Month: April 2026

Holy Shit

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Holy Shit

 

Holy Shit

 

“The cartoon at the top of the page pretty much sums up how Trump approaches dynamite or any other explosive situation; with total stupidity,”  Editor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bean There, NOT Done That. . .

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Bean There, NOT Done That…

 

 

Bean There, NOT Done That…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

I recently researched unusual jelly bean flavors. Strange activity you say?  Normally, I would agree, but I was looking for a new flavor for my candy dish. You would be amazed how many disgusting varieties of jelly beans have apparently been created or at least proposed.  Some bodily function flavors are simply too revolting to even mention, but here is a list of the ones I won’t be putting in my candy dish, and should certainly cause a normal person to widen their eyes. I’ve pretty much decided I’m sending a 100#’s of number 12 to the White House. Marketers call them failed flavors – in my estimation that should apply to the recipients as well…

  1. Jalapeño flavor – why? Because just like garlic and cinnamon you can never have too much jalapeno.
  2. Moldy cheese flavor – I’m allergic to mold- so I’d need my Epi Pen for this adventure.
  3. Fried chicken flavor – I think the mind of whoever came up with this idea is fried, or should be.
  4. Canned dog flavor?- even my pug turned her nose up at this one.
  5. Essence of Bacon – not everything is better with bacon.
  6. Taco flavor – I love a good taco but not in my candy dish.
  7. Febreeze flavor – this is for stinky tennis shoes and wet dog odor on the sofa, not for the candy!
  8. Sausage flavor – um, no, just no.
  9. Gin flavor – Nope. Strawberry Daiquiri has my support…
  10. Sex lube teaser. Nope. But I’m curious; do they make actual sex lube in strawberry daiquiri flavor? Sorry, I’m only kidding.
  11. Fish sticks flavor-again, NO. And, NO, NO, NO.
  12. Gasoline flavor-I forecast some gastric disturbance in the car at a high cost. I’m sending 100#’s to the WH.
  13. Gravy flavor-does it come in a package with turkey and stuffing flavors?
  14. The flavor of old books -Huh? What?
  15. Toothpaste flavor-it seems counterintuitive that a sugary snack would taste like toothpaste. Perhaps wintergreen or peppermint might be better here.
  16. Boba Milk Tea flavor-The Taiwanese might make this one work.
  17. Curdled milk flavor-EWWWW.
  18. Okay, we are really gettin weird with this one; ready for it?  Skunk spray flavor-it’s a black jelly bean, but where is the white stripe down the center?
  19. Lawn clippings-a pretty lime green jelly bean. Here’s an idea, how about a fresh lime flavor?
  20. Rotten egg flavor-what the hell?
  21. Centipede flavor – how does anyone know what a centipede tastes like? Or, ever wants to find out!
  22. Bubble gum flavor – but can you swallow it? Why not chew a piece of bubble gum instead?
  23. Anchovy flavor – bet that’s really salty; NOT what I want in a jelly bean, yuck.
  24. Pizza flavor – guess it goes with anchovy flavor; just order a damn pizza; I suggest.
  25.  Habanero flavor (“Ass Kickin’” brand, not Jelly Belly) – not sure if my brother who loves spicy food would enjoy these, but bet they kick more than your derriere…

Instead of jelly beans in the candy dish this go around I decided on Andes Creme de Menthe candies; with those pretty shiny green foil wrappers.

 

26 Things to Make You Smile

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26 Things to Make You Smile

26 Things to Make You Smile

By D.S. Mitchell

I am back at the computer after taking a week off . Before I started this blog, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough to scream about, but I’m finding that I could probably do a dozen posts a day related to the insanity of Donald Trump. Like Megyn Kelly said recently, “send grandpa back to the nursing home.” But I thought, before I start my rant on the collapse of the progressive agenda and possibly our democracy, I wanted to deliver at least two or three posts that are positive and uplifting.

So, here are twenty-six things that make me smile and hopefully you, too:

1.) Touching toes in the sand
2.) Sunsets over shimmering water
3.) Wraparound sunglasses
4.) The Science channel
5.) Kite flying contests
6.) The Muppets
7.) Astronauts

8.) Blowing the wrapper off the straw
9.) Winning at Scrabble
10.) A dog’s cold nose on your hand
11.) Barhopping
12.)  Old jeans that fit just right
13.) A lover’s voice
14.) The clatter of skis being loaded
15.) The rumble of a train as it passes
16.) Walking in the rain
17.) The imagination of a six year old
18.) Margaritas at midnight

19.) Finishing the Sunday crossword without cheating
20.) Volunteering for a special cause
21.) The smell of a new car
22.) Roller skating, with helmet and knee pads, of course
23.) My first grade teacher, Miss Gill
24.) A good book
25.) Daddy’s wisdom

26.) The firing of AG Pam Bondi

I know this small Friday distraction did little to take your mind off the continuing chaos at the Trump White House, the Iran War, the price of gas and groceries, even attacks against the first American born pope; but hopefully it gave you a couple minutes respite; and that’s a good thing. Have a gem of a day.

No Kings. Stand up to the billionaires.

Women of a Certain Age

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Women of a Certain Age:

Fashionista Edition

 

Women of a Certain Age:

Fashionista Edition

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If Chanel Number 5 is your go to fragrance, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If Channel number 19 is your other go to fragrance, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  3. If you are aware Youth Dew started out as a bath oil, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  4. If you call Youth Dew perfume a bottle of Estee Lauder, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  5. If you remove one piece of jewelry before going out the door, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  6. If you ever shopped at Peck and Peck’s, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  7. If you own a Bergdorf Goodman sweater or dress, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  8. If you own short white gloves not in a winter fabric, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  9. If you own long gloves, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  10. If you splash on Jean Nate, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  11. If you use Vaseline around your eyes before going to bed, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  12. If you remember Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers and Ten-O-Six lotion, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  13. If your ever wore stirrup pants, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  14. If you ever wore shoulder pads, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  15. If you ever wore a body suit with snaps down there, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  16. If you own a slip or “girdle”, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  17. If you are glad to see skinny jeans go out of style, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  18. If you ever wore double belts, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  19. If you own a muff (get your mind out of the gutter, please), you might be a woman of a certain age.
  20. If you regret owning a real fur (I do; make a donation to an animal welfare cause and donate the fur item to a theater or museum), you might be a woman of a certain age.
  21. If you own clip earrings, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  22. If you own velcro curlers, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  23. If you ironed your “Long and Silky” hair with a clothes iron, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  24. If you had “Short and Sassy” hair, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  25. If you used Lustre-Crème Shampoo, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  26. If you match your hemline to your shoes, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  27. If you use a point system for jewelry and accessories, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  28. If you ever wore go-go boots, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  29. If you every wore bell bottoms that would make a sailor proud, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  30. If you wear pearls everyday, you might also be a fan of VP Kamala Harris and yearn for her to be president…