Cosmo, The Talking Crow Comes To Town

Cosmo, The Talking Crow Comes To Town 

Introducing Cosmos. The talkative crow from Oregon.

Cosmo, The Talking Crow Comes To Town

Editors Note: While I was scrounging around looking for a Thanksgiving story I came across the story of Cosmo the Talking Crow that I reported on back in 2021. Cosmo (or maybe it’s Connie) brought a smile to a lot of people’s faces. So here, once again, is Cosmo’s story of a bad Thanksgiving vacation.

 

Oregon State Police called in on a foul mouthed crow 

By D. S. Mitchell

Down State Noise
Normally, the goings on in Grant’s Pass, Oregon, never gain the attention of the big city folks of Portland, Seattle, or LA.   Last week however, we here on the west coast got a bit of a smile as we learned about the antics of a rogue, rough talking, four letter word tossing, crow.  You read that right.  A crow. As the story goes, out of the blue a friendly, albeit attention seeking crow, showed up in town.  According to reports the first place the crow was spotted was on top of the Planet Fitness building, where he would talk to people entering and exiting the facility. Drawing both laughter and a raised finger or two.
Moving On
Apparently dissatisfied with the Planet Fitness digs our talkative and colorfully articulate bird looked around for friendlier faces.  He seemed to find what he was looking for when he found the Allen Dale Elementary School in late November.  It didn’t take long before he was the resident mascot. The news became public when Naomi Imel, an assistant at the school called in the story to the Oregonian on 12/09/2021. Lizzie  Acker 503-221-8052, lacker@Oregonian.com was the featured reporter who followed up on the feathered friend story.

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You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age

More of the Famous, “You Might be a Woman of a Certain Age”. . . 

More of "Women of a Certain Age."

More of the Famous “You Might be a Woman of a Certain Age”…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

  1. If you ever had clear plastic enclosed furniture and got stuck to it while wearing hot pants, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you wore Charlie perfume when it originally came out, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you know Youth Dew Bath Oil came before the perfume, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If you know what Youth Dew is and who still makes it, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you ever used Tinkerbell cologne, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you ever used Tinkerbell wash-off nail polish, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you had a little doll in a plastic perfume bottle, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you ever had a Dawn doll, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If you ever had a Chrissy doll, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If you had an original Alan or Midge doll, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you remember Growing Up Skipper – yes, her boobs grew (see the ”Barbie” movie for a demonstration), you might be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you know who Spike the dog is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you know who Dennis Rodman is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  14. If you know what Terry Bradshaw’s occupation was before he became an actor, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If you had day of the week panties, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If you are ready to throw your Spanx at Sir Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If you are ready to throw your Depends at Sir Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you are ready to throw yourself at Sir Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you ever had a beeper, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you watched Saturday morning cartoons growing up, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  21. If you ever ran through the sprinkler as a child, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  22. If you ever caught fireflies and put them in jar with blades of grass and a metal lid with punched holes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  23. If you ever went berry picking, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  24. If you remember Mr. Ed or Here’s Lucy, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  25. If you ever had a metal glider on your porch, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  26. If you had a wicker laundry hamper with a flower accent, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  27. If you ever had a rubber bathing cap with a brightly-colored flower, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  28. If you ever had wax lips or bottles with a sugary beverage in them, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  29. If you ever chose your Christmas presents from the Sears Wish Book, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  30. If you ever shopped at Sears, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  31. If you ever shopped at Radio Shack, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  32. If you ever shopped at Zayre or Venture, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  33. If you ever ate a breakfast brownie from a box, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  34. If you ever had a Swanson frozen dinner with the metal tray, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  35. If you ever had a little tub of ice cream with a flat wooden spoon, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  36. If you ever had orange drink in a miniature milk carton, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  37. If you or your child ever had a baby crib with an animal applique, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  38. If you ever had an original Spirograph, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  39. If you ever had an original Lite Brite, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  40. If you ever spent any Saturday nights at Blockbuster, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  41. If you know who the Great Pumpkin is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  42. If you ever saw a flashing blue light right after hearing, “Attention K-Mart shoppers…”, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  43. If you ever consumed Sugar Babies, Bazooka, Mary Janes, Lemonhead, or Chico Sticks, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  44. If you ever called a radio station to play your request and dedication on the air, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  45. If you know who Casey Kasem is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  46. If you know who Wolfman Jack is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  47. If you know what musical House of WAXX is from, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  48. If you ever met the Flintstones or the Jetsons, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  49. If you ever smelled Jovan Musk Oil, English Leather, High Karate, or Aqua Velva, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  50. If you know Mikey hated everything, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  51. If you ever had Jiffy Pop, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  52. If you ever owned an avocado green electric fry pan, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  53. If you ever repaired a run in your stocking with clear nail polish, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  54. If you ever wore a Frank Mazzendrea design, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  55. If you ever wore an original Norma Kamali garment made of sweatsuit fabric, you might be a woman of a certain age…

I Just Want to Know, How Come?

I Just Want to Know, How Come?

Trump is the original flim-flam man.

I Just Want to Know, How Come?

