47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47
47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47
Editor: I have been avoiding the TV news recently; because his name, the sound of his voice, his tweets, his quotes are the rantings of a demented old geezer that ‘otta be in a forensic unit at the Florida State Hospital instead of pretending to run the 21st century government of the United States. Before Trump sank into the depths of a terrifying dementia he was a thieving grifter who had fooled a lot of people for a long time. He has no respect for the law because he has always broken it and gotten away scot free while making huge sums of money. Now he is scamming the United States government for a whole bunch of cash for those who will claim false prosecution. Only in America. Holy fuck, what a terrible epitaph for this once glorious country. So with all that said, here’s Cate again with a few things she would much rather hear about than Donald Trump.
By Cate Rees-Hessel
47 is the worst excuse for a “president” ever…and I mean E-V-E-R. So with said, here are 47 Things I think are more pleasant than Donald John Trump
- A peanut butter and pickle casserole – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Stepping on a screw
- Gastric disturbance
- The fragrance of a garbage truck
- Cotton mouth – I will never call “The Donald” president.
- Extreme physical pain
- A root canal without Novacaine
- Cockroachs – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Stomach flu
- Food poisoning
- COVID – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Poison Oak and Poison Ivy
- Dog poop – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Toilet back-up
- A sewer back-up
- A rectal exam – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Sink holes
- Razor burn
- Rat infestation – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Nails on a chalkboard
- Cellulite
- Stubbing a toe on pointy heavy furniture – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Crepie skin
- Being mooned by a stranger, or anyone for that matter
- A flasher in the produce aisle of the grocery store – I will never call “The Donald” president
- A flat tire during a rain storm
- Losing water pressure while showering
- Black ice – I will never call “The Donald” president
- The stirrups, if you are female
- Turn your head and cough, if you are male
- A kick in the balls – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Irritable Bowel Syndrome
- Cleaning up hairballs from the sofa
- Spending the night in a haunted house – I will never call “The Donald” president
- A clogged drain
- Arriving at the water park to discover someone threw up in the pool
- Finding a dog accident the hard way – I will never call “The Donald” president
- A can of warm soda or beer
- Running out of toilet paper
- A dead battery in subzero temperatures – I will never call “The Donald” president
- A gas gauge on E when you are running late
- A sprained ankle
- My in-laws – I will never call “The Donald” president
- A traffic citation
- Finding a fly in your soup
- The laugh of a hyena – I will never call “The Donald” president
- Creepy clown with orange hair – oh wait, that IS “The Donald”…














































































































































