Wandering Thoughts

Wandering Thoughts

Wandering Thoughts

D. S. Mitchell

Thinking Aloud

I’ve spent most of the afternoon potting plants. I’m putting my beloved lake house up for sale and I noticed the deck needs a bright summer look so I went on a buying spree in Home Depot’s garden section. LOL. My dear neighbor came over with his wheel barrel when he saw me struggling with my blooming treasure and made quick work of the unloading. Brilliant blue Witches Hat, a dozen baskets of gorgeous red petunias, and 8 giant pots of amazing white Snow Thimble.

Getting the picture; red, white, and blue; the 250th anniversary? Anyway, none of this matters except that I do very little on Sunday, except play in the garden, eat gummies, canvas the internet for conspiracy theories, and write for Calamity Politics. The Calamity Politics part of it is where I am right now. Some days focusing on a particular topic is easier said than done, so please bear with me as random thoughts bounce around the page as I play with what’s hopefully going to be an article for Calamity Politics.

Misfiring Electrons In My Brain

Mom Said

My Mom used to say, “People will ignore facts, dismiss science, and argue the unarguable; if it’s in the interest of their pocketbook.” I thought for years that she had come up with that on her own, but then one day I saw the quote attributed to New York Yankee catcher, Yogi Berra. Whoever the source I think it is particularly astute. I wonder what she’d say about Donald Trump making at least 8 billion dollars since the first 19 months of his second term? I won’t mention his kids cuz they seem to be everywhere snagging US government contracts, causing protest rallies as far away as Albania. Since when is this alright?

Yogi Berra

When Yogi Berra left this world we lost the greatest baseball comedian-philosopher of all time. I didn’t say that, I read it somewhere. In addition to the first quote noted above he had a million more; such as, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”  “Nobody goes there any more, it’s too crowded.”  “You can observe a lot, by watching.” “The future ain’t what it used to be.” “Never answer an anonymous letter.”  “It’s like deja vu all over again.” “He hits from both sides of the plate.  He’s amphibious.”  When queried about where he wanted to be buried, he said, “Surprise me.”  Yogi Berra had a zest for life that even death couldn’t stop. While men like Yogi Berra continue to bring smiles to our faces men like Donald Trump and his cronies are literally trying to break the American spirit.

Start Writing

What about encouraging some blowback? If you haven’t written a letter to your Mayor, your local newspaper Editor,  your State Legislators, or one of your Federal Legislators, you should do it immediately.  It is a great way to get what’s bothering you off your chest.   The Letter to the Editor is especially rewarding because you can present your beef to the community and garner a few minutes in the spotlight. While you’re fired up, make some poster board signs for the next NO Kings protests, get your drum, your voice amplifier, your comfy shoes and be ready for the biggest protest in US history.

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Women of a Certain Age-Culinary Edition