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If convicted felons can’t vote for president, how come a felon with 43 convictions could even BE president? He can’t even vote for himself. He has no right to be on the ballot.
  2. If Joe Biden was allegedly too old to be president for four more years, how come Donald Trump, now the oldest candidate to run for the office, could serve four years? He is 78 years old and would be 82 at the end of his term. Why the hue and cry for President Biden to drop out of the race due to his age, despite the fact he was the incumbent, AND had beat the orange haired monster by over 7 million votes in 2020.
  3. If Kamala Harris does not like Jewish people as “The Donald” claims, how come she is married to a Jewish gentleman?
  4. If Kamala and her supporters (like me) are childless cat ladies, how come she is referred to by her step children as “Momala“, and so many of us are called “mom”? Come on, childless cat ladies, we can hiss with claws out because we are pussies Trump will never grab. I intend to kick kitty litter in the face of J.D. Vance and watch every episode of Jennifer Aniston on Friends. In fact, I’m hosting a Friends marathon while wearing cat ear headbands.
  5. How come any Democrat that has an indiscretion, because nobody is perfect, is drummed out of office and prosecuted, yet the multi-time adulterer, Donald Trump, is revered and treated as a Messiah by the so called “evangelical” right wingers. There is only one Messiah and that is Jesus, a Jewish carpenter.
  6. How come J.D. Vance, who previously referred to Trump as an American Hitler (the Donald certainly is America’s Hitler) but now he’s Trump’s vice presidential running mate? Interesting that Hitler orchestrated his own assassination attempt. I spent many good times in Butler, Pennsylvania, and I honestly question the Trump shooting. It saddens me that lives were lost that day near my hometown of Pittsburgh. I must also point out that Trump’s former vice president Mike Pence has distanced himself from the Donald and has refused to endorse him. Pence’s security advisor is part of the Republicans for Harris, advising Mike to endorse Kamala.
  7. How come Republicans are all about managing women’s reproductive organs? Like Tim Walz said, “Mind your own damn business.”
  8. How come Republicans are anti-Semitic and yet many are hard supporters of Israel?
  9. How come Republicans are racists?
  10. How come Republicans are anti-women?
  11. How come Republicans are happy to give big business and billionaires tax cuts while refusing tx help for hard working lower and middle class Americans?
  12. How come Republicans are anti-LGBTQ when Jesus loves everyone, died for all sins, and God made everyone in his image and likeness? “So God created mankind in his own image…” (Genesis 1:27a NIV); “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Psalm 139:14a NIV).
  13. How come Republicans want to see individuals pay student loans that are not affordable and causing financial hardship for those individuals that are struggling to make a living?
  14. How come Republicans don’t want common sense gun laws that will save lives?
  15. How come Republicans want the convicted felon that lost the election four years ago and made an international disaster of the pandemic to be their nominee once again?
  16. How come Republicans insisted that President Clinton be impeached for his indiscretion with Monica Lewinsky but they make Donald Trump, who cheated on all of his wives, into a heroic  figure? I must point out, to the right wing fundamentalists, there is only one Messiah in Christianity, Jesus.
  17. How come Republicans want tax breaks for billionaires that don’t need them, but want to abolish Social Security for seniors and disabled that have paid into the system for decades?
  18. How come Republicans deny climate change when severe weather indicates the “inconvenient truth” that global warming does exist and it is destroying our world?
  19. How come Republicans want babies born, but deny them nutrition assistance and medical care once they are here?
  20. How come Republicans just don’t care about the hard working lower and middle classes?

Women of a Certain Age-Yet Again…

Women of a Certain Age – Yet Again…

Women of a Certain Age-Yet Again…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you had a latch hook shag rug in colors of orange, yellow, and chocolate brown, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you had a macrame plant hanger and a bead curtain in your first apartment…
  3. If you remember some of the shows on “When Radio Was” when they originally ran…
  4. If you know exactly what “You’ll shoot your eye out” means…
  5. If you ever sent or received a telegram…
  6. If you read Dennis the Menace or Mary Worth comic strips in a print newspaper…
  7. If you still read and enjoy a print newspaper…
  8. If you wore puka shells…
  9. If you used Short and Sassy shampoo and conditioner…
  10. If you remember the advertisement that read, “The only important things you wear are your jeans and your hair”…
  11. If you remember “Curlers in your hair, shame on you”…
  12. If you own curlers that don’t heat up or plug in…
  13. If your boyfriend had a Mustang muscle car…
  14. If you know who “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” is…
  15. If you ever ate in a Pizza Hut with a salad bar…
  16. If you recall when bell bottoms and platform shoes were in fashion…
  17. If you ever bought a cup of coffee for a quarter, or even 50 cents…
  18. If you remember “You deserve a break today” and “At McDonald’s, it’s clean” commercials…
  19. If you ever got change back from a dollar at McDonald’s…
  20. If you ever shopped at a five and dime store…
  21. If you know what a five and dime store is…
  22. If you ever ate at a Woolworth restaurant…
  23. If you remember the original dollar stores…
  24. If you paid six dollars for your first concert ticket…
  25. If you ever wore gloves and a hat on a regular basis…
  26. If you remember Woodstock the concert, not just the bird…
  27. If you remember “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too…you’d cry too if it happened to you”…
  28. If you still own leg warmers and a double skinny belt…
  29. If you miss big hair, beehives and Aquanet…
  30. If you long for Dippity Do and DEP…
  31. If you ever used a hairspray called FREEZE…
  32. If you owned a smocked tunic top to wear over jeans…
  33. If you still wear Jean Nate body splash…
  34. If you still wear Sweet Honesty perfume…
  35. If you ever used Youth Dew bath oil…
  36. If you still use Prell Shampoo…
  37. If you love a good “Skybar”…
  38. If you know what a “Skybar” is…
  39. If you still bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan (of course, the bacon you bring home is still less than your male counterpart)…
  40. If you saw an Alfred Hitchcock film in a theater…
  41. If you remember theaters that had only one screen…
  42. If you would give anything for a Tab on ice…
  43. If you know what a Tab is…
  44. If a flower behind your ear was an elegant touch…
  45. If you know the lyrics to all the Carol King and Carol Bayer Sager songs…
  46. If you remember original Orange Julius drinks and Dilly Bars…
  47. If you know exactly what “One Adam Twelve” means…
  48. If you support and respect the older gentleman that authored the Violence Against Women Act and gave us our first female VP…
  49. If Dr. Jill Biden is your role model…
  50. If you weathered the rain and the sun marching for Girls in Sports, reproductive freedom, and ERA…

