Be Your Own Valentine-Humor
By Anna Hessel
It’s That Time Again
The cold and blustery days of February are here, once again bringing one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day. Of course, reminders are everywhere. Just like pumpkin spice in the fall, this month brings us heart-shaped everything, from butter knives to nail files, and the phrase “Be Mine” is emblazoned on nearly every surface of retail establishments.
A Heart Shaped Pizza
This year, my husband and I will be celebrating by attending a screening of my favorite film, “Legally Blonde”, at the library, followed by the requisite romantic dinner, or maybe we’ll opt for a heart-shaped pizza – mine just might be topped with a pair of heart-shaped gold earrings. Of course I have my story ready, “Honey, I found them by accident, really; I mean I wasn’t snooping in your sock drawer, or coat pocket – I was looking for the heart-shaped butter knife, and just happened upon them”.
Elle Woods, Post-Warner
I know for many people Valentine’s Day can be irksome when they don’t have someone special to spend the holiday with. I’ve had a few throw-my-ex’s-picture-on-the-floor, stomp on it while wearing Jimmy Choo heels, rip it to shreds, throw it off a bridge into the churning waters in the river below, go back home, eat a box of heart-shaped chocolates, washing them down with Merlot, while listening to Herschel & The Hillbillies croon romantic ballads made popular by Engelbert Humperdinck, all the while wearing a ratty bathrobe (mine was pink with tiny purple hearts) and clutching my pink princess teddy bear with rivulets of black mascara running down my cheeks, scaring my fur-babies with my outbursts, finishing my evening with slices of cucumbers on my red puffy eyes, kind of Valentine’s Days in my past.
The Valentine Within
These less than stellar Valentine’s celebrations have taught me Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance – it’s about loving yourself, too, because God only makes quality. Sometimes quality comes complete with extra pounds, laugh lines, gray hairs, wrinkles, bad-hair days, and cellulite; I will always be a girly girl and consider taking care of one’s physical appearance extremely important, but real beauty comes from the confidence we find within ourselves.
Give Yourself a Treat
Be your own Valentine – treat yourself to a mani-pedi, read an Eve Ensler play, binge watch something uplifting, build a snowwoman, volunteer at a local animal shelter, belly dance like everybody is watching, buy a new floppy hat (mine will be pink), bake cookies from scratch (and actually eat a few, too), drink a mocha latte, wear a tiara, and, of course, buy new shoes, because celebrating you will never go out of style…
*Ms. Hessel is a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists
