HUMOR: Abolishing “Age Appropriate” Attire

HUMOR: Abolishing “Age-Appropriate” Attire

By Anna Hessel

Looking Back

 I’ve been spending some time reflecting on 2020 – what a disaster!  I am, however, very proud of the fact that I kept almost all of my New Year’s resolutions so far for this year: to buy more shoes, drink more mocha lattes, and I certainly hope I was of service in some way to God and humanity.  I graciously invited Mr. Louboutin and Mr. Choo to join Mr. Blahnik in my closet.  I drank so many skim decaf black mocha lattes that both our local Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts have each dedicated a chair in my honor.  A pandemic summer without the pool is as good a time as any to reflect on old memories as we look forward to new ones.

Reality Check

One such memory came to mind when I was sorting through my brand-new shoe acquisitions.  This remembrance is from some years ago, when one of my all-time favorite cable television “reality” shows did a nationwide tour with a stop at a local area mall.  The program was TLC’s “What Not to Wear”; I still have a collection of old VHS tapes of numerous episodes from the show’s 10-year run.  From 2004 through 2013 (I began watching in the second season), I relied on style experts Clinton Kelly and Stacy London to educate, inform, and entertain, with realistic, thought-provoking, and sensible fashion advice.

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HUMOR: For Whom The Bell Tolls

HUMOR: FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

“Calamity News and Politics believes in free speech no matter what your opinion. We however, do not think it is okay to threaten or insinuate harm to someone who disagrees with your opinion.  Stop bullies. Stand up for free speech.” (Editor: D. S. Mitchell) 

T.K. McNeil

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Death. One of the greatest fears in life. Though still not quite as much as public speaking. As Jerry Seinfeld pointed out, according to the statistics, more people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. Or, as another notorious brain box once said, “life is beautiful, death is peaceful, it is the transition that can be troublesome.”

When A Writer Gets A Death Threat

You might well be wondering why the change? When did Calamity’s resilient humorist switch over to gallows humor? First of all, it’s not recent (as my essay “Dark Candy” will attest). Second, I’ve had  reason to meditate on the dead recently. Introspection brought on by betting some very creative death threats.

Not What You Think

I am used to criticism. You have to be when you write for a living. You can’t appeal to everyone and that is fine. Even if they fall short of Dorothy Parker in terms of their retorts. Things go pear-shaped when criticisms and retorts are replaced by violence and threats. This is why death threats can be so effective. Just the threat of violence is often enough. The issuing of a Fwata can be as, if not more, effective than an assault with machine-guns. As happened to British Novelist Salman Rushdie and the Charlie Hebdo offices respectively. There are few faster ways to silence someone than threatening to do it permanently.

Trump Card

Political violence is nothing new. The majority of assassinations in the last century or so were of a distinctly political flavor. Even in the last few years things have been amping up. It has come to the point where there are fist-fights and machine-guns at political rallies. There are even fatalities. Such as the death of Heather Heyer in Charlottesville. Trump has made many changes to the national fabric. Making it dangerous to engage in political discourse is one of the worst.

Heathen!

Imagine my surprise when the messages wishing me fiery death and parking tickets came not from my copious political writings. What really ticked off the loonies was my writing on the more fringe aspects of culture. Particularly those dealing with religion as well as subject the religious think they have a right to weigh in on. I am not someone who can stand to see people getting kicked for no reason. An attitude which has seen me speak up on behalf of everyone from Wiccans to Metalheads to independent porn producers  and modern LaVeyan Satanists. The last of whose ideology is basically atheism with a floor show, which they will be the first to tell you. While I am sometimes rather critical of those who persecute such groups, my goal is always to foster greater empathy. Even for people you might think you have nothing in common with.

Can’t Type Straight

Yet this has somehow lead to me being labeled, let me check my notes here, a “satanic, sinful, goat-f**king, god-hating, misogynist, pro-free market, baby killing, apostate who will suffer the righteous wrath of the faithful before enduring the eternal fires of hell.” I would have sent a reply but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t type straight.

 

Impact of COVID-19 On Sub-Saharan Africa

Impact of COVID-19 in Sub Saharan Africa

By Michael Leonard Douglas

*Calamity News and Politics.com

*Our Man in Africa: Michael Leonard Douglas grew up in Birmingham, England. Michael has an undergraduate degree in Arts, with a major in Design.  Michael currently resides in Nairobi, Kenya. In addition to contributing to Calamity Politics, Michael manages a freelance writing company, WritersInc. Michael’s first piece for Calamity Politics was, “Animal Cruelty Linked to Human Rights.” 