Some are Saying it Was an Inside Job

OPINION:

Some are Saying it was an Inside Job

Some are saying it was an inside job

OPINION:

Some are Saying it was an Inside Job

 **Editors note. This is an opinion piece and Calamity News and Politics is neutral on this topic.

By Anonymous II

It seems like more and more often I find my writing fueled by outrage. My current outrage centers on the bedwetters in the Democratic Party and the hysterics in the media; instead of focusing on the dangers of a second Trump administration, the Republican 2025 Plan, and now the assassination melodrama.

For the last two weeks the only news filling the airwaves has been dump demented old Joe. This is in spite of old Joe having had the most significant presidency in the last 90 years. No one said the transition would be complete in four years. There is still much to do.

The news of an assassination attempt against Trump has finally changed the focus of the news. Unfortunately, the incident has only amped up Trump’s message of hate and violence instead of tamping it down. As a conspiracy theorist friend of mine said, ‘it’s a plot by Trump to solidify his position as targeted and persecuted.’ You know kinda like Jesus Christ.

As my friend noted, Trump doesn’t care that people were killed. He hadn’t given a fuck on January 6th when people were getting wounded and killed; so why would he give a fuck now? My friend’s thought was that Trump would have a small device tucked behind his ear and when Trump’s paid shooter started firing Trump would detonate the device which would ignite behind his ear making it appear he was shot.

My friend is convinced it was an inside job.

Women of a Certain Age

Women of a Certain Age –

Barbie Birthday Edition…

Women of a Certain Age –

Barbie Birthday Edition…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If “One Bad Apple”, “I Think I Love You”, “Pleasant Valley Sunday”, or “Ben” are on your playlist, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you know what to ask any mermaid you happen to see…
  3. If you know why Charlie has good taste…
  4. If you ever polished your teeth with Pearl Drops (mmmmm)…
  5. If you remember new Coke and new math…
  6. If you ever swung on a tire…
  7. If you ever sang about swinging on a star and carrying moonbeams home in a jar….
  8. If you ever drank from the garden hose (don’t try this again)…
  9. If you had a Betsy Wetsy, Suzie Cute, Chatty Cathy or Mrs Beasley doll…
  10. If you ever used two tin cans and a length of twine as a communication device…
  11. If you ever “drove” a Yugo, Le Car, Bobcat, or Pinto, not only are you of a certain age, I feel sorry for you…
  12. If your baloney has a first and last name…
  13. If you ever made a balcony appetizer with a pearl onion on a toothpick…
  14. If you know what choosey moms choose…
  15. If you ever shaked and baked, or “helped”…
  16. If you know who was moving kind of slow, at the junction…
  17. If your recipe cards include tuna casserole with potato chips crust and chicken ala king….
  18. If you ever used recipe cards…
  19. If you ever read a Weekly Reader…
  20. If you know who Dick, Jane, Spot, and Puff are.
  21. If you call math arithmetic…
  22. If you recall when Pringles were just potato flavored only…
  23. If you remember when M&M candies came in just plain and peanut…
  24. If you ever used a Trimline or Princess phone (mine was pink)…
  25. If you ever protected your manicure by dialing the phone with the eraser end of a pencil…
  26. If when you hear Amazon, you think of a river in South America…
  27. If you ever received a glass or a towel inside a box of detergent…
  28. If you ever received a toy in cereal or a prize in a Cracker Jack box…
  29. If you know Cracker Jack has nothing to do with crackers or a real man named Jack…
  30. If you ever made a purchase with S&H green stamps…
  31. If you ever clapped on, clapped off…
  32. If you ever waxed on, waxed off…
  33. If you ever owned any compilation by K-Tel….
  34. If you owned an original pair of Candies’ clogs…
  35. If you ever shopped at Peck and Peck, Sears, Wards, “Misc”, Murphy’s, Thom McCann, Buster Brown, or Lerner shop…
  36. If you know who got no respect but had a lot of balls…
  37. If your favorite summer Olympians are Mark Spitz, Olga Corbit, or Cathy Rigby…
  38. If your favorite ice skater Olympic stars are Peggy Fleming, Dorothy Hamill, Liz Manley, Brian Botano, Brian Orser, or Scott Hamilton…
  39. If you call a credit card a Charge-A-Plate…
  40. If you ever walked through the Elizabeth Arden Red Door…
  41. If you ever had an Adrian Arpel in-salon facial, and went on to follow her on QVC….
  42. If you know who Elizabeth Arden and Adrian Arpel are….
  43. If you ever used Youth Dew bath oil…
  44. If you still use Jean Nate splash-on cologne…
  45. If you have ever heard of splash-on cologne…
  46. If you ever wore strawberry or lemon perfume …
  47. If you ever wore Coty’s Emeraude perfume…
  48. If your favorite cologne is named Charlie…
  49. If you ever used a Trapper Keeper or a gel pen…
  50. If you ever used a Day Runner…
  51. If you ever were a candy striper…
  52. If you recall when nurses wore caps and dresses…
  53. If you ever owned blow mold Christmas or Easter lawn ornaments…
  54. If you ever washed your hair with beer or used an egg white face mask …
  55. If Hazel or Bewitched are one of your favorite TV shows…
  56. If you know “You Got a Friend”….
  57. If you were a Lustre Creme shampoo girl or had a Lilt permanent…
  58. If you call Oil of Olay or Ponds cold cream…
  59. If you know who Mike Douglas and his weekly co-hosts were…
  60. If you ever watched “Apples Way”, “Lotsa Luck!” or “You Again” on TV…
  61. If you ever owned a scarf clip or sweater fastener…
  62. If you ever owned veiled hats or prim white gloves that are not for winter…
  63. If you’ve ever sought advice from Ann Landers or Dear Abby…
  64. If you know who Ann Landers or Dear Abby are…
  65. If you are as old as Barbie, you are 65, and are definitely a woman of a certain age…

