How To Be a Lady and a Feminist

How To Be a Lady and a Feminist

How To Be a Lady and a Feminist

Editor: As Women’s History Month fades into memory, Cate offers another one of her tongue-in-cheek suggestion lists for the feminist in each of us.

By Cate Rees-Hessel 

 

As Woman’s History Month draws to a close, let’s talk about how a lady with feminist pride acts. I’m laughing uncontrollably as I speak those words. Of course, well-behaved women rarely make history, but there are feminine ways to take a stance. As the notorious RBG said, “There is strength in numbers. When fighting for what we believe, we should always aim to inspire and empower those around us.” and “Fight for things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”

Fun is certainly okay; Gloria Steinem reminds us, “So whatever you want to do, just do it… Making a damn fool of yourself is absolutely essential.” Ladies should always have an excellent sense of humor. Shirley Chisholm told us, “If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair” (mine is pink). But remember, queens, we must always remain regal in any circumstance:

Tips on how to do it: 

  1. Unwashed is unacceptable for you or your clothes. Always be well groomed, bathed, shampooed, combed, with neat, clean fingernails and do not forget those toenails, you never know when you may have to kick off your shoes.
  2. Speak clearly and avoid trash talk, however, every now and again, an interesting word just might escape our perfectly glossed lips.
  3. Remember that everyone loves a lady – use manners in all circumstances; shrill screaming is not an attractive look for anyone.
  4. Intelligence is sexy; don’t act stupid or like a bimbo – it’s not attractive. Smart attracts smart.
  5. Dress appropriately – sexy does not have to be trashy. I have been told the sexiest outfit I own in a pale blue turtleneck sweater and perfectly fitted leggings. Plunging necklines are fine in certain circumstances, with proper undergarments, of course.
  6. If you are wearing a dress or skirt, please sit with your legs together – no one needs to know the color of your lingerie. Well said, sister.
  7. If you like those mid-thigh miniskirts, please wear panties and rise from a seated position carefully – extremely carefully.
  8. Keep your under and outer layers clean, free of stains, rips, and tears. I know there are a whole lot of torn jeans being worn everywhere, but, if you’re trying for a lasting impression forgo the ripped jeans and T’s.
  9. Accessories can make an ensemble, but it is important that they are appropriate and not over done. Twentieth century fashion icon Coco Chanel used to advise removing one piece of jewelry before walking out the door.
  10. This should not even need to be said, but here goes; never, I said never, make a play for another woman’s spouse or significant other.
  11. Ladies cover your mouth when you yawn, no one wants to look down your throat. Sneeze into your elbow, and cover a cough.
  12. “Please” and “Thank You” do exist in today’s world – use them often.
  13. Take care of your body: shave, use deodorant, and lotion. Have a skin care regimen – cleanse, tone, moisturize. If you need long term protection, there are now products that claim 72 hour odor defense. Oh, my.
  14. Mani-pedis can really polish off your look.
  15. Get dressed for that midnight ice cream run – never go out in your pajamas, robe, or slippers. Remember flat tires and stalled cars aren’t planned events.
  16. Ladies do not belch or have gastric disturbance in public – head to the ladies room. If an unfortunate noise escapes, please look at the dog and then skyward before suggesting a change of diet for your pet.
  17. Use excellent table manners: napkin on your lap, use silverware whenever possible. Gently pat your lips with a napkin. Finger foods should be consumed daintily, not inhaled. Never chew with your mouth open. Do not speak with your mouth full. Use the correct fork and avoid phrases like “Pardon my boarding house reach” – politely ask for food to be passed.
  18. A lady can be just a bit naughty – if it’s light and fun.
  19. Accept a compliment with humility; yet with enthusiasm – say thank you and flash that beautiful smile.
  20. Speaking of smiles. Take care of your teeth: brushing, flossing, and regular cleanings are extremely important. Utilize mouthwash and mints.
  21. Be an Elle Woods: “What, like it’s hard?”
  22. Take Gloria Steinem’s advice, “Don’t think about making women fit the world – think about making the world fit women.”
  23. Remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
  24. Feminist pride means holding your head up high and being heard…

Women’s Suffrage: 100 Years In Retrospect

Women’s Suffrage: 100 Years in Retrospect

By Anna Hessel

 A Century and Counting

Our nation just celebrated the 100th anniversary of the passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution which gave women the universal right to vote.  “You’ve come a long way, baby…” but we have an even longer way to go.  The women’s suffrage movement was a decades-long fight, giving females their voting rights, but the battle for equality is far from over.

