Jeopardy

Jeopardy

Jeopardy

 

By John Curran

 

Yeah I used to be kind of a news junkie, more like a news nerd actually, but truthfully now its come to such a point that I am just losing interest, brother. Not that I ain’t there. Make no mistake concerning the big picture, when that clarion trumpet calls, I will be there. But for now, and its not more than a sad reflection of the times, that I find my mind wandering now and wondering how many minutes until Jeopardy. I used to love Jeopardy, I’m finding that now, I still do. And ya know, Jeopardy is, has been, and probably always will be, just the greatest damn game show ever. But there was a time, going back to just the last year and for the three years preceding, so four years back, when I was living my life without Jeopardy.

I had no TV. It was a magic time, a time when I became re-inspired as a painter and was again feeling it and doing real serious stuff. It was great. Really great. See I’d left my old place in Texas feeling kind of  burned out after a long number of years there. I’d been doing painting there. I’d been in a great Art program and had been doing good work with this group, even making money selling, complete validation, the pride of that. But real art reflects off the real life I feel and towards the end of all these years in Austin I was getting stale. The life was getting stale in many ways correspondingly. When a problem came about at this time with my local housing arrangement, I jumped at the chance to make a change. And so, not knowing nothing or nobody I came up here to Portland, Oregon and was provided with a decent little one bedroom single guy apartment in an area spinoff of the main metropolis. A small apartment complex, it had kids, that was new. A lot of these places don’t allow kids, or so it seems. It was a small place and what with that it soon became common knowledge that I was a painter. A like artist guy. That definitely raised some eyebrows, people be funny, but it didn’t bother me as far as my work was concerned. I was suddenly so totally back again into what was really some of my best painting ever.

The Afghan sisters who to me were the most beautiful girls I had ever seen, a lineage that carries on in spite of a sad history of repression. I love the way their large family, four girls, two older brothers, mother and father, carried on in their Muslim traditions in the midst now of living in this the modern American society. I was inspired by their obvious love for each other as a family and I’ll say this, the beauty of the Afghan woman is ….Anyway, the two middle sisters came to me early on and they had two paintings that they had done. I think one painted the pizza pie and one painted the cat. They wanted to see if I wanted to buy them. I really did like the cat, it was amateurish but yet…there was something there and hey, what’s five dollars for a piece of original art, acrylic on canvas? The other, naw, but both were pretty good. Ya start somewhere. I’ve still got the cat. It’s a sort of a centerpiece, people comment on it, how like what a great painting it is. I think so too.

 

40 Reasons To Smile

40 Reasons To Smile

40 Reasons To Smile

D. S. Mitchell

Relish Routine

Here at Calamity Politics, a Wednesday is pretty much the same as a Friday, or a Sunday.  I’m not complaining. In fact, I relish it. I am an individual that loves routine. Up at 5:00, in the pool @5:45, walk the dog at 7:30, coffee @8:30. @9:00 I start scanning the internet for breaking news on the Trump fiasco, going on in the White House. I turn on CNN or MSNBC to get their view of the situation. If it’s a big scandal, I’ll turn on FOX to get their spin. I usually leave the TV playing in the background. You get the idea.

Things That Make Me Smile

But, at least once a week, I stop, and consciously think about how blessed I am, and all the things in life that make me happy; those things that never fail to bring a smile to my face.  Here’s 40 Things That Made Me Smile Today:

  1.  Painting old furniture; giving something old a new life
  2.  Danish Brie and California Chardonnay
  3.  New shoes; makes me want to dance
  4.  Nap time
  5.  Visiting the Planetarium
  6.  Palladian style windows, a whisper of elegance
  7.  Flower baskets in bloom
  8.  The Celtic Cross
  9.  My dog, Lily
  10.  Whales and elephants
  11.  A box of old black and white photos, worth more than gold to see my daddy again
  12.  Taking a Community College class and pulling an A
  13.  Towel warmers in the bathroom
  14.   Reading my daily horoscope
  15.   The Bobble-Head toys in the back window of my friend’s car
  16.   The newspaper. A real newspaper, one that I touch, that I unfold, that I read over coffee
  17.   Street musicians
  18.   YSL Black Opium, perfume
  19.   Glass bowl filled with sun bleached shells
  20.   Three-day week-ends
  21.   My new iPhone
  22.   Wall size antique mirrors
  23.   The delicate beauty of Orchids
  24.   Travel magazines
  25.   Roller coasters
  26.   Drawstring sweat pants
  27.   Little boxes of Sunshine raisins
  28.   Hummingbirds feeding in my garden
  29.   Patsy Cline on my play list
  30.   The muted colors of Madras fabric
  31.   Holding a baby in my arms
  32.   Sharing a banana split with a calorie counting friend
  33.   A handmade greeting card
  34.   Author book signings
  35.   Reading scandal magazines at the grocery checkout stand
  36.   Having help with a big job, four hands are always better than two, if you have six, all the better
  37.   My kitchen junk drawer
  38.   Wrist corsage
  39.  Pagodas in the mist
  40.  Fog horns in the night

