Animal Witticisms

Animal Witticisms

Some of the funnies road signs can be found at veterinary offices.

Animal Witticisms

Editor: Alexis de Tocqueville came to America from France in 1831. He was a young, wealthy, aristocrat, budding writer, social observer, and philosopher. He went on to author one of the most definitive studies of America and her people ever written, “Democracy in America.” While touring the young country, he noted numerous uniquely American traits; two carry-overs from those long ago times were, the “intent self-interest” of the average American, and secondly, that Americans are “not a happy lot.” Well, that reassures me; nothing much has changed in the last nearly 200 years. Americans do however, have witty road signs to change that scowl to a smile. Here we go:

 

By D.S. Mitchell

Silly Road Signs

  1. Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital: I used a spot remover on my dog . . . .  He disappeared.
  2. Highland Road Animal Hospital: My alarm doesn’t have a snooze button . . . .  It has paws.
  3. Grants Pass Vet Clinic: Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat . . . .  Major faux paw.
  4. Washoe County Veterinary Services: Against animal testing. They get nervous and mark all the answers wrong!
  5. Portland Veterinary Clinic: Q: What animal has more lives than a cat?  A: Frogs, they croak every night!
  6. St. Joe’s Veterinary Hospital: Free belly rubs with each exam . . . . Sorry, pets only!
  7. Carroll County Veterinary Clinic: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to see it . . . you can bet a chihuahua 500 miles away will bark at it.
  8. Seaside Animal Clinic: Our dog swallowed a bag of scrabble tiles . . . . the vet is checking him out, no word yet!
  9. Sandy Animal Clinic: Why was the cat sitting on the computer? . . . .  To keep an eye on the mouse!
  10. Warrenton Veterinary Hospital: For a man to truly understand rejection . . . . he must first own a cat.
  11. Astoria Paw and Claws: Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? . . . .Too many cheetahs.

Well folks, enough of that shit. Have a great day. Be glad you’re an American. We may have our problems, but we’ve got the veterinarians to keep us smiling.

Martin Luther King, Jr: A Short Profile

Martin Luther King, Jr: A Short Profile

The life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr: A Short Profile

Editor: It’s been nearly 60 years since the assassination of Dr. King. In those intervening years the Robert’s Court has spent a lot of time whittling away at the rights enshrined in the 1965 Voting Rights Act, until quite literally it is a shell of it’s previous authority. It is imperative that the Congress pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act and the Freedom to Vote Act. Our voting rights are in serious jeopardy and these two landmark pieces of legislation will once again guarantee voting rights for all American citizens, red, white, black, yellow, and brown. It is time for this country to live up to the promise that all men (and women) are created equal.

By Cate Hessel, Wes Hessel and D. S. Mitchell

Birth to Death

Martin Luther King, Jr. the acknowledged face of the 1960’s Civil Rights movement in the United States, was born on January 15, 1929, in Atlanta, Georgia. King, was murdered by a sniper while standing on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee, on April 4, 1968.

Pastor and Activist

King was a pastor and social activist. It was under his leadership that segregation of African Americans in the South and other parts of the United States was ended. King throughout his life promoted non-violent tactics, much like Gandhi in India. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964.

Comfy Middle Class

Martin grew up in a comfortable middle class home. His parents were college educated. Both his father and his maternal grandfather were Baptist preachers and had pastored the prestigious Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. The family lived on Auburn Avenue, at the time one of the most prosperous black areas in the country.

College at 15

In a special World War 2 program, intended to boost college enrollment by admitting promising high school students to college early, 15 year old Martin was admitted to Morehouse College in 1944. At Morehouse, King pursued medicine and law. By his senior year, at his father’s urging, he decided to enter the ministry. King’s mentor at Morehouse College was the college president, Dr. Benjamin E. Mays. Dr. Mays was a theologian and “social gospel” activist.

The Social Gospel Movement

The “social gospel movement” began in the 1920’s. Practitioners believed in applying Christian ethics to social problems. The foundational belief of the Social Gospel Movement was that salvation could be attained by helping others. Committed to fighting racial inequality, Mays denounced the black community for “complacency” in the face of oppression. He pushed the leaders of the black church into social action, by accusing them of emphasizing the hereafter, instead of the here and now. King heard the call to service, and after his own experience in the north one summer, he swore to fight the evils of  segregation.

Never Alone

Dr. King,  was not alone in the struggle. Although MLK stands out among the leaders of the 1960’s civil rights movement in the United States he was just one of many.  Other members his leadership team, or the “big six” as they were known, were James Farmer, A. Philip Randolph, Roy Wilkins, Whitney Young, and John Lewis.  During his life Martin Luther King was both heralded and condemned.

Continue reading

Dr. King Still Speaks To Us . . . .

