Category: Arts & Entertainment

HUMOR: Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show

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HUMOR: Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show

HUMOR: DOC TRUMP’S TRAVELING MEDICINE SHOW

By I.B. Freely

Panacea

COVID-19 got you down? Worried about the long-term effects of the most toxic and contagious viral infection since Spanish Flu? Fear not citizen! Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show has the cure for the most common ill of our age. And he should know, they don’t come much more common than frat-boy-in-chief.

A Spoonful of Toxin

Far beyond mere ‘science,’ this galaxy-brained very stable genius can know if a  treatment will work just by ‘feeling it.’ The pandemic will soon be a thing of the past. Even if Doc Trump has to poison half the population to reach this seemingly lofty goal, which is really no more than his god-like job’s worth. Besides which, as any Dread Pirate worth their cocaine powder knows, a little bit of poison helps build up immunity.

No, Really, Go Drink Bleach

Crowning the tippy, tippy top off Doc Trump’s list of brilliant, perfect, foolproof cures is humble bleach. It obviously kills bacteria, so it must utterly obliterate viruses, right? Viruses and bacteria are exactly the same thing, after all. Don’t let the biased infectious disease “experts” fool you. The skull and crossbones warnings jugs are really more of a guideline, than a hard and fast “truth.” It has even been promoted by a baptist preacher, a group known to have never lied or even exaggerated about anything at any point in the 6,000 year history of the earth, who was kind enough to give a demonstration on how to inject bleach up one’s nose.

Some Light On the Matter

Imbibing cleaning products not your thing? The quacks are all agreed that the use of ultraviolet light is an effective treatment for COVID-19. The only real stumbling block is that said light would have to to be used on the molecular level. The president said it on TV so it must be true. Never mind that he has been caught in upwards of 20,000 lies in the last four years. Criticizing a president for dishonesty is like chastising an assassin for a lack of empathy.

Science, I Guess

For the superstitious types who will insist on having some ‘scientific evidence’ behind their miracles, Doc Trump has you covered as well. Whole heartedly supporting a wonder drug known as Hydroxycloroquine. A real actual, malarial drug, the name of which only sounds like a fatally toxic aquarium cleaner. So read the labels carefully, as the drug in its proper form poses absolutely not health repercussions or draw-backs whatsoever. Aside from the occasional fatal massive heart-attack. Then again, the higher the death rate from heart-attack and accidental poisoning the lower the COVID infection rate will be. A result  sure to landslide the smartest man in the world right back into the Oval Office. Not that has anything to do with the price of coke in Columbia.

All Natural$

Natural remedies are also very important when it comes to battling COVID-19. Doc Trump’s Traveling Medicine Show is in full support of making the magical plant Oleandrin widely available as a health supplement. As well as pushing the FDA to officially name it a cure for COVID-19. The fact that the plant in question is so toxic that a single leaf can send a rottweiler to join the Choir Invisible is just a technicality. As no doubt stated by MyPillow.com founder Mike Lindell during the White House meeting he was granted. The fact that Lindell was fined $1,000,000 for false health health claims regarding his pillow notwithstanding. Perhaps they could suggest cyanide or night shade next.

 

Documentary: White Night Riots

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Gay In America

Documentary: White Night Riots

*Editor’s Note: When Trevor McNeil’s article “Gay In America” was published last week this documentary was supposed to accompany it. Well, it didn’t. So, here we are. Let’s try it again.

Daniel White murdered San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official in the country. Each victim was shot 5 times. When White was found guilty of manslaughter the crowd awaiting the verdict began to riot.

 

Lionel Richie “Three Times A Lady”

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“You’re once, twice, three times a lady…

Lionel Richie: “Three Times A Lady”

Anna Hessel was jumping up and down when we let her know she had just been tapped to choose the Calamity Politics jukebox song of the day. So in honor of her upcoming article on Kamala Harris Anna chose “Three Times A Lady” by Lionel Richie. Enjoy!

HUMOR: He Who Laughs Last

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Donald Trump brings little intentional humor, but a whole lot of unintended laughs and gaffs

HUMOR: He Who Laughs Last

By Trevor K. McNeil

A Mystery Wrapped In An Enigma

There are mysteries that have yet to be revealed to mere mortals. Like, how do they get the caramel in the Cadbury Caramilk bar?  Or, how much wood would, indeed, a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck, could, in fact, chuck wood? Another mystery of gargantuan proportions, is how someone as unabashedly baffoonish and obscenely unqualified as Donald J. Trump, could be elected to the highest office in the land. “Leader of the Free-World” a bit too arrogant and, well, bullshit, to be taken seriously. There are many theories. Some crack cocaine nonsense, while others more reality-based; though the reality may be much stranger than anyone ever suspected.

An Honest Man

If you ask a Trump supporter why they like him, they are likely to say some version of “he’s a great businessman” despite him having gone through bankruptcy six times. Or, perhaps, “he’s an honest man in a den of thieves,” despite Trump agreeing to pay 25 million dollars to plaintiffs for seemingly illegal activities in the Trump University case. Common sense seems to have no effect on the electorate when it comes to Donald Trump. He has become a joke, and the joke seems to be on the United States. But who cares, at least he’s not a politician. The general distrust of “establishment politicians” goes back to the founding of America. Even George Washington, the pillar of Americana, as blasphemous as it may now seem, was often lambasted during his life. The cartoonists of his time, choosing to point their poisoned pens at him as often as at any other mortal man.

