Tag: #Valentine’s Day

Hints Your Valentine Might Not Be A Romantic

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Hints Your Valentine Might Not Be A Romantic

Hints Your Valentine Might Not Be A Romantic

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 Here are 14 warning signs your date isn’t Cupid-approved:

  1. His idea of a romantic evening out involves a monster truck rally or tractor pull.
  2. He drops a hint that maybe you will be getting something sparkly and he gifts you a roll of ‘Sparkle’ paper towels.
  3. Instead of a heart shaped box of chocolates you get an expired granola bar with a left over Christmas bow on it.
  4. He spends half the evening comparing you to his ex (you need to run away screaming).
  5. He brings an old college chum that happens to be in town along on your date.
  6. He lives with his mom.
  7. He tells you to wear your paint clothes and ratty old sneakers on your date.
  8. He wears paint clothes and ratty old sneakers on your date.
  9. He keeps staring at his reflection in every glass surface he passes.
  10. Every gift he gives is stamped “made in PRC.”
  11. He arrives for your date with no gift and an explanation that the Dollar General had already closed.
  12. He brought an open half drunk bottle of wine for your romantic evening at home.
  13. His Valentine’s Day present is a re-gift from Christmas.
  14. A romantic dinner with this guy involves a bucket of chicken and a can of beer.

More food for thought:

In recent weeks, I have seen a number of ads for un-Valentines celebrations and I find it disparaging for such a beloved holiday. There is an old song entitled “What the World Needs Now is Love (Sweet Love)” – it goes on to say, “It’s the only thing, that there’s just too little of”; I agree. “Lord, we don’t need another mountain, There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb…” Yes, what the world needs now is love for our fellow men and women. Love for all humanity.

I know Valentines Day is about romantic love, but for this year let’s make it about love for all humankind, animals, and our planet. Let’s perform an act of kindness before we devour frilly pink and red heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and heart-shaped pizzas. A smile or a wave. Hold a door open for someone, send a card, hug somebody that needs it, agree to disagree with kindness. “Love thy neighbor as thyself”. Practice self love: take a break from social media, binge watch Hallmark movies with your significant other and your fur babies, take a bubble bath, get a massage and pedicure. Eat healthy, do some yoga, because as another tune teaches us, “love in any language, straight from the heart”, has style…

Chew on This for Valentine’s Day

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Chew on This for Valentine’s Day

Chew on This for Valentine’s Day

Editor: Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m hope everyone finds a diamond in their soup.

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

All That Glitters

I am a simple kind of girl – give me some plain ol’ chocolates in a velvet heart-shaped box with a big ribbon and an even bigger diamond, then I am content. As long as my chocolate confections come with a little something sparkly, I am happy.  My husband is big on placing jewelry in food – nothing says romance like a cracked molar and expensive, extensive dental work…

Cuisine Creative

My first diamond cocktail ring arrived in a dish of carrots because it was a “1 carat” ring.  My engagement ring was presented, much to the delight of the charming waitress at Red Lobster, in a plate of mussels – my husband’s theory was since pearls come in oysters, diamonds can come in mussels.  Another diamond ring embedded in tiramisu (ladyfingers…) appeared at our favorite Italian restaurant.  A sapphire ring came atop a cupcake; my diamond and sapphire wedding set was encased in a miniature pink gumball machine.  Hmm, I wonder what I’ll find topping our heart-shaped pizza this year (hint, hint…).  Fortunately, I never broke a tooth on or ingested any of this jewelry, so I don’t have any trips to the emergency room stories to share.

He Shelled Out…

So I asked my spouse to get me something expensive and rare this Valentine’s Day. I am enjoying my dozen eggs – I might just bake him a cake with them. Maybe once “The Donald” leaves office, I can get a heart shaped box of Whitman chocolates, a pink stuffed bear (just not Trumpy Bear), and a dozen long stem roses instead.

The Good Ol’ Days

I was looking over some vintage Valentine’s Day ads recently – they sure bring back memories of Whitman samplers, red dresses with Peter Pan collars, and those adorable little valentines with the small white rectangle envelopes that have a lick strip straight across the top that we were forced to give to everyone in our classroom, whether you liked them or not. I would wear my crimson velvet dress with shiny black Mary Jane’s and the requisite white socks trimmed in lace, a big red bow in my hair. With giggly anticipation, every little girl in kindergarten and first grade awaited the pile of white envelopes on our desk top.

