It Still Hurts
It Still Hurts
Editor: Be patient with yourself, grieving doesn’t have a time limit.
D. S. Mitchell
Wooo-Wooo-Fooo-Wooo
Lilly Rose was my last dog. She was a rescue dog, and this girl had a mind of her own and if she objected to my instructions, she would let me know her thoughts on the matter. She is the only dog I ever had that argued with me. I mean it, she literally argued with me. She would plant her butt and give me the wooo-wooo-fooo-wooo back talk and then go to her house, lay down, or sit; whatever had caused her to give me the back talk. She was funny and kept me laughing and engaged all the time. But, most important Lilly was loving and gentle and always knew when and how to comfort me.
Seven Gifts From God
I’m nearly 80 years old and over these many years I have had seven dogs. Seven incredible gifts from God. My first dog, I named Lady. I named her after Lady from Disney’s, “Lady and the Tramp” film, released in 1955. I was eight when my mom and dad brought my new blonde puppy home in a shopping bag. I was 20 years old and about to get married when it became obvious Lady was suffering and mom and I talked it over and Lady was euthanized. Mom and I sat there in the vet’s exam room, holding hands as our precious Lady left this world for a life uninhibited by pain and old age.
Anticipatory Grief
It is gut wrenching when a beloved pet is taken from us. I still love Lady; sixty years after she passed. I still love, Joey, Luv, Blue, Thai, Midas, and Lilly. With each goodbye I learned a few tricks to ease the pain. With each of my pets I had watched my pet’s health decline, had talked to the vet about prognosis, and agonized over when would be the right time to let go. According to Juno DeMelo in a 9/2023 article in Real Simple magazine, “it’s not uncommon for owner’s to experience what is called anticipatory grief-mourning the loss before it happens.” Juno suggests that once we recognize our pet’s decline we create a bucket list for our fur baby; a steak for dinner, allowed to bark at nothing, a run on the beach without a leash. Juno tells us such a bucket list “helps with any feelings of (our) regret.”
Write About It
My mom always would say, “write about it, get it off your chest.” Juno suggests something similar. She suggests we write an obituary or a eulogy for our dead pet. Keep it private or share it with family or friends. You may want to share it with social media followers. Juno suggests people include what they learned from their pet. She suggests that such an action helps remember not just our pets last days but the beginning and the middle of their life.
Keep Their Memory Alive
Memorialize the pet in some manner. An obvious choice would be to donate to an animal charity in the pet’s name. How about a paw print, to mount on the wall? I like the idea of incorporating the dogs ashes into a glass bead to wear around my neck. Or, the pet’s license can be turned into a fun necklace. Here’s another fun one-turn the pet’s water bowl into a planter. I especially like the idea to bury the pets ashes in a biodegradable urn that can grow into a tree (thelivingurn.com).
Say No To Timelines
Be patient with yourself, because grief can peak at a wide variety of time, anywhere from two months to two years after a pet’s death. It’s okay. Some days are better than others. Lilly’s been gone now for four years. I still talk to her, but I’m beginning to feel it is time to bring another dog into my life.