 

Happy birthday, Barbara Millicent Roberts – you look great for 65. Thank you for empowering girls and women everywhere to be whatever they choose to be…

Spring and Summer Lifestyle Tips of a Budget

Spring and Summer Lifestyle Tips on a Budget

Here are some common sense ways to save money this spring and summer

Spring and Summer Lifestyle Tips on a Budget

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel with Wes Hessel

 

Mother, May I?

April showers bring May flowers, along with the promise of summer activities and enjoyment. There are very many ways to save money during warmer weather and still have lots of fun:

  1. Take advantage of free movies, plays, and concerts in the park or at your local libraries. Many of these outdoor events have food trucks – the cuisine is usually very good but can be rather pricey. Consider packing a cooler of food to save on funds when attending these festivities.
  2. Water parks are great for summer fun, and now is the time to get your season passes at a potential discount. Many park districts and recreation departments offer pool memberships at a cheaper early bird rate prior to Memorial Day weekend. Several neighborhoods have no cost or low cost splash pads that are like mini water parks, as well. Be careful at the concession counter – prices are higher there and often less healthy options are sold. Ask if coolers with food from home are permitted. Check rainout lines/webpages before using your gas to drive to the facility just to find out it’s closed on a particular day. Of course, if you can bike or walk to the local aquatic center, all the better.
  3. Toes in the sand season is almost here – pedicures are in order, but can be pricey. Consider an online coupon/Groupon, a beauty school mani-pedi, or DIY. Soak feet in warm water, adding in some fragrance or bath oil for a more spa-like experience. Trim toenails straight across with a clipper. Ingrown nails can be treated with a special file available at most big box retailers. Push back cuticles with an orangewood stick or metal implement made specifically for this purpose. Use an oil or cuticle remover for best results. A pumice stone or metal dry skin remover is preferable over a razor for callus and dry skin. Dry well between toes, and if need be, use an antifungal cream or spray. Use toe separators or wind tissue between your toes before you start polishing. Apply a base, two coats of color polish, and a clear top layer for the best look, then finish off with lotion. Dipping a cotton swab in a little nail polish remover and running it around your cuticles will remove any excess polish that may have gotten on your skin. A do-it-yourself pedicure can look great.
  4. Time share rental sites, home swaps, and Airbnb’s can make vacations more affordable, or join a hotel group in email for discount codes. Watch reviews, though, as the quality of a particular stay site can vary widely. airbnb.com, www.redweek.com, www.go-koala.com/timeshare-rentals. A staycation can be just as much fun – check for free local museum days or complimentary events at local parks, beaches, and other public institutions.
  5. Picnics and cookouts during spring and summer are great ways to get together with friends. Ask everyone to bring a dish to share, but be cautious of food safety. Use a meat thermometer before taking any protein off the grill. Do not cross contaminate food – never use the same plates or utensils for cooked items that have come in contact with raw foods, without thoroughly washing them. Keep foods cold – a cooler full of ice will suffice if you are barbecuing in a park where a refrigerator is unavailable. Wash hands thoroughly, antibacterial wipes and hand sanitizer in a pinch can work but I recommend only picnicking where there are bathrooms available. Back yard cookouts are a safer option. Meats should rest ten to fifteen minutes after removing from the cooking source, but never leave any perishable food out longer than a total of two hours. Consider warmer temperatures when choosing baked good to bring. Frostings and chocolate treats can easily melt in the heat. Make sure you stay hydrated, especially in heavy heat. Avoid caffeine and stick with liquids like good ol’ H2O and clear juices. Throw away your trash in provided receptacles if you’re eating at a park or other such location. Wipe down tables in public spaces with a wipe safe for food surfaces or bring a spray bottle of vinegar and napkins or paper towels to clean tables. Consider a table covering to keep the surface safe for consumption.
  6. Use discount sites and price comparison apps to save money on events and hot weather essentials. Spring is a good time to get in on sales before summer arrives. rakuten.com, www.groupon.com, www.joinhoney.com.
  7. Sunscreen is important whenever you are in the sun, but be wary of budget brands and potentially dangerous chemicals. Two years ago, the FDA, based on the currently available scientific data, said that only two sunscreen ingredients could be considered safe and effective – titanium dioxide and zinc oxide. Other UV filter chemicals like avobenzone, cinoxate, dioxybenzone, ensulizole, homosalate, meradimate, octinoxate, octisalate, octocrylene, oxybenzone, padimate O, and sulisobenzone have concerned regulators because of skin absorption. Of those, the worst are oxybenzone, homosalate, and avobenzone – all three of them have been connected to disruption of the endocrine system. The European Commission in 2021 released preliminary reports about the first two, saying they should only be used at most to 2.2% and 1.4%, respectively. Current U.S. regs only cap those concentration percentages at 6% and 15%. Remember dollar stores, as well as some big box stores, often have sunscreens, cosmetics, and other HBA products that are made in China – some of them with recognizable brand names – and these are not regulated. Look at labels – made in China or PRC (People’s Republic of China) pose real safety concerns.
  8. Local beaches and lakes are almost always free – just check bacteria conditions and other water quality standards before plunging into the drink.
  9. If you want to spend your tax refund on some beach or cruise wear, remember budget apparel is fine. Just like holiday clothing, these articles are only wearable for short seasons. Better to spend more on wardrobe staples and keep the trendy spends to a minimum. The same goes for beach towels and totes. Take advantage of end of season sales for next year – that’s a great way to get higher quality things that will last longer. Spend a bit more on swimwear – chlorinated water is hard on bathing suits and trunks.
  10. Remember, simple days and nights on the patio with loved ones, including furbabies, are a wonderful free way to enjoy the spring and summer seasons. A good book on a lounger with a glass of ice tea or lemonade is not just relaxing, but a break from the hustle and bustle of politics, social media, national news, and everyday stress. Relax, unwind and breathe…

No Other “President” In History

No Other “President” In History

Trump established many new firsts most of them bad, destructive and downright reprehensible

No Other “President” In History

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel & Wes Hessel

 

First Failure

I vowed when Trump took office to never call him “president”. For the sake of this article, I will loosely refer to him as such. “The Donald” is the first world leader to do many things but none of them are positive. Read on about Trump’s dubious “firsts”, and then vote blue:

No Other “President” In History

  1. First U.S. president to promise to be a dictator. America is a democracy, a republic technically, but still – our forefathers are spinning in their graves at this conduct.
  2. He is the first to want a military parade – not to honor our veterans but to seal the fact he wants to be a dictator.
  3. Refused to attend the inauguration of the newly elected President Biden – first president to not attend his successor’s inaugural ceremony in 152 years.
  4. Claimed the election was stolen from him because he lost, when in fact President Biden received 81,283,098,  a record number of popular votes.
  5. Trump was the first president to claim his predecessor (Obama) was not born in the United States and as such was disqualified from even running for the office.
  6. Has never released any tax returns – the first president in 45 years to have kept them secret.
  7. Lost party control of the House, Senate, and then his own office – first time in 89 years.
  8. Trump was the first president that failed to achieve at least a 50% approval rating at any time during his 4 years in office.
  9. Trump is the first president to openly support ”Christian Nationalism” – a.k.a. “white supremacy”.
  10. The first president ever indicted for crimes; paying off a porn star, mishandling classified documents, election law violations, etc., trying to hide behind an invented presidential immunity claim. At last count Trump had at least 88 felony charges against him, and in the words of Curly in “City Slickers”, “Day ain’t over yet…”
  11. First president to cause a foreign nation to issue a warrant for his arrest.
  12. Invited an insurrection – obviously first (and hopefully only) president to incite violent action against our government.
  13. Promises a national “bloodbath” if he loses the 2024 election.
  14. First former president to run for election after already losing his bid for a second term – first president in 28 years.
  15. Trump is the first former president to hawk bibles and gold painted high top sneakers to a weary late night television crowd.
  16. A Godless man using the faith of other to get votes, selling expensive Bibles to fleece far right wing supporters. Holding a Bible (upside down) he does not read, outside a church he does not attend, to get votes.
  17. Brought the first centerfold “first lady” into the White House.
  18. Insisted on visiting Pittsburgh after the synagogue shooting in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood. Trump disregarded the Jewish mourning process to sit shiva for the deceased, showing disrespect for the Jewish community.
  19. When Trump entered office he dissolved the Infectious Disease Task Force which was put in place by the Obama-Biden administration, to quickly address communicable disease issues. That action crippled the response to the COVID-19 pandemic leading to the death of 1,200,000 (or 120,000 depending again, on your source) in the U.S. He was the first president in a 120 years to preside over a crippling nationwide pandemic.
  20. Trump took credit for vaccines that President Biden was actually responsible for.
  21. Claimed in letters to Americans that he personally was responsible for the  first stimulus checks, when in fact it was the House of Representatives led by Nancy Pelosi that was responsible for the checks.
  22. First president to deliver fumbling, bumbling remarks about Easter, the Revolutionary War, and the Civil War with such iron pyrite nuggets such as, “Gettysburg, what an unbelievable battle that was. The Battle of Gettysburg, what an unbelievable-I mean, it was so much and so interesting, and so vicious and horrible, and so beautiful in so many different ways.”
  23. Another first when the former bragged about, “Grabbing  ’em by the p____” .
  24. A serial adulterer during each of his multiple marriages while claiming to be a Christian man.
  25. The first to  brag about overturning established legal precedent. Roe v. Wade was 50 years of established law when Donald’s Supreme Court overturned it. We now have chaos and confusion. leading to dangerous  pregnancy complications going untreated.
  26. Trump wants to see programs for children eliminated. He supports childhood poverty unless they’re white males.
