Women Of A Certain Age

Women Of A Certain Age

We are Survivors of a hell of a lot. . . .

Women of a Certain Age, are survivors

Women Of A Certain Age

We are Survivors

By Anna Hessel

We Survived 

4 years of “The Donald”. Shoulder pads. Bouffant hair. Bodysuits that snapped down there. Mullets. We survived 45. Eighties fashions; including spandex and neon. Girdles that were never Spanx. Fighting for the ERA – we continue to survive this one. Thigh cream. Trump “presidency.” Platform shoes. Bell bottom pants that did nothing for our bottoms.

Nair For Short Shorts

Short shorts themselves. We survived 45 (and I’m not talking about the age…). Push up bras – some of us are still surviving this one. Aerobics classes at the ladies gym in brightly colored leg warmers. Jelly sandals. Ironing our hair with clothing irons. “That” administration. Velcro hair rollers (I actually still use mine!). Setting our hair on orange juice cans. Class photos, precursor to drivers license photos. Drinking from the garden hose.

The Trumpster

Suntans courtesy of baby oil and iodine with no SPF in sight. Junior High, High School, and College. Many of us survived childbirth, terrible twos, and raising teenagers. Gym class in uniforms that resembled prison garb. “Agent Orange.”  Powder Puff football games. Cheerleading skirts. Pageants with swimsuit competitions. Bridesmaid dresses. Rotary dial phones. Land lines. Twenty-six foot telephone cords. Beepers, and pay phones. Polyester pantsuits. 4 years of “The Family”. Paisley floral prints. Granny boots with ruffled dresses.

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Humor: 10 Places We’d Like To Haunt

HALLOWEEN HUMOR:

10 Places We’d Like To Haunt

By D. S. Mitchell 

I was talking to David Shadrick recently and asked him what he wanted done with his remains after he died. Dave said he wanted to be buried. I volunteered that I wanted to be cremated. Dave asked me if I believed in ghosts. I told him, no. He laughed and said he wondered what it would be like to be able to haunt whatever place or whatever person you wanted. 

We could make this a party game, I thought. The only rule is that participants must say the first thing that comes to mind when asked, “where do you want to haunt?”

The following are some places we decided we wanted to haunt.

#1)  Area 51

#2)  The Nestle’s Chocolate Factory

#3)  Bicycle seats

#4)  Disneyland

#5)  Food Network Studio

#6)  Marvel Studio

#7)  WWE dressing room (Roman Reigns, yes!)

#8)  The VA Help Desk

#9)  The International Space Station

#10) Shower Rooms at the local college

Happy Halloween 2020!

 

WTF Moments

I am still connected via media

Despite the government order to stay at home, I am still connected to the world via newspaper, wi-fi, streaming TV, Facebook, Twitter and cell phone.

WTF Moments

D. S. Mitchell

Staying Connected

Despite being on “stay home, stay safe” orders; I am still attached to the world via newspaper, cable television, Twitter, wi-fi and cell phone. Things are coming at me too fast and too furious for my liking. I am bobbing and weaving, when I should be writing, researching, petitioning and organizing.

Task Force

I watched the Trumpster conduct another overly long and contentious Coronavirus Task Force press briefing this afternoon. Trump, was arguing and fighting with the reporters. Insulting their race, their intent, and their talent. At one point, Trump pushed Dr. Fauci aside, telling a reporter to stop asking “the same question.”  “He’s answered that question, fifteen times.”

The Question

I read some place when you hire a clown, expect a circus..

A clever person once said, “elect a clown, expect a circus.”

The question reporters and the public keep asking is why is Trump touting the  unapproved anti-malarial medication, hydroxycloroquine for coronavirus treatment?  If these briefings were ever informative they have dissolved into what one reporter described as a “three-ring circus with Trump as the deranged ringmaster”. This is what happens when a narcissist takes over the government of a country.

Trump Circus

Watching the now daily Trump “circus” via television is like so many of those other WTF moments I’ve experienced during my life. I’ve thought how things, common things, deliver a “doesn’t that figure moment.” So, I decided that maybe, just for laughs, I should point out some of the those WTF moments. Here are a few that I came up with. I’m sure everyone has a list of their own.

Here’s Those WTF Moments:

  1. Having a bathroom so close to the living room that anybody sitting on my couch can hear my urine splashing in the toilet bowl.
  2. Knowing that I was doing 85 in a 70 mile per hour zone with no plausible or believable explanation.
  3. People whose only contribution to the political conversation is, “Lock her up.”
  4. Accidentally setting my alarm for 3 a.m. instead of 8 a.m.
  5. When the only thing in the fridge is a bottle of Perrier and two empty ice trays.
  6. Not finding toilet paper on three visits to the grocery store.
  7. Realizing that I am center brained.
  8. When some old lady yells at me from across the street, “Why don’t you get a job?”
  9. Finding out my significant other hid my birthday gift in the pocket of the old coat I packed up yesterday and sent to the Goodwill.
  10. A dog that only comes when it wants to.
  11. Having a strong physical attraction to John Heilemann and Steve Schmidt.
  12. Knowing that bullies are often financially successful, or sentenced to life plus 30 years.
  13. Trying to stop thinking about every word I said in that nasty argument.
  14. Realizing that I was in all black the last time I saw him, and all black again, today.
  15. When I start thinking about what I’ll have for lunch at 7 a.m.
  16. The last day of my vacation, getting grounded in Iceland and can’t return to the U.S. because the country has suspended flights from the UK.
  17. Knowing that “I don’t know,” is not an acceptable answer.
  18. Suddenly realizing who I am talking to on the phone, isn’t who I thought I was talking to.
  19. Saving 100’s of old decorating magazines, because I may decide to redecorate.
  20. Keeping a secret, only to find out that everybody else already knows the secret.
  21. Going to a movie made from a great book and after the showing wondering why someone wasted so much money to ruin something beautiful.
  22. Aware that serial murder guarantees instant fame.
  23. When Tonya Harding is the most famous person I’ve ever met.
  24. When my cell phone reception is so bad I have to hang out the dining room window to talk to my son fifteen miles away.
  25. Knowing that $20.00 won’t cover a 4 oz bottle of hand sanitizer.

Trump Crazy

My list of WTF moments are really just daily irritations and small injustices. Most are funny and a bit annoying, but not life threatening.  I wish I could say the same about what I am hearing come out of the mouth of Donald Trump. I am convinced more every day, that he is the most dangerous president we have ever had.

RESIST, it is more important today that ever before.

26 Fascinating, But Useless Facts

26 Fascinating, But Useless Facts

By D.S. Mitchell

 

1. Marilyn Monroe, the 1950-1960 sex goddess, had 6 toes on one of her feet. See. None of us are perfect.

2. Did you know a cockroach can live for up to nine days without a head, until it starves to death? Who knew?

3. An Ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

4. Women blink twice as often as men.

5, No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

6. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Thank God! Man and woman lived on this planet for 200,000 years before someone invented scissors. They seem so basic, so necessary. How did people live before scissors? Amazing.on so many levels.

7. Our noses and ears never stop growing, while our eyes remain the same size for life.

8. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

9. Whether protesting or electioneering, petitions can serve as important democratic tools, such as when  California governor, Gray Davis was recalled in 2003.  Arnold Schwarzenegger famous body builder and movie action hero took his place in Sacramento.

10. Some species of piranhas are vegetarians, while all butterflies are carnivores.

11. The most shoplifted book in America is the Bible. I wonder what that says about us as a society?

12. Rats can tread water for three days without stopping.

13. All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction were stuck on 4:20.  I know what 4:20 means to me. I wonder if it means the same to Tarantino? Probably. Sit back, light up.

14. Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue.

15. There are 13 witches in a coven.

16. Abraham Lincoln’s first choice to lead the Union Army was Robert E. Lee.

17. “E” is the most used letter in the English alphabet. “Q” is the least used letter.

18. Fingernails grow 4 times faster than toenails.

19. November 15th is National Clean Your Refrigerator Day.

20. Cleopatra was Greek (Ptolemy), not Egyptian.

21. The colder your bedroom the higher the chance of having a nightmare.

22.  Cornelius Vanderbilt was born a farmer’s son who left school at age 11 and despite his lack of                education went on to become the richest man of 19th century America.

23. Oprah Winfrey, a black woman raised by her grandmother, sent to juvenile detention at 13, an unwed mother at 14. Oprah went on to TV stardom and stratospheric wealth in the 20th century.

24. The most common spoken word around the world is “O.K., ok, okay, or, k”  It can be heard from New York City to the tiniest rain forest village.

25. “Jiffy” is an actual unit of time. So when Mom says she’ll be there in a “jiffy” she really means in 1/100th of a second.

26. It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce……and 13 hours to build a Toyota.

Okay, there you go. 26 Tidbits of Fascinating and Useless Information. Use it as you will.

Take A Leap, Celebrating Leap Day

Take a Leap, Celebrate Leap Day

By D. S. Mitchell and Joe DiBartolomeo

The First Leap Year

The first leap year originated in 46 B.C. when Julius Caesar learned from the astronomer Sosigenes of Alexandra that the 355 day Roman calendar was about 10 1/4 days shorter than the solar calendar. Caesar took action and introduced the 365 day year Julian calendar, and added an intercalary day-Leap Day-every four years to cover the extra 1/4 day.

In Two Hundred Years

It wouldn’t be for another 200 years that astronomers would discover the calendar system was still about 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 46 seconds short. No new changes would be made until 1582 when Pope Gregory XIII introduced a better method for calculating Leap Year. This method has become the system we use today, and it led to February 29th being designated as the standard Leap Day.