COVID-19 Lands

Nigeria became the first Sub-Saharan African country to report a case of the novel coronavirus on February 25th 2020. The patient was an Italian who had flown in from Milan, Italy. Italy was one of the places hardest hit by COVID-19. Since it’s arrival in Sub-Saharan Africa, the disease has spread dramatically. The statistics change daily but as of last week South Africa led with 622,551 total cases followed by Nigeria at 53,727 cases, Ethiopia at 49,654 cases, and Ghana at 43,949 cases (WHO, 2020).

COVID-19 Measures in Africa

The moment the World Health Organization (WHO) declared COVID-19 a pandemic in February 2020, African countries rapidly established containment measures including,, the closure of borders, active promotion of hand washing, social gathering restrictions, and mask wearing. A COVID-19 awareness campaign was activated to debunk rising myths and mistruths surrounding the disease (Osseni, 2020). These quick actions taken by Sub-Saharan African governments are, so far at least, working to keep case numbers down.  In fact, Africa south of the Sahara still has a lower case rate than most of the world.

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The History of Portland Protests

Calamity Video Casts – The History of Portland Protests

The police in Portland have been dealing with our unique protesting style for years. Outsiders just don’t understand the need to stay home and not interfere. You can find Dave huddling in a bunker miles from the center of action!  Look for David Shadrick’s weekly video cast on Calamity News and Politics.

 

HUMOR: No Laughing Matter The Defamation of Clowns

HUMOR: NO LAUGHING MATTER

The Defamation of Clowns

By I.B. Freely

Wokeness

“Representation.” A major buzzword in the modern media landscape. “Wokeness” has become the name of the game, with little resistance. Much like how Mussolini managed to take-over all of Italy without a shot being fired. Just marched in and took the seat of power. Looking very stylish while doing so.

Exceptions

Inclusion has become job one on film sets and at publishing houses.  Oppressed minorities fighting damaging stereotypes of the past. Ones which saw African-American actors not being  taken seriously until Sidney Poitier, except for the ones who were. Women didn’t have it much better, acting mostly as foils, motivation or “eye-candy.” Except for the ones who weren’t. Muslim thespians, meanwhile, are still dreamily  nostalgic for 1980s and early-1990s. When terrorist and villain roles were reserved for Brits, Germans, Russians, Irish Republicans and Jeremy Irons.

The Ignored

Despite the leaps and bounds made in terms of “representation”, there are still some crushed under the shiny, black jackboot of prejudice. Groups who even self-proclaimed liberals and SJWs (Social Justice Warriors) think absolutely nothing of mocking and vilifying. Only adding to the pain and violence visited upon the down-trodden and ignored.

Clowning

Once  a position of great respect, the vocation of clowning requires a post-secondary education to practice. The ancient vocation serving as the inspiration for one of opera’s most iconic roles. The truly tragic Pagliacci, defined in the 1980s by none other than Luciano Pavoratti. Ask your parents.

Not The Same

Sadly, the humble clown, who only ever wanted to make people happy, has plummeted in terms of social regard in recent centuries. Not only mocked, their name becoming a term of insult, it has become socially acceptable to portray members of the clowning community as the ultimate evil.

A Trend

While rarely recognized as such, the slanderous stereotype of “killer clowns” have been a horror staple since 1980s. Pennywise, the big bad in Stephen King’s novel It, is the granddad of the killer clown trope in horror. A trend continued in the 1988 “cult classic” Killer Klowns from Outer Space. A so-called “funny” horror film, which is really little more than vile, anti-clown propaganda from fade in to credits roll. Such foundations being the framework upon which everything from Halloween costumes to the crime against music known as The Insane Clown Posse are hung.

Culturally

The original “scary clown” archetype in popular culture, presenting the practitioners of the royal art as painted faced psychopaths, is The Joker. First appearing in Detective Comics (DC) in 1940, The Joker has developed into the most feared and hated character in modern culture. Presented evil as the night is long and twice as scary. Try that with any other recognized minority and just see how fast you get curb stomped in the metaphorical.

To The Rescue

There is hope however. A group of reasonable adults with no obsessive or reductive tendencies at all, no sirree bob, have formed the Organization for Representation of Clowns or O.R.C. Let us hope these brave freedom fighters can help address a grave crime against humanity that has gone on for far too long.

