Women of a Certain Age-Old School Edition

Women of a Certain Age – “Old School” Edition

Women of a Certain Age – “Old School” Edition

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you ever pinched your cheeks or bit your lips in an effort to add a rosy glow to your face, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you have ordered from Ronco…
  3. If you ever owned or used a bedazzler…
  4. If you ever blotted your lipstick on a tissue…
  5. If Jean Nate is your go to fragrance…
  6. If you ever used Youth Dew and call it simply Estee Lauder…
  7. If you know that Youth Dew started as a bath oil…
  8. If you think a Zoom do is not an online meeting. And who remembers the PBS show?
  9. If you wear Odyssey by Avon…
  10. If you wear Imari by Avon…
  11. If you think 74 year old Pierce Brosnan is young and sexy…
  12. If you are as old as the Pillsbury Doughboy…
  13. If you used anything made by Bonne Bell cosmetics…
  14. If you had a puka shell necklace…
  15. If you ever wore double belts and stirrup pants…
  16. If you ever wore a body suit with snaps…
  17. If you wore Charlie perfume and know the color variations the fragrance came in…
  18. If you ever pressed your long locks with a clothing Iron…
  19. If you ever wore shoulder pads but were not a powder puff football player…
  20. If you still wear Sweet Honesty fragrance by Avon…
  21. If you ever made and used an egg white mask…
  22. If you wash your face with Dove beauty bar for “soft dewy skin”…
  23. If if you use honey as a face mask…
  24. If you ever used Queen Helene Mint Julep mask…
  25. If you were ever long and silky or short and sassy – my husband claims that I am still short and sassy…

Happy New Year, everyone – ladies, we definitely still have style…

 

Women of a Certain Age-Yet Again…

Women of a Certain Age – Yet Again…

Women of a Certain Age-Yet Again…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you had a latch hook shag rug in colors of orange, yellow, and chocolate brown, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you had a macrame plant hanger and a bead curtain in your first apartment…
  3. If you remember some of the shows on “When Radio Was” when they originally ran…
  4. If you know exactly what “You’ll shoot your eye out” means…
  5. If you ever sent or received a telegram…
  6. If you read Dennis the Menace or Mary Worth comic strips in a print newspaper…
  7. If you still read and enjoy a print newspaper…
  8. If you wore puka shells…
  9. If you used Short and Sassy shampoo and conditioner…
  10. If you remember the advertisement that read, “The only important things you wear are your jeans and your hair”…
  11. If you remember “Curlers in your hair, shame on you”…
  12. If you own curlers that don’t heat up or plug in…
  13. If your boyfriend had a Mustang muscle car…
  14. If you know who “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” is…
  15. If you ever ate in a Pizza Hut with a salad bar…
  16. If you recall when bell bottoms and platform shoes were in fashion…
  17. If you ever bought a cup of coffee for a quarter, or even 50 cents…
  18. If you remember “You deserve a break today” and “At McDonald’s, it’s clean” commercials…
  19. If you ever got change back from a dollar at McDonald’s…
  20. If you ever shopped at a five and dime store…
  21. If you know what a five and dime store is…
  22. If you ever ate at a Woolworth restaurant…
  23. If you remember the original dollar stores…
  24. If you paid six dollars for your first concert ticket…
  25. If you ever wore gloves and a hat on a regular basis…
  26. If you remember Woodstock the concert, not just the bird…
  27. If you remember “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too…you’d cry too if it happened to you”…
  28. If you still own leg warmers and a double skinny belt…
  29. If you miss big hair, beehives and Aquanet…
  30. If you long for Dippity Do and DEP…
  31. If you ever used a hairspray called FREEZE…
  32. If you owned a smocked tunic top to wear over jeans…
  33. If you still wear Jean Nate body splash…
  34. If you still wear Sweet Honesty perfume…
  35. If you ever used Youth Dew bath oil…
  36. If you still use Prell Shampoo…
  37. If you love a good “Skybar”…
  38. If you know what a “Skybar” is…
  39. If you still bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan (of course, the bacon you bring home is still less than your male counterpart)…
  40. If you saw an Alfred Hitchcock film in a theater…
  41. If you remember theaters that had only one screen…
  42. If you would give anything for a Tab on ice…
  43. If you know what a Tab is…
  44. If a flower behind your ear was an elegant touch…
  45. If you know the lyrics to all the Carol King and Carol Bayer Sager songs…
  46. If you remember original Orange Julius drinks and Dilly Bars…
  47. If you know exactly what “One Adam Twelve” means…
  48. If you support and respect the older gentleman that authored the Violence Against Women Act and gave us our first female VP…
  49. If Dr. Jill Biden is your role model…
  50. If you weathered the rain and the sun marching for Girls in Sports, reproductive freedom, and ERA…

You Might Just Be A Woman Of A Certain Age

You Might Just Be A Woman Of A Certain Age

If you can remember clip on ear rings and phone booths, you just may be a woman of a certain age.

You Might Just Be a Woman of a Certain Age

By Anna Hessel

 

If you have ever worn clip earrings, or even know what clip earrings are…you might be a woman of a certain age.

If your hairdo (or your boyfriend’s) was a party in the back and business in the front…

If you have ever done anything in a phone booth…

If you know what a phone booth is or what it has to do with Superman…

If you used Tickle deodorant…

If you have ever worn shoulder pads when not playing powder puff football…

If you have a landline, had a landline, or even know what a landline is…

If you had a Princess or Trimline phone…

If you ever used a phone book…

If you ever used a clothing iron or frozen orange juice cans to fix your hair…

If you ever drank Tab, or know what Tab is…

If you ever served a Swanson Pot Pie for dinner…

If you refer to Lean Cuisine or the like as a TV dinner…

If you ever wore sequin mesh boots from Desperately Seeking Susan…

If you saw Desperately Seeking Susan on opening weekend…

If you ever had a Bianca Blast or used a Maybelline Kissing Potion before a date…

If you even know what a Bianca Blast is…

If you got peanut butter in somebody’s chocolate, or vice versa…

if you remember Madge the manicurist…

If you know what a manicurist is…

If you ever had a glass or half-moon manicure…

If you used baby oil with iodine to get a tan…

If you ever smoked an Eve…

(please note, I am NOT advocating the iodine, baby oil, or the Eves!)

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