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Athletes Say The Damnedest Things

Athletes Say The Damnedest Things

D. S. Mitchell

Sunday Mornings

Another lazy, Sunday morning at www.calamitypolitics.com No surprise, say you. I am officially declaring, ‘Layed Back Sunday’. It’s great sometimes, being the boss, even if it’s only me, Dave, Jane and our office support dog, Lily. Thinking about political theory, political science, political reality, political bullshit, on a daily basis tends to sour anyone’s personality. But, not TODAY!

Play Day

I’ve declared it an official ‘play day’. If you are a baseball, soccer, wrestling or football fan you are one of millions of fans, nationwide. Sports figures can be heroes, villains, martyrs and often, comedians. And some of them are damned funny. Intentionally, or unintentionally. Today, there will be no political discussion, there will be no analysis, there will be no relevant comment, other than to read what some well-known athletes have had to say about the state of things. So, here goes:

Athletes Say The Damnedest Things

Mike Tyson:  Responding to a question about his retirement plans:  “Fade into Bolivian, I guess.”     Joe Theismann: “The term genius is inapplicable to anyone in this game.  A genius is Norman Einstein.” Pedro Guerrero:  About his relationship with the press, “Sometimes they write what I say, not what I mean.”   Chuck Nevitt:  On why he appeared nervous:  “My sister is having a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an aunt or an uncle.”    Yogi Berra:  “It gets late early out here.”    George Foreman:  “There’s more to boxing than hitting.  There’s not getting hit, for instance.”   George Roberts:  “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”   Tug McGraw:  “Always root for the winner.  That way you won’t be disappointed.”    Don King:  He (Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual.”    Dizzy Dean:  The doctor X-rayed my head and found nothing.    Bill Cowher:  On whether the Steelers bent NFL regulations: “We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.”

Thanks again, Rod L. Evans, Ph.D. quotes taken from his book, Tyrannosaurus Lex.

Join the Resistance. Support 2020 Democratic candidates by volunteering your time and your money. Make your progressive voice heard. Don’t you dare sit home and complain. Get off your butt and get Democrats elected across the country.

25 Tidbits Of Useless Information

By D.S. Mitchell

Poll Numbers

I am well aware that there is breaking news. As if Thursday June 20th, 2019 would be any different from yesterday, or any day last week.  Yesterday, the Iranians shot down a 130 million dollar American drone and Hope Hicks refused to talk to the House Judiciary Committee. Today as I wait for Trump to let us know what he is going to do about the drone attack I see a poll result from Gallop, or somebody, cross the television screen. Without surprise I see  that 57% of Americans believe we need a new president.  I hope Trump doesn’t think war will get his poll numbers up.

Some Distraction

In this age of craziness I think the world needs a bit of distraction. I love useless information and thought I would share some useless information with my readers today, instead of writing something topical and newsworthy. So, here goes.

25 tidbits of useless information:

1.) Did you know a cockroach can live for up to nine days without a head, until it starves to death? Who knew.

2.) An Ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. While we are on the subject of the Ostrich, did you know that Ostrich’s have only two toes on each foot?

3.) Marilyn Monroe, the 1950-1960 sex goddess, had 6 toes on one of her feet. See. None of us are perfect.

4.) Women blink twice as often as men do.

5.) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

6.) Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Thank God! Man and woman lived on this planet for 200,000 years before someone invented scissors. They seem so basic, so necessary. How did people live without scissors? Amazing, on so many levels.

7.) Our noses and ears never stop growing, while our eyes remain the same size for life.

8.) A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

9.) Some species of piranhas are vegetarians, while all butterflies are carnivores.

10.) The most shoplifted book in America is the Bible. I wonder what that says about us as a society?

11.) Rats can tread water for three days without stopping.

12.) All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction were stuck on 4:20.  I know what 420 means to me. I wonder if it means the same to Tarantino? Probably. Sit back, light up.

13.) Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue.

14.) There are 13 witches in a coven.

15.) Abraham Lincoln’s first choice to lead the Union Army was Robert E. Lee.

16,) “E” is the most used letter in the English alphabet. “Q” is the least used letter.

17.) Fingernails grow 4 times faster than toenails.

18.) November 15th is National Clean Your Refrigerator Day

19.) Cleopatra was Greek (Ptolemy), not Egyptian

20.) The colder your bedroom the higher the chance of having a nightmare.

21.)  Cornelius Vanderbilt was born a farmer’s son who left school at age 11 and despite his lack of education went on to become the richest man of 19th century America.

22.) Oprah Winfrey, a black woman raised by her grandmother, sent to juvenile detention at 13, an unwed mother at 14 (to a child who died). Oprah went on to TV stardom and stratospheric wealth in the 20th century.

23.) The most common spoken word around the world is “O.K., ok, okay, or, k”  It can be heard from New York City to the tiniest rain forest village.

24.) “Jiffy” is an actual unit of time. So when Mom says she’ll be there in a “jiffy” she really mean 1/100th of a second.

25.) It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce……and 13 hours to build a Toyota.

Okay, there you go. 25 Tidbits of Useless Information. Use it as you will.