HUMOR: Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show

HUMOR: Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show

HUMOR: DOC TRUMP’S TRAVELING MEDICINE SHOW

By I.B. Freely

Panacea

COVID-19 got you down? Worried about the long-term effects of the most toxic and contagious viral infection since Spanish Flu? Fear not citizen! Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show has the cure for the most common ill of our age. And he should know, they don’t come much more common than frat-boy-in-chief.

A Spoonful of Toxin

Far beyond mere ‘science,’ this galaxy-brained very stable genius can know if a  treatment will work just by ‘feeling it.’ The pandemic will soon be a thing of the past. Even if Doc Trump has to poison half the population to reach this seemingly lofty goal, which is really no more than his god-like job’s worth. Besides which, as any Dread Pirate worth their cocaine powder knows, a little bit of poison helps build up immunity.

No, Really, Go Drink Bleach

Crowning the tippy, tippy top off Doc Trump’s list of brilliant, perfect, foolproof cures is humble bleach. It obviously kills bacteria, so it must utterly obliterate viruses, right? Viruses and bacteria are exactly the same thing, after all. Don’t let the biased infectious disease “experts” fool you. The skull and crossbones warnings jugs are really more of a guideline, than a hard and fast “truth.” It has even been promoted by a baptist preacher, a group known to have never lied or even exaggerated about anything at any point in the 6,000 year history of the earth, who was kind enough to give a demonstration on how to inject bleach up one’s nose.

Some Light On the Matter

Imbibing cleaning products not your thing? The quacks are all agreed that the use of ultraviolet light is an effective treatment for COVID-19. The only real stumbling block is that said light would have to to be used on the molecular level. The president said it on TV so it must be true. Never mind that he has been caught in upwards of 20,000 lies in the last four years. Criticizing a president for dishonesty is like chastising an assassin for a lack of empathy.

Science, I Guess

For the superstitious types who will insist on having some ‘scientific evidence’ behind their miracles, Doc Trump has you covered as well. Whole heartedly supporting a wonder drug known as Hydroxycloroquine. A real actual, malarial drug, the name of which only sounds like a fatally toxic aquarium cleaner. So read the labels carefully, as the drug in its proper form poses absolutely not health repercussions or draw-backs whatsoever. Aside from the occasional fatal massive heart-attack. Then again, the higher the death rate from heart-attack and accidental poisoning the lower the COVID infection rate will be. A result  sure to landslide the smartest man in the world right back into the Oval Office. Not that has anything to do with the price of coke in Columbia.

All Natural$

Natural remedies are also very important when it comes to battling COVID-19. Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show is in full support of making the magical plant Oleandrin widely available as a health supplement. As well as pushing the FDA to officially name it a cure for COVID-19. The fact that the plant in question is so toxic that a single leaf can send a rottweiler to join the Choir Invisible is just a technicality. As no doubt stated by MyPillow.com founder Mike Lindell during the White House meeting he was granted. The fact that Lindell was fined $1,000,000 for false health health claims regarding his pillow notwithstanding. Perhaps they could suggest cyanide or night shade next.

 

Kamala Harris: Go Easy on ‘Em Kid…

Kamala Harris: Go Easy on ‘Em, Kid…

By Anna Hessel

History in the Making

Joe Biden made history with his selection of the bright, beautiful and tenacious Kamala Harris as his running mate.  As Vice President Biden points out, “There is no door Kamala won’t knock on, no stone she’ll leave unturned, if it means making life better for the people.”  Joe originally met Senator Harris through his son Beau.  Joe valued his son’s respect for the strong-willed senator from California.  Kalama and Beau became friends when both were state AG’s and worked on financial institution reform.

Day One

Biden knows Ms. Harris has demonstrated her ability to be a leader from day one.  As the Attorney General for the state of California, she ran one of the biggest governmental legal organizations in the world, and is a member of the Senate Judiciary and Intelligence committees.

Rooted in Community and Excellence

Women of all races and walks of life identify strongly with this spirited heroine.  Kamala Devi Harris is 5’ 2” of pure energy and strength. This pretty, petite powerhouse has stood for justice since she was a child.  Senator Harris is an East Bay native, deeply rooted in the area, She was born October 20th, 1964, in Kaiser Oakland Hospital, Oakland, CA.  Her name Kamala, means “lotus” and refers to empowered women.