The  Protests Go On

I’m about to go watch the kids fly their kites. It is just about a perfect day for kite flying; clear sky, great breeze and a strangely lonely beach for this time of year.   Have a great week, and remember we always have time, to smile. I’m hoping that while you are grinning ear-to-ear you are busy planning for the July 17, 2025, “Good Trouble Lives On” protest. Make a new sign, The protest will be the fifth national day of protest against the Trump administration. The protest will also honor Civil Rights activist icon, congressman, John Lewis. Turn out; make your voices heard. No cuts to Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, VA benefits, SNAP or Child Tax Credits. Call your congressman/woman tell them to stop the Big Ugly Bill.

Join the New Resistance

More Woman of a Certain Age Wisdom, Vol 112

More Woman of a Certain Age Wisdom, Vol 112

Woman of a Certain Age Wisdom, Vol 112

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1.   If you recall the opening of the first drive through in the area, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If Jean Nate, Youth Dew, Chanel Number Five, Sweet Honesty, Love’s Baby Soft, or Charlie are your favorite fragrances…
  3. If you have been to a drive-in movie on date night…
  4. If you know what a rumble seat is…
  5. If your date ever ran out of gas…or had a flat tire…
  6. If you know where Superman changed his clothes…
  7. If you ever used a pay phone…
  8. If you know what a toll call was…
  9. If you had a long distance calling plan…
  10. If you still have a landline…
  11. If you know what a landline is…or a party line…
  12. If you used Noxzema to wash your face, Sea Breeze to tone and Clearasil cream…
  13. If you ever pinched your cheeks in lieu of blusher…
  14. If you refer to blusher as rouge…
  15. If you have been using Maybelline Great Lash Mascara since you were a teenager…
  16. If you had an original Baby Alive or Susie Cute doll…
  17. If you had an original Barbie, Ken, Midge, or Alan doll…
  18. If your first car was a Mustang…
  19. If you attended the Barbizon or Powers School of Modeling and Finishing…
  20. If you know that a permanent wave is actually a perm…
  21. If you can sing and do the dance steps to the “Who wears short shorts, Nair for short shorts” jingle…
  22. If you still use cold cream or rose milk lotion…
  23. If you take Geritol vitamins…
  24. If you recall when hair mousse first came on the scene…
  25. If you call flip flops thongs…
  26. If you own a bathing cap, especially one with a rubber pink or orange flower…
  27. “Curlers in your hair, shame on you” – if you own curlers that don’t heat…
  28. If you ever made a jello mold…
  29. If you ever set your hair with flat beer…or rolled your hair on those super size cans…
  30. If you ever used a homemade egg white facial mask….

Women of a Certain Age-January 2025

Women of a Certain Age-January 2025

Women of a Certain Age – January 2025 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1.  If you call Lean Cuisine a TV dinner, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you know who Papa Bauer is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you are no longer young but still restless, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If you ever wore curlers under a scarf to the A&P, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you ever shopped at the A&P, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you ever wore a Peter Pan collar, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you know what a Peter Pan collar is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you ever wore Mary Janes and know that Mary Jane was Lucy’s sidekick, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If your hair was ever as big as Texas, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If you are a fan of Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you can name the tune that starts out “Hey, Hey”, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you ever carried a plastic rain bonnet in a small pouch in your purse, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you ever owned a collapsible drinking cup (mine was pink), you might be a woman of a certain age…
  14. If you feel undressed without a hat, pearls, and gloves, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If you call fat-free milk, skim milk, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If you still use a Day Runner and physical address book, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If you ever baked a tunnel of fudge cake for the holidays, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you ever owned Sarah Coventry jewelry, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you know who Sarah Coventry is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you call flight attendants, stewardesses, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  21. If you call administrative assistants, secretaries, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  22. If you know what razor company’s name says “Merry Christmas”, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  23. If you ever had a pet rock, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  24. If you ever did a Zoom do, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  25. If you ever received a Whitman Sampler for Valentine’s Day, you might be a woman of a certain age…

