A Gut Reaction to Superfoods

A Gut Reaction to Superfoods

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Topic of Conversation

With pre-, pro-, and other biotics being one of the biggest things in nutrition for a while now, how your gut is doing continues to be a significant topic of conversation. Back in the day, it was rather unladylike to discuss one’s guts, unless, of course, you were preparing fish.  The times, they are a changin’, since it is now quite stylish to converse about one’s innards.  I’m sure that mine are pink, and happily filled with mocha latte, with a few probiotics thrown in for good measure. My dear fashionable friend L. J., however, has taken an interest in my gut health, suggesting that I acquire some ginger root and steep it in boiling water for a yummy little elixir that will do truly exemplary things for my mocha latte-ridden internals.  Should I have the guts to actually drink this, I’m sure my system would dance an Irish Princess jig.

My Gut Instinct

I did actually purchase the ginger root, which looks like the stump of a weed.  It sits on the pantry shelf, taunting me – my gut reaction is to use it the next time we have sushi.  My gut instinct tells me perhaps a simple cup of tea with a jelly doughnut chaser could perhaps replace this culinary potion.  Mind you, I’m not speaking of an exotic fig twig kumquat pomegranate purple berry blast tree bark tea – an uncomplicated cup of chamomile laced with honey, drunk with one pink-polished pinkie extended, will do.  Perhaps the rather debonair L. J. will join me.  I think I will just resolve to stick to non-GMO, preservative-free real food in 2026, have the guts to stand up for my convictions, and of course, I’ll do it with style…

The Culprit

But those intestines can get you, if you’re not careful. I can recall trick or treating as a very small child, when we could all have yummies without worrying about the effects of allergic reactions. I never had any allergies back in the day, but as a woman of a certain age, I am sure killing it now. After many years of enjoying various flavors of rice, I am now intolerant of this particular grain, it appears. A small cup during a quiet afternoon at home had my anaphylactic self in bed for days. A quick cooking medley of long grain and wild rice, flax, and chia seeds was the culprit.

No Laughing Matter

Hmmm, I had thought that flax and chia were “superfoods”. I wrote before about these allegedly highly nutritious fares – I wasn’t exactly impressed back then, either. Nothing super about being sick. Food intolerance and allergies are no laughing matter, with many people suffering through horrific and sometimes fatal reactions. Having been hospitalized for a moldy raspberry from a salad bar in the past, I can attest that allergic reactions to food is serious business. For more information on food allergies and sensitivity, please visit www.acaai.org/allergies/allergic-conditions/food/. And in case you’re wondering, no, the “acaai” in this web address is not an alternative spelling for that superfood that is so last decade…

Superfoods for Superheroes

I will stick to regular plain old fruits and veggies, leaving the seeds to the birds. Aren’t Chia seeds what they use in Chia pets? That late night, TV-advertised Christmas gift that I hope no one buys me. Oh, I agree they have had some cute Chia’s – Scooby Doo is my personal favorite. They have, however, had a few questionable-in-taste “cha-cha-cha-cha” Chia heads over the years, “The Donald” version being the most nauseating. Chia decor I will certainly take over Chia seeds in my food these days, no Chia pudding for me, thank you  – I would rather eat a kale kumquat casserole, peanut butter curry pickle parfait, or a pumpkin spice tofu mousse. I will stick to real foods: spinach, broccoli, bananas, oranges, and the like. Simple tastes, with clean, old fashion, healthy ingredients, leaving certain superfoods to superheroes, because allergic reactions can cramp one’s style…

Come Fall…

Come fall, although it’s really more like August now with the pre-release hype, we are in the land of pumpkin spice; candles, air fresheners, lattes, donuts, Oreos, cakes, breads, butters, jellies, lotions, toothpaste, and even cat food.  What ever happened to plain old pumpkin pie, smothered in a half-can of Fat Free Reddi Whip?  I personally enjoy a pumpkin spice muffin, washed down with a mocha latte, however, I prefer to brush my teeth with something minty fresh, not tasting of sugar and spice, and if I tried to serve pumpkin spice to my cat Prada, she would simply hiss and immediately turn over her bowl.  I had heard on K-Love Radio some time back that maple walnut was about to come on the scene and blow pumpkin spice out of the water – I might love me some maple walnut if it’s in a coffee cake, but I don’t care to wash my hair with it or serve it to my dog Sasha in the form of a biscuit.

Not in my Garden

All of this fall food obsession got me to thinking again about “superfoods”, such as the craze about “maca” – it allegedly alleviates symptoms of menopause including depression, balances hormones, improves fertility, and is an aphrodisiac.  Supposedly, it can be calming and energizing at the same time, while having the aroma of yummy butterscotch.  In California, it also comes with a lead warning, and pregnant women are advised not to eat it; I might add if I ever saw it growing in my garden, I would likely scream and turn the hose on it – it has the appearance of a small troll. As I noted earlier, not that ginger is great on the appearance score, either…

Coconut Oil and Kale

Now I am a fruits and veggies kind of girl, not without my vices (those we may discuss in the future), so I do try to keep it healthy.  But I honestly must admit I don’t understand the obsession with coconut oil and kale: I have used coconut oil to moisturize my cuticles and I have attempted kale in many ways; I learned on “The Real Girl’s Kitchen” that kale needs to be gently massaged prior to consumption – even after a Shiatsu rubdown and a pumpkin spice facial, kale is still no more appealing, so I decided that I would take a trip to Massage Envy myself, and throw away the over-pampered leafy green.  I do not like it on a plane, I do not like it on a train.  My fridge even features a magnet from my doctor which states, “Kale is not the answer to all of your health problems”.

Mega Stuf Oreos

Therefore, I have come up with my own list of superfoods: at the top is Oreos Mega Stuf – mega and super are synonyms, so this is clearly a superfood; I am going to increase my consumption of these and stop buying the lower fat variety.  Next, we have Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia FroYo – this is a very balanced food: low fat yogurt, the antioxidant fruit cherries, and dark chocolate, which has proven health benefits.  Having spent my childhood summers on my uncle’s dairy farm, my fat-free milk must come from a cow, and not be treated with growth hormones.  In my opinion, milk does not come from a nut or a bean.  Move over coconut oil and kale, Ben & Jerry is on the scene – with style…