47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47

47 Things More Pleasant Than  Trump 47

47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47

Editor: I have been avoiding the TV news recently; because his name, the sound of  his voice, his tweets, his quotes are the rantings of a demented old geezer that ‘otta be in a forensic unit at the Florida State Hospital instead of pretending to run the 21st century government of the United States. Before Trump sank into the depths of a terrifying dementia he was a thieving grifter who had fooled a lot of people for a long time. He has no respect for the law because he has always broken it and gotten away scot free while making huge sums of money. Now he is scamming the United States government for a whole bunch of cash for those who will claim false prosecution. Only in America. Holy fuck, what a terrible epitaph for this once glorious country. So with all that said, here’s Cate again with a few things she would much rather hear about than Donald Trump.

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

47 is the worst excuse for a “president” ever…and I mean E-V-E-R. So with said, here are 47 Things I think are more pleasant than Donald John Trump

  1. A peanut butter and pickle casserole – I will never call “The Donald” president
  2. Stepping on a screw
  3. Gastric disturbance
  4. The fragrance of a garbage truck
  5. Cotton mouth – I will never call “The Donald” president.
  6. Extreme physical pain
  7. A root canal without Novacaine
  8. Cockroachs – I will never call “The Donald” president
  9. Stomach flu
  10. Food poisoning
  11. COVID – I will never call “The Donald” president
  12. Poison Oak and Poison Ivy
  13. Dog poop – I will never call “The Donald” president
  14. Toilet back-up
  15. A sewer back-up
  16. A rectal exam – I will never call “The Donald” president
  17. Sink holes
  18. Razor burn
  19. Rat infestation – I will never call “The Donald” president
  20. Nails on a chalkboard
  21. Cellulite
  22. Stubbing a toe on pointy heavy furniture – I will never call “The Donald” president
  23. Crepie skin
  24. Being mooned by a stranger, or anyone for that matter
  25. A flasher in the produce aisle of the grocery store – I will never call “The Donald” president
  26. A flat tire during a rain storm
  27. Losing water pressure while showering
  28. Black ice – I will never call “The Donald” president
  29. The stirrups, if you are female
  30. Turn your head and cough, if you are male
  31. A kick in the balls – I will never call “The Donald” president
  32. Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  33. Cleaning up hairballs from the sofa
  34. Spending the night in a haunted house – I will never call “The Donald” president
  35. A clogged drain
  36. Arriving at the water park to discover someone threw up in the pool
  37. Finding a dog accident the hard way – I will never call “The Donald” president
  38. A can of warm soda or beer
  39. Running out of toilet paper
  40. A dead battery in subzero temperatures – I will never call “The Donald” president
  41. A gas gauge on E when you are running late
  42. A sprained ankle
  43. My in-laws – I will never call “The Donald” president
  44. A traffic citation
  45. Finding a fly in your soup
  46. The laugh of a hyena – I will never call “The Donald” president
  47. Creepy clown with orange hair – oh wait, that IS “The Donald”…
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