Women of a Certain Age

By Darlene Mitchell May 31, 2024 May 31, 2024 Update

Women of a Certain Age –

Barbie Birthday Edition…

Women of a Certain Age –

Barbie Birthday Edition…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

If “One Bad Apple”, “I Think I Love You”, “Pleasant Valley Sunday”, or “Ben” are on your playlist, you might be a woman of a certain age.
If you know what to ask any mermaid you happen to see…
If you know why Charlie has good taste…
If you ever polished your teeth with Pearl Drops (mmmmm)…
If you remember new Coke and new math…
If you ever swung on a tire…
If you ever sang about swinging on a star and carrying moonbeams home in a jar….
If you ever drank from the garden hose (don’t try this again)…
If you had a Betsy Wetsy, Suzie Cute, Chatty Cathy or Mrs Beasley doll…
If you ever used two tin cans and a length of twine as a communication device…
If you ever “drove” a Yugo, Le Car, Bobcat, or Pinto, not only are you of a certain age, I feel sorry for you…
If your baloney has a first and last name…
If you ever made a balcony appetizer with a pearl onion on a toothpick…
If you know what choosey moms choose…
If you ever shaked and baked, or “helped”…
If you know who was moving kind of slow, at the junction…
If your recipe cards include tuna casserole with potato chips crust and chicken ala king….
If you ever used recipe cards…
If you ever read a Weekly Reader…
If you know who Dick, Jane, Spot, and Puff are.
If you call math arithmetic…
If you recall when Pringles were just potato flavored only…
If you remember when M&M candies came in just plain and peanut…
If you ever used a Trimline or Princess phone (mine was pink)…
If you ever protected your manicure by dialing the phone with the eraser end of a pencil…
If when you hear Amazon, you think of a river in South America…
If you ever received a glass or a towel inside a box of detergent…
If you ever received a toy in cereal or a prize in a Cracker Jack box…
If you know Cracker Jack has nothing to do with crackers or a real man named Jack…
If you ever made a purchase with S&H green stamps…
If you ever clapped on, clapped off…
If you ever waxed on, waxed off…
If you ever owned any compilation by K-Tel….
If you owned an original pair of Candies’ clogs…
If you ever shopped at Peck and Peck, Sears, Wards, “Misc”, Murphy’s, Thom McCann, Buster Brown, or Lerner shop…
If you know who got no respect but had a lot of balls…
If your favorite summer Olympians are Mark Spitz, Olga Corbit, or Cathy Rigby…
If your favorite ice skater Olympic stars are Peggy Fleming, Dorothy Hamill, Liz Manley, Brian Botano, Brian Orser, or Scott Hamilton…
If you call a credit card a Charge-A-Plate…
If you ever walked through the Elizabeth Arden Red Door…
If you ever had an Adrian Arpel in-salon facial, and went on to follow her on QVC….
If you know who Elizabeth Arden and Adrian Arpel are….
If you ever used Youth Dew bath oil…
If you still use Jean Nate splash-on cologne…
If you have ever heard of splash-on cologne…
If you ever wore strawberry or lemon perfume …
If you ever wore Coty’s Emeraude perfume…
If your favorite cologne is named Charlie…
If you ever used a Trapper Keeper or a gel pen…
If you ever used a Day Runner…
If you ever were a candy striper…
If you recall when nurses wore caps and dresses…
If you ever owned blow mold Christmas or Easter lawn ornaments…
If you ever washed your hair with beer or used an egg white face mask …
If Hazel or Bewitched are one of your favorite TV shows…
If you know “You Got a Friend”….
If you were a Lustre Creme shampoo girl or had a Lilt permanent…
If you call Oil of Olay or Ponds cold cream…
If you know who Mike Douglas and his weekly co-hosts were…
If you ever watched “Apples Way”, “Lotsa Luck!” or “You Again” on TV…
If you ever owned a scarf clip or sweater fastener…
If you ever owned veiled hats or prim white gloves that are not for winter…
If you’ve ever sought advice from Ann Landers or Dear Abby…
If you know who Ann Landers or Dear Abby are…
If you are as old as Barbie, you are 65, and are definitely a woman of a certain age…

Happy birthday, Barbara Millicent Roberts – you look great for 65. Thank you for empowering girls and women everywhere to be whatever they choose to be…