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Voltaire “God Thinks”

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Music by Voltaire as they perform "God Thinks"Here we are again,  time for Calamity Politic’s Jukebox Choice of the day. Our man, Trevor K. McNeil suggested, Voltaire’s “God’s Choice.” He thought this song was a perfect partner for his upcoming article on Trump Tyranny. Watch this space, for Trevor’s upcoming Editorial: The Tyranny of Trump. But, right now, get ready, here it comes the funny and satirical, Voltaire’s “God Thinks.” You will see lyrics on the screen as you watch the video. Enjoy!

Sam The Sham And The Pharoahs “Wooly Bully”

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Sam the Sham And The Pharoahs

“Wooly Bully”

By D. S. Mitchell

Watching The Mailbox

My husband and I were married in 1965. My husband and I waited nervously every day expecting to find a draft notice in the mailbox at any time. He was in his junior year in college and did not want to disrupt his education. In those days there was a military draft and young men all over the country were being drafted. My husband and I were mentally preparing ourselves for that day we knew would come, and he would be sent to Vietnam. The United States had “advisors” in the country for at least a decade by that time. The Vietnam War was escalating in SE Asia, and the Cold War was growing hotter by the day.

Deployment

The rhetoric of the politicians described Vietnam as a domino piece and if it fell so would the rest of Asia. LBJ was president and he had been increasing the American presence in SE Asia dramatically. By the end of 1966 we had a young son, and my husband had finished his bachelor’s degree. After many long and tortured conversations he volunteered for the Air Force and deployed to the huge air base at Da Nang, South Vietnam. The year that he went to Vietnam “Wooly Bully” was screaming from every radio in America, and the American soldier took it to South Vietnam.

Protests Increase

There were major protests across the United States by 1968. LBJ sensing the country had turned against his conduct of the war announced he would not seek re-election. Richard Nixon said he had a plan to end the war. As Americans would see that was all a lie. And the anti-war protests grew. Seeing the people fill the streets outside the White House brought back those days vividly. Americans protest when American politics do not meet the needs and desires of the American people. When Trevor K. McNeil suggested “Wooly Bully” as the Calamity Politic’s Jukebox choice of the day, I said, “hell, yeah”. Here it comes, ready or not, Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs, in the long version of “Wooly Bully”.

“Wooly Bully” by novelty rock ‘n’ roll band Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs came out in 1965. “Wooly Bully” was written by the band’s frontman, Domingo “Sam” Samudio.” It’s all about the beat.

Dead Kennedys “Police Truck”

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Dead Kennedys “Police Truck”

Watching the intensification of the police response to the George Floyd protests Trevor K. McNeil said we had to play the Dead Kennedys song, “Police Truck.”  I couldn’t argue with him so, here we go; the Calamity Politic’s Jukebox choice of the day, Dead Kennedys’ “Police Truck.” 

Michael Hedges “Aerial Boundaries”

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beautiful rainbow over acres of flowers

Michael Hedges “Aerial Boundaries”

I got to choose the Jukebox song for today. The song comes from Michael Hedges, a great, and in my opinion, an often under appreciated talent. A man who’s life was far too short. Michael died in a terrible car accident at the age of 43. Michael Hedges played electric acoustic guitar with a very unique style, and composed incredible music. Here is one of my favorites, “Aerial Boundaries.” If you don’t know Michael Hedges, get to know him. Enjoy!  Calamity

Lessons From History

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Lessons From History

By Trevor K. McNeil

The Blink Of An Eye

Appeals to history are a common theme, particularly is modern American politics. Which is quite odd, because post-Columbian America actually has so little history. 1776 might sound like a long time ago, but there are nations in the world, where 240 years is a mere hiccup in time. China has a written history that goes back over 3,000 years. The Scots and the Germans were having border conflicts 2,000 years ago with the Roman Empire.

Historical Revisionism

Trump’s pronoucements that America is having the greatest whatever “in the history of the world” is dubious at best, and laughable at worst. France literally has toilets that are older than post-contact America. References to America’s long and glorious past, only one of these arguably being the case, is a sterling example of historical revisionism in the service of nationalist propaganda.

Sweet Land of Liberty

America’s founding was all about liberty. A term that can, and has changed radically with time and context. From a historical perspective liberty referred specifically and exclusively to the nationalist movements of the time. The term “nationalist” itself referring to someone who supported a geographical region becoming an independent nation. Exemplified today by the Scottish National Party and Bloc Québécois. George Washington, went from rebel to president. *He was the last American leader to represent such “nationalism.” It was this context in which Patrick Henry uttered the immortal “give me liberty or give me death.” Later echoed by Mel Gibson paraphrasing 13th century Scottish separatist Sir William Wallace in Braveheart. Showing just how far back such sentiments really go.

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