Re-Branding the World Map

Re-Branding the World Map

Re-Branding the World Map

 

By D.S. Mitchell

I don’t know if it’s true but someone in the front office of the British Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, stated in a press release on Saturday that he  would be changing the name of the Atlantic Ocean. The PM proposed the following moniker for the Atlantic Ocean, “England’s great big fucking pond.” His other proposed name changes include changing the name of the Bering Sea to honor Elizabeth II. He thinks it makes sense to rename it  the Queen Elizabeth Sea. And while he’s at it the Prime Minister,  apparently has also decided to rename Niagara Falls. The new name will be King Charles’ Falls.

It wasn’t ten minutes later that I heard more news on the escalating battle of name changes. King Willem-Alexander, of the Netherlands, entered the fray declaring his intent to rename the City of America, Netherlands, population 2,200 to Juarez, Netherlands. Now these people aren’t just mocking Trump, they are mocking all of us for being dumb enough to give Trump a second chance to destroy the country.

A Woman of a Certain Age: Political Edition

A Woman of a Certain Age :

                      The Political Edition…

 

A Woman of a Certain Age:

                     The Political Edition…

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1. If you campaigned for Shirley Chisholm, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you know who Shirley Chisholm is…
  3. If you brought a folding chair to the table…
  4. If you campaigned for Mondale/Ferrara…
  5. If you’re not going back
  6. If you voted against Reaganomics…
  7. If you know what Reaganomics is,  just think “trickle down.”
  8. If you think President Biden is a hottie…
  9. If you think Donald Trump is a hottie, ewwwww – you actually need a comprehensive eye exam, at the very least…
  10. If you’re not going back…
  11. If you stood on street corners in the sun and rain to fight for ERA, reproductive freedom, going to bat for girls in sports…
  12. If despite your aches and pains, you are still willing to stand on street corners in the sun and rain again to fight for ERA, reproductive freedom, and girls/women in sports…
  13. If you can remember when women couldn’t get credit in their own names…
  14. If you voted for Jimmy Carter…
  15. If you’re not going back…
  16. If you subscribed to Ms. Magazine…
  17. If you know who Gloria Steinem is…
  18. If you’re old enough to be JD Vance‘s mother or grandmother, but glad you aren’t…
  19. If you thought we would finally see a women President after years of fighting for a female when Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris gave it their all…
  20. If you’re not going back…
  21. If you want your daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters to have equality and inclusion…
  22. If you quote Eleanor Roosevelt, Roslyn Carter, or Jackie Kennedy Onassis…
  23. If you think Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone…
  24. If you remember that awful day in Dallas when President John Kennedy was assassinated…
  25. If you’re not going back…
  26. If you were a founding member of NOW…
  27. If you remember Watergate…
  28. If ever wore a POW/MIA bracelet…
  29. If you are a “childless cat lady”…
  30. If you have ever been barefoot and pregnant, but your daughters and granddaughters are wearing shoes because you fought for freedom…
  31. If you ever declared, “we are young, good looking, we’ll be there”, and you’re empowered because you were there…
  32. If you’re not going back…
  33. If you attended Woodstock or Live Aid…
  34. If you participated in Hands Across America…
  35. If you never joined a protest in your youth but felt compelled to do so during Trump’s original term, please do so again…
  36. If you campaigned against the swimsuit competition in the Miss America pageant…
  37. If you’re not going back…
  38. If you supported Vanessa Williams when the scandal broke…
  39. If you thought Party Hearst might have possibly been not guilty…
  40. If you feel “Hell no, we won’t go” bubbling from your soul, because we are “NOT GOING BACK”…

Cosmo, The Talking Crow Comes To Town

Cosmo, The Talking Crow Comes To Town 

Introducing Cosmos. The talkative crow from Oregon.

Cosmo, The Talking Crow Comes To Town

Editors Note: While I was scrounging around looking for a Thanksgiving story I came across the story of Cosmo the Talking Crow that I reported on back in 2021. Cosmo (or maybe it’s Connie) brought a smile to a lot of people’s faces. So here, once again, is Cosmo’s story of a bad Thanksgiving vacation.