Women’s Suffrage: 100 Years In Retrospect

Women’s Suffrage: 100 Years in Retrospect

By Anna Hessel

 A Century and Counting

Our nation just celebrated the 100th anniversary of the passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution which gave women the universal right to vote.  “You’ve come a long way, baby…” but we have an even longer way to go.  The women’s suffrage movement was a decades-long fight, giving females their voting rights, but the battle for equality is far from over.

The Fight Heats Up

In 1875, women’s suffrage had reached a monumental mark when Mrs. Virginia Minor filed suit against the State of Missouri for her constitutional right to vote in the presidential election.  The case wound up in the Supreme Court.  Unanimously, the justices claimed the privilege to vote was not a fundamental right of United States citizenship, and further asserted the denial of her voting rights was not protected by the 14th Amendment.

Coming Together for the Common Good

Before 1890, the American Woman Suffrage Association (AWSA), specifically worked toward securing a woman’s right to vote by a federal Constitutional amendment.   The National Woman Suffrage Association (NWSA) had their focus on the passage of women’s voting rights legislation on a state-by-state-basis.  That year they joined forces, becoming the National American Woman Suffrage Association (NAWSA).  Strategical arguments had threatened to derail progress towards the goal on more than one occasion.

The Twenties Roar Right Out of the Starting Block

The 1920 ratification brought enormous changes for ladies in that decade.  These “Thoroughly Modern Millie’s” were scandalous, bobbing their hair, tying their pearls in a knot, painting their faces, and raising their hemlines.  Men found themselves in a quandary, as these new-fangled females were standing strong as empowered women.  As the musical “Thoroughly Modern Millie” put it about the watershed change of the time:

There are those

I suppose

Think we’re mad

Heaven knows

The world has gone

To rack and to ruin

What we think is chic, unique and quite adorable

They think is odd and Sodom and Gomorrah-ble

But the fact is

Everything today is thoroughly modern

Check your personality

Everything today makes yesterday slow

Better face reality

It’s not insanity

Says Vanity Fair

In fact, it’s stylish

To raise your skirts and bob your hair

In a rumble seat, the world is so cozy

If the boy is kissable

And that tango dance they wouldn’t allow

Now is quite permissible

Goodbye, good, goody girl

I’m changing and how

So beat the drums ’cause here comes

Thoroughly modern Millie now!

Everything today is thoroughly modern

Bands are getting jazzier

Everything today is starting to go

Cars are getting snazzier

Men say it’s criminal what women’ll do

What they’re forgetting is, this is 1922

Have you seen the way they kiss in the movies

Isn’t it delectable?

Painting lips and pencil-lining your brow

Now is quite respectable

Goodbye, good, goody girl

I’m changing and how

So beat the drums, ’cause here comes

Thoroughly modern Millie now!

Inspired by a 1967 Musical About 1922

I remember singing and dancing to that song at the age of 15 – it was the opening number for my modeling school’s graduation.  I was completely inspired by those lyrics, and I was armed with my Great Lash Mascara, Bonnie Bell Jumbo Lip Smacker in the very grown-up flavor of watermelon, Aqua Net big hair, and brand new platform sandals.  Just like those teenage girls getting their first experience with cosmetics when Bonnie Bell rolled out their skin care line in 1927, I was ready for these new, “all the rage” conveniences.

Equality is Coming…

I stood on street corners with NOW (National Organization for Women), asking people to, “go to bat for girls in sports”.  And, of course, doing everything I could to see the ERA ratified.  After all, I was almost 16; surely by the time I finished my education and joined the workforce, equal rights and equal pay would be a given.  My enthusiastic, “Young Miss” brain was mistaken – the fight continues on.

Give ‘Em an Inch…

The 19th Amendment changed women’s lives in many ways, moving closer to equal rights in many aspects of life in the United States of America.  Ladies were now advocating for education, birth control, sex education, equal wages, job opportunities, and the like.  Another baby of the 1920’s, the original ERA was written in 1921 by fellow activist attorneys and feminists Alice Paul and Crystal Catherine Eastman.  Ms. Paul held three law degrees and had been an instrumental leader of the women’s suffrage movement.  Ms. Eastman, of Erie, PA,  was a socialist, anti-militarist, journalist, and lawyer, educated at Vassar, Columbia, and NYU.

