Summer Sun and Fun
Summer Sun and Fun
By Anna Hessel
It’s Not Over ‘Til It’s Over
As summer comes to its close, here are some fun reflections and sage advice on how to enjoy the remainder of the season…
Everybody In The Pool…
The opening of our local water parks and pools proved to be much fun; I can’t help but notice the difference between how men and women prepare for a day at the pool. Since a week in Tahiti to get in the right mind set is a bit unrealistic, women begin with a mani-pedi, bikini wax at the European Wax Center, and a stop for beachy waves at their salon of choice.
Shop ‘Til You Drop
Of course, a trip to the favorite shopping center is in order (including the requisite stop at Starbuck’s for a mocha latte) to choose several new swimsuits, swim skirts, swim coverups, sundresses, two pair of designer sunglasses, toe rings, ankle bracelets, sandals, flip-flops, an attractive beach tote with a pretty scarf tied to the handle to carry it all in (mine is pink), a sun umbrella (mine is pink), beach towels from Big Lots (mine are pink), and a straw sun hat from the local millinery boutique.
Just A Few Sundries
Next comes the cosmetics: sunscreen in various levels of SPF, clarifying shampoo, dry shampoo, volumizing conditioner, hair mousse, papaya body wash, hyacinth body scrub, coconut almond moisture bath bar, cucumber melon moisturizing spray, Tiki Beach body spray from Bath & Body Works, deodorant/antiperspirant, pre-tan accelerator, after-sun lotion, spray-on lotion, cocoa butter hand cream, pina colada flavored tinted lip balm with SPF, waterproof mascara, waterproof blush, bronzer, BB cream with SPF, lavender mint moisturizer, Avon Skin So Soft, makeup remover, grapefruit toner, day cream, eye cream from Rodan + Fields, mandarin orange body butter, peach foot cream, body firming lotion, talc-free powder, mint mouthwash, travel size toothbrush and whitening toothpaste, waterproof brow gel, Clinique Chubby Stick in Cherry, Band-Aids (mine are Hello Kitty – they were out of pink) , antibacterial wipes, hand sanitizer, brush, comb, curling iron, flat iron, hot rollers, blow dryer (mine is Hello Kitty and pink), water bottle (mine is pink), waterproof smartphone cover (mine is pink), headphones (mine are pink), fresh unmentionables (may I mention, mine are pink), wash cloth, fingertip towel (mine is guess what color? Pink!), loofa, and shower pouf (mine is pink).
Read On…
Add in some quality reading material, including the Good Book, the latest issue of Elle, Glamour, Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, a Harlequin “Love Inspired” romance, a Legally Blonde novel, and of course, something by Debbie Macomber. Now if you are a mom, taking your children to the pool, the above list will most likely triple in size, adding healthy and fun snacks (just don’t eat them on the pool deck), a bevy of swim toys, water wings, and lots of Little Swimmers Diapers for the littlest ones.
All That Truck
As my husband was getting out the hand truck to take my teensie beach tote to the car, all the while muttering something about hernias and the kitchen sink missing, I snuck a peak at his beach bag: last year’s swim trunks in a plastic grocery sack from Walmart; you gotta’ love a man with style…
Waxing Eloquent
Of course, one of my favorite parts of summer is a trip to the full-fledged water park; this means a major hair removal spree – winter allows us to only shave to the knee. I tried on my new swimsuit and looked like an orangutan wearing tube socks. I better add a Brazilian wax to my pedicure on the beauty prep list. I often wonder, why this waxing is not referred to as Australian or the Cuban wax? Let’s just refer to it as a bikini wax, shall we?
Packing Light
As I am packing my new tote bag for the park (mine is pink with matching princess beach towel), I notice my husband is packing his plastic grocery bag. In goes an old Spiderman beach towel, his brand-new swim trunks (his are light blue with orange pineapples emblazoned on them), a faded purple T-shirt, and green flip-flops for his feet. He adds a Cubs hat in their trademark dark blue to this cheeky ensemble.