 

Oregon State Police called in on a foul mouthed crow 

By D. S. Mitchell

Down State Noise
Normally, the goings on in Grant’s Pass, Oregon, never gain the attention of the big city folks of Portland, Seattle, or LA.   Last week however, we here on the west coast got a bit of a smile as we learned about the antics of a rogue, rough talking, four letter word tossing, crow.  You read that right.  A crow. As the story goes, out of the blue a friendly, albeit attention seeking crow, showed up in town.  According to reports the first place the crow was spotted was on top of the Planet Fitness building, where he would talk to people entering and exiting the facility. Drawing both laughter and a raised finger or two.
Moving On
Apparently dissatisfied with the Planet Fitness digs our talkative and colorfully articulate bird looked around for friendlier faces.  He seemed to find what he was looking for when he found the Allen Dale Elementary School in late November.  It didn’t take long before he was the resident mascot. The news became public when Naomi Imel, an assistant at the school called in the story to the Oregonian on 12/09/2021. Lizzie  Acker 503-221-8052, lacker@Oregonian.com was the featured reporter who followed up on the feathered friend story.

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You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age

More of the Famous, “You Might be a Woman of a Certain Age”. . . 

More of "Women of a Certain Age."

More of the Famous “You Might be a Woman of a Certain Age”…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1. If you ever had clear plastic enclosed furniture and got stuck to it while wearing hot pants, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you wore Charlie perfume when it originally came out, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you know Youth Dew Bath Oil came before the perfume, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If you know what Youth Dew is and who still makes it, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you ever used Tinkerbell cologne, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you ever used Tinkerbell wash-off nail polish, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you had a little doll in a plastic perfume bottle, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you ever had a Dawn doll, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If you ever had a Chrissy doll, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If you had an original Alan or Midge doll, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you remember Growing Up Skipper – yes, her boobs grew (see the ”Barbie” movie for a demonstration), you might be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you know who Spike the dog is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you know who Dennis Rodman is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  14. If you know what Terry Bradshaw’s occupation was before he became an actor, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If you had day of the week panties, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If you are ready to throw your Spanx at Sir Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If you are ready to throw your Depends at Sir Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you are ready to throw yourself at Sir Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you ever had a beeper, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you watched Saturday morning cartoons growing up, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  21. If you ever ran through the sprinkler as a child, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  22. If you ever caught fireflies and put them in jar with blades of grass and a metal lid with punched holes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  23. If you ever went berry picking, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  24. If you remember Mr. Ed or Here’s Lucy, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  25. If you ever had a metal glider on your porch, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  26. If you had a wicker laundry hamper with a flower accent, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  27. If you ever had a rubber bathing cap with a brightly-colored flower, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  28. If you ever had wax lips or bottles with a sugary beverage in them, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  29. If you ever chose your Christmas presents from the Sears Wish Book, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  30. If you ever shopped at Sears, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  31. If you ever shopped at Radio Shack, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  32. If you ever shopped at Zayre or Venture, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  33. If you ever ate a breakfast brownie from a box, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  34. If you ever had a Swanson frozen dinner with the metal tray, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  35. If you ever had a little tub of ice cream with a flat wooden spoon, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  36. If you ever had orange drink in a miniature milk carton, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  37. If you or your child ever had a baby crib with an animal applique, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  38. If you ever had an original Spirograph, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  39. If you ever had an original Lite Brite, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  40. If you ever spent any Saturday nights at Blockbuster, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  41. If you know who the Great Pumpkin is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  42. If you ever saw a flashing blue light right after hearing, “Attention K-Mart shoppers…”, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  43. If you ever consumed Sugar Babies, Bazooka, Mary Janes, Lemonhead, or Chico Sticks, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  44. If you ever called a radio station to play your request and dedication on the air, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  45. If you know who Casey Kasem is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  46. If you know who Wolfman Jack is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  47. If you know what musical House of WAXX is from, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  48. If you ever met the Flintstones or the Jetsons, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  49. If you ever smelled Jovan Musk Oil, English Leather, High Karate, or Aqua Velva, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  50. If you know Mikey hated everything, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  51. If you ever had Jiffy Pop, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  52. If you ever owned an avocado green electric fry pan, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  53. If you ever repaired a run in your stocking with clear nail polish, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  54. If you ever wore a Frank Mazzendrea design, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  55. If you ever wore an original Norma Kamali garment made of sweatsuit fabric, you might be a woman of a certain age…

