“I’ve finished my 3 book Spider Series. If you’re into hot sex and heart pounding adventure please check it out. Available on Amazon. Thank you for your interest and support. D. S. Mitchell aka “Calamity” at Calamity News and Politics.
“There is nothing more inspiring than taking action against injustice.” D.S. Mitchell 2025
“If stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out of it.” Will Rogers
“If you can’t be a poet, be a poem.” David Carradine
“No god would want a child killed in his name.” D.S. Mitchell 2023
“Without music, life would be a mistake.” Friedrich Nietzsche
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” ― George Burns
“A politician thinks of the next election – a statesman of the next generation.” – James Freeman Clarke
“I want to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.” Arthur Ashe
“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty.” ― Albert Einstein
“So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
“Let’s just remember that social security is not the government’s money, it belongs to the people who had it taken out of the checks involuntarily their entire working lives.” Mike Huckabee
“I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.” ADELE
“The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” Christian Grey
“My favorite old car had no reverse gear. It taught me I could only go forward.” Flavia
“Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela
“Those who think they can control the mob are fools and are often the victims of their own incitement.” D.S. Mitchell 2021
“A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
“If now isn’t a good time for the truth I don’t see when we’ll get to it.” Nikki Giovanni
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.” Your mother
“Studying American politics has taught me several disgusting lessons, the first being, money buys friends in Congress. That alone should terrify the American public.” D. S. Mitchell 2021
“My art is my heart.” D. S. Mitchell 2015
“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.” Arthur Rubenstein
“Every lie is like stepping in a quicksand pit. Every lie as dangerous, as telling the truth.” D. S. Mitchell 2020
“Sometimes when challenged we find out we are capable of the unthinkable.” D. S. Mitchell 2022
“Surround yourself with those on the same mission as you.” Anonymous
“Dimming the lights will not hide the social injustice in America.” D. S. Mitchell 2017
“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. So I elect for neither label.” – James Branch Cabell
Smile
"If puppies and kittens don't make you smile, you might consider therapy." D. S. Mitchell 2015.
“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill
“Every moment is a fresh beginning.” T. S. Eliot
“Voting is like a prayer.” Raphael Warnock 2021
“We are all valuable. The problem is not everyone is smart enough to realize it.” D. S. Mitchell 2021
“I wonder, if you were blind, lost and confused, would you care what color the offered hand?” D. S. Mitchell 2015
“Silence in front of savagery is savagery itself.” Abhijit Naskar
“To be happy and contented, count your blessings, not your cash.” Chinese Proverb
“We can never be too busy to be kind.” D. S. Mitchell 2017
RIP RBG
“The rain falls because the cloud can no longer handle the weight. The tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.” The Wise You
“Let my old days be my best days,” Cousin Lucille
“In no instance have… the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people.” James Madison
“Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.” Charles Dickens
“Thoughtful people are slow to anger, not necessarily less efficient in their killing.” D. S. Mitchell 2019
“Endings are not always bad. Most times they’re just beginnings in disguise.” Kim Harrison
“The United States like so many countries around the world has chosen to give to the few and deny the many.” D.S. Mitchell 2020
“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. This is true, its called life.” Terry Pratchett
“Trickle down economics is like having three dogs and giving one of them a hot dog, and thinking he’ll share.” Bill Maher
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” John Kenneth Galbraith
“When people start acting as though the past is the same as the present and context doesn’t matter, things start to get dangerous.” Trevor K. McNeil 2020
“Pardoning the Bad, is injuring the Good.” – Benjamin Franklin
“I don’t need to attend every argument I’m invited to.” Unknown
“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret between the shadow and soul.” Pablo Neruda
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” ― Bruce Lee
“I have been far oftener discriminated against because I am a woman than because I am black.” Shirley Chisholm 5/21/1969
“The turning points of lives are not the great moments. The real crises are often concealed in occurrences so trivial in appearance that they pass unobserved.” ― George Washington
“We only fail when we fail to try.” Rosa Parks
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” Thomas Jefferson
“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” Albert Einstein
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
“The 7 Social Sins are: Wealth without Work; Pleasure without Conscience; Knowledge without Character; Commerce without Morality; Science without Humanity; Worship without Sacrifice; Politics without Principle.” Frederick Lewis Donaldson
“All evils are equal when they are extreme.”-Pierre Corneille
“Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” John F. Kennedy
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” Isaac Asimov
“People without vaginas shouldn’t be able to regulate them.” Unknown
“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.” Edward Langley, artist
“Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln
“When sleeping women wake, mountains move.” Chinese proverb
“If people stopped searching for things that offended them and started looking for things that inspired them; what a wonderful world this would be.” Night Owl
A Poem For Don and Vlad
“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” Booker T. Washington
“To argue with a person who has given up reason is like administering medicine to the dead.” Thomas Paine
“Imagination is the bridge between the things we know for sure, and the things we need to believe, when our world becomes unbearable.” Staceyann Chin
“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
“Inspiration descends only in flashes to clothe circumstances; it is not stored up in a barrel, like salt herrings to be doled out.”Patrick White
“I will not allow my life’s light to be determined by the darkness that surrounds me.” Sojourner Truth
“Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.” Doug Larson
“Law without humanity is injustice.” D. S. Mitchell 2020
“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear, is the beginning of wisdom.” Bertrand Russell
“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” Plato
valuable article
Category: Quotes
SAVAGERY
“Silence in front of savagery is savagery itself.”
