Dep or Aqua Net, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you refer to your hair style as a “do”, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you own a flip phone, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If Jean Nate is your go to fragrance, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you had to remove shoulder pads from half your wardrobe, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you ever had a plastic rain bonnet in a plastic container in your purse, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you ever drank from a collapsible cup, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you know what rag curls are, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If you set your hair on frozen orange juice cans, or beer cans, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If Great Lash is your go to mascara, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you were ever a candy striper, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you know that bunny ears have nothing to do with rabbits, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you know what Emerson College is, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  14. If you have heard of Ned Nickerson, Bess, George, or Hannah Gruen, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If you had white patent leather gogo boots, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If you know what a gogo girl is, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If you have LPs of the GoGos, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you know what an LP is, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you ever had your daily sprinkle, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you know who Midge and Alan are, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  21. If your Skipper doll grew boobs, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  22. If you know you can dance to it, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  23. If you know the Bangles are not a set of bracelets, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  24. If you had a Spirograph or Light Brite, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  25. If you had a Rainbow Brite doll, you might just be a woman of a certain age…