Illegal
Illegal
By John Curran
Well, it looked like my chimp Charley was leading the charge, as he’d just slipped his leash and was racing on ahead toward where all the people were already gathering on the Courthouse lawn. It was the Protest, and me and my people were following up behind, me pushing Dave in his wheelchair and Darlene and Vajra carrying the signs and cowbells.
I was trying to keep an eye on Charley, my chimp. He’s a pretty good chimp, but he’s a chimp, in a world of humans. But like I said, he’s a cool chimp. I see him over there. He’s gone right over to that shady patch of lawn where two weeks before me ‘n some other fellas had had a drum circle going. That had been at Protest 2. We were now at Protest 3, and it must be said that at Protest 2 we had sat right there where Charley was now and we banged on our bongos and everything had been fine.
Charley hadn’t been at Protest 2, we’d left him at the ranch, he’d thought he was in love with the neighbor chimp. Now he knew better but that’s another story. Now he was here with us and amazingly enough having gone on ahead with my bongo and his bag full of ping pong balls and was now sitting in the very spot where we’d sat for our bongo party.
And then I saw it all. Charley hadn’t been there ten seconds when up walks this uniformed big white dude acting like Security, saying no one was allowed there buddy, you gotta go in front of the wall like everybody else was suddenly being told they had to do. Well, Charley wasn’t having it and went into full on bad chimp mode. He’s a pretty good actor Charley is and when he puts on this one I gotta say, he’s pretty damn convincing. Anyway you shoulda seen that Security guy step back one time and back his big butt slowly, away from Charley. If he’d had a gun he probably woulda’ drawn it.
Anyway, he hooks up with some other ‘Security’ guys down at the far end ‘n they all come up in a bunch but by that time Charley’s gone right up the nearest tree and he’s throwing ping pong balls down on these guys. I decide at this point I better step in here and declare myself. Well, they told me I could probably be charged. I said, “yeah, I know,” that much I know. They were really kinda’ alright though, we all had a laugh, and Charley came down and acted like he was sorry. Very convincing too, was Charley.
And later, nine days exactly, it was reported in our local newspaper that what the ‘Security’ had been doing telling people (and chimps) that they couldn’t sit on the Courthouse grass had been illegal. I showed it to Charley and he just laughed; as if he had known it all along. Pretty convincing ‘n, I ain’t lying, maybe sometimes even a little scary, in that way. I mean, what is really going on, Charley?