Sugar Rush

The red napkins came next, then frosted vanilla cupcakes with pink sprinkles and gumdrop hearts, topped with sugar and a chocolate Hershey’s Kiss. This was our grammar school celebration for the sweetest of holidays. We washed the caloric red dye food coloring down with even more sugar laden red hued beverages. A plastic punch bowl adorned with a scoop of sherbet and a splash of ginger ale, or if you happened to be from the Pittsburgh area like me, a cherry Little Hug.

Dance Like Teacher’s Watching

Off to the gymnasium to learn to dance with a reluctant partner and work off the sugar high. My Barbie and kitten Valentine cards were passed around with a flourish. I received a stack of puppy and Hot Wheels cards in return. We lined up in pairs of two to receive our box of conversation hearts for the road. Sticking our tongues out (when the teacher wasn’t looking our way) at the little boys that stepped on our beloved shiny patent toe pinchers while we learned to waltz. Those were the days – our hearts were full of joy and our little party had style…

Food For Thought-The Valentine’s Edition

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Food for Thought – the Valentine’s Edition

 

Food for Thought-the Valentine’s Edition

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

I (Heart) Ketchup

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Most of us are seeing all things red and, of course, pink. All this thought of red makes me think about my favorite condiment: ketchup (NOT catsup). My other half was quite upset when I put ketchup on his white truffle fries. Since I originally hail from the Steel City, the home of Heinz, I put ketchup on just about everything. You can take the girl out of Pittsburgh, but you can’t take the Pittsburgh out of the girl. I love many brands but good ol’ Heinz is my favorite.

Seeing Red

My spouse is from the Chicago suburbs, and didn’t understand ketchup on eggs, steak, potatoes, beef, pork, etc. – things we don’t eat much of but when we do, requires the red stuff. In the nearly three decades I’ve lived in Chicagoland, I have yet to understand Chicago hot dogs: bright green relish and, gasp, no ketchup. I’ve been known to sneak a few contraband packets into Gene and Jude’s. I recall a barbeque at the home of my husband’s relatives. I searched for my favorite elixir and then I saw it, nestled amongst the questionable condiments, turned a paltry brown with age. I was forced to use barbeque sauce on my burger; now, I’m not bashing BBQ sauce – it’s great on chicken and ribs – but for a burger or a hot dog, I love me some Heinz.

And Again…

Another cookout some months later at the same household brought forth the same ancient bottle of antiquated ketchup. As I reached for the steak sauce, I made a mental note to decline further invitations to dine at the house of these folks. Perhaps a nice Heinz gift basket with a double-volume set on entertaining etiquette and food safety would make a lovely Christmas gift for the residents of that domicile. At least there was nothing pumpkin spice served, but how I longed for ketchup, vibrant red, sweet and spicy like me.

It’s No Truffle, Really

In my opinion, truffles should be chocolate, but for V-Day, must we “trufflize”?  Nobody knows the truffles I’ve seen while researching to write this: salted caramel truffles, dark chocolate ganache truffles, lavender chocolate truffles, fudgy brownie truffles, applesauce truffles, cookie dough truffles, strawberry shortcake truffles, cake batter truffles, S’mores truffles, pink champagne truffles (I’ll take one of those), huckleberry jelly truffles, buttercream frosting truffles, French vanilla bean truffles, green gumdrop truffles, salted mango truffles, lemon/lime truffles, Tamarind truffles, rum raisin truffles, hollandaise truffles, cherry cola truffles, banana split truffles, blueberry cheesecake truffles, pecan pie truffles, chocolate milkshake truffles, tangerine truffles, green tea truffles, passionfruit truffles, orange Jello truffles, peanut butter and jelly truffles, rhubarb truffles, jelly bean truffles, mocha latte truffles (I’ll have two of those), the dreaded pumpkin spice truffles, and just in time for your Valentine, Love Bug truffles.  I ask you, what happened to Whitman’s Sampler, or the Hershey’s Pot of Gold?

All That Glitters

As long as my chocolate confections come with a little something sparkly, I’m happy.  My husband is big on placing jewelry in food. – nothing says romance like a cracked molar and expensive dental work.  I am a simple kind of girl – give me some plain ol’ chocolates in a velvet heart-shaped box with a big ribbon and an even bigger diamond, then I am content.  This year, however, we are dressing up and going to a fancy restaurant for truffle oil pasta and mushrooms, poached salmon with white truffles, and black truffle risotto, because we got style…

HUMOR: Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day Humor

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love

Valentine’s Day Humor

By Anna Hessel

The Wonder Years

The cold days of February bring thoughts of one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day.  Some of my fondest memories involve Valentine’s fun.  We all remember when we were growing up getting those tiny Valentines in their little white envelopes placed in a big wooden box on the teacher’s desk.  Each year my miniature Valentines had a different theme: puppies, kittens, Barbie, and of course, princess.  My earliest Valentine’s memory is my kindergarten campaign to provide trousers for that little guy with the bow and arrow, since it was cold outside.   Those timeless teddy bears with pink and red bows, and heart-shaped boxes of candy covered in ruffles, bring back many teenage memories.