  27. Encourages the repugnant practice of trophy hunting.
  28. Trump is Putin’s puppet – the first president believed to have won election  aided by a foreign power.
  29. Wants to destroy Social Security for seniors and disabled Americans.
  30. The first to mock and make fun of a disabled journalist
  31. Trump appointed Postal Service hater Louis DeJoy to head the USPS. With DeJoy in office, our mail arrives late in the day, if at all. The plan was to line his and wealthy supporter’s pockets with service outsource contracts by privatizing the Postal Service.
  32. The first candidate to advocate for the elimination of Obama Care, Medicare, and Medicaid, effectively making healthcare only for the rich, and the white.
  33. The first candidate who’s election speeches are more like a bad comedy act, threatening retribution and poking vicious “fun,” at the deep state, yet not once giving legitimate reasons to vote for him.
  34. Trump is supporting turning back time on women’s, LGBTQ, children’s, and minorities’ rights.
  35. The first to refuse to allow White House cleaning staff to clean specific areas of the WH, leading to a rodent infestation – of course, Trump is the biggest rat of all.
  36. Claimed victory for an election he didn’t win before all votes were counted – the first president to not concede their loss.
  37. Trump called soldiers “suckers” and “losers”, refusing to go to honor their ultimate sacrifice in WWII.
  38. His policies added nearly 8 trillion dollars to our national debt, the most by far of any president.
  39. Trump was impeached twice, the only president to be so distinguished.
  40. Also, the only president whose own party member voted for his impeachment conviction.
  41. Of all the presidents, he is the first to not sleep in the same bedroom as his wife.

(Thanks to Dan Kunz at the Coeur d’Alene/Post Falls Press for his article highlighting many of these inauspicious firsts.)

Be True Blue

It is imperative we vote blue – we need reelection for President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris; the alternative is unthinkable. Racism, sexism, and anti-Semitism are out of control in our nation. Once the orange haired monster got a taste of power, the floodgates of hate and insanity were opened wide, and it’s very difficult but not impossible to stop the storm. Should “The Donald” be elected for another term, things will be even worse than his first horrific term. Trump is out of control and we just need to send him a clear message that he will never enter the Oval Office (or any other part of the White House) again.

Hasn’t Got a Prayer

Franklin Graham (no stranger to scandal) is demanding we pray for Donald Trump, but he has no right demanding anything. This is the typical arrogant, lemming-like behavior of Trump’s supporters. I pray that the orange monster is convicted of the crimes that he committed and goes to prison. I pray our nation will be finally be rid of him, once and for all. Here are some ways to get involved and ride the blue wave:

  1. Offer to make election calls for Democrats.
  2. Donate what you can to the Democratic election efforts – if you can’t financially support campaigns, give of your time.
  3. Bumper stickers, yard signs, t-shirts, etc. – we can display these things for Democrats with far more dignity and class than MAGA’s in their red hats and gold metallic gym shoes.
  4. Offer your home for Democratic events such as meetings, watch parties, envelope stuffing, postcard writing, and so on.
  5. Don’t engage with MAGA’s – ignore the insanity they spew; it would be a battle of wits with an unarmed person. Let’s concentrate on a Democratic victory in November.
  6. Offer to transport people to the polls.
  7. Volunteer to register folks in your community to vote.
  8. Post on social media positive things that Democrats are doing, and the negative things Republicans are up to.
  9. VOTE!
  10. Do pray that President Biden and Vice President Harris are reelected, and the orange haired monster is convicted of his crimes.

We can do this, together and united we stand for democracy…

Resources: www.democrats.org, www.lincolnproject.us, www.facebook.com/p/Mary-L-Trump-100076207187060/, www.taylorswift.com.