Abhijit Naskar
Quote: Franklin D. Roosevelt
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
OPINION: “All Evil is Done in the Name of Good”
OPINION:
“All Evil is Done in the Name of Good”
Editor: First, I’d like to welcome a new writer to the Calamity fold. Welcome, Vajra Ma. I thought this might be a good time to remind readers if you have something to say about life, politics, healthcare, UFO’s, conspiracy theories, or anything else for that matter, just send it to my direct email: ditchawk@aol.com and I swear I will at least read it. Please print SUBMISSION in capital letters on the reference line. If you want to get paid the standard $20, you must have a PayPal account for Calamity to pay you. Additionally, I am the editor. I edit and reserve that right with all submissions Once a submission reaches my in box I decide on changes when and where I think they ARE needed. Thanks, happy submitting.
OPINION:
“All Evil is Done in the Name of Good”
By Vajra Ma
The question: – What is your reaction to writer, teacher, New Thought pioneer, Emma Curtis Hopkins’ statement that “all evil is done in the name of good,” and compare this to Ernest Holmes’ observation that, “We shall have to learn that evil is neither person, place, or thing of itself, but is an experience which we are allowed to have – because of our divine individuality.”
It’s Good
It is good that the United States has a president who will make America great again.
It is good that the current US president has revived the slogan “America First” otherwise this inspiring slogan of the 1940s movement, headed by Minnesota Senator Ernest Lundeen, to support Hitler in WWII might have fallen into the depths of obscurity.
It is good that the U.S. has a president who repeatedly tells us he will make America great again, and by the way, don’t ever forget, “he is the only one who can fix it.”
The Hand of God?
It is good to have a man of great leadership and character in the White House. MAGA followers believe God chose him, a man:
Who has been convicted of rape.
Who has been accused of sexual assault by two dozen women.
Who brags about grabbing women by the pussy.
Who had sex with a porn star while his wife was home with their new baby.
Surely, it will be such a man that can make America great again.
Big Lie Histrionics
It is good this man declares the 2020 election was stolen, even though:
…he lost 60 court cases trying to prove it.
…he was convicted of 34 felony counts of his election fraud (euphemistically called the ‘hush money’ case).
…Fox News paid the slandered Dominion Voting Machines $787.5 million in settlement for defamation AND acknowledgement that FOX had knowingly broadcast false statements about Dominion. (In other words Fox News lied and the election was not stolen.)
…in the Jan 6 Congressional Hearings our strong man’s campaign manager and White House lawyer (and several other Republican supporters) testified that the election was not rigged and that they told Trump so and he was even caught on tape admitting he knew he had lost; but it is good that the Big Lie continues.
Stolen Elections
It is good to say the election was stolen because he is making America great again.
“…in the Big Lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods.
“It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying.”
— Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, vol. I, ch. X.
Noble Tweets
“He who saves his country violates no law.” This is another noble truth and it is good the U.S. president recently tweeted it. Otherwise this guiding principle might have disappeared into obscurity after self-proclaimed neo-Nazi Anders Breivik used it to justify his 2011 slaughter of 69 youth in Norway and injury of 41 more. Breivik himself revived this truth from obscurity after studying Hitler and Napoleon.
It is good to pardon those who responded to the 2020 stolen election by storming the Capitol on Jan 6th
-wherein 174 Capitol police officers were injured wherein four officers who responded to the attack died by suicide within seven months.
