Silly Games
Silly Games
D. S. Mitchell
No, Not Today
It’s another cloudy day in Grants Pass, Oregon. The morning news sounds just like last night’s news. Does this mean we are entering an overly long season of re-runs coming out of the Trump White House? It looks like the Orange One has given me enough time to play a game; maybe more than one. If you’re thinking the woman is sounding a bit crazy, you could be right. I need a break from the freaking asshole taking up space in the people’s house. I’m not in the mood to be serious today. I was going to write an in-depth, thought-provoking, political post on Trump’s “emotional” response to the actions of his buddy, Vladimir Putin., instead, I am going to play a game my mother taught me close to 60 years ago.
Rules Of The Game
Here are the rules of today’s game. I will open a dictionary at some random place and I will, from the two open pages, keeping the words in sequential order, write a story. Today’s story will center on a well-known politician and his daughter. I challenge you to do it. It is harder than it sounds.
So, here we go. The dictionary I will be using is the one I keep on the shelf next to my desk in my alcove office. Everyday America English Dictionary, Edited by Ricard A. Spears, et al. NTC (National Textbook Company) 1987. Pages 130-131.
Daddy Thinks he Knows Best
Donald Trump dropped his fountain pen on the desk, and asked, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
“Some form of fowl that Donald Jr, bagged when he was on safari in Texas,” Ivanka snickered.
“You are a fox,” Big Daddy Trump gushed, leering suggestively.
“Stop it, Daddy.”
“Do you know what fraction of the federal budget is being spent on Jr.’s security detail? Some woman reporter asked me today, and I had no idea. Do you know?”
“Oh, Daddy, don’t worry about such stuff. Just say that information is TOP SECRET, and if that ‘fake news’ lady asks again, you just tell her it’s, classified.”
“Of course, of course. You’re right, sweetie. I have more power in my Truth Social finger than ANYONE else in the world! Especially some ‘fake news’ reporter.”
“We should have that finger insured. What if there’s a fracture? It would be a disaster,” she said, bobbing her head up and down in self confirmation.
“Careful, Daddy, that bowl is very old and very fragile. Michelle Obama called it historic. She said something about Dolly Madison.”
“Historic?” Trump repeated, simultaneously tossing the object skyward and catching it with his left hand.
“Daddy, please, stop juggling it. Stop it.”
Daddy Thinks he Knows Best (continued)
“Damn! I can’t believe it broke so easy. Why isn’t there carpet in here? You’d think, somebody would have figured out that something might get dropped. Bad design. BAD. BAD. BAD.”
“Daddy it’s in a dozen pieces. I’ll pick them up. Oh, oh, it looks like a piece missing. Do you see the last fragment somewhere? Maybe we can get Melania to glue it back together.”
He bent down, picked up a large chunk of the broken glassware, and handed it to Ivanka, “Here you go.”.
“Why is Washington’s picture frame askew?” she asked, as she stood up. Straightening the heirloom carefully.
“To be frank, honey, I don’t think I can get Melania to put this thing back together. She’s mad about me winning the election. Remember, I told her for the first five years I was just trying to increase TV ratings, and that I would never actually run. Then I ran, and won. Then the Democrats stole my 2020 victory, but here I am agai#47.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Ivanka said, hoping to avoid the election fraud rant, again.
“Anyway….she hasn’t given me a second look since election night.”
“That’s too bad, Daddy. Buy, her something. Make it something big,. Maybe, an island.”
“We’ll see,” he said shaking his orange head.
“I need to leave. I promised to pick up a frankfurter for Jared, an hour ago, and I’m still here.”
“What about this broken bowl?
“Call housekeeping and tell the maid you dropped it.”
“But, that’s what happened, sort of.”
“It’s okay to tell the truth,” she smiled.
“I’ll think of something,” Trump fretted, rubbing his chin.
“Before you go, I’ve got a question, did you see that damn, Jake Tapper, on CNN, when he called my tweet accusing Biden of wire-tapping Trump Tower, a, ‘fraud and a lie?’