 

No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?

No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?

 

Worry is my middle name and I have good reason to be worried

No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?

By D. S. Mitchell

 

Closet Worrier

I never considered myself a worrier; however I have  probably always been a closet worrier. I was the one that would call twice to confirm a reservation and of course I made sure that we always took two of everything (just in case). Now that I’m an elder, and retired, I have found an abundant amount of time to worry and an endless supply of issues to worry about. I have thrown off my shackles and emerged into the light as an admitted worrier.

Growing Louder

What used to be occasional whispers in my busy working mind have grown louder now that I am free of the time clock. I worry about the mutating COVID virus, and do I need another booster? I worry that I forgot to rotate my tires at 5,000 miles. When did I last check the air pressure, I fret. Did I remember to send my forever best friend from high school a card on her birthday? Then there’s climate change, and the rising ocean levels, Russian aggression in the Ukraine, the rape and murder of Israelis on 10/7,  the death of 33,000 Palestinian civilians in Gaza. And we can’t forget the threat of nukes in space, the Chinese on Mars, the speeding up of the Jet Streams, an alien invasion, an AI takeover, nuclear war, and the possibility of an asteroid impact. And what about all those conspiracy theories; are they all wrong; or just partly wrong? Will we ever find Jimmy Hoffa’s bones?

Did You Hear?

Did you see that there was a massive die off of honeybees in the United States in 2023, killing over 51% of the honeybee hives. Furthermore, in case you missed it on the news, the biggest iceberg in history is now floating somewhere in the open ocean south of Australia. I have at my disposal an endless spool of worry; replaying events over-and-over in my head; each exchanging their places in turn, as I worry about each new threat.

I Love Joe

I have recently begun transferring all of these concerns to an off planet storage facility-I think its called the cloud. I want to have plenty of space in my head for election year worries. Don’t misunderstand; there isn’t a single day that goes by that Joe Biden doesn’t prove he’s a better man than Donald Trump ever thought of being. Not one day of Donald Trump’s life, has he ever thought of anyone but himself. As General John Kelly confirmed, Trump “is the most flawed person (I’ve) ever met.” Unfortunately, for the United States, Trump is once again being allowed to run for president; and with the Electoral College system he could easily win.

Not Long Ago

There was a time in the recent past when a candidate for the highest office in our land was not a criminal, a grifter, or wanna-be tyrant; that was of course before Donald Trump came on the scene. Since Trump’s  emergence as a right wing demagogue he has been setting law breaking records; amazing even those who know him best. I realize there are many in the electorate who may have forgotten the list of outrages this one man crime wave has committed. For those amnesic individuals I offer Seth Meyers.

Early to Bed, Ready to Worry

I go to bed early, so, sadly, I miss all the late night comedy shows. But, this is 21st century America and I have YouTube. A recent Seth Meyer’s monologue turned up the heat on my worr-ia-tor. Listen folks, a quick review of the recent past is reason enough to worry about what criminal tactics Trump will use to guarantee his winning the 2024 election. That’s right, folks, I truly believe Trump and his crime associates will try to once again overthrow an election. That would be two in a row. The loss of public morality is shocking and should be a worry for all of us who haven’t been drinking the Kool-Aid or who aren’t looking for a Mango Mussolini to worship.

Seth Meyers Made a List

After coming out on top as the presumptive Republican nominee for president Trump was eviscerated by Late Night host, Seth Meyers. In a near two minute opening monologue, Meyers reeled off a list of outrageous things Donald Trump has done, or has been accused of doing.  Here in Seth’s own words: “Presumptive GOP nominee for president, again, for a third time, despite the fact he is a twice-impeached, four-time criminally indicted and racist who’s been found liable for fraud and sexual abuse. Banned from doing business in the state of New York for three years. Owes over half a billion dollars in fines and judgments. Took millions from foreign governments while he was president. Tried to extort a foreign country to interfere in the 2016 election and encouraged another to help him win in 2020.”

No Stopping Him

Meyers, however, did not stop there. Trump “actively undermined our nation’s response to a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic and let a deadly disease spiral out of control. (He) is about to go on trial for breaking campaign finance laws by paying hush money to cover up an affair during the 2016 campaign. He orchestrated a months-long coup attempt that culminated in a violent insurrection to disrupt the peaceful transfer of power and install him as an unelected dictator. (Trump) stole classified documents and obstructed attempts to get them back. (The man) has never won the popular vote and has been routinely rejected by a majority of Americans in election after election.”

There’s More?

At this point you may think Meyers had covered it all, but that’s when he reminds us of many other bizarre Trump moments. Meyers called Trump “the single weirdest, most off-putting human being on the face of the f****** planet. Trump spews deranged conspiracy theories about everything from climate change to immigration, from vaccines to windmills. Stumbles on three syllable words, two-syllable words and one-syllable words, cheats at golf, calls our dead soldiers suckers and losers, forgets who he’s running against.” At this point, Seth brings up a screen in the studio displaying  examples of Trump’s spelling errors.  “(He) can’t spell his own name, his wife’s name (or even remember it), the words “indicted,” “education,” “unprecedented,” stolen,” “Denmark,” “Kentucky” or “tap,” all spelled wrong, and many more.