Women of a Certain Age-Culinary Edition

Women of a Certain Age – Culinary Edition

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you watch “The Food That Built America” on the History Channel and shout “I bought that!” during the show, you might just be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you call Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice TV dinners…
  3. If you know what a Jawbreaker is…
  4. If you were unaware that many of the foods you have eaten in the past are GMO…
  5. If you ever ate a Pop Tart without frosting…
  6. If you remember when each of the new M&M colors came out…
  7. If you remember the red dye no. 2 scare…
  8. If you ate fruit off the tree without washing it…
  9. If you refer to a microwave as a microwave oven…
  10. If you ever had Jiffy Pop…
  11. If you remember who helped with the Shake’n’Bake Chicken…
  12. If you still fry chicken…
  13. If you had fish sticks on Fridays…when you were a kid
  14. If you think drinking milk with fish is dangerous…
  15. If you ever drank milk straight from the cow…
  16. If you drank from the garden hose…
  17. If you agree milk comes from a cow or a goat, not a nut…
  18. If you know who Famous Amos is…
  19. If you know Tab was a soft drink…
  20. If you drank Tang because the astronauts did…
  21. If you ever had caramels with white cream layer stripes…
  22. If you ever ate a Sky Bar…
  23. If you have heard of Willy Wonka Oompas candy…
  24. If you recall the Banquet chicken commercial with the hot chicken…
  25. If you recall the commercial with the stuck to the box pizza…
  26. If you ever drank Diet Rite cola…
  27. If you know what “Schweppervesent” means…
  28. If you remember Swanson Dinners and still eat their potpies..
  29. If you recall when Pringles were new fangled…
  30. If you know who Mrs. Fields is…
  31. If you think Dolly Madison snack cakes are named after Dolley Madison…
  32. If you know who quipped “good cracker”…
  33. If you know what tuna had their mascot looking for “good taste”…
  34. If you had a Charlie Tuna mug…
  35. If you have a Pillsbury Doughboy doll and poke its tummy…
  36. If you ever had the Goober Grape jelly and peanut butter combo in a jar…
  37. If you ever opened a can of pork and beans and had to search for the tiny piece of pork…
  38. If you remember the “Hostess is wholesome” commercials…
  39. If you know who the Jolly Green Giant is…
  40. If you know what’s “mmm mmm good”…
  41. If you know what choosy moms choose…
  42. If you recall the commercial with the chocolate bar bumping into the peanut butter…
  43. If your baloney has a first and last name…
  44. If you ever ate a fried baloney sandwich…
  45. If you ever ate butter on saltines…
  46. If you ever had turkey or tuna croquettes…
  47. If you made meatloaf on Mondays…
  48. If you ever ate ham loaf…
  49. If you ever had a hot beef sandwich with gravy fries…
  50. If you ever had lunch at the restaurant in Woolworth’s, you might just be a woman of a certain age…

At the Point S

At the Point S

At the Point S

Editor: I needed a break from Donald 2026.  So as a temporary escape from the minute by minute Trump coverage I went to the tire shop.

 

By D.S. Mitchell

It was time for an oil change and a tire rotation so I called and made an appointment for Friday at the Point S in Grants Pass. These folks are awesome on the kindness scale, and reasonable on the prices. I added on a bad tail light and a broken grab bar and a safety check when I got there. Anyway, I settled in for an hour plus wait. As I’m flippin’ through the old magazines in the lobby I spot a great article in the May 2024 Real Simple magazine. In the Get It Done section Erica Finamore & Hannah Baker offered 14 easy and inexpensive DIY home projects that have big impact for a very small investment in time and money.  I’m only going to pass on the 7 I liked the best. I just wish I had pictures. So here we go:

1.) Add attractive storage for those oversized cookbooks at the end of your kitchen island simply by adding a couple of shelves, then paint the new shelving a bright surprise color.

2.) Stencil the walls of a nook or entry area. It is important to choose a stencil with a registration mark, “these are the small design elements cut into the edge of the stencil that help you repeat the pattern evenly.” A big impact for a small space.

3.) Fake the art. If you’re hanging art over a sofa or buffet, the frame should be two thirds the width of the furniture.  Soooo, if you have an 8 foot couch the wall hanging should be about 5 feet, four inches wide. The height of the art is up to you. Once you decide how big your piece of art needs to be based on the above measurements its easy to create a giant piece of art. Maybe a colorful shower curtain stretched over a frame. In my case, I just went to the fabric store and found a bright ‘modern art’  piece of material and cut it and stapled the material on to a canvas stretcher. Voila! A real scene stealer.

4.) Replace the pantry door in your kitchen with an antique door, something to give the space a unique look.

5.) I love this one! Even if you aren’t an artist you can still project a design you like onto an exterior wall or even a shed wall, or maybe the pool house wall. Project the image you like onto that wall and with chalk out line the design in colors similar to the paint colors you will ultimately use. This will help you remember what color goes where. They suggest two coats of outdoor paint for the project, and a one inch brush for crisp sharp edges. A three or four inch brush is good for filling in the larger areas they suggest.