Dr. King Still Speaks To Us…

Martin Luther King Day is the third Monday of each year. A time we remember a great man and the unending struggle for equal rights.

Dr. King Still Speaks To Us…

 

By Cate & Wes Hessel

 

The Late Great Dr. King

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., stands out among the leaders of the black civil rights movement in the United States.  Other members of the “Big Six” who walked alongside Martin were; James Farmer, A. Philip Randolph, Roy Wilkins, Whitney Young, and John Lewis.  But Dr. King, or MLK, as many refer to him, has become the face of the 1960’s civil rights movement. During his life Martin Luther King was both heralded and condemned.

He Still Speaks To Us

Dr. King’s eloquence still speaks to us, calling us to continue the fight for what is right and just.

The Bible – God’s word

Above all, MLK was a preacher. His belief in the ‘promise’ is rooted in the Scriptures. He spoke from – the Bible.  That foundation is most apparent in the following:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve.  You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.  You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.  You only need a heart full of grace.  A soul generated by love.”

And one paraphrased from his namesake, reformist Martin Luther:

“Live like Jesus died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back tomorrow.”

Continue reading

The Words Of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Quotes of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The majesty of Martin Luther King's words inspire us even past his tragic death.

Quotes of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

By D. S. Mitchell

Celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr.

The third Monday of each January we celebrate MLK Day. In 2024, the holiday will fall on January 15th. As we prepare to celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr., a man who died too soon, it is impossible to overlook the majesty of his words. So, I thought today would be a great day to re-read some of his most well-known quotes.

BE INSPIRED!

Quotes Of MLK

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

“So even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.”

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

“I am not interested in power for power’s sake, but I’m interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.”

“A right delayed is a right denied.”

“The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.”

“Whatever your life’s work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.”

“We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now.”

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

“I want to be the white man’s brother, not his brother-in-law.”

“There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

“If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.”

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

On The Subject Of Race by Oprah Winfrey

On The Subject Of Race

"Senseless injustices continue with names and different circumstances, but all are Emmett Till." Oprah Winfrey

On the Subject of Race

By Oprah Winfrey

Editor’s Note: The following was published in O Magazine in May of 2017 when O Magazine was still a print magazine.  Oprah wrote these words in her ‘What I Know For Sure’ column. I thought her comments were important to repeat, now six years later.

We Bleed the Same

On the subject of race here’s what I know for sure: We the people of planet Earth have made it far more complicated than it needs to be. Whether you’re type A, B, AB, O, positive or negative, you bleed the way I do, and your pain feels the same as mine. This is the ultimate lesson I’ve absorbed, person by person, from the thousands of interviews I’ve done over the years. Members of every race have heartache. Circumstances may differ, but sorrows are the same.

More Alike, Than Unalike

Joy and triumph are felt by people of every creed and belief. And though it’s true what Maya Angelou always said-“We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.”- it’s also true that our unlikeness makes us whole. A whole family. A whole community. A whole nation. A whole world. It’s your differences that make you you. 

“It’s So Simple”

I sometimes feel a wave of sadness for us spiritually deprived, unconscious creatures who just don’t seem to get it. Years ago on my show, a grieving mother recounted her dying son’s last words and final breath, “Oh, Mom,” he said. “It’s so simple.” Those words made a lasting impression on me.

A Similar Journey

It is so simple to see that we’re all on the same journey, carving our paths with every choice and experience. With every action and reaction. Quite simply, to live well, we need to love well.

Harm To The Collective Soul

The audacity it takes to judge another because they don’t look or sound or act like you goes against the current of humanity. Every time we discriminate against a woman in a headscarf, the whole of us suffers. Every time we treat a brown skinned man with a Hispanic name as though he’s the “other,” we do harm to our collective human soul.

An Accuser’s Lies

Emmett Till’s accuser has finally admitted-after six decades-that the young boy’s racist murder, a murder that tore the soul of our whole country, was wrong. Shouldn’t have happened. And though she can no longer remember exactly what occurred, she says it didn’t take place the way she testified.

The List Of Names Is Long

The senseless injustices will continue. Trayvon Martin, Laquan McDonald. Twelve-year-old Tamir Rice. Srinivas Kuchibhotla, the Indian engineer fatally shot in a Kansas bar in February (2017). The nine good people killed at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina. All different names and different circumstances, but all Emmett Till. When will it end?

When we decide to end it.

Looking Back At Trump

Looking Back At Trump 2017

A man living in an alternate universe of madness wants another change to ruin the government

Looking Back at Trump 2017

 

By D.S. Mitchell and Sallie Lester

Editors Note:

The Trump Town Hall on CNN the other night, had the hair on my arms standing up and I felt a deep visceral anger and disgust I haven’t felt since Trump was president. With that disgust of everything Trump renewed, I was prompted to go back and revisit numerous calamitypolitics.com articles from Trump’s first few months in office.