Persistence Pays Off, Sort Of…

The original phrasing read,  “No political, civil, or legal disabilities or inequalities on account of sex or on account of marriage, unless applying equally to both sexes, shall exist within the United States or any territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof.”  The amendment was first introduced in Congress in 1923, and in some form had been resubmitted in every subsequent session for almost fifty years, until it’s passage in 1972.

Still Trying

Virginia was the 38th state to ratify the ERA since it was proposed in 1972.  That ratification pushed the ERA across the threshold, however, the original deadline had run out in March of 1979.  But President Jimmy Carter signed into law an extension passed by Congress, granting additional time for the ERA to be ratified until June 1982.  Prior to this, though, five states had “rescinded” their ratifications, the legality of which still remains unresolved.  Many hurdles still remain in the amendment’s path.  It received bipartisan support with recent ratifications by Illinois in 2018 and Nevada just the year before, but these occurred after the inactivity of four decades.  Whether the amendment protecting the equal rights of women will actually be added to our Constitution remains yet to be seen.

Still Fighting

In the words of the immortal Shirley Chisholm, “You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining.  You make progress by implementing ideas.”  “I want history to remember me…not as the first black woman to have made a bid for the Presidency of the United States, but as a black woman who lived in the 20th century and who dared to be herself.  I want to be remembered as a catalyst for change in America.”  “At present, our country needs women’s idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else.”

“Why shouldn’t I run for president?”

“I have certainly met much more discrimination in terms of being a woman than being black, in the field of politics.”  “I ran for the presidency, despite hopeless odds, to demonstrate the sheer will and refusal to accept the status quo.”  Those of us that watched the Democratic National Convention will recall with pride a video clip of Ms. Chisholm exclaiming, “Why shouldn’t I run for president?”

Progress is Made but Higher Goals Await

Many women now serve as elected officials, holding public office, but none has yet to break the ultimate glass ceiling of our nation.  Hilary Clinton came very close, winning the popular vote against Donald Trump in the 2016 election, but lost by electoral votes.  Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Kamala Harris may just be the break we need to shatter the enormous barrier.  Marginalized minorities – Native Americans, Hispanics, African-Americans, and Asian women – still fall through the cracks.

Somethings Never Change

Outlandish arguments against the women’s suffrage movement are still in effect today, still being used against women’s rights.  For example, many men feared women voters might disrupt harmonious family relations, distracting away from family values and the institution of marriage, with the possible consequence of divorce.  Why women even may go to the extremes of wearing pants, cowboy boots, and neckties.

In Their Own Words

Both the 19th Amendment and the Equal Rights Amendment are succinct and simplistic in their directness:  Amendment XIX: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.”

Equal Rights Amendment:  “Section 1: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. Section 2: The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. Section 3: This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.”

The Vice Squad’s First Member, Almost

We as women voters owe a debt of gratitude to these sash-wearing, determined ladies of yesteryear, and those that followed in their stead.  Geraldine “Gerry” Anne Ferraro, the first woman to be nominated as a vice-presidential candidate by a major political party, quipped, “Vice president-it has such a nice ring to it!”  She faced much opposition, saying, ”The polls indicated that I was feisty, that I was tough, that I had a sense of humor, but they weren’t quite sure if they liked me, and they didn’t know whether or not I was sensitive.  I readily admit I was not an expert on foreign policy, but I was knowledgeable, and I didn’t need a man who was the Vice-President of the United States and my opponent turning around and putting me down.”  Ms. Ferraro, who’s desk drawer was filled with all kinds of prayers, humbly revered her place in history.

Dare to Dream

Author, feminist, and journalist extrordinaire Gloria Steinem reminds us, “Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.  Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”  Vocalist Helen Reddy recorded an anthem for empowered women everywhere:

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an’ pretend

‘Cause I’ve heard it all before

You can bend but never break me

‘Cause it only serves to make me

More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger

Not a novice any longer

‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land

But I’m still an embryo

With a long, long way to go

Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes, I am wise

But it’s wisdom born of pain

Yes, I’ve paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can face anything

I am strong

(Strong)

I am invincible

(Invincible)

I am woman

Take a Stand, Make a Plan…to Vote

For the women who planned and marched, setting the bar high for those of us that followed a century into the future, I will honor your suffrage and legacy.  With a blue vote to elect Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I will take my stand for equality, so that the next chapter in our history may be written with dignity and relevance.  Women will decide this election; let us pave the way for our first female Vice-President of the United States.  Ladies, “this is our moment.  This is our mission.” (Joe Biden)