Commercial for “The Pirates of Calamity”

Commercial For “The Pirates Of Calamity”

So, while the rest of us slept the guys were busy working on a commercial for their “Pirates of Calamity” weekly videocast, seen here on YouTube calamity politics channel. Be sure to let the guys know what you think of their efforts. You can also find the guys on calamitypolitics.com, Facebook, and X.

More Info On Mushrooms

More Info On Mushrooms

More Information on Mushrooms

Well, folks the guys are still working on their studio makeover, but unfortunately they can’t finish up until a couple of items currently on back order arrive. Despite that issue, Bill and Dave have a lot to say. In this video they go on and on for a whole 16 minutes. So, my suggestion is pour a cup of coffee, grab a cannabis cookie, and sit down and listen to the guys as they provide valuable information on mushrooms.

 

Work in Progress-Setting Up the New Studio

Setting Up the New Studio 

Work in Progress

Setting up the new Calamity studio

The guys have been busy sweeping, mopping, and cleaning out the area for the new Calamity News Studio. They have been working almost tirelessly getting the big unveil ready for the viewing public. There’s a lot more hard work in front of them, but there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Stop by for a visit and see the progress.

You Might Just Be A Woman Of A Certain Age

You Might Just Be A Woman Of A Certain Age

If you can remember clip on ear rings and phone booths, you just may be a woman of a certain age.

You Might Just Be a Woman of a Certain Age

By Anna Hessel

 

If you have ever worn clip earrings, or even know what clip earrings are…you might be a woman of a certain age.

If your hairdo (or your boyfriend’s) was a party in the back and business in the front…

If you have ever done anything in a phone booth…

If you know what a phone booth is or what it has to do with Superman…

If you used Tickle deodorant…

If you have ever worn shoulder pads when not playing powder puff football…

If you have a landline, had a landline, or even know what a landline is…

If you had a Princess or Trimline phone…

If you ever used a phone book…

If you ever used a clothing iron or frozen orange juice cans to fix your hair…

If you ever drank Tab, or know what Tab is…

If you ever served a Swanson Pot Pie for dinner…

If you refer to Lean Cuisine or the like as a TV dinner…

If you ever wore sequin mesh boots from Desperately Seeking Susan…

If you saw Desperately Seeking Susan on opening weekend…

If you ever had a Bianca Blast or used a Maybelline Kissing Potion before a date…

If you even know what a Bianca Blast is…

If you got peanut butter in somebody’s chocolate, or vice versa…

if you remember Madge the manicurist…

If you know what a manicurist is…

If you ever had a glass or half-moon manicure…

If you used baby oil with iodine to get a tan…

If you ever smoked an Eve…

(please note, I am NOT advocating the iodine, baby oil, or the Eves!)

Continue reading

Remembering Lily

Remembering Lily

Remembering Lily

While I was looking through my video library I stumbled onto this little montage of photos my granddaughter, Amber, put together nearly a decade ago of my dog Lily, and her kitten, Inara. Amber then posted her work on YouTube. It’s just a bit long, but so is the song. So, here folks are Lily and Inara, performing their love story to Shaun Smith’s version of ‘Ain’t No Sunshine (WhenYou’re Gone)’. Pretty cute. It brought a smile to my face and smiles are a damn good thing. Hope it makes you smile too.

**My dog Lily passed three years ago. I still miss her. And Inara, is grown up now and is as spoiled as ever.

 

Whoa, Dave!

Whoa, Dave!

Some days just start off bad and just get worseWhoa, Dave !

I was on Facebook when I saw this post from an old friend and thought I should repost Dave’s story,

“Well I’m in the emergency room now. Ugh!! 😢 Today was not a good day at all. I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven’t done in awhile. It turned out to be a big mistake!
I got on the horse and everything started out fine. Nice and slow, but then we started moving a little bit faster. Before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go, racing pell-mell across the field. I couldn’t take the pace and fell off. I caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me. It wouldn’t stop. I hit my head, banged up my back and elbow, pretty good and tore my pants half off me !

Thank goodness the manager at the bake shop came out and unplugged the machine. But, she had the nerve to take the rest of my change so I wouldn’t ride the Elephant or Motorcycle. I was also banned from the Merry-go-round.”

How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, paste for someone else to get a laugh!
I had to. Just had to lol!!

Thanks Dave Johnson, for the laugh.

Sports Quotes Just For Laughs

Sport Quotes Just For Laughs

Pro athletes have a way of making us laugh. Sport quotes.

