Advice for the 65-Plus Crowd

Advice for the 65-Plus Crowd

Twenty-Three Tips for the Silver Sneakers Crew

By D. S. Mitchell

A friend of mine since high school sent me the following advice on aging.  I looked on the internet to find the source of the article and I was directed to a cemetery/mortuary site in California as the origin of the text.  For some reason I found that extremely funny. Post-Internment is not the time to worry about such things, I said to myself. Despite those feelings I did feel that there was some good information and thought it was worth passing on.  Although the following is not in quotes it has been authored by some unknown person other than me and I would gladly credit their work if I knew their name.

Twenty-Three Tips for the Over 65 Crowd

1. Use it and Enjoy it. It’s time to use the money you saved up.  Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.
2. Stop Fretting About Your Children. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter, and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.
3. Eat Right, Exercise Regularly. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well, and get your sleep, and cut the stress. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.
4. Share Time, Events, and Travel with Someone. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.
5. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.
6. Keep Love Alive. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor. Do what you love. “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”
7. A Healthy Ego is a Good Thing. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.
8. Your Own Sense of Style. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are.
9. Stay Informed. ALWAYS stay up to date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age.
10. Youth is the Future. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and they will take the world in a direction of their choice. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them gently that yesterday’s wisdom can still apply today, but not always. Be flexible.
11. Live in the Present. Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. If you’re alive, you are part of this time. You may have been younger, but you are still you, here and now, having fun and enjoying life. “Live in the moment,” is a great idea, take it seriously.
12. It is Easier to Laugh Than Frown. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.
13. Is an ADU Right for You? Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone.
14. Don’t Abandon Your Hobbies and Interests. If you don’t have any, make new ones. Travel, hike, cook, read, dance. Adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer, or just collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some time having fun with it. *This is where I must add my own thoughts. Be patient, it won’t take long. While I was in my working life, I only had time to play with my website and write a short story occasionally, but after I retired, I started writing, a lot. Two novels, pure escapism, and a third one coming. And of course, my news and commentary website, www.calamitynewsandpolitics.com.
15. Get Out of the House. This means even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house, despite COVID-19. Go to museums, take a walk. Get out and smell the roses.
16. Listen First. Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing interactions. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints (at least I do). Remember the Thumper Rule: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
17. Aches and Pains. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be. Keep mobile. Move your ass, its important.
18. Move On. If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone, apologize. Don’t drag resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget, and move on with your life.
19. Your Religion is Your Religion. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them.
20. Laugh. Laugh A LOT, at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So, what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation.
21. Pay No Mind.  Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories, and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be!
22. REMEMBER: “Life is too short to drink bad wine.”
23. The Last Word. The original article didn’t come with 23 tips, but here’s one from Cousin Lucille, that I love, “Make my last days my best days.”