Don’t Do It-Suicide Is Permanent
Don’t Do It-Suicide Is Permanent
Editor: This is an updated version of an article first posted on this site on 12/06/2021. Depression is on the increase in the United States and right along with it suicide. If you are in distress, reach out, ask for help, call a friend, or dial #988, the National Suicide Hot Line.
D. S. Mitchell
Just The Facts
If you are between 15-35, suicide is the second leading cause of death for your age group. For all age groups, suicide is responsible for more deaths than murder and natural disasters, combined. Men take their own lives four times as often as women. Many men sadly would rather be dead than seem ‘weak.’ In 2020, 17 veterans committed suicide every day.
Those Left Behind
As you can see by the statistics, suicide is not a rare, or in any way an isolated event. It is very real and definitely permanent, and it leaves those who are left behind, in utter despair. For them the suicide event is plagued by stigma, guilt and self-recrimination. The most common question from those left behind is, “what could I have done differently?”
Personal Experience
My half-brother, Kenny, 12 years my senior and a Navy veteran of the submarine service, killed himself when I was 16. He had locked all the doors in the house, gone into the garage, sealed all around the doors and windows, put a hose in the exhaust pipe of his car, ran the hose into the passenger compartment and turned the car engine on. Although Kenny and I weren’t particularly close, he was a sweet guy that did not deserve to die. I saw the effect his suicide had on my father and other family members. It was devastating. I’m sure my father never got over it. Kenny’s young son, not a year old, was denied a father, his young wife denied a husband.
Crisis Psychiatry
I became a Registered Nurse and worked for many years in Crisis Psychiatry. In that role I saw the face of depression and innumerable attempted suicides, day after day. I have held the hand of a man who could not see beyond his own pain. I have sat next to a vet who couldn’t stop shaking from the night terror of PTSD. Mental illness and various addictions are often part and parcel with the depression and the overwhelming inner pain. Often the effort to stop the pain involves self medicating with alcohol, prescription drugs, and/or street drugs, which in turn complicate the issue.
Pain Is Subjective
Emotional pain is a subjective experience. To someone other than the suffering individual, the person’s feelings may seem to be completely disproportionate to the person’s life. That dichotomy of ‘reality’ and ‘feelings’ often creates guilt within the suffering individual, because of their inability to cope with life’s challenges, that they see other people dealing with every day.
Your Future Self
If you are one of the many millions who have contemplated suicide, but sought help and are still here, I am so glad you decided to stay and I hope you are satisfied with that decision. To stay, to live every day allotted to you, is to honor your future self, to give that future self a chance at happiness. For whatever reasons you chose to stay; for your family, for your faith, I understand it takes great courage to stay and continue to face your daily pain. The world can bring extraordinary joy and incredible sadness but I believe sticking it out is the right choice.
Actionable Symptoms
If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms please seek help.
- Talking about self harm, wanting to die, or kill yourself
- Describing life as “hopeless” without purpose, feeling “trapped”
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Noticeably agitated, anxious, or reckless behavior
- Expressing feelings of unbearable pain
- Extreme mood swings
- Displays of rage
- Plans to “get revenge.”
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing from normal relationships, self isolation
- *THERE IS A PLAN* (this is one of the last steps a person does BEFORE committing suicide, please take such plans as extremely serious)
What to Do
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, or are showing any of the listed signals, tell someone. Call the new national suicide hotline #988.
Please stay. Tomorrow is worth living, and every day after that, too.