Sport Quotes Just For Laughs

D. S. Mitchell

Official Play Day

I am officially declaring, today a play day here at the office. It’s great sometimes, being the boss, even if it’s only me, and Rocky. Rocky, my stalwart partner in crime is a blue and white Budgie. I have been trying to teach him to talk. So far he has mounted a full campaign of resistance. Thinking about political theory, political science, political reality, political bullshit, is about as frustrating as trying to teach my budgie to talk. So I have decided there will be no political discussion, today. There will be no analysis, there will be no relevant comment, other than what a few athletes have had to say over the years about some weird shit. So, here goes. . .

He Said What?

Mike Tyson:  Responding to a question about his retirement plans:  “Fade into Bolivian, I guess.”

Joe Theismann: “The term genius is inapplicable to anyone in this game.  A genius is Norman Einstein.”

Pedro Guerrero:  About his relationship with the press, “Sometimes they write what I say, not what I mean.”

Chuck Nevitt:  On why he appeared nervous:  “My sister is having a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an aunt or an uncle.”

Yogi Berra:  “It gets late early out here.”

George Foreman:  “There’s more to boxing than hitting.  There’s not getting hit, for instance.”

George Roberts:  “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

Tug McGraw:  “Always root for the winner.  That way you won’t be disappointed.”

Don King:  He (Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual.”

Dizzy Dean:  The doctor X-rayed my head and found nothing.

Bill Cowher:  On whether the Steelers bent NFL regulations: “We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.”

David Thompson: “Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.”

Dizzy Dean: after a 1-0 game, “The game was closer than the score indicated.”

Michael Jordan: “I never lost a game, I just ran out of time.”

Thanks Rod L. Evans, Ph.D. taken with permission from his book, Tyrannosaurus Lex.

HUMOR: Let’s Find Something To Smile About

 HUMOR: Let’s Find Something To Smile About

Times are tough, sometimes you just need to make time to smile

HUMOR: Let’s Find Something To Smile About

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Back At the Computer

I am back at the computer working on a new post for my www.calamitynewsandpolitics.com website.  Before I started this website, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough to scream about, but I’m finding that I could probably do half a dozen posts a day related to the B.S. and dangerous misinformation but I thought, before I start a fresh rant on the collapse of American democracy and other issues of importance to Western Civilization I should deliver something positive and uplifting.

So, dear hearts here are twenty-five things to make you smile:

  1. Touching toes in the night
  2. Sunsets over water
  3. Wraparound sunglasses
  4. The Science channel
  5. Kite flying contests
  6. The Muppets
  7. Astronauts on Mars
  8. Blowing the paper wrapper off the straw
  9. Winning at Poker
  10. A dog’s cold nose on your hand
  11. Barhopping on a Saturday night
  12. Old jeans that fit just right
  13. Your lover’s voice
  14. The clatter of skis being loaded for vacation
  15. The rumble of a train as it passes
  16. Walking in the rain
  17. The imagination of a six year old
  18. Margaritas at midnight (or any time, for that matter)
  19. Finishing the Sunday crossword without cheating
  20. A morning walk
  21. The smell of a new car
  22. Roller skating
  23. Your First grade teacher
  24. A sexy book
  25. Daddy’s smile

Back to the Fight

Now that we’ve had five minutes of smiles its time to get back to the fight. We have lots of work to do; stop the relentless gun violence, end state’s whittling away of our voting rights, stop anti-democratic gerrymandering that provides power to those who do not have voter support. We must halt the actions of John Robert’s  monumentally corrupt Supreme Court. Time to impeach Clarence Thomas and any other Justice that is in bed with the billionaires. And closest to my heart, the restoration of a woman’s right to choose, by the codification of Roe. We can do it all, we just need boots on the ground working toward these goals. Join the fight for democracy.

Grillin’ and Chillin’ Safely

Grillin’ and Chillin’ Safely

Grilling is great summer fun, but here are a few tips to make your grilling safe

Grillin’ and Chillin’ Safely

Some practical tips for BBQ safety

By Anna Hessel

 

Wish There Was S’More

As we mourn the end of summer, I find myself once again fondly remembering summers gone by.  S’mores around the campfire were a summer staple – today, s’mores have lost some of their magic since  they are now on labels for beverages, Pop-Tarts, breakfast cereals, and even lip balm.  What’s next, s’mores casserole?  I actually own an indoor tabletop s’mores maker. Yes, they really have such things.  But, it isn’t quite the same thrill as finding that perfect dirt covered stick on the the ground and wiping it off on your pant leg and shoving a marshmallow on it.

Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

Summers at the lake included the perfect little store, complete with a cooler of Coca-Cola bottles, and its matching Coke bottle opener attached to the wall. Sweet nostalgia; before there were sweetened beverage taxes to think about, or plastic bag charges.  My Aunt Irene had a talent for popsicle-breaking – she would break a banana quiescently frozen confection perfectly down the center.  Also in those days Oreos were Oreo flavored; they didn’t taste like waffles with syrup, red velvet, pumpkin spice, or even birthday cake.  Our environment was not yet destroyed, so if there was such a thing as sunscreen, almost nobody used it. Instead – baby oil and iodine gave us golden tans. Of course, I’m not advocating this now. Current research indicates such behaviors may have caused cancer in many women of my generation; not to mention ex-ray treatments for teenage acne. Flip-flops were called thongs, not bikinis – swimsuit bottoms actually covered our bottoms.  There was no need for waterproof cell phone holders – because there were no cell phones. . .hours at the pool or lake with accompanying boombox, slid happily away.

Hot Time, Summer In The City

We got ready for summer movie dates at the drive-in by setting our hair with a goopy concoction called Dippity-Do and then wrapping sections of hair around empty frozen orange juice cans, or in some cases, beer cans. I hear  you can still get that product on Amazon. In those days, mousse was a chocolate dessert, not a hair product.  Pink flamingos, despite their color, were considered tacky, not haute decor.

Serving Dinner

An American flag, a potted geranium, and a welcome mat were all the outdoor decoration we needed, in those days.  The redwood picnic table held heaping platters of corn-on-the-cob and slices of watermelon.  Tomatoes came from my uncle’s garden, and were perfect on hamburgers, and toppers for cool salads.  Summers were simpler then; a time to relax and renew.  Well, I am going to be going in my usual direction and reach out to the local supermarket for a package of buns, and then I will be going in a different direction to my favorite nail salon for my mani-pedi, because when I reach out, I do it in style…

Chill And Grill

Summer, of course, also means, at least for my better half and his dad, that it’s time to fire up the grill.  My hubby is in his culinary element, the Bobby Flay of our patio.  Decked out in a chef’s hat (received from a Pillsbury promotion), and his “Kiss the Cook” apron (a birthday gift from yours truly), my spouse is ready to smoke up the neighborhood.

Order Up!

No gas grills for my guy; nothing says summer like the taste of lighter fluid on a chicken thigh.  I watch the action from my favorite Adirondack chair, an iced mocha latte at hand, as I bear witness to a wide variety of foods disappearing under the hood of his shiny blue Weber kettle grill.  Tuna steaks, salmon burgers, hotdogs, skewers of various vegetables, watermelon, peaches, and even a foil wrapped banana stuffed with chocolate and butterscotch chips; we can’t eat a summer meal that does not bear grill marks.  Carrying my favorite Pioneer Women platter aloft, tongs strapped to his belt and man’s best friend at his heels, just in case something were to fall off that tray, my loveable grill master cooks with style…

Grill Without Fail

And while you’re all grilling with style, make sure you are cooking safely.  Whether you choose charcoal or gas, these tips assembled by my husband, Wes Hessel, can make you the grill master of safety when you cook outdoors this season:

