Women of a Certain Age-Thanksgiving Edition

Women of a Certain Age Thanksgiving Edition

Women of a Certain Age-Thanksgiving Edition

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you still the baste the turkey with butter, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you make dressing stuffed inside the bird without fear of salmonella, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you call it pumpkin pie seasoning, not pumpkin spice, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If you don’t understand why there is a pumpkin spice latte, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you wear a ruffled apron to take the turkey out of the oven, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you make your own green bean casserole, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you don’t understand why an already deceased cooked turkey needs to rest, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you have no idea what the hell a tofurky is, nor do you want to, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If you start stocking up on canned pumpkin beginning November 1st, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If you make mashed potatoes from scratch, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you know a way to slice cranberry sauce to camouflage the can indentations, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you recall the first Butterball turkey talk line, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you remember the first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, well, your certainly of a very certain age – happy 100th birthday to that iconic celebration…
  14. If your Thanksgiving table has polished silver, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If your Thanksgiving table has starched and ironed linens, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If your Thanksgiving table has fine bone china and crystal stemware, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If your Thanksgiving table includes refrigerated crescent rolls from a poppable can, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you join the men watching football only after the dishes are washed, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you make stuffing by cutting up four loaves of bread a couple days before the holiday and then let them get stale, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you have no idea what umami is and don’t want it on your Thanksgiving table, you might be a woman of a certain age…
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