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The Spider Series Commercial
“I’ve finished my 3 book Spider Series. If you’re into hot sex and heart pounding adventure please check it out. Available on Amazon. Thank you for your interest and support. D. S. Mitchell aka “Calamity” at Calamity News and Politics.
“There is nothing more inspiring than taking action against injustice.” D.S. Mitchell 2025
“If stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out of it.” Will Rogers
“If you can’t be a poet, be a poem.” David Carradine
“No god would want a child killed in his name.” D.S. Mitchell 2023
“Without music, life would be a mistake.” Friedrich Nietzsche
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” ― George Burns
“A politician thinks of the next election – a statesman of the next generation.” – James Freeman Clarke
“I want to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.” Arthur Ashe
“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty.” ― Albert Einstein
“So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
“Let’s just remember that social security is not the government’s money, it belongs to the people who had it taken out of the checks involuntarily their entire working lives.” Mike Huckabee
“I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.” ADELE
“The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” Christian Grey
“My favorite old car had no reverse gear. It taught me I could only go forward.” Flavia
“Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela
“Those who think they can control the mob are fools and are often the victims of their own incitement.” D.S. Mitchell 2021
“A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
“If now isn’t a good time for the truth I don’t see when we’ll get to it.” Nikki Giovanni
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.” Your mother
“Studying American politics has taught me several disgusting lessons, the first being, money buys friends in Congress. That alone should terrify the American public.” D. S. Mitchell 2021
“My art is my heart.” D. S. Mitchell 2015
“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.” Arthur Rubenstein
“Every lie is like stepping in a quicksand pit. Every lie as dangerous, as telling the truth.” D. S. Mitchell 2020
“Sometimes when challenged we find out we are capable of the unthinkable.” D. S. Mitchell 2022
“Surround yourself with those on the same mission as you.” Anonymous
“Dimming the lights will not hide the social injustice in America.” D. S. Mitchell 2017
“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. So I elect for neither label.” – James Branch Cabell
Smile
"If puppies and kittens don't make you smile, you might consider therapy." D. S. Mitchell 2015.
“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill
“Every moment is a fresh beginning.” T. S. Eliot
“Voting is like a prayer.” Raphael Warnock 2021
“We are all valuable. The problem is not everyone is smart enough to realize it.” D. S. Mitchell 2021
“I wonder, if you were blind, lost and confused, would you care what color the offered hand?” D. S. Mitchell 2015
“Silence in front of savagery is savagery itself.” Abhijit Naskar
“To be happy and contented, count your blessings, not your cash.” Chinese Proverb
“We can never be too busy to be kind.” D. S. Mitchell 2017
RIP RBG
“The rain falls because the cloud can no longer handle the weight. The tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.” The Wise You
“Let my old days be my best days,” Cousin Lucille
“In no instance have… the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people.” James Madison
“Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.” Charles Dickens
“Thoughtful people are slow to anger, not necessarily less efficient in their killing.” D. S. Mitchell 2019
“Endings are not always bad. Most times they’re just beginnings in disguise.” Kim Harrison
“The United States like so many countries around the world has chosen to give to the few and deny the many.” D.S. Mitchell 2020
“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. This is true, its called life.” Terry Pratchett
“Trickle down economics is like having three dogs and giving one of them a hot dog, and thinking he’ll share.” Bill Maher
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” John Kenneth Galbraith
“When people start acting as though the past is the same as the present and context doesn’t matter, things start to get dangerous.” Trevor K. McNeil 2020
“Pardoning the Bad, is injuring the Good.” – Benjamin Franklin
“I don’t need to attend every argument I’m invited to.” Unknown
“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret between the shadow and soul.” Pablo Neruda
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” ― Bruce Lee
“I have been far oftener discriminated against because I am a woman than because I am black.” Shirley Chisholm 5/21/1969
“The turning points of lives are not the great moments. The real crises are often concealed in occurrences so trivial in appearance that they pass unobserved.” ― George Washington
“We only fail when we fail to try.” Rosa Parks
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” Thomas Jefferson
“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” Albert Einstein
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
“The 7 Social Sins are: Wealth without Work; Pleasure without Conscience; Knowledge without Character; Commerce without Morality; Science without Humanity; Worship without Sacrifice; Politics without Principle.” Frederick Lewis Donaldson
“All evils are equal when they are extreme.”-Pierre Corneille
“Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” John F. Kennedy
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” Isaac Asimov
“People without vaginas shouldn’t be able to regulate them.” Unknown
“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.” Edward Langley, artist
“Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln
“When sleeping women wake, mountains move.” Chinese proverb
“If people stopped searching for things that offended them and started looking for things that inspired them; what a wonderful world this would be.” Night Owl
A Poem For Don and Vlad
A Poem For Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin
“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” Booker T. Washington
“To argue with a person who has given up reason is like administering medicine to the dead.” Thomas Paine
“Imagination is the bridge between the things we know for sure, and the things we need to believe, when our world becomes unbearable.” Staceyann Chin
“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
“Inspiration descends only in flashes to clothe circumstances; it is not stored up in a barrel, like salt herrings to be doled out.”Patrick White
“I will not allow my life’s light to be determined by the darkness that surrounds me.” Sojourner Truth
“Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.” Doug Larson
“Law without humanity is injustice.” D. S. Mitchell 2020
“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear, is the beginning of wisdom.” Bertrand Russell
“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” Plato
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Women of a Certain Age

Women of a Certain Age –

Barbie Birthday Edition…

Women of a Certain Age –

Barbie Birthday Edition…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

Related

Pages

The Spider Series Commercial

“I’ve finished my 3 book Spider Series. If you’re into hot sex and heart pounding adventure please check it out. Available on Amazon. Thank you for your interest and support. D. S. Mitchell aka “Calamity” at Calamity News and Politics.