6.) Crown molding takes a plain jane room to a Parisian retreat. On this one I’d call my son. If you don’t have a carpenter in the family on speed dial you might want to find a licensed and bonded contractor.

7.) Let’s add beams to the ceiling. Hell, yeah, I say. Again, here’s where I’d call my son, or that licensed and bonded contractor. They don’t have to be big massive beams, smaller beams are lighter and easier to install. In fact, the writers suggest 2 x 6 cedar boards in long lengths to fully cross the ceiling width.

What fun. If you want pictures of the above projects go on line and check out the May 2024 edition of Real Simple magazine.

 

Spin

Spin

Spin

 

By John Curran

They want an update, so I’m gonna give ’em one. It’ll probably get revised, maybe I won’t care. Anyway it goes like this…My name is Tiny and I’m actually a tiny person. You mighta’ heard about us tiny people, probably didn’t believe it. I guess it does sound fantastic to most folks, but fact is we are the original peoples. We’ve been since forever but we’ve had to lay low and get real small going back to a long time ago when we could see the shitstorm that was coming. It’s true-we are 1/12 of the normal size. So, me, well I am, six inches high. So now you know.

A small point of all this for the present moment is I have access, you could say, a most unconventional vantage point on things, especially since I have acquired this cool little knock off drone ride around. Dude, I get everywhere and pretty much see everything these days, and remain, unseen. It’s great. Anyway, speaking of, I saw it. I was buzzing right directly overhead when that heavily suited up and armed mother fucker raised his big gun up and shot the woman right in the face through the windshield of her car as she was turning her wheel away from him and the others, just scared and trying to get away. Goddamn. I saw it all, yes sir, a million times now in my dreams, thanks a lot.  How’s that for spin? I’m gonna spin right on outa’ here now, get smaller and lay da’ fuck low, trying to be cool, and nobody knows my name.

Lots of Reasons to Smile

A Whole List of Reasons to Smile

A Whole Lot of Reasons to Smile

By D.S. Mitchell

 

It’s Raining 

It’s Sunday afternoon in fabulous Grants Pass, Oregon.  The rain has been relentless for the last 48 hours. Lilly the dog, is sprawled out on the back deck. Its covered. While she’s entertaining herself chewing on her favorite tennis ball a few rain resistant ducks are playing in the lake. Frustrated with the endless deluge I flip through the cable news shows. I’m a regular Sunday viewer of Meet The Press and Fareed Zakaria’s GPS. I wanted a nice peaceful weekend, my morning coffee along with the political news shows, a game of cribbage in the afternoon, an 8 pm movie with a friend to finish the day. Well, that whole plan is shot. Mostly due to the inclement weather. But, even if the weather didn’t suck Trump is doing more saber rattling in the direction of Venezuela, keeping everyone on edge.

Spoiled Child Drama

Trump is like a spoiled child demanding every moment of his mother’s attention. I do not intend to go off on a rant. I promise, but, it does make you think, his mom took him off the nipple to soon. Despite, Trumps narcissism and his constant attention seeking I think we need to get your mind, and my mine, off the American Tragedy playing out in front of our eyes.  So, my favorite distraction of the week, my Sunday version of a day-off, is imagining the simple things in life…those things that bring a quiet smile to the corners of your mouth.

Lots of Reasons to Smile:

1.) A Hummingbird at the garden feeder 2.) A day with no chores to do 3.) Left over spaghetti or cold pizza for breakfast. Yum Yum  4.) A chocolate “fix”  5.) The Nite Owl bar, Helena, MT  6.) A new mattress 7.)  A bedroom with a window seat  7.) A scarecrow dressed in Daddy’s old coveralls and straw hat  8.) Short grocery lines,  9.) A fresh bouquet of flowers  10.) Homemade Lemonade  11.) 1940’s Film Noir  12.) Watching young swallows learn the art of flight  13.) Painting the front door a bright vivid color  14.) Working a potter’s wheel  15.) Spontaneous hugs  16.) Forgetting the punch line of a joke  17.)  Libraries and librarians 18.) Using the dog to do left over clean up  19.) Fireworks  20.) Running boards on tall trucks  21.) The soft sound of a paddle cutting the water  22.) The patter of children’s feet  on hardwood floors  23.) Crater Lake, Oregon  24.) Clean as you go  25.) Gingerbread loaded with melted butter  26.) Forming a Foundation to help fund a cause  27.) Talking with intelligence instead of just blowing smoke  28.) River barges  29.) Crisp and juicy apples  30.) Doing a good job  31.) Rich, delicate French pastry  32.) Floating homes  33.) Listening to the sounds of the night  34.) A secret crush  35.) Spontaneous kisses  36.) Writing  37.) Fresh homemade bread  39.) The aroma of Honeysuckle and Daphne  40.) Cloth napkins with napkin rings  41.) The American flag  42.) Lettuce fresh from the garden  43.) My car after  the car wash  44.) Fessing up to an eff ‘up  45.) Honey Baked Ham  46.) A great painting found at a Thrift Store.  47.) Refreshing an old dresser with a coat of paint  48.) First ski run of the day  49.) Old English Sheepdogs  50.) Koala bears  51.) Rearranging the furniture for a party  52.) A banana split for two  53.) Travel magazines  54.) Swim meets  55.) Swans on Black Lake, Ilwaco, WA  56.) Wind across a field of wheat  57.) Twinkies  58.) New shoes  59.) Echoes  60.) The Olympics  61.) Mt. Vernon, VA  62.) Cheetahs in the wild 63.) Warm dry socks  64.) Mutts  65.) Sundance catalogues  66.) Buy one and get one free  67.) Making lists  68.)  Pinto ponies   69.) Sneakers without socks  70.) Unicorns and rainbows  71.) Picnic tables  72.) Owning an island  73.) Walking the railroad tracks  74.) Habitat For Humanity  75.) A team of horses  76.) Weeping Willow trees  77.) 3-D movies  78.) Political comics  79.) Lawn parties  80.) Laughing babies  81.) Getting a makeover  82.) Up with the dawn  83.) Weathered shutters on shingled beach cottages  84.) Hopscotch  85.) Night snowmobiling  86.) Hit that high note  87.) Playing Frisbee with the dog  88.) Blanket tents in the backyard  89.) Club sandwiches  90.) Being on time  91.) Woodstock  92.) Snoopy  93.) Earth Day  94.) Catching a man’s eye  95.) Dream catchers  96.) Dogs  97.) Revolving doors  98.) Retirement  99.) Winning a race  100.) Puget Island, WA.

Keep smiling. Don’t let the chaos of the Trump administration steal your joy.

Join the New Resistance

 

Women of a Certain Age-“Old School” Edition

Women of a Certain Age – “Old School” Edition

Women of a Certain Age – “Old School” Edition

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If your call math “arithmetic”, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you call mathematics new math…
  3. If you ever carried books in a strap…
  4. If your back to school wardrobe included Peter Pan collars and plaid…
  5. If sleepovers during the school year meant popcorn and a Frankie Avalon movie on network TV…
  6. If you had a Friday night party with a record player and bottles of Coke…
  7. If your birthday during the school year meant homemade cupcakes for the class…
  8. If you ever took a peanut butter fluff sandwich in your Scooby Doo lunch box…
  9. If you owned a Howdy Doody lunch pail…
  10. If you watched a happy tooth film strip…
  11. If you know what a film strip is…
  12. If you had a gym uniform that was a short jumpsuit in a shade of blue…
  13. If you wore white Keds with pom-pom socks (mine were pink)…
  14. If your cheerleading uniform didn’t expose your belly button…
  15. If Friday night football games were followed up at the malt shop…
  16. If you went on high school dates at the drive-in…
  17. If you know what activity was done in a rumble seat…
  18. If you participated in said activity in a rumble seat…
  19. If you participated in the same activity at the drive in…
  20. If you know what a rumble seat is…
  21. If you had a back-to-school Lilt perm, courtesy of your older sister or cousin…
  22. If you drove to school in a 1967 Mustang…
  23. If you know what a bobby soxer is…
  24. If you ever owned bobby socks…
  25. If you read Tiger Beat in the girls room at school…
  26. If students today read about your era in history books…
  27. If you carried mad money on dates during your high school or college years…
  28. If your sorority sisters wore pink foam rollers and half slips…
  29. If you ever wore pink foam rollers or half slips…
  30. If you know what a half slip is…

Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2026!

12 Days of Christmas Gone Rogue

12 Days of Christmas-Gone Rogue

 

12 Days of Christmas-Gone Rogue

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

1. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree…

What a cute little birdie and I do love fruit… Apparently, my dear true love forgot I have a cat. That little bird sure can fly fast when being chased by a feline. I had a devil of a time getting him down from where he landed on the chandelier. Then the little dickens ate the biggest pear off the tree, the one I was saving to make a tart. I put the tree and its occupant on my patio. Perhaps a basket of fruit from Harry and David with a partridge figurine from Wayfair would have been a more appropriate present…

  1. On the second day of Christmas my love gave to me, two turtle doves…

It appears my love is quite the birds enthusiast, but these “peaceful” little creatures have a mean streak. They attacked the poor partridge when I placed them on the patio. The feathers are flying here today.  The veterinary bill is being sent to my darling gift giver. How can one re-gift feathered creatures?

  1. More foul – hens! Three of them, and not for Christmas dinner, either. Three French Hens, complete with a tariff bill I had to pay before they were shipped, arrived today. I don’t have a hen house, and my patio is getting crowded…
  2. The man with whom I share some affection sure is a bird lover. Today I received four squawking, er, I mean calling birds. These birds certainly need their own cell phones. My patio is beginning to look a lot like an aviary. Has this man not heard of Zales? My dear seems to forget I work from home…
  3. Finally, my true love sent jewelry – five lovely stackable gold rings. Maybe a diamond bracelet or earrings is in my future, in place of our winged friends…
  4. More feathered friends. Six geese-a-laying eggs all over my carpet. Perhaps my love is hinting he would like to come over for an omelet. I know eggs prices have soared, but this is a bit overkill…
  5. Enough with the birds already – my boyfriend sent seven more avians. Apparently my condo association has a rule about seven swans-a-swimming in the community jacuzzi. Who knew such a codicil existed? Perhaps my next gift will be a consultation with an attorney, and I will be seeking the services of a realtor in the new year. This has been a challenging week, thanks to my guy. I sincerely hope he doesn’t acquire a fondness for rodents…
  6. Well, at least no more birds. The gentlemen with whom a bit of affection is shared sent me eight maids carrying empty milk jugs, since I don’t have a cow. Perhaps tomorrow’s gift will involve bovine. I do love me some fat free milk but really, a grocery gift card would be much more appropriate here. These alleged maids did a terrible job with the kitchen and bathroom; they did nothing for my egg stained rug, either…
  7. Now there is a ballet going on in my living room. Nine ladies are dancing their hearts out here – I had to move the furniture out of the way. I am sending them and the maids to a motel for the night. My friend with benefits is getting an invoice for the Uber and accompanying accommodations…
  8. My friend without benefits has now sent ten lords-a-leaping. These men in tights already knocked over a table, broke a floor lamp, and scared my dog, who was already quite traumatized from all the birds and women that keep arriving. Another trip to the veterinary clinic…
  9. More noise in the form of eleven pipers piping in my dining room; my acquaintance really needs to choose gifts more wisely. Has this dude never heard of Sephora or Macy’s? I am amazed at what one can purchase on eBay or Amazon…
  10. Even more noise for my frenzy – a dozen drummers to give me a raging migraine. I flew the coup and filed a restraining order against lunatic “true love”.

