Death Comes Calling
On a Sunday morning bike ride my friend dropped dead on the roadside from a heart attack. “John” was a 73-year-old retired CPA. “John’s” mom had lived to be 96. “John” was trim and he took no medication and was in what seemed remarkably good health. I had heard him voice his expectation to “make it to a 100,” with true conviction.
Financial Chaos
Despite being a retired CPA, “John” had not taken the time to prepare a trust, or even a will. He thought he had lots of time. His sudden death threw his family into chaos. With “Johns” recent death fresh in my mind, I took particular note of an October 2018 AARP Bulletin article entitled, “Left Alone-And At A Loss” by Leslie Milk. Leslie’s article detailed how as a widow, the loss of her husband was magnified by tough financial questions that they had failed to discuss and prepare for.
A Similar Experience
Leslie’s experience I venture is not that much different from the experience “John’s” widow is now going through. When a spouse or loved one dies we are often in a daze for months; or potentially longer while there will be a variety of items that require near immediate attention.The depression and anxiety following a loved one’s passing may make it hard to find the energy to hunt for bank and investment records, deeds, insurance policies, credit card statements, much less passwords and secret questions to access accounts.
You may have been married to your spouse for decades, but people don’t share everything. If a big purchase is considered I imagine discussion, but for many little things about finances there may be no discussion. Confronting the paperwork and the administrative bureaucracy precipitated by the death of a spouse is often an overwhelming and exhausting process, fraught with unexpected complications.
Password unknown
For instance, did you know if you are just a “user” on your spouse’s credit card account it will be closed upon his or her death? Also be ready for a spike in your insurance rates, as a “single” person you are considered a greater risk. Valuable collections, such as art, coins and guns may be difficult to sell, or have diminished market value because adequate documentation supporting ownership is not available. Email and other online accounts may be inaccessible to you if you do not know the usernames, secret passwords, or the secret questions.
To help reduce both the emotional and financial stress surrounding the death of a spouse AARP recommends we each take the following easy steps.
10 Steps To Protect Your Spouse
1. Gather Financial Papers: Gather items such as deeds, passports, insurance policies, estate documents and recent statements from financial accounts and store them in a fireproof box at home, where beneficiaries can easily find them.
2. Make a “must call” list: Compile contact information for your accountant, lawyer and other financial professionals who need to be contacted when a spouse dies. Also make a list of friends, maybe from childhood years that you want notified of your passing.
3. Share passwords: Keep an updated master list of all usernames and passwords so your spouse can still have account access after your death. Make it a habit to keep a record of any changes you make to passwords or usernames. I use “Keepass”.
4. Update beneficiaries: Make sure beneficiary designations for your pension, 401(k), IRA, brokerage accounts and life insurance proceeds reflect your current wishes.
5. Check credit cards: Make sure your spouse’s name is on the credit card account. In most states when your spouse dies, you won’t be responsible for any debt on a card that’s not in your name. However, you also won’t be able to use the card and will have to reapply for credit in your own name.
6. Set up Advance Medical Directives: Both partners need powers of attorney for health care to designate the person you want to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are incapacitated. You will also need a living will that spells out what measures you want the doctor to take to prolong your life.
7. Designate a money person: Each of you will need a financial power of attorney so you can name a trusted person to make money decisions for you if you are unable to do so.
8. Review wills and trusts: Do this every few years or when there’s a significant change in your life, such as a sizable increase or decrease in your finances. If you don’t have a will, get one. Better yet, spend the extra $1,000 and have a trust drawn up. It will save thousands in probate costs.
9. Discuss funeral plans: This can save thousands of dollars by letting the surviving spouse-who may now have money challenges-know that it is okay to not spend lavishly on the funeral.
10. Know how the bills are paid: Keep a list of accounts with notes about how each is paid so the survivor doesn’t miss a payment or overdraw an account.
I though the AARP suggestions were simple and easy to manage. As I saw with “John’s” sudden death, we do not live forever. Make it easy on a surviving spouse or other family members and prepare for your death. You don’t need to add extra burdens on your surviving family members, so get organized and protect their interests.