Mom and Dad

Her parents were immigrants and academics. Donald Harris, her father, is an emeritus professor at Stanford University. Her mother Shyamala Gopalan Harris, worked at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory.  Shyamala attended the University of Delhi, completing her undergraduate degree when she was only 19.

A Family Of Activists

Kamala’s grandmother,  Rajam Gopalan, who married at the age of 16. Rajam was considered an upper-caste wife.  She used her elite class status to help disadvantaged women in India. She was famous for driving around in a Volkswagen Beetle, announcing through a bullhorn how underprivileged women could access birth control.

Grown to the Sky

Kamala holds a Bachelor of Arts in economics and political science from Howard University. Ms Harris  received her law degree through Hasting College Legal Education Opportunity Program for Students from Adverse Backgrounds.   She was elected as the Attorney General of California in 2010. She was reelected in 2014.  In 2016, Ms. Harris became the junior senator from California, making her the third female senator from California, and the first South Asian American senator and the second African-American woman elected to the United States Senate.

In the Beginning

The fearless Senator Harris has always fought for our nation’s good. She has worked tirelessly for the American people, a lifelong leader for civil rights and public safety.  Kamala’s political career spans decades, and her exposure to activism started early.   Her parents, met at UC Berkeley and shared a  passion for civil rights. When Kamala was still a toddler her parent’s took her to numerous campus protests.  As a toddler, fussing little Kamala was once asked what it was she that she wanted – having already attended several civil rights rallies, the adorable, precocious tyke replied, “fweedom”.

A Childhood Like So Many Others

When she was only seven years old, her parents divorced.  Kamala was raised by her mother in a yellow duplex in Berkeley, along with her little sister Maya.  While in first grade, she was one of a group of students bused to Thousands Oaks Elementary School, a very prosperous upper-class Caucasian neighborhood.

Movin’ On Up

Maya and Kamala attended both an African-American Baptist church, as well as a Hindu temple, at the same time.  Ms. Harris was influenced by her grandparents when she visited India as a child.  Her grandmother was an activist and her grandfather was a government official of high-rank, both educating and fighting for the rights of the Indian people.  She attended high school in Montreal, where her mother taught at McGill University, and also held a position at Jewish General Hospital as a cancer researcher.  13-year-old Kamala, along with younger sister Maya, successfully led a protest outside their apartment building due to the policy that prohibited children from playing out front on the lawn.

Been There, Done That

Harris had wanted to be a lawyer since childhood.  Harris interned for Senator Alan Cranston of California, worked as a press aide at the Federal Trade Commission, and even served as a tour guide at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing.  Her role models include Charles Hamilton Houston, Thurgood Marshall, and Constance Baker Motley.  Kamala advocates for abuse victims, and works to educate the public that certain behaviors such as dress and music do not necessarily equate to gang membership.

Apples Fall Close to the Tree

Her sister Maya received a B.A. from UC Berkeley, and then her law degree from Stanford.  She was in charge of her sister’s presidential campaign, having worked in television as a commentator and as an executive director of ACLU for Northern California.  Her husband, Tony West, served during the Obama administration as an Associate United States Attorney General, and now is the Chief Legal Officer for Uber Technologies, Inc., in San Francisco.

The Fruit Begins to Show

The stunning and stylish Ms. Harris joined the sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha while at Howard University.  Also, during her time at the school, she ran her first campaign, for the freshman representative position on the liberal arts student council, and was also a member of the debate team.  Howard taught an excited Kamala that you can be many things – the homecoming queen can also be the valedictorian, channeling Elle Woods.

“What, Like It’s Hard?”

Daily after classes in law school, she helped potty-train her niece. Recalling the experience in 2018, Harris said, “I’m dealing with this brutal stuff, dog-eat-dog in school, and then I would come home and we would all stand by the toilet and wave bye to a piece of shit.  It will put this place in perspective.”  She passed the bar exam on her second try in 1990. The same year, she joined the Alameda County Prosecutor’s Office in Oakland, as an Assistant DA.

