10 Plus 1, Election Night “Ratherisms”
D. S. Mitchell
About three months ago I was wandering around a second hand bookstore in Seaside, Oregon when I came across a a book that I instantly loved; “Uncle John’s FAST-ACTING LONG LASTING Bathroom Reader.” The reader is published by Bathroom Readers’ Press, Ashland, OR. I bought the book, the 18th edition, and brought it home and it now has a small shrine on the counter next to the toilet in the master bath. The following quotes are from that book.
Television news anchor Dan Rather is known for his reserve and professional presentation of world news. But apparently, old Dan had a habit of dropping some pretty funny ad-libs now and then, especially during election night coverage. Check out the following election night “Ratherisms.”
1.) “This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.”
2.) “Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.”
3.) “In the southern states, Bush beat Kerry like a rented mule.”
4.) “His lead is as thin as turnip soup.”
5.) “The re-election of Bill Clinton is as secure as a double-knot tied in wet rawhide.”
6.) “The returns are running like a squirrel in a cage.”
7.) “He’s sweeping through the South like a tornado through a trailer park.”
8.) “This race is spandex-tight.”
9.) “This race is shakier than cafeteria Jell-O.”
10.) “His lead is as thin as November ice.”
11.) “This race is as tight as the rusted lug nuts on a 1955 Ford.”
Hope Dan gave you a couple chuckles. Thanks again, Uncle John for tracking down this sort of thing.
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Dar