“There is nothing more inspiring than taking action against injustice.” D.S. Mitchell 2025

“If stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out of it.” Will Rogers

“If you can’t be a poet, be a poem.” David Carradine

“No god would want a child killed in his name.” D.S. Mitchell 2023

“Without music, life would be a mistake.” Friedrich Nietzsche

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” ― George Burns

“A politician thinks of the next election – a statesman of the next generation.” – James Freeman Clarke

“I want to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.” Arthur Ashe

“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty.” ― Albert Einstein

“So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

“Let’s just remember that social security is not the government’s money, it belongs to the people who had it taken out of the checks involuntarily their entire working lives.” Mike Huckabee

“I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.” ADELE

“The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” Christian Grey

“My favorite old car had no reverse gear. It taught me I could only go forward.” Flavia

“Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela

“Those who think they can control the mob are fools and are often the victims of their own incitement.” D.S. Mitchell 2021

“A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

“If now isn’t a good time for the truth I don’t see when we’ll get to it.” Nikki Giovanni

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.” Your mother

“Studying American politics has taught me several disgusting lessons, the first being, money buys friends in Congress. That alone should terrify the American public.” D. S. Mitchell 2021

“My art is my heart.” D. S. Mitchell 2015

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.” Arthur Rubenstein

“Every lie is like stepping in a quicksand pit. Every lie as dangerous, as telling the truth.” D. S. Mitchell 2020

“Sometimes when challenged we find out we are capable of the unthinkable.” D. S. Mitchell 2022

“Surround yourself with those on the same mission as you.” Anonymous

“Dimming the lights will not hide the social injustice in America.” D. S. Mitchell 2017

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. So I elect for neither label.” – James Branch Cabell

Smile

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill

“Every moment is a fresh beginning.” T. S. Eliot

“Voting is like a prayer.” Raphael Warnock 2021

“We are all valuable. The problem is not everyone is smart enough to realize it.” D. S. Mitchell 2021

“I wonder, if you were blind, lost and confused, would you care what color the offered hand?” D. S. Mitchell 2015

“Silence in front of savagery is savagery itself.” Abhijit Naskar

“To be happy and contented, count your blessings, not your cash.” Chinese Proverb

“We can never be too busy to be kind.” D. S. Mitchell 2017

RIP RBG

“The rain falls because the cloud can no longer handle the weight. The tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.” The Wise You

“Let my old days be my best days,” Cousin Lucille

“In no instance have… the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people.” James Madison

“Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.” Charles Dickens

“Thoughtful people are slow to anger, not necessarily less efficient in their killing.” D. S. Mitchell 2019

“Endings are not always bad. Most times they’re just beginnings in disguise.” Kim Harrison

“The United States like so many countries around the world has chosen to give to the few and deny the many.” D.S. Mitchell 2020

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. This is true, its called life.” Terry Pratchett

“Trickle down economics is like having three dogs and giving one of them a hot dog, and thinking he’ll share.” Bill Maher

“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” John Kenneth Galbraith

“When people start acting as though the past is the same as the present and context doesn’t matter, things start to get dangerous.” Trevor K. McNeil 2020

“Pardoning the Bad, is injuring the Good.” – Benjamin Franklin

“I don’t need to attend every argument I’m invited to.” Unknown

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret between the shadow and soul.” Pablo Neruda

“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” ― Bruce Lee

“I have been far oftener discriminated against because I am a woman than because I am black.” Shirley Chisholm 5/21/1969

“The turning points of lives are not the great moments. The real crises are often concealed in occurrences so trivial in appearance that they pass unobserved.” ― George Washington

“We only fail when we fail to try.” Rosa Parks

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” Thomas Jefferson

“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” Albert Einstein

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The 7 Social Sins are: Wealth without Work; Pleasure without Conscience; Knowledge without Character; Commerce without Morality; Science without Humanity; Worship without Sacrifice; Politics without Principle.” Frederick Lewis Donaldson

“All evils are equal when they are extreme.”-Pierre Corneille

“Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” John F. Kennedy

“People without vaginas shouldn’t be able to regulate them.” Unknown

“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.” Edward Langley, artist

“Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln

“When sleeping women wake, mountains move.” Chinese proverb

“If people stopped searching for things that offended them and started looking for things that inspired them; what a wonderful world this would be.” Night Owl

A Poem For Don and Vlad

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” Booker T. Washington

“To argue with a person who has given up reason is like administering medicine to the dead.” Thomas Paine