Working to Keep Victims From Being Victimized Further

She was recruited by the San Francisco District Attorney’s Office to help end teen prostitution.  Ms. Harris’ goal for these young women was to view them as victims, not criminals, selling sex.  She has always advocated for women and children. She was instrumental in developing the San Francisco Department of Public Health program which enables emergency rooms to identify evidence of sexual abuse.   Kamala is the co-founder of the Coalition to End the Exploitation of Kids, pushing the strengthening of laws to end profiteering of those under age.  Her efforts produced San Francisco’s very first safe house for minors to escape sexual exploitation.  Ms. Harris’ creativity and influence has resulted in punishment for perpetrators victimizing youth.

Getting on the Right Track

Even when she receives criticism, she does not back down from her principals.  Kamala insists that it is imperative to be “smart on crime.”  “Back on Track” is a program, she helped design for non-violent lower-level drug traffickers. The program offers life skill and job training, with the chance to avoid a prison sentence.  Only 10% of the program’s graduates had repeat offenses, contrasted with the typical recidivism of 53% for those with drug convictions.  Her rehabilitative program is more cost-effective than jail time.  She refuses to consider offenders as lost causes.

Attending to the Heart of the Matter

Ms. Harris also targeted the truancy of elementary school children when she discovered that nearly 95% of those murdered before the age of 25 in the San Francisco area happened to have dropped out of high school.  Those who were very often absent while in grammar school were more susceptible to leave high school prior to graduation, typically by age 35 ending up dead or jailed.  She developed programs to assist parents with school attendance.

Raising the Bar

In 2003, Kamala Harris ran against her former boss  to become the first African-American female elected DA in California.  Within her first three years as the District Attorney of San Francisco, conviction rates increased from 52% to 67%.  She endorsed her friend Barack Obama when he ran for the Senate in 2004, and in 2010 she went on to win the race for the state’s top attorney.  Attorney General Harris filed a successful civil enforcement action citing “widespread misconduct” on foreclosures against OneWest Bank.

Fashion and Plate

The fashionable and funny vice-presidential nominee often sports pearls and has an extensive collection of Converse sneakers, including platform versions and All-Stars.  Her unique style rocks; a high-low mix of classic attire.  Not since 1984, when Walter Mondale chose Geraldine Ferraro as his running mate, have we had the pleasure and progress of a female vice-presidential nominee.   Rumor has it she enjoys a good burrito, and loves cheeseburgers, but admits we need to establish more healthy eating habits, reducing red meat consumption.  She also recognizes the importance of American families being able to put food on the table.

Food Network Calling?

Kamala loves to cook.  In a video she shows Senator Mark Warner the proper way to assemble a yummy tuna melt.  She can roast a chicken with the best of them, using salt, pepper, chopped herbs, lemon zest, and minced garlic, trussing the poultry and allowing it 24 hours in the fridge. Then rubbing it with butter or oil, and slow-roasting it at 325 degrees for at least a couple hours, making a sauce of the drippings and using the leftovers for a scrumptious chicken salad.

Wife and Stepmom

She is married to prominent entertainment attorney Douglas Emhoff. Harris and Mr. Emhoff met on a blind date set up by a friend. Senator Harris is tough and courageous, yet still has a big heart – her two stepchildren affectionately call her “Momala”.

Making History

She is also resolved and resilient – in 2017, her rather persistent grilling, which had Jeff Sessions remarking he was “nervous” after only three-and-a-half minutes of her interrogation, went viral. Another viral moment came during the intensive questioning of Brett Kavanaugh during his Supreme Court Justice confirmation hearings in 2018.   During the 2019 Democratic Presidential Debates, Joe Biden quipped to Kamala Harris to, “Go easy on me, kid…,”  Six months later he chose this amazing woman to make history as his running mate. If elected she will become the first female and minority Vice President in U.S. history.of the United States.

‘Beeing’ Herself

The lady Donald Trump referred to as, “nasty”, we call, “insurmountable, decisive, intelligent, and caring”.  Kamala allows us to see her fun-loving side. One video shows her  attired in leggings, a jacket, and sneakers, dancing like everybody’s watching, and we are.  On November 3rd, my leggings, jacket, and sneakers are ready to join our new Vice President-elect in a victory dance – “you go, girl….”

Documentary: White Night Riots

Gay In America

Documentary: White Night Riots

*Editor’s Note: When Trevor McNeil’s article “Gay In America” was published last week this documentary was supposed to accompany it. Well, it didn’t. So, here we are. Let’s try it again.

Daniel White murdered San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official in the country. Each victim was shot 5 times. When White was found guilty of manslaughter the crowd awaiting the verdict began to riot.