-wherein damage caused by attackers exceeded $2.7 million.
-wherein the mob built a gallows and chanted “Hang Mike Pence.”
-wherein they shat on the carpets and smeared in on the walls.
-wherein the “MAGA shaman” wearing red, white and blue face paint and animal horns prayed to God and Jesus in the Congressional chamber after the members of Congress fled for safety.
Strong Man Heroes
It is good the strong man tweeted that day:
“These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously & viciously stripped away from great patriots who have been badly & unfairly treated for so long”. Then, “Go home with love & in peace. Remember this day forever!” [emphasis added]
Pardoning all those who were tried, convicted and imprisoned for these crimes is good because it makes America great again.
It is good to have a president who admires and openly praises dictators: Orban, Putin, and Duterte. And exchanges “love letters” with brutal North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un; but its all good.
Tracking Lies and Falsehoods
It is good that during his first term the strong man spoke 30,000 lies or misleading statements (fact-checked and published by the Washington Post) because he is making America great again.
It is good Trump recently kicked the Associated Press out of the WH pressroom because they refused to call the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. This removal of AP puts America First and helps make America great again.
It is good the president of the U.S. votes at the U.N. in alignment with Russia, China, and Iran and against Europe and Ukraine. It makes America great again.
It is good to say Ukraine started the war. It makes America great again.
It is good to make Canada into the Fifty-first State of the United States. It makes America great again.
It is good that Greenland should belong to the United States, “We strongly support your right to determine your own future. And if you choose, we welcome you into the United States of America. We need Greenland for national security and even international security…And I think we’re gonna get it—one way or the other, we’re gonna get it. [emphases added] Congressional Address March 4, 2025
It’s Good to Have Trump as President
It is good that anyone reading this consider it fake news because even though these items are a matter of record, it is good to have this president.
Why?
Because it’s America First!
The election was stolen!
He is making American great again!
Back to Divine Individuality
In alignment with Ernest Holmes, American citizens are free to elect such an experience because of our “divine individuality.” Free will, as he says, is either our bondage or our freedom, depending upon what we choose to believe. Holmes also said, “Humanity has suffered enough.” Have we?
The time is coming when we (humanity) will collectively realize we have suffered enough and evil will disappear into the bloated nothingness it is. Meanwhile—as inherent and necessary part of that disappearing process—I call out the lies.
And so it is.
He Still Speaks to Us
He Still Speaks to Us
MLK, Still Speaks to Us
By Wes Hessel & Cate-Rees Hessel
A True Leader
Monday, January 20th, we honor a great, charismatic leader who led a huge multitude of committed followers – and no, we are not talking about Donald Trump. The real man celebrated today is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the most visible champion of the civil rights movement. The men who were referred to as the “Big Six” were also key in the work: James Farmer, A. Philip Randolph, Roy Wilkins, Whitney Young, and John Lewis. But Dr. King, or MLK, as he is often referred to, was the center of the fight for freedom for all. We hear the echoes of truth in his quotable phrases and speeches.
The Bible He Actually Read – And Lived…
The basis of what Dr. King strove for is rooted in the Scriptures he preached from – the Bible. That foundation is apparent throughout his words of wisdom, but particularly in these:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”
“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”
And one paraphrased from his namesake, reformist Martin Luther:
“Live like Jesus died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back tomorrow.”
“And I say to you today my friends, let freedom ring.”
Muster The Mustard Seed
MLK pointed out everything should proceed from faith:
“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
“I have decided to stick with love…hate is too great a burden to bear.”
“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”
“We must learn to live together as brothers…or perish together as fools.”
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: ‘What are you doing for others?’”
“Nonviolence is absolute commitment to the way of love. Love is not emotional bash; it is not empty sentimentalism. It is the active outpouring of one’s whole being into the being of another.”
Trump’s Torturous Tribulations
Trump’s Torturous Tribulations
Trump’s Torturous Tribulations
By Cate Rees-Hessel w/ D.S.Mitchell
Disaster Impending
As we draw closer to the dreaded day of January 20th, Donald Trump’s second inauguration, something I thought I would never hear or say, allow me to point out more insane things he has done prior to his taking office again this month. We absolutely must resist this devastating excuse for a president…
Cold Day in Hell?
