How To Be a Lady and a Feminist

How To Be a Lady and a Feminist

Editor: As Women’s History Month fades into memory, Cate offers another one of her tongue-in-cheek suggestion lists for the feminist in each of us.

By Cate Rees-Hessel 

As Woman’s History Month draws to a close, let’s talk about how a lady with feminist pride acts. I’m laughing uncontrollably as I speak those words. Of course, well-behaved women rarely make history, but there are feminine ways to take a stance. As the notorious RBG said, “There is strength in numbers. When fighting for what we believe, we should always aim to inspire and empower those around us.” and “Fight for things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”

Fun is certainly okay; Gloria Steinem reminds us, “So whatever you want to do, just do it… Making a damn fool of yourself is absolutely essential.” Ladies should always have an excellent sense of humor. Shirley Chisholm told us, “If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair” (mine is pink). But remember, queens, we must always remain regal in any circumstance:

Tips on how to do it: 

1. Unwashed is unacceptable for you or your clothes. Always be well groomed, bathed, shampooed, combed, with neat, clean fingernails and do not forget those toenails, you never know when you may have to kick off your shoes.
2. Speak clearly and avoid trash talk, however, every now and again, an interesting word just might escape our perfectly glossed lips.
3. Remember that everyone loves a lady – use manners in all circumstances; shrill screaming is not an attractive look for anyone.
4. Intelligence is sexy; don’t act stupid or like a bimbo – it’s not attractive. Smart attracts smart.
5. Dress appropriately – sexy does not have to be trashy. I have been told the sexiest outfit I own in a pale blue turtleneck sweater and perfectly fitted leggings. Plunging necklines are fine in certain circumstances, with proper undergarments, of course.
6. If you are wearing a dress or skirt, please sit with your legs together – no one needs to know the color of your lingerie. Well said, sister.
7. If you like those mid-thigh miniskirts, please wear panties and rise from a seated position carefully – extremely carefully.
8. Keep your under and outer layers clean, free of stains, rips, and tears. I know there are a whole lot of torn jeans being worn everywhere, but, if you’re trying for a lasting impression forgo the ripped jeans and T’s.
9. Accessories can make an ensemble, but it is important that they are appropriate and not over done. Twentieth century fashion icon Coco Chanel used to advise removing one piece of jewelry before walking out the door.
10. This should not even need to be said, but here goes; never, I said never, make a play for another woman’s spouse or significant other.
11. Ladies cover your mouth when you yawn, no one wants to look down your throat. Sneeze into your elbow, and cover a cough.
12. “Please” and “Thank You” do exist in today’s world – use them often.
13. Take care of your body: shave, use deodorant, and lotion. Have a skin care regimen – cleanse, tone, moisturize. If you need long term protection, there are now products that claim 72 hour odor defense. Oh, my.
14. Mani-pedis can really polish off your look.
15. Get dressed for that midnight ice cream run – never go out in your pajamas, robe, or slippers. Remember flat tires and stalled cars aren’t planned events.
16. Ladies do not belch or have gastric disturbance in public – head to the ladies room. If an unfortunate noise escapes, please look at the dog and then skyward before suggesting a change of diet for your pet.
17. Use excellent table manners: napkin on your lap, use silverware whenever possible. Gently pat your lips with a napkin. Finger foods should be consumed daintily, not inhaled. Never chew with your mouth open. Do not speak with your mouth full. Use the correct fork and avoid phrases like “Pardon my boarding house reach” – politely ask for food to be passed.
18. A lady can be just a bit naughty – if it’s light and fun.
19. Accept a compliment with humility; yet with enthusiasm – say thank you and flash that beautiful smile.
20. Speaking of smiles. Take care of your teeth: brushing, flossing, and regular cleanings are extremely important. Utilize mouthwash and mints.
21. Be an Elle Woods: “What, like it’s hard?”
22. Take Gloria Steinem’s advice, “Don’t think about making women fit the world – think about making the world fit women.”
23. Remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
24. Feminist pride means holding your head up high and being heard…