Gamer Vocabulary

Myer’s summed up Trump in the following manner, “I’m sorry, but this guy is not a real person, he’s a glitching, (stumbling) NPC from a video game,” Meyers declared. **For the non-gamers out there; Seth’s reference to “NPC” (“Non-Player Character”) is used by him as a metaphor to describe someone he perceives as lacking independent thought.

 

Its Disgusting and Shocking

I worry that any group of people that would support a criminal and insurrectionist as their presidential candidate are likely to break any and all laws to get him back into the White House. Perhaps even “terminate the Constitution.” Bad actors, like Iran, Russia, China, and North Korea are lining up to run misinformation campaigns against Biden and the Dems. Sounds like criminals and thugs sticking together. The fact that the Republican Party is willing to hand over power to a man of  such obvious low character as Donald Trump is both outrageous, and demoralizing. Make no mistake the GOP will be running a ‘dictator for life’ candidate not a presidential candidate.

****

If you want to see the original Seth Meyers rant go to YouTube and put in Trump crimes-Seth Meyers on the search bar and you can watch Seth eviscerate Trump in a two minute rant. Everything he says is alarming and we should all be worried as hell.

And What About Bigfoot?

And What About Bigfoot?

Are the sightings real or manufactured?

Bigfoot is a legend in the Pacific Northwest. A similar creature has been seen around the world and goes by a variety of names.

 

Is Bigfoot Real or Manufactured?

By D.S. Mitchell

A NW Childhood

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest so I’ve been hearing about Bigfoot since I was a kid along with the legend of the notorious skyjacker, D.B. Cooper. More than most other stories these two have ignited the imaginations of people, not just in my area, but all over the world. As far as D.B. Cooper goes, I think it was the boldness of the crime and the fact that he got away with a bunch of cash and was never caught. An amazing 20th century story of a man who seemingly beat the system.

Mysterious Creatures

Bigfoot, a legendary half man half ape creature is, I believe, more about humanities need to believe in magic and the mysteries of the unknown. I think it’s the same reason conspiracy theories are so popular.  Much like Scotland’s Loch Ness Monster, there is not a single iota of evidence showing that Bigfoot or Nessie are real. No bodies, no bones, no hair, no skin, no DNA; nothing, absolutely nothing, except a few giant footprints and a couple cheezy photos and a grainy video.

Basic Biology

From basic biology it seems that if a population were large enough to propagate it is unlikely, considering their enormous size, that any of these creatures could go undiscovered by scientists, certainly not any band or group of them. I would say the whole thing is impossible. However, many people are fascinated by the possibility of a mythic creature, living wild and free in many isolated parts of the world. Jane Goodall famed anthropologist and conservationist, once said of Bigfoot, “I want to believe.”

Footprints in the Mud

On August 27, 1958 a logging company employee, Jerry Crew, reported having found gigantic foot prints in the mud close to Bluff Creek in northern California while he was clearing brush and stumps near the creek. Several of Jerry’s co-workers also reported seeing mammoth footprints in the area. The news of “Bigfoot” was published in the Sunday edition of the Humboldt Times and the phenomenon known as Bigfoot was born.

Flash Forward

In 2002 one of Crew’s co-workers, a fellow named Ray Wallace, died at the age of 84. It was then that his children revealed he had carved a pair of giant wooden feet and had stomped around the Bluff Creek area leaving the mysterious tracks way back in 1958. “It was just a joke,” they told the press. When news of the hoax hit the airwaves Bigfoot believers barely batted an eye. Despite pranks, hoaxes, and other shenanigans the enthusiasts will not be dissuaded. In fact, there is more interest today than ever before.

One Big Guy  

The most famous suspected hoax came nearly ten years after Wallace’s 1958 prank. Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin produced a 59 second film showing a huge ape like creature walking around the Bluff Creek site identified in 1958. The 1967 film was later identified as a hoax when costume manufacturer, Philip Morris, claimed he had sold Patterson the gorilla suit and even introduced the overly large man who had tromped around in the costume for the camera, to the press.

Hoaxes and Tall Tales

A  prospector named Albert Ostman came forward in the midst of the excitement and told a hair raising story of being abducted from his campsite and forced to live with a Bigfoot family for six days until he escaped. Then in 2008, two Georgia men announced they had found the corpse of a Bigfoot in the Georgia mountains, but after a media frenzy it was discovered the men had bought a Bigfoot costume and filled it with road kill and animal entrails. It seems that the Bigfoot legend is fertile soil for pranksters and scammers.

Conclusion

There is even a Bigfoot Field Research Organization (BFRO) that keeps records of Bigfoot sightings around the United States. There are more than 5,000 “credible” Bigfoot sightings from every state except Hawaii. More than a third of those sightings coming from the Pacific Northwest. Serious researchers plotted Bigfoot sightings and found they correlated roughly to the American black bear’s habitat. Black bears can look frightfully tall and humanlike, it was noted, when standing upright on their back legs. Interesting theory, but most people ignore the science because they want to believe, just like Jane Goodall, that Bigfoot is real.