Listen folks, all you need to do is read the newspaper to know Trump is a bad dude. He is a shameless narcissist, a fake and a liar, a sexual predator, a grifter, a tax fraud, among many other proven things, but most importantly he is a real threat to our democracy. Now here he comes again, after fomenting an insurrection, asking us to give him a second chance to bring down the  damn government. It’s happening in Israel, Hungary, and Turkey. It could happen here. We must stop Captain Chaos. Donate to the re-elect Biden-Harris 2024 presidential campaign.

Back in 2016

Millions of people across the country were deeply disturbed and shocked in 2016 after the Electoral College determined Donald J. Trump to have been elected president of the United States. Many protested in the streets, some like me took to the computer to Resist the insanity of a TV huckster and an absurdity like Donald Trump becoming president.

Continue reading

Trump Stuck in the Mud

OPINION: 

Trump Stuck in the Mud

Trump put on a disgusting show last night at the CNN Town Hall

OPINION:

Trump Stuck in the Mud

By D.S. Mitchell

A Real Train Wreck

Anyone that knows me knows my total disgust of anything and everything, Trump. So, some may wonder why I would waste an hour watching the CNN Donald Trump Town Hall last night.  Frankly, I just wanted to confirm that all the character traits that originally made me loath the man were still applicable. I didn’t need the hour to confirm my original assessment, but I hung around, just because as with all train wrecks it’s hard to look away.

Friendly Audience

He had a handpicked pro-Trump audience in New Hampshire. The crowd laughed and cheered at his attacks on E. Jean Carroll who had just the day before, won a $5 million lawsuit against the ex-president for sexual assault and defamation. Hopefully, Ms. Carroll isn’t done yet because this guy hasn’t learned anything about defamation. I believe she has grounds for a second defamation case against the disgraced, twice impeached, pro-sexual assault, ex- president.

A Vivid Reminder 

If nothing else, last night gave us a vivid reminder of what another term of a Donald Trump presidency would look like. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m way, way, past the chaos, shame, hatred, cruelty, lies, corruption, and total dysfunction this man brought to the White House. I’m ready to see this aberration gone into the dark night, never to be seen or heard from again.

Continue reading

Carlson In My Rearview Mirror

Tucker Carlson In My Rearview Mirror

Fox said goodbye to Tucker Carlson. Time will tell whether Carlson fades into oblivion like Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly other past Fox rabble rousers.

Tucker Carlson In My Rearview Mirror

By D. S. Mitchell

 

$787.5 Million For Dominion 

The Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit cost Fox (News?) $787.5 million big ones. If it sounds huge, it is. In fact, it is by far the largest defamation settlement in the history of the planet. Prior to the Fox-Dominion case, the largest defamation payout was for $177 million, in a 2017 case between ABC News and Beef Products Inc., a South Dakota meat processing company.

Five Factors To Prove Defamation

Five factors must have occurred to prove defamation. 1.) Publication of false information. 2.) The person, or in this case entity, Dominion Voting Systems, was specifically identified by Fox and its commentators. 3.) The remarks had a negative impact on the person or the entity’s reputation. 4.) The information disseminated (by Fox) was false and they knew it was false (reckless disregard). 5.) The defendant (Fox) is at fault, having published the lie for public consumption.

What Exactly Did Fox Do?

First and foremost, Fox and its on-air crew (Carlson, Hannity, Ingraham, and multiple others) repeatedly lied to their viewers. Despite information to the contrary, day after day, night after night, they repeated the lies, claiming Dominion Voting Systems had switched or credited votes illegally to Joe Biden. An intoxicated, red faced, Rudy Giuliani, a mentally disturbed Sydney Powell, and that weirdo Pillow Guy were on Fox every night pushing the lie that Donald Trump had won the 2020 presidential election with zero pushback from the commentators.

Nasty Secrets Revealed

As the trial date drew near, the cable news airwaves were filled with jaw-dropping leaks of emails between the folks at Fox. The texts and emails from the king of bullshit, and Fox’s biggest star, Tucker Carlson, stunned me. The shock came when I realized this SOB was even more disgusting in real life than I had imagined possible.  Behind the scenes Tucker was like a rabid dog going after everyone from Donald Trump, to his boss, Rupert Murdoch.

‘Antifa Kid’

The large number, and the toxic content of Tucker’s emails were truly outrageous. In one particularly egregious email he “prayed” for the killing of a protester being attacked by a group of white supremacists. Now that is sick. On 1/7/2021 Carlson sent a text message to his producer telling him about his visceral response to the video. In the video three or more white men were filmed attacking an ‘Antifa kid.’  Carlson said he wanted the victim to be killed. After some thought Tucker decided that was ‘deeply wrong.’

Continue reading