The Fight Heats Up

In 1875, women’s suffrage had reached a monumental mark when Mrs. Virginia Minor filed suit against the State of Missouri for her constitutional right to vote in the presidential election.  The case wound up in the Supreme Court.  Unanimously, the justices claimed the privilege to vote was not a fundamental right of United States citizenship, and further asserted the denial of her voting rights was not protected by the 14th Amendment.

Coming Together for the Common Good

Before 1890, the American Woman Suffrage Association (AWSA), specifically worked toward securing a woman’s right to vote by a federal Constitutional amendment.   The National Woman Suffrage Association (NWSA) had their focus on the passage of women’s voting rights legislation on a state-by-state-basis.  That year they joined forces, becoming the National American Woman Suffrage Association (NAWSA).  Strategical arguments had threatened to derail progress towards the goal on more than one occasion.

The Twenties Roar Right Out of the Starting Block

The 1920 ratification brought enormous changes for ladies in that decade.  These “Thoroughly Modern Millie’s” were scandalous, bobbing their hair, tying their pearls in a knot, painting their faces, and raising their hemlines.  Men found themselves in a quandary, as these new-fangled females were standing strong as empowered women.  As the musical “Thoroughly Modern Millie” put it about the watershed change of the time:

There are those

I suppose

Think we’re mad

Heaven knows

The world has gone

To rack and to ruin

What we think is chic, unique and quite adorable

They think is odd and Sodom and Gomorrah-ble

But the fact is

Everything today is thoroughly modern

Check your personality

Everything today makes yesterday slow

Better face reality

It’s not insanity

Says Vanity Fair

In fact, it’s stylish

To raise your skirts and bob your hair

In a rumble seat, the world is so cozy

If the boy is kissable

And that tango dance they wouldn’t allow

Now is quite permissible

Goodbye, good, goody girl

I’m changing and how

So beat the drums ’cause here comes

Thoroughly modern Millie now!

Everything today is thoroughly modern

Bands are getting jazzier

Everything today is starting to go

Cars are getting snazzier

Men say it’s criminal what women’ll do

What they’re forgetting is, this is 1922

Have you seen the way they kiss in the movies

Isn’t it delectable?

Painting lips and pencil-lining your brow

Now is quite respectable

Goodbye, good, goody girl

I’m changing and how

So beat the drums, ’cause here comes

Thoroughly modern Millie now!

Inspired by a 1967 Musical About 1922

I remember singing and dancing to that song at the age of 15 – it was the opening number for my modeling school’s graduation.  I was completely inspired by those lyrics, and I was armed with my Great Lash Mascara, Bonnie Bell Jumbo Lip Smacker in the very grown-up flavor of watermelon, Aqua Net big hair, and brand new platform sandals.  Just like those teenage girls getting their first experience with cosmetics when Bonnie Bell rolled out their skin care line in 1927, I was ready for these new, “all the rage” conveniences.

Equality is Coming…

I stood on street corners with NOW (National Organization for Women), asking people to, “go to bat for girls in sports”.  And, of course, doing everything I could to see the ERA ratified.  After all, I was almost 16; surely by the time I finished my education and joined the workforce, equal rights and equal pay would be a given.  My enthusiastic, “Young Miss” brain was mistaken – the fight continues on.

Give ‘Em an Inch…

The 19th Amendment changed women’s lives in many ways, moving closer to equal rights in many aspects of life in the United States of America.  Ladies were now advocating for education, birth control, sex education, equal wages, job opportunities, and the like.  Another baby of the 1920’s, the original ERA was written in 1921 by fellow activist attorneys and feminists Alice Paul and Crystal Catherine Eastman.  Ms. Paul held three law degrees and had been an instrumental leader of the women’s suffrage movement.  Ms. Eastman, of Erie, PA,  was a socialist, anti-militarist, journalist, and lawyer, educated at Vassar, Columbia, and NYU.

Persistence Pays Off, Sort Of…

The original phrasing read,  “No political, civil, or legal disabilities or inequalities on account of sex or on account of marriage, unless applying equally to both sexes, shall exist within the United States or any territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof.”  The amendment was first introduced in Congress in 1923, and in some form had been resubmitted in every subsequent session for almost fifty years, until it’s passage in 1972.

Still Trying

Virginia was the 38th state to ratify the ERA since it was proposed in 1972.  That ratification pushed the ERA across the threshold, however, the original deadline had run out in March of 1979.  But President Jimmy Carter signed into law an extension passed by Congress, granting additional time for the ERA to be ratified until June 1982.  Prior to this, though, five states had “rescinded” their ratifications, the legality of which still remains unresolved.  Many hurdles still remain in the amendment’s path.  It received bipartisan support with recent ratifications by Illinois in 2018 and Nevada just the year before, but these occurred after the inactivity of four decades.  Whether the amendment protecting the equal rights of women will actually be added to our Constitution remains yet to be seen.

Still Fighting

In the words of the immortal Shirley Chisholm, “You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining.  You make progress by implementing ideas.”  “I want history to remember me…not as the first black woman to have made a bid for the Presidency of the United States, but as a black woman who lived in the 20th century and who dared to be herself.  I want to be remembered as a catalyst for change in America.”  “At present, our country needs women’s idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else.”

“Why shouldn’t I run for president?”

“I have certainly met much more discrimination in terms of being a woman than being black, in the field of politics.”  “I ran for the presidency, despite hopeless odds, to demonstrate the sheer will and refusal to accept the status quo.”  Those of us that watched the Democratic National Convention will recall with pride a video clip of Ms. Chisholm exclaiming, “Why shouldn’t I run for president?”

Progress is Made but Higher Goals Await

Many women now serve as elected officials, holding public office, but none has yet to break the ultimate glass ceiling of our nation.  Hilary Clinton came very close, winning the popular vote against Donald Trump in the 2016 election, but lost by electoral votes.  Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Kamala Harris may just be the break we need to shatter the enormous barrier.  Marginalized minorities – Native Americans, Hispanics, African-Americans, and Asian women – still fall through the cracks.

Somethings Never Change

Outlandish arguments against the women’s suffrage movement are still in effect today, still being used against women’s rights.  For example, many men feared women voters might disrupt harmonious family relations, distracting away from family values and the institution of marriage, with the possible consequence of divorce.  Why women even may go to the extremes of wearing pants, cowboy boots, and neckties.

In Their Own Words

Both the 19th Amendment and the Equal Rights Amendment are succinct and simplistic in their directness:  Amendment XIX: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.”

Equal Rights Amendment:  “Section 1: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. Section 2: The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. Section 3: This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.”

The Vice Squad’s First Member, Almost

We as women voters owe a debt of gratitude to these sash-wearing, determined ladies of yesteryear, and those that followed in their stead.  Geraldine “Gerry” Anne Ferraro, the first woman to be nominated as a vice-presidential candidate by a major political party, quipped, “Vice president-it has such a nice ring to it!”  She faced much opposition, saying, ”The polls indicated that I was feisty, that I was tough, that I had a sense of humor, but they weren’t quite sure if they liked me, and they didn’t know whether or not I was sensitive.  I readily admit I was not an expert on foreign policy, but I was knowledgeable, and I didn’t need a man who was the Vice-President of the United States and my opponent turning around and putting me down.”  Ms. Ferraro, who’s desk drawer was filled with all kinds of prayers, humbly revered her place in history.

Dare to Dream

Author, feminist, and journalist extrordinaire Gloria Steinem reminds us, “Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.  Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”  Vocalist Helen Reddy recorded an anthem for empowered women everywhere:

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an’ pretend

‘Cause I’ve heard it all before

You can bend but never break me

‘Cause it only serves to make me

More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger

Not a novice any longer

‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land

But I’m still an embryo

With a long, long way to go

Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes, I am wise

But it’s wisdom born of pain

Yes, I’ve paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can face anything

I am strong

(Strong)

I am invincible

(Invincible)

I am woman

Take a Stand, Make a Plan…to Vote

For the women who planned and marched, setting the bar high for those of us that followed a century into the future, I will honor your suffrage and legacy.  With a blue vote to elect Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I will take my stand for equality, so that the next chapter in our history may be written with dignity and relevance.  Women will decide this election; let us pave the way for our first female Vice-President of the United States.  Ladies, “this is our moment.  This is our mission.” (Joe Biden)