Women of a Certain Age In a Modern Era
Women of a Certain Age In a Modern Era
By Cate Rees-Hessel
Women of a certain age, here are three scenarios of life in the world today – may we always be able to laugh at ourselves. Tushy selfies on social media, medical mishaps, and deodorant differences are modern stories for our times:
Licking My Elbow
I found a lingerie clad female, complete with a bare backside, on my husband’s social media. He was rather unimpressed with her “assets”, and my sister thought she looked like a man. I, however, was very displeased with the friend responsible for bringing this individual into our lives. When I emailed my online buddy to inform her that there was a moon out tonight on my husband’s Facebook page, and that her new chum was smiling on both ends for all the world to see on my spouse’s timeline, she was very apologetic, explaining she barely knew the culprit when she accepted her friend request. Had she known she would target her other friends significant others, she would have blocked the person.
My pal, in an effort to make up for her new acquaintance’s behavior, sent me a how to video giving play by play advice to teach me how to take a rear end selfie of my very own. Huh? A derriere selfie is like licking your elbow – it can’t be done, can it? One must need to be contortionist to accomplish this feat. I informed my friend that my cell phone doesn’t have a wide angle lens – things are definitely larger than they appear. I assumed the backside bimbo on social media had a “photographer” do the deed for her. I was never good at the game “Twister” and I am not double jointed, but I must admit my curiosity was peaked. It can’t be any more difficult than the fifth position in ballet…
I donned my spanx leggings (with rear-lift technology built in) and gave it a whirl, twisting and turning while setting the camera at a jaunty angle just like my friend suggested. I wasn’t sure my husband would want this display on his page, either, but what the heck. Needless to say I threw my back out and fell on the floor right on my said tushie. En route home, after my trip to the chiropractor, I stopped at a medspa for a non-invasive Brazilian butt lift, because my rear view has style…
