D. S. Mitchell
Please Call #988 for help.
Dangerous To Your Health
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. If you are between 15-35, suicide is the second leading cause of death for your age group. For all age groups, suicide is responsible for more deaths than murder and natural disasters, combined. Men take their own lives four times as often as women. Many men sadly would rather be dead than seem ‘weak.’
Not Rare, Or Isolated
As you can see, suicide is not a rare, or an isolated event. Twenty-two vets a day kill themselves. An alarming increase in suicide among law enforcement officers should be of national concern. Approximately 170 officers killed themselves last year. Suicide is permanent. No one comes back. It is very real and definitely a permanent end.
It Never Ends
And, sadly, it leaves those who are left behind, in utter despair. For them the suicide event never really ends. Those left behind face stigma, guilt and self-recrimination. The most common question from those left behind are, “Why didn’t I see it coming?” “What could I have done differently?”
Part Of The Social Fabric
Suicide is like the tentacles of an octopus wrapping itself around all of us, casting doubt on hope, and future. It tears at our social fabric and brings into question society’s compact with the individual. Whether spoken or unspoken, we as people, are part of a greater society. As a society, we have agreed to a collective future, a means to provide for our children, to continue our culture, to sustain our existence at all cost. Jennifer Michael Hecht wrote, Stay: A History of Suicide and the Arguments Against it. And in her words, “Either the universe is a cold dead place with solitary sentient beings, or we are all alive together, committed to persevere.”
Deeply Loved
Suicide has been a painful part of my life experience. Sometimes, I think my family has a suicide gene. My brother Kenny, was a navy vet. He committed suicide by placing a tube in the exhaust pipe of his truck, ran it to the truck cab, locked the garage door, and turned on the engine. He was 30 years old. He was deeply loved. He left a one year old son, who will never know him. My 12-year-old cousin Danny, took his Dad’s shot-gun from the gun closet, went to his room, locked the door and blew his head off. He too was deeply loved. He left behind a devastated family.
Again, and again
My uncle John was a WWII vet. As his depression mounted he played Russian roulette with his revolver day after day, between whiskey shots, until he ended his life with a single bullet to the head. This was long before the movie “The Deer Hunter”. I was only ten, but I still remember that day, as if it was yesterday. I could go on-about suicide in my family, but all I have left to say is, what a waste.
Drugs And Depression
Professionally, I worked as a Registered Nurse. I spent 20 years of my very long career in Crisis Psychiatry. Because of my family history it was painful to repeatedly see the destructive face of depression and suicide. I have held the hand of a man who could not see beyond his own pain. I have sat next to a vet who couldn’t stop shaking from the night terror of PTSD. Addiction is a component in many of these cases, but certainly not all. We need to realize that often the addiction is a glaring symptom of the underlying suicidal ideation.
Feelings vs Reality
The pain and despair are legitimate. At some point the emotional pain becomes physical pain. Emotional pain is very subjective. The person’s feelings may seem to be completely disproportionate to the person’s life. That dichotomy of ‘reality’ and ‘feelings’ often creates guilt within the person because of their inability to cope with life’s challenges.
Too Many Gone
If you are one of the many millions who have contemplated suicide, myself included, I am so glad you decided to stay and I hope you are satisfied with that decision. To stay, to live every day allotted to you, is to honor your future self, to give that future self a chance at happiness. For what ever reasons you chose to stay; for your family, for your religion, whatever the reason, it takes great courage to stay and face your daily pain. I am grateful that I made a commitment to stay. I have experienced extraordinary joy and incredible sadness, but I believe my decision was the right one.
SUICIDE SIGNALS: If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the following symptoms please seek help.
- Talking about self harm, wanting to die, to kill yourself
- Talking about a life without purpose, “hopelessness” being “trapped”
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Noticeably agitated, anxious or reckless
- Expressing feelings of unbearable pain
- Extreme mood swings
- Displays of rage
- Plans to “get revenge.”
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing from normal relationships, isolation
Please Call
Please, if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, or are showing any of the listed signals, tell someone. Call the #988 for help. Tomorrow is worth living. I promise.