  1. Start safe by selecting your meats or seafood just before checking out at the store, putting them in a separate section of the cart, and have them bagged individually in plastic to avoid cross-contamination.
  2. Keep your items to cook in the refrigerator until right before you put them on the grill, or if you are grilling away from home, use a well-insulated cooler and ice or cold packs to keep the food temperature below 40 degrees.
  3. Wash your hands before and after working with raw meat or seafood or if soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer of at least 70% alcohol. Use separate cutting surfaces for raw meat or seafood, dispose of any leftover marinade or sauce which was in contact with raw meat or seafood, and use a fresh, clean plate for prepared foods.
  4. Use a meat thermometer to make sure items you are cooking reach safe temperatures, per the CDC:
  • 145°F – whole cuts of beef, pork, lamb, and veal (standing time of 3 minutes at this temperature)
  • 145°F – fish
  • 160°F – hamburgers and other ground beef
  • 165°F – all poultry and pre-cooked meats, like hot dogs
  • After grilling, keep the food at 140°F or warmer until it’s served
  1. Keep your grill surface, drip trays, and the like clean to avoid grease fires
  2. Be careful not to put too much food on the grill at one time.
  3. Avoid direct contact of the flame to the food – there is strong evidence that flames touching food can create carcinogens. Indirect cooking methods are a smart way to avoid this risk.
  4. If your grill is gas, regularly check for leaks with a light soap and water solution, and certainly never turn gas on with the lid closed. If a flame goes out, turn off all the gas and wait five minutes with the lid open before relighting.  If you smell gas while grilling, immediately get away from the grill and keep everyone else away, then call your fire department.
  5. If your grill is charcoal, regularly empty the ash pan/receptacle.
  6. If you are using a “starter fluid” such as lighter fluid, always place it on the coals before they are lit. NEVER put starter fluids or any other flammable on a burning fire.  Better yet, use an electric fire starter or charcoal chimney to get your grill going.
  7. Charcoal and propane are for outdoor use only.
  8. Your grill should never be closer than 10 feet to your home or garage; for those of you living in multi-family dwellings, keep the grill well away from any entrances or fire exits.
  9. Avoid placing the grill under building overhangs made of wood-based materials or overhanging branches, nor near deck railings.
  10. Décor is pretty but must be kept away from the grill.
  11. A fire extinguisher should be kept close, and be sure you are familiar with its proper use. If you are not comfortable using one, if a fire occurs, immediately call 911.  A spray bottle of clean water for minor “flare ups” will not cause harm to the food on the grill.
  12. Never leave your grill unattended, even for a minute, especially if there are children or pets around, and do not let them get closer than three feet to the grill. When you are finished grilling, turn off the gas (if applicable), close the lids, and any vents to completely extinguish the fire.  Always make sure the grill is completely cold before properly disposing of used coals and ashes.

These guidelines will keep the rest of your grilling season safe and enjoyable.  I wish you all a safe remainder of summer, full of sunny days and style.

59 Things to Smile About

59 Things to Smile About

Let's talk about smiles today

59 Things to Smile About

 

By D. S. Mitchell

 

1.) The roll of thunder and the flash of lightening

2.) The sound of crows calling
3.) Grandma’s 1940 aluminum cake carrier
4.) Having a flower budget
5.) Toddlers in sandboxes
6.) Homemade tamales
7.) Fresh baked apple pie
8.) Big Sur
9.) Fire trucks all red and shiny
10.) Liquor in crystal decanters

11.) Walking the dunes
12.) Tillamook cheddar cheese
13.) Sails in the wind
14.) Still saving my change in a piggy bank
15.) Making church steeples with my hands
16.) Finding a parking space at the front door
17.) Making Cannabis truffles
18.) Eating Cannabis truffles
19.) A ‘she-shed’ for the garden
20.) Waltzing in the Pittock Mansion ballroom
21.) Scrabble on a rainy Sunday

22.) My Alma Mater, Portland State University, Portland, Oregon
23.) Daddy’s cherished gray ‘Bogie’ Fedora
24.) Snowmobile races
25.) 501’s and a leather jacket
26.) The art section at Goodwill
27.) Lake life
28.) Ping Pong basement championships

29.) Making floral bouquets from flowers collected from the yard
30.) High school football games
31.) White cotton shorts
32.) Being nice when someone calls you vulgar names on Twitter
33.) Astoria Sunday Market, on a sunny day
34.) A drive up mailbox
35.) A dog

36.) A cat
37.) Fresh baked bread
38.) First day of school
39.) Last day of school
40.) Wainscotting
41.) Cheese fondue with little bread squares
42.) Having read every book on the shelf
43.) Shiny oak floors
44.) First ski week-end
45.) A Blue Heron in the marsh

46.) Walking hand in hand with a child
47.) Wrapped peppermints in a glass dish
48.) Making pictures out of clouds
49.) Old photo albums
50.) Peanuts and popcorn at the ball game
51.) Oversize reckless, passionate modern art pieces
52.) Never feeling older than 17
53.) Powell’s Books, Pearl District, Portland, Oregon
54.) Spring wildflowers

55.) White curtains, blowing gently on a summer breeze

56.) Looking at childhood pictures in an old photo album

57.) Catching crawdads with my grandson

58.) Lunch with the girls

59.) Snuggling and cuddling with someone special

I hope some of my reasons to smile, made you smile. Tomorrow, Calamity News and Politics will be back covering the Washington, D.C. hotplate, and I doubt  there will be many reasons to smile in that environment.