 

Lionel Richie “Three Times A Lady”

“You’re once, twice, three times a lady…

Lionel Richie: “Three Times A Lady”

Anna Hessel was jumping up and down when we let her know she had just been tapped to choose the Calamity Politics jukebox song of the day. So in honor of her upcoming article on Kamala Harris Anna chose “Three Times A Lady” by Lionel Richie. Enjoy!

Policing Problematic Puppy Mills

Policing Problematic Puppy Mills

By Wes Hessel

 Producing Pets For Pure Profit

 By definition a “puppy mill” is problematic.  These breeders raise animals purely for profit.  At best,  conditions barely meet legal minimum standards.  Most often there is flagrant disregard of laws and the animals’ welfare, subjecting animals to horrendous conditions.

Per Wikipedia

Per Wikipedia, a codified uniform legal characterization has not yet been made.  A case law definition was established in 1984 by Avenson v. Zegart, as “a dog breeding operation in which the health of the dogs is disregarded in order to maintain a low overhead and maximize profits”.   “Emphasis on quantity over quality, indiscriminate breeding, continuous confinement, lack of human contact and environmental enrichment, poor husbandry, and minimal to no veterinary care”, is how The Humane Society of the United States’ (HSUS)  Veterinary Medical Association describes the practice.

Make It Stop..

Senior director John Goodwin of The Humane Society of the United States is spearheading a stop puppy mills campaign.  The goal of the campaign is to activate the average citizen. Goodwin believes it is imperative that citizens report puppy mills and then refuse to  patronize stores who sell animals that come from these suppliers.  Some Mennonite and Amish communities have concentrations of puppy mills, particularly in Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.  The Midwest has a large percentage of the offenders: the animal protection organization’s “Horrible 100” has five Indiana dog breeders on the list, for example, one of which is tied for the seventh worst.  Missouri, who has the highest number of puppy mills in the U.S., reported two breeders with significant numbers of emaciated dogs and abhorrent conditions.

It Gets Worse…

An Iowa  puppy mill with 650 dogs had more than 50 that were ill or injured.  Some of these operations have over a thousand canines in their charge.  Circumstances at smaller breeders aren’t necessarily better.  The Attorney General of Michigan is pursuing action against an AKC breeder for allegedly deceiving customers, euthanizing unwanted puppies, and selling sick animals.  A Kansas puppy miller admitted to shooting and killing over two dozen dogs.  Some others have been known to drown animals rather than go to the expense of humane euthanasia.

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Senior Concern: Don’t Lose Your Car Keys

Senior Concern: Don’t Lose Your Car Keys

D.S. Mitchell

Don’t Lose Your Car Keys

D. S. Mitchell

Drivers Over 70 Increasing

Having a car gives a person freedom. Recently, two of my close friends have lost their driver’s licenses. In both cases, medical issues were the cause.  It made me think about  driving despite advancing age. The number of drivers who are 70 years or older is increasing. There have been significant strides in reducing deaths among elderly drivers. Over the last two decades the number of people over 70 killed in car crashes has dropped by nearly 20%. In fact, today’s older drivers are involved in fewer crashes per mile traveled than those in any previous generation.

Better Vehicles

Today people are walking away from crashes that might have killed their grandparents.  One reason for the dropping death count is that vehicles are safer than ever before.  The side air bag was introduced in 2008. The benefit of the side airbag has been dramatic with deaths dropping significantly.  Furthermore many older drivers today enjoy better health than driver’s of the same age decades ago.  Such factors allow older drivers to function safely longer.  However, there will come a time when you will need to consider giving up your car keys.

Chronic Diseases

Many health conditions can compromise driving skills. Some of the most common conditions are cataracts, arthritis, Alzheimer’s disease, sleep apnea, and diabetes. The decision to quit driving is a major life decision, it can have resounding effects. Emotionally the former driver may feel less competent and capable, more dependent and as such more vulnerable.  They may become depressed. With that aside, the most important question to ask is it safe to keep driving?

Warning Signs

Five questions to ask:

1.) Has reading road signs become difficult?

2.) Are you anxious and stressed while driving?

3.) Have family or friends said they are scared to have you drive?

4.) Physical limitations ? (Such as not being able to look over your shoulder).

5.) Taking medications that cause drowsiness or side effects that impair driving ability.