Ivanka, examined a freckle on her hand, before answering. “Free speech, Daddy. A lot of people died to secure that freedom. Remember the freeze. When George Washington had to cross that big half-frozen river, and some of the guys fell in, and died.”
“It’s become a frequent problem around here too,” he groaned.
“What? ”
“Free speech. I may have to dump some troublemakers in the Potomac, myself,” he growled.
“No, Daddy. General Washington did not throw any of his troops in the Potomac River.”
“Don’t be fresh, young lady. If I say George Washington threw the lying stooges of the ‘deep state’, those saboteurs, those traitors, into the Potomac, that’s what the Hell he did. Got it?”
“Yes, Daddy,” she answered rolling her eyes toward the ceiling.
“I can’t help, but fret, Daddy. There is so much friction in the country. If the wrong person, not a friend, overheard you say, that the “Father” of our country killed his own troops, the Dems would be less than friendly.”
Ivanka pulled out a compact from her purse, and reviewed her reflection in the mirror, “My hair’s a fright. The paparazzi, are like birds of prey, hanging from tree limbs trying to catch me with a hair out-of-place.”
The President took his daughter’s hand, and scuffed his toe against the floor, “Honey, bunny, I’m frightened.”
“I know, Daddy, it’s frightening. Just hang on. Jared and the boys thinks that you will be impeached before the end of the summer. Then this whole nightmare will be over. I’m just wondering how much money we can generate out of this little gig, before your impeachment trial. The crypto offering is going like gang-busters.”
“Yeah. I’ve heard a pretty loud rumble from the leftist fringe, they are sounding pretty frisky,” the President acknowledged, before continuing, “That Qatari gift of a new Air Force One has their hair on fire.”
“Why is my hair so frizzy?” Ivanka moaned fixated on her reflection in the mirror.
She heard her father’s voice droll on,
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to early retirement. Do you know what kind of severance package they’ve offered? he mumbled, before continuing with, “Did they say it was a life time salary and 24 hour security?”
Conclusion
“I’ll follow-up on those questions, for you,” Ivanka bit her lip, as she put the compact back into her purse, and stared stupidly at her father.
He returned her look with an obvious pout, “I just don’t understand why everyone is so pissed off. Marching in the streets and screaming all night long. What the Hell? Everybody knew I grabbed women by their pants. Or, whatever it was, I said.”
“Daddy, stop it. People are not mad because you grab women by their private parts.
“They’re not?”
“Hell, no. Everybody is mad because you told them that you were a Prince, and now they have found out you are a frog. You are not even a heroic Ninja Turtle. You are, a frog!”
“We need a distraction. Any ideas? I don’t want to do another wiretapping tweet. What if I tell everyone that Hunter Biden is running a child porn ring out of a Washington, D.C. pizza joint?
“I’m pretty sure someone used that story against Hillary,” Ivanka said slowly.
“I got it! This is really good. Where’s my phone?”
“Check your pockets.”
“So, what is your tweet about?”
“I’m going to tell my minions that I am purging the ‘deep state’ saboteurs. Just like Washington and Lincoln, before me.”
“That could be risky,” Ivanka said, patting his hand, “you probably should limit the alternative facts, for a while at least.”
“I’m safe. They got a committee investigating the Qatar gift, a committee investigating TV and microwave spying devices, a committee investigating Elon Musk, a committee investigating Crypto currency, a committee investigating money laundering, a committee investigating my use of an unauthorized email server, then there’s the committee investigating the charge that pardons are for sale. They’re in over their heads,” he said with a prolonged, belly laugh.
“You know best, Daddy. Remember, now; there is no insurance on your Truth Social finger, so take it easy. Okay?” she said over her shoulder as she left the Oval Office.
The End
Thanks for indulging me. That was fun. I got a laugh. Hope you did too. Try it yourself. Just open the dictionary to any page, and go for it. You must keep the words in the same order as in the dictionary. No cheating.