 

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone – hope my gift of laughter made you smile this holiday season…

 

Women of a Certain Age-Thanksgiving Edition

Women of a Certain Age Thanksgiving Edition

Women of a Certain Age-Thanksgiving Edition

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you still the baste the turkey with butter, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you make dressing stuffed inside the bird without fear of salmonella, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you call it pumpkin pie seasoning, not pumpkin spice, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If you don’t understand why there is a pumpkin spice latte, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you wear a ruffled apron to take the turkey out of the oven, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you make your own green bean casserole, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you don’t understand why an already deceased cooked turkey needs to rest, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you have no idea what the hell a tofurky is, nor do you want to, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If you start stocking up on canned pumpkin beginning November 1st, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If you make mashed potatoes from scratch, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you know a way to slice cranberry sauce to camouflage the can indentations, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you recall the first Butterball turkey talk line, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you remember the first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, well, your certainly of a very certain age – happy 100th birthday to that iconic celebration…
  14. If your Thanksgiving table has polished silver, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If your Thanksgiving table has starched and ironed linens, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If your Thanksgiving table has fine bone china and crystal stemware, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If your Thanksgiving table includes refrigerated crescent rolls from a poppable can, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you join the men watching football only after the dishes are washed, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you make stuffing by cutting up four loaves of bread a couple days before the holiday and then let them get stale, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you have no idea what umami is and don’t want it on your Thanksgiving table, you might be a woman of a certain age…

You Still Might be a Woman of a Certain Age

You May be a Woman of a Certain Age 

You May be a Woman of a Certain Age 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you were and are a Charlie Girl, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you know how to use a pencil to dial a rotary phone and save your manicure
  3. If you know what a rotary dial phone is, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  4. If you watched Scooby Doo on Saturday mornings while eating Fruit Loops
  5. If you know who, not what the Banana Splits are, you just might be a woman of a certain age.
  6. If you know the lyrics to the Archies “Sugar, Sugar”
  7. If you know who the Archies are
  8. If you know who Caroline Keene is
  9. If you know who Nancy Drew is
  10. If you know who Franklin W. Dixon is
  11. If you know who the Hardy Boys are
  12. If you know who Gertrude Chandler Warner is you just might be a woman of a certain age.
  13. If you know who the Boxcar Children are
  14. If you “wear a Coke and a smile”
  15. If you ordered a Peter Pan collared blouse from the Sears Roebuck catalog
  16. If you had a Montgomery Ward credit card and called it a “charge-a-plate”
  17. If you ever owned a transistor radio or portable record player
  18. If you watched America Bandstand every week
  19. If you know who Dick Clark was
  20. If you shopped at Thom McCann for platform shoes you just might be a woman of a certain age.
  21. If you still own bell bottoms but were never in the Navy
  22. If you know who Barnaby Jones was
  23. If you know who Buddy Ebsen was
  24. If you know who Lee Merriweather is
  25. If you call Uber and Lyft taxi cabs
  26. If you call 7-11 the corner store
  27. If you know what a penny arcade was
  28. If you remember “Me and my RC”
  29. If your spell checker was made by Miriam Webster
  30. If you know who Miriam Webster was
  31. If you attended the Barbizon School of Modeling
  32. If you attended John Robert Powers Finishing School you just might be a woman of a certain age.
  33. If you know what modeling and finishing schools are
  34. If you attended White Gloves and Party Manners classes at a local department store
  35. If you ever owned white gloves that weren’t for winter
  36. If you ever went through the Red Door
  37. If you read “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” in school
  38. If you had a color plastic sheet that went over your bunny eared black and white TV set
  39. If you had a silver metallic Christmas tree with a multi-color light wheel
  40. If you think retro and vintage are the latest fashions, you just might be a woman of a certain age.

 

Vol.119