Women of a Certain Age-Yet Again…

Women of a Certain Age – Yet Again…

Women of a Certain Age-Yet Again…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you had a latch hook shag rug in colors of orange, yellow, and chocolate brown, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you had a macrame plant hanger and a bead curtain in your first apartment…
  3. If you remember some of the shows on “When Radio Was” when they originally ran…
  4. If you know exactly what “You’ll shoot your eye out” means…
  5. If you ever sent or received a telegram…
  6. If you read Dennis the Menace or Mary Worth comic strips in a print newspaper…
  7. If you still read and enjoy a print newspaper…
  8. If you wore puka shells…
  9. If you used Short and Sassy shampoo and conditioner…
  10. If you remember the advertisement that read, “The only important things you wear are your jeans and your hair”…
  11. If you remember “Curlers in your hair, shame on you”…
  12. If you own curlers that don’t heat up or plug in…
  13. If your boyfriend had a Mustang muscle car…
  14. If you know who “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” is…
  15. If you ever ate in a Pizza Hut with a salad bar…
  16. If you recall when bell bottoms and platform shoes were in fashion…
  17. If you ever bought a cup of coffee for a quarter, or even 50 cents…
  18. If you remember “You deserve a break today” and “At McDonald’s, it’s clean” commercials…
  19. If you ever got change back from a dollar at McDonald’s…
  20. If you ever shopped at a five and dime store…
  21. If you know what a five and dime store is…
  22. If you ever ate at a Woolworth restaurant…
  23. If you remember the original dollar stores…
  24. If you paid six dollars for your first concert ticket…
  25. If you ever wore gloves and a hat on a regular basis…
  26. If you remember Woodstock the concert, not just the bird…
  27. If you remember “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too…you’d cry too if it happened to you”…
  28. If you still own leg warmers and a double skinny belt…
  29. If you miss big hair, beehives and Aquanet…
  30. If you long for Dippity Do and DEP…
  31. If you ever used a hairspray called FREEZE…
  32. If you owned a smocked tunic top to wear over jeans…
  33. If you still wear Jean Nate body splash…
  34. If you still wear Sweet Honesty perfume…
  35. If you ever used Youth Dew bath oil…
  36. If you still use Prell Shampoo…
  37. If you love a good “Skybar”…
  38. If you know what a “Skybar” is…
  39. If you still bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan (of course, the bacon you bring home is still less than your male counterpart)…
  40. If you saw an Alfred Hitchcock film in a theater…
  41. If you remember theaters that had only one screen…
  42. If you would give anything for a Tab on ice…
  43. If you know what a Tab is…
  44. If a flower behind your ear was an elegant touch…
  45. If you know the lyrics to all the Carol King and Carol Bayer Sager songs…
  46. If you remember original Orange Julius drinks and Dilly Bars…
  47. If you know exactly what “One Adam Twelve” means…
  48. If you support and respect the older gentleman that authored the Violence Against Women Act and gave us our first female VP…
  49. If Dr. Jill Biden is your role model…
  50. If you weathered the rain and the sun marching for Girls in Sports, reproductive freedom, and ERA…

Some are Saying it Was an Inside Job

OPINION:

Some are Saying it was an Inside Job

Some are saying it was an inside job

OPINION:

Some are Saying it was an Inside Job

 **Editors note. This is an opinion piece and Calamity News and Politics is neutral on this topic.

By Anonymous II

It seems like more and more often I find my writing fueled by outrage. My current outrage centers on the bedwetters in the Democratic Party and the hysterics in the media; instead of focusing on the dangers of a second Trump administration, the Republican 2025 Plan, and now the assassination melodrama.

For the last two weeks the only news filling the airwaves has been dump demented old Joe. This is in spite of old Joe having had the most significant presidency in the last 90 years. No one said the transition would be complete in four years. There is still much to do.

The news of an assassination attempt against Trump has finally changed the focus of the news. Unfortunately, the incident has only amped up Trump’s message of hate and violence instead of tamping it down. As a conspiracy theorist friend of mine said, ‘it’s a plot by Trump to solidify his position as targeted and persecuted.’ You know kinda like Jesus Christ.

As my friend noted, Trump doesn’t care that people were killed. He hadn’t given a fuck on January 6th when people were getting wounded and killed; so why would he give a fuck now? My friend’s thought was that Trump would have a small device tucked behind his ear and when Trump’s paid shooter started firing Trump would detonate the device which would ignite behind his ear making it appear he was shot.

My friend is convinced it was an inside job.