Gut Instincts in 2020-Humor
By Anna Hessel
Good Intentions
Well, we are a month into the new year. I suppose we are all keeping our healthy New Year’s resolutions; or perhaps they have gone awry? I find more often than not good intentions dealing with weight loss, visiting the gym, or other health-related resolutions, by this time of year have hit the back burner.
Times are a Changin’
The power of mocha lattes cannot be denied.
Gut health seems to be big on the resolution scale this year. Back in the day, it was rather unladylike to discuss one’s guts, unless, of course, you were prepping fish. The times, they are a changin’, since it is now quite stylish to converse about your innards. I’m sure that mine are pretty and pink, happily filled with mocha latte, with maybe a few probiotics thrown in for good measure.
Fashionable Friends
My dear fashionable friend L.J., has taken an unusual interest in my gut health this year. She has gone so far as to suggest that I embrace ginger. L.J. recommends I take some ginger root and steep it in boiling water giving me a yummy little elixir that will do truly exemplary things for my mocha latte-challenged gut. Should I have the guts to actually drink this ginger miracle, I’m sure my system would dance an Irish Princess jig.
Following Through
I did actually go so far as to buy the ginger root, which looks like the dried up root stump of a dead bush. It now sits on the pantry shelf, taunting me – my gut reaction is to use it the next time we have sushi. My gut instinct tells me perhaps a simple cup of tea with a Krispy Kreme jelly doughnut chaser should perhaps replace the ginger culinary potion. Mind you, I’m not speaking of an exotic fig twig kumquat pomegranate purple berry blast tree bark tea – but an uncomplicated cup of chamomile laced with honey, drunk with one pink-polished pinkie extended.
Stand Up
Perhaps my gut advisor, the rather debonair L.J. will join me in a simple respite of Earl Grey, or orange pekoe. I think I will just resolve to stick to non-GMO, preservative-free, low-sodium, plant-based, meatless-Monday, actual-dairy, high-protein, real food in 2020 with a once-a-day multivitamin thrown in to top it all off. With that recipe I will allow my insides to take care of themselves. Furthermore I resolve to make frequent trips to the pool for water aerobics, to have the guts to stand up for my convictions, and of course, I’ll do it all with style…..
Anna Hessel is a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists
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