I Don’t Know Him
Upon arrival at the water park, I pretend I don’t know my spouse of 31 years. I receive a sympathetic glance from a well-coordinated woman whose husband is attired in a red, orange, and yellow Hawaiian shirt from three decades past, faded green trunks, and argyle socks with sandals. He proudly pulls a T-shirt announcing “My kid went to Florida and all I got was this lousy shirt” from his paper grocery sack. I smile and give a knowing nod to his attractive wife, taking comfort in the knowledge that my man has style…
Fly In The Flamingos
Of course, COVID had caused havoc with summer pool season 2020-2021 to be non-existent, so I was extremely grateful when swimming establishments re-opened last year. I am fully vaccinated and boosted and I am always more than ready for some fun in the sun. Last season, however, patrons had to provide their own chairs; this fact sent me on a search for two matching loungers, a task that proved more difficult than I imagined. I finally found a duo at a mass retailer, but the individual chairs were at separate locations. To my chagrin, the set’s motif featured pink flamingos. My favorite color, yes, but the graphics of the cartoonish form of the tall birds, not so much. Back in the day, plastic flamingos were not considered the most elegant of décor, but now, there is a sea of them wherever I look. They are all the rage – they have become the pumpkin spice of summer.
Don’t Be An Angry Bird
Don’t get me wrong, actual live flamingos are very cool birds. But too much of a good thing is, well, too much. I have seen flamingo everything: beach totes, towels, swimwear, sunglasses, pool floats, drinkware, dinnerware, neon-lit sculptures, solar yard lights, mailbox covers, flags, shower curtains complete with matching beak rings, earrings, robes, PJ’s, slippers, bedding, mani-pedi nail designs, and even out-of-season Christmas tree ornaments, just to name a few. A wooden sign reminds me to be a flamingo standing tall, finding balance, getting your feet wet, to keep on digging until you find what you’re looking for, to remain flexible, support your flock, and of course, always be “fla-mazing”. Now I will admit I have a tin plaque on my rear patio that announces one must, “Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons”. But to be quite honest, the entire flamingo craze escapes me.
Mine Is Pink, His, Well…
Since my lounge chair coordinates with my solid pink beach bag, towel, and flip-flops, I have somehow convinced myself that this sun chair purchase is whimsical. My other half, although disappointed that he did not receive a navy and white striped beach lounger for his birthday, secure in his masculinity, he is making do with pink flamingos. A glance in his direction shows he is extracting his old faded red and blue Spiderman beach towel from his plastic grocery bag, to spread across his pink flamingo chair, making us even more of a spectacle at the water park. As I lower my ample derriere to lounge upon the faces of 100 unsuspecting fake flamingos, I can’t help but wonder what in tarnation has happened to style…
The Dog Days of Summer
It’s hard to believe summer will soon be coming to an end – August, for me, means a wedding anniversary trip to yet another water park, one of the advantages of being married in the “dog days” of August. This got me to thinking why we refer to the summer heat as “dog days”. Our cats actually agree with our dog that they don’t like the heat, either. I decided to do some research – in other words, I Googled it – to find that the phrase has nothing to do with doggies languidly sleeping in the shade.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree?
In reality, dogs are not involved at all per se – the origins of the phrase take us all the way back to ancient times in Rome and Greece; the star Sirius, a part of the constellation Canis Major, is called the “dog star”, and is the brightest shining in the waning summer sky. It was considered the greater dog, which moved in the direction of the sun. The star group normally can only be seen during the winter, but the Romans and Greeks were aware that the constellation, and the dog star itself, traveled towards the sun during the late summer, therefore called this time period the “dog days”.
The Phrase That Pains
This explanation led me to ponder about some other often-used phrases, which I must admit I find annoying. The one which bothers me the most is the overused term “reach out” – in my opinion, reaching out is something one would do to aid their fellow man such as baking a cake for a sick neighbor or helping someone to change a tire. Reaching out, to me, really has nothing to do with a call to the cable company, the bank, or my insurance agent. Another rather silly nouveau cliché is the profound “it is what it is”; well, duh, it isn’t what it isn’t… That made no sense, even to a blonde – please feel free to email your explanation. I also find the phrase “we are moving in a different direction” particularly appalling, especially when used to terminate a long-term and loyal employee. Back in the day we simply said, “you’re fired!”, because “it is what is”, and this reference has nothing to do with the dreaded Donald.
Until it Ends
Soon my fevered brain will be challenged by the ridiculousness of pumpkin spice lattes, Santa decorated boxer shorts, and PJ’s emblazoned with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but until I fold up my pink beach towel and slide it into my little pink tote for the last day at the waterpark, let’s have some fun.