If you said yes to any of the above questions and you want to continue driving consider the following suggestions.

Rethink You Meds

If your medication makes you drowsy or interferes in your concentration you should talk to your doctor.  Your doctor may be able to switch you to a medication without those debilitating side effects. In some cases your doctor can place restrictions on your license. A study found that older citizens successfully self regulate their driving after it becomes clear that certain restrictions are warranted. An examples would be no night driving.

A Consultant

A driver rehabilitation specialist can help a driver who has become anxious and uncertain about their continuing ability to drive safely. The specialist offers suggestions based on their assessment of the driver’s capabilities. For  example he or she may suggest vehicle modifications that could help make the  time behind the wheel less physically taxing.

Take A Class

The driving environment has changed dramatically over the  last fifty years (since you got your first license). There are many new laws and there is much heavier traffic. Taking a class for older drivers can give a senior driver new confidence. Participating in a senior driving course could also qualify you for a car insurance discount.

Vehicle Upgrades

The Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) has identified several upgrades that are proven to help reduce crashes for older drivers: rearview cameras that can help drivers see better while backing up; automatic emergency braking systems; collision warning systems; and blind spot and lane-departure warning systems that help drivers avoid lane change crashes.

 

Editorial: Rules Of Engagement

EDITORIAL: Rules of Engagement

By Trevor K. McNeil

The Social Contract

In every society there is a basic order. The notion of an ‘anarchist society’ largely paradoxical. The primary manner in which societies are organized is through a set of norms and protocols agreed to by the members of that society. It is what Rousseau referred to as ‘the social contract.’ Anyone who takes part in the organized society is assumed to have agreed to the social contract. Which Ted Yoho presumably did when joining congress.

Elephants All the Way Down

Sadly, we all know what happens when you assume. Despite the presumption of agreement, there are always those who operate outside the social contract yet still remain within society. Banishment and execution of dissidents having rather gone out of style in many nations. So the disaffected and dismissive not only remain in society but in some cases rise to the very top of it. Such as the current leaders of Brazil, Turkey, Russia and the United States of America. Being an ‘outlier’ becoming something of an advantage in terms of gaining power in the 21st century. The most ready explanation for how a reality show host so monumentally stupid that he thinks the Spanish Flu happened in 1917 and Thomas Jefferson fought in the Civil War,  became president.

No Core Meaning

The primary issue with the social contract is that it was devised by humans and is only as good as the humans involved in any society. There seems to be no core meaning to things or the manner in which things are supposed to be done. That is not to say they have no meaning, just that the meanings people have are fictional rather than inherent. Rather than the way things ought to be done, the social contract lays out how things are assumed to be done. The structure of society being humans all the way down, to borrow a phrase from Bertrand Russell. Sadly, Ted Yoho is one such human.

The Unexpected

The main reason that everyone was so shocked by what happened between Yoho and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was not actually the words he used to describe her. Both expletives used on a daily basis in all sorts of context. The main cause of the shock was hearing a congressman direct the slurs at a professional colleague. The presumption that men like Yoho “are better than that” because they hold elected office should be an expectation. At least while they are at work. Yoho was not only being rude and misogynist, but he was also shattering the expected protocol.

A Reality Problem

Yoho said other things, both during the confrontation and after. His tacit denials and defenses hung mostly on the notion that he can’t be sexist because he has daughters is laughable and absurd.  A kin to trying to claim that Hitler wasn’t really anti-Semitic  because he was half Jewish. Or a racist white person refereeing to their one ‘black friend.’ The fact that they feel the need to point this out speaking volumes about their true thoughts on the subject.

The Age Of Trump

Yoho allegedly asked Ocasio-Cortez “do you really think people are shooting and killing each other because they’re hungry?” Yes Ted, that is exactly what I think. Mostly because food insecurity and the desire to get it even by illegal or violent means has been a factor in human society dating back to the cave era. It is obvious that we have a man elected to office that is ignorant of basic history and sociology.  Though no surprise in the age of Trump.

A Peek Into Our Culture

Representative Yoho has used sexual vulgarities in an attempt to marginalize AOC. Yoho revealed himself a misogynist whose view is that of a man who feels comfortable disrespecting  and degrading women. In a country where domestic abuse is on the rise and there is no place for public disrespect for women, certainly not in the halls of Congress.