But it should be noted first, even his inauguration itself demonstrates his all-consuming self-interest: the ceremony has been moved indoors because the temperature is predicted to be in the low twenties. At least two prior Presidents in the last 60 years or so were inaugurated outside in similar cold, and the last time an inauguration was moved indoors, the temp at noon was 7 above zero. Even more telling is the official statement that the most of the quarter-million tickets sold for the event when it was set for outside won’t be honored for indoor seats, but are now “commemorative”. In other words, worthless – but wait a minute, they were already. All the more reason we absolutely must continue to resist this coming travesty.
Calamity’s Favorite Quotes
Calamity’s Favorite Quotes:
Calamity’s Favorite Quotes:
“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”
Unknown
No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?
No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?
No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?
By D. S. Mitchell
Closet Worrier
I never considered myself a worrier; however I have probably always been a closet worrier. I was the one that would call twice to confirm a reservation and of course I made sure that we always took two of everything (just in case). Now that I’m an elder, and retired, I have found an abundant amount of time to worry and an endless supply of issues to worry about. I have thrown off my shackles and emerged into the light as an admitted worrier.
Growing Louder
What used to be occasional whispers in my busy working mind have grown louder now that I am free of the time clock. I worry about the mutating COVID virus, and do I need another booster? I worry that I forgot to rotate my tires at 5,000 miles. When did I last check the air pressure, I fret. Did I remember to send my forever best friend from high school a card on her birthday? Then there’s climate change, and the rising ocean levels, Russian aggression in the Ukraine, the rape and murder of Israelis on 10/7, the death of 33,000 Palestinian civilians in Gaza. And we can’t forget the threat of nukes in space, the Chinese on Mars, the speeding up of the Jet Streams, an alien invasion, an AI takeover, nuclear war, and the possibility of an asteroid impact. And what about all those conspiracy theories; are they all wrong; or just partly wrong? Will we ever find Jimmy Hoffa’s bones?
Did You Hear?
Did you see that there was a massive die off of honeybees in the United States in 2023, killing over 51% of the honeybee hives. Furthermore, in case you missed it on the news, the biggest iceberg in history is now floating somewhere in the open ocean south of Australia. I have at my disposal an endless spool of worry; replaying events over-and-over in my head; each exchanging their places in turn, as I worry about each new threat.
I Love Joe
I have recently begun transferring all of these concerns to an off planet storage facility-I think its called the cloud. I want to have plenty of space in my head for election year worries. Don’t misunderstand; there isn’t a single day that goes by that Joe Biden doesn’t prove he’s a better man than Donald Trump ever thought of being. Not one day of Donald Trump’s life, has he ever thought of anyone but himself. As General John Kelly confirmed, Trump “is the most flawed person (I’ve) ever met.” Unfortunately, for the United States, Trump is once again being allowed to run for president; and with the Electoral College system he could easily win.
Not Long Ago
There was a time in the recent past when a candidate for the highest office in our land was not a criminal, a grifter, or wanna-be tyrant; that was of course before Donald Trump came on the scene. Since Trump’s emergence as a right wing demagogue he has been setting law breaking records; amazing even those who know him best. I realize there are many in the electorate who may have forgotten the list of outrages this one man crime wave has committed. For those amnesic individuals I offer Seth Meyers.
Early to Bed, Ready to Worry
I go to bed early, so, sadly, I miss all the late night comedy shows. But, this is 21st century America and I have YouTube. A recent Seth Meyer’s monologue turned up the heat on my worr-ia-tor. Listen folks, a quick review of the recent past is reason enough to worry about what criminal tactics Trump will use to guarantee his winning the 2024 election. That’s right, folks, I truly believe Trump and his crime associates will try to once again overthrow an election. That would be two in a row. The loss of public morality is shocking and should be a worry for all of us who haven’t been drinking the Kool-Aid or who aren’t looking for a Mango Mussolini to worship.
Seth Meyers Made a List
After coming out on top as the presumptive Republican nominee for president Trump was eviscerated by Late Night host, Seth Meyers. In a near two minute opening monologue, Meyers reeled off a list of outrageous things Donald Trump has done, or has been accused of doing. Here in Seth’s own words: “Presumptive GOP nominee for president, again, for a third time, despite the fact he is a twice-impeached, four-time criminally indicted and racist who’s been found liable for fraud and sexual abuse. Banned from doing business in the state of New York for three years. Owes over half a billion dollars in fines and judgments. Took millions from foreign governments while he was president. Tried to extort a foreign country to interfere in the 2016 election and encouraged another to help him win in 2020.”