Flying Hearts ACA

Of course, I have a few specific Valentine’s memories: one in particular was actually after Valentine’s Day: I snatched up all the clearance conversation Sweetheart candies as I had just won the Miss American Sweetheart Pageant, and decided tossing boxes of stale Sweethearts during summer parades was a classy thing to do – this idea was short-lived, however, thanks to that guy on the corner with the sunglasses on his head.  I’m still amazed at how far a pair of shades can travel when they come in contact with an airborne box of conversation hearts.

Gourmet Jewelry

My favorite Valentine’s memory was when my husband and I were found by an adorable black terrier in our condo parking lot on a particularly cold Valentine’s Day.  We named him Cupid, and he was a part of our family for over 17 years.  In more recent times, Valentine’s Day has been celebrated by my spouse’s penchant for hiding expensive jewelry in food.  My first diamond cocktail ring arrived in a dish of carrots because it was a “1 carat” ring.  My engagement ring was presented, much to the delight of the charming waitress at Red Lobster, in a plate of mussels – my husband’s theory was since pearls come in oysters, diamonds can come in mussels.

Ladyfingers

Another diamond ring embedded in Tiramisu (ladyfingers…) appeared at our favorite Italian restaurant.  A sapphire ring came atop a cupcake; my diamond and sapphire wedding set was encased in a miniature pink gumball machine.  Hmm, I wonder what I’ll find topping our heart-shaped pizza this year (hint, hint…).  Fortunately, I never broke a tooth on or ingested any of these gifts so I don’t have any trips to the emergency room stories to share.

Can He Take a Hint?

Now if your significant other isn’t a foodie romantic, and you don’t receive bracelets or earrings in side dishes or desserts, then perhaps a few well-placed hints will get you the goodies you desire this Valentine’s Day.  If you do seek something sparkly, put a jewelry catalog in his toolbox.  Or if you’re like me, a gift certificate for a mani-pedi is a perfect present – I suggest placing a flyer from your favorite salon in his sock drawer.

Don’t Forget The TV Remote

If a romantic dinner is on your wish list, wrap coupons from a favorite place to dine out around a six-pack of beer and secure it with a pink ribbon.  My personal favorite hint, sure to work every time, is to tape a business card from the local flower shop on the TV remote control – he’ll never miss that.  No matter how you end up celebrating, may your Valentine’s Day be blessed with style…

Valentine’s Day Memories

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Valentine’s Day Memories

By Anna Hessel

Valentine’s Day Memories

The cold days of February bring thoughts of one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day.  Some of my fondest memories involve Valentine’s fun.  We all remember when we were growing up getting those tiny Valentines in their little white envelopes placed in a big wooden box on the teacher’s desk.  Each year my miniature Valentines had a different theme: puppies, kittens, Barbie, and of course, princess.

A Kindergarten Memory

My earliest Valentine’s memory is my kindergarten campaign to give trousers to that little guy with the bow and arrow, since it was cold outside.   Those timeless teddy bears with pink and red bows, and heart-shaped boxes of candy covered in ruffles, bring back many teenage memories.

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Be Your Own Valentine-Humor

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Be Your Own Valentine-Humor

By Anna Hessel

It’s That Time Again

The cold and blustery days of February are here, once again bringing one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day. Of course, reminders are everywhere.  Just like pumpkin spice in the fall, this month brings us heart-shaped everything, from butter knives to nail files, and the phrase “Be Mine” is emblazoned on nearly every surface of retail establishments.

A Heart Shaped Pizza

This year, my husband and I will be celebrating by attending a screening of my favorite film, “Legally Blonde”, at the library, followed by the requisite romantic dinner, or maybe we’ll opt for a heart-shaped pizza – mine just might be topped with a pair of heart-shaped gold earrings.  Of course I have my story ready, “Honey, I found them by accident, really; I mean I wasn’t snooping in your sock drawer, or coat pocket – I was looking for the heart-shaped butter knife, and just happened upon them”.

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