Another Holiday Survival Plan

Another Holiday Survival Plan

D. S. Mitchell

If you are becoming anxious about Christmas, you are not alone. The holiday season is a difficult time for many people. If you have mounting angst about Christmas and New Year’s I have gathered some tips to help you survive the season.

Most experts warn us not to make comparisons. Do not compare your life to a Hallmark movie. Life is what it is. We can enjoy the reality if we leave expectations behind. Expectations are often the basis of many unhappy holidays. Accepting life for what it is, and not allowing the fantasy world of social marketing and Hollywood to alter our reality. If you can escape the expectations you will have taken the first step to improve your holiday experience.

1.)How can I Limit self-criticism? Try a dose of self-compassion. What is self compassion? Self compassion is a combination of recognizing that all humans make mistakes and that life is not a script and life experience is often unfair, flawed and imperfect. If you accept that reality up front it may lessen those awkward or frustrating moments when a family member makes a painful, or thoughtless comment.

2.)Hurt or angry feelings? Do not engage. Walk away. Take a short drive. A few minutes at a local park or nearby viewpoint can do wonders. I live at the Oregon coast and am just a few minutes from staggeringly beautiful viewpoints. Watching the crashing waves as they slam against the shore and then float away can help calm anger. Or, get physical. Go bowl a couple of lines, the physical sensation of throwing something heavy and head shaped down a long wooden alley may be all you need to restore your emotional equilibrium. **In 4th century Germany bowling was viewed as a cleansing ritual to remove the participant of sin. In 16th century England commoners were prohibited from bowling except on Christmas. So, combining the two you may find a recipe for holiday relief**.

3.) How to avoid an awkward situations? Excuse yourself and take a walk. Exercise is proven to reduce anxiety and depression. If it is a situation requiring more than a short walk put on your sneakers and take a run.

4.)Feeling Tired? Excuse yourself and take a nap. Sleep is important. Taking a nap is good self-care and is regenerative. Being well rested has a significant impact on our sense of well-being and sense of happiness.

5.)Feeling Cranky? Sometimes our body tries to send us messages, but we have lost touch with its clues. Frequently, irritability is triggered by thirst. Go for the water. Re-hydrate and see if your mood isn’t improved.

6.)If you are challenged on your politics? Let it go. Change the subject, or exit gracefully from the conversation. From personal experience I have learned that the holidays are not the best time to work out relationship problems. The holidays are too emotionally charged to choose it as a time to resolve conflict. In fact, it is probably time to recognize that we can’t change people, especially those in our family, so don’t even try.

7.)Need to escape? You are trapped, without a car, or for other reasons can’t leave. Try headphones and escape, or, take a luxury bath, or start reading that book that has sat next to your bed.

8.)No gift? It all depends on the situation. I suggest that you buy several bottles of moderately priced wine at the beginning of the holiday season and put each of them in dressy wine sacks and if you have a surprise guest that drops by a gift, you are always ready. What you don’t give away you can always drink yourself. If you are away from home and are given an unexpected gift and have nothing to offer in return, be gracious and appreciative, you can always follow-up with a gift or a card later.

9.)Feeling offended? Meditate. Take a break from your incessant mind chatter.

10.)Feeling lonely? Get outside yourself. Go volunteer. Connect. Give a hand to people who are struggling.

11.)Feeling sad? Make a list of your blessings. Practice gratitude.

Yale University researchers discovered that friends influence your happiness, and vice versa. So, it sounds like we are responsible for the company we keep. Surround yourself with happy people as much as possible.

Remember, if you are experiencing an especially bad time, please call for help. Lines for Life hotline is there 24/7 at 1-800-273-8522.

Calamity Politics is a Progressive on-line news magazine offering irritable comment on the current administration. Join the Resistance.

Merry Christmas,

Dar