No Stopping Him
Meyers, however, did not stop there. Trump “actively undermined our nation’s response to a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic and let a deadly disease spiral out of control. (He) is about to go on trial for breaking campaign finance laws by paying hush money to cover up an affair during the 2016 campaign. He orchestrated a months-long coup attempt that culminated in a violent insurrection to disrupt the peaceful transfer of power and install him as an unelected dictator. (Trump) stole classified documents and obstructed attempts to get them back. (The man) has never won the popular vote and has been routinely rejected by a majority of Americans in election after election.”
There’s More?
At this point you may think Meyers had covered it all, but that’s when he reminds us of many other bizarre Trump moments. Meyers called Trump “the single weirdest, most off-putting human being on the face of the f****** planet. Trump spews deranged conspiracy theories about everything from climate change to immigration, from vaccines to windmills. Stumbles on three syllable words, two-syllable words and one-syllable words, cheats at golf, calls our dead soldiers suckers and losers, forgets who he’s running against.” At this point, Seth brings up a screen in the studio displaying examples of Trump’s spelling errors. “(He) can’t spell his own name, his wife’s name (or even remember it), the words “indicted,” “education,” “unprecedented,” stolen,” “Denmark,” “Kentucky” or “tap,” all spelled wrong, and many more.
Gamer Vocabulary
Myer’s summed up Trump in the following manner, “I’m sorry, but this guy is not a real person, he’s a glitching, (stumbling) NPC from a video game,” Meyers declared. **For the non-gamers out there; Seth’s reference to “NPC” (“Non-Player Character”) is used by him as a metaphor to describe someone he perceives as lacking independent thought.
Its Disgusting and Shocking
I worry that any group of people that would support a criminal and insurrectionist as their presidential candidate are likely to break any and all laws to get him back into the White House. Perhaps even “terminate the Constitution.” Bad actors, like Iran, Russia, China, and North Korea are lining up to run misinformation campaigns against Biden and the Dems. Sounds like criminals and thugs sticking together. The fact that the Republican Party is willing to hand over power to a man of such obvious low character as Donald Trump is both outrageous, and demoralizing. Make no mistake the GOP will be running a ‘dictator for life’ candidate not a presidential candidate.
****
If you want to see the original Seth Meyers rant go to YouTube and put in Trump crimes-Seth Meyers on the search bar and you can watch Seth eviscerate Trump in a two minute rant. Everything he says is alarming and we should all be worried as hell.
Committing Atrocities
“Anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire
Liar in Chief
Animal Witticisms
Animal Witticisms
Animal Witticisms
Editor: Alexis de Tocqueville came to America from France in 1831. He was a young, wealthy, aristocrat, budding writer, social observer, and philosopher. He went on to author one of the most definitive studies of America and her people ever written, “Democracy in America.” While touring the young country, he noted numerous uniquely American traits; two carry-overs from those long ago times were, the “intent self-interest” of the average American, and secondly, that Americans are “not a happy lot.” Well, that reassures me; nothing much has changed in the last nearly 200 years. Americans do however, have witty road signs to change that scowl to a smile. Here we go:
By D.S. Mitchell
Silly Road Signs
- Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital: I used a spot remover on my dog . . . . He disappeared.
- Highland Road Animal Hospital: My alarm doesn’t have a snooze button . . . . It has paws.
- Grants Pass Vet Clinic: Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat . . . . Major faux paw.
- Washoe County Veterinary Services: Against animal testing. They get nervous and mark all the answers wrong!
- Portland Veterinary Clinic: Q: What animal has more lives than a cat? A: Frogs, they croak every night!
- St. Joe’s Veterinary Hospital: Free belly rubs with each exam . . . . Sorry, pets only!
- Carroll County Veterinary Clinic: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to see it . . . you can bet a chihuahua 500 miles away will bark at it.
- Seaside Animal Clinic: Our dog swallowed a bag of scrabble tiles . . . . the vet is checking him out, no word yet!
- Sandy Animal Clinic: Why was the cat sitting on the computer? . . . . To keep an eye on the mouse!
- Warrenton Veterinary Hospital: For a man to truly understand rejection . . . . he must first own a cat.
- Astoria Paw and Claws: Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? . . . .Too many cheetahs.
Well folks, enough of that shit. Have a great day. Be glad you’re an American. We may have our problems, but we’ve got the veterinarians to keep us smiling.
