Category: Humor

You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age

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HUMOR: You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age

Humor: A Woman of a certain age

HUMOR:

You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age…

By Anna Hessel

Barbie Blast From The Past

Well, ladies, I’ve been thinking a lot about women of a certain age.  What if we had Barbies to represent our generation:

  • Woman of a Certain Age Barbie – comes with a portable fan, itsy-bitsy tweezers, wrinkle cream, fashionable bifocals, AARP card, and a Dream Condo in a senior high rise. Pull a string and she has a hot flash.  This Barbie sports a few gray hairs in her blond tresses, maybe some stretch marks, fine lines, plastic cellulite (perhaps includes a tiny loofah and CQ-10 cream?), and her tatas are a bit lower.  Silver Fox Ken with grey at the temples and a middle-age crisis convertible, sold separately…
  • Botox Barbie – nothing’s different, her expression is still frozen…
  • Direct Marketing Maven Barbie – comes with BB cream samples and a pink Cadillac…
  • Journalist Barbie – comes with a tiny newspaper, folded to her favorite writer (I wonder who that would be?)…
You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age…

All this talk of dolls brings thoughts of youthful memories from back in the day…

  • If you can remember crisp brown plaid dresses with Peter Pan collars and decorative buttons, purchased specifically for the first day of classes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you can remember black patent Mary Janes, complete with white lace trim socks, and the blisters that accompanied them, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you went back to school sporting a summer tan from laying out in the backyard, courtesy of baby oil mixed with iodine, sipping a Tab in a webbed lounge chair beside a boom box, hair highlighted by Sun In, featuring oversize Foster Grants, and a wicker tote bag filled with a splash bottle of Jean Nate, a strawberry-flavored Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker, and a striped beach towel (mine was pink and white), you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you faced the first day of high school attired in Sergio Valente jeans and a ruffled blouse, resplendent with Great Lash mascara, Candie’s clogs, and a mood ring, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you put away your white shoes and purses after Labor Day, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you own a Wonder Bra and wonder what to do with it, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you have ever thrown a Wonder Bra at Englebert Humperdinck or Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you can remember the television going off late at night to the playing of our national anthem, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever ironed your hair with a small appliance made for clothes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever used a Maybelline Kissing Potion rollerball, bubble gum flavor, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you call your nail tech a manicurist, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever used Jolene bleach, shaved your legs with a Flicker, or wore pantyhose from an egg, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever did a basic set with pink sponge curlers, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know what Dippity Do did, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever wore strawberry or lemon perfume, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever wore a wide-legged jumpsuit with a puka shell necklace and platform shoes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you own an original lava lamp and beaded curtain, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know what Mr. Whipple squeezed, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know that Charlie is a fragrance by Revlon, not just a faceless gentleman from a popular TV show about three angels, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who the Tidy Bowl Man is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you are of the opinion that Spanx is just another name for a girdle, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who “Marsha Marsha Marsha” is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you think regenerative hydration therapy serum is just a fancy name for a face cream, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you buy every wrinkle cream promising results in a week and you still look the same, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who Bobby Sherman is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you look forward to commercials featuring Tom Selleck and Joe Namath, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If your favorite TV shows have commercials for Medicare Advantage plans and you can remember when the episodes first aired, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you fall asleep during those commercials, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you call the paramedics and expect Bobby Sherman, Randy Mantooth, and Kevin Tighe to show up, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you think Rick Springfield, Henry Winkler, Billy Dee Williams, Danny Glover, Anson Williams, Billy Dean, Barry Williams, John Stamos, Erik Estrada, Patrick Stuart, Jeff Foxworthy, and President Biden are still sexy, you may be a woman of a certain age (and have excellent taste in real men)…
  • If your dream car is a Mercury Cougar or you just are a cougar, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If your idea of a wild Saturday night is a “Golden Girls” marathon, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who Bobby Sherman is, you might be a woman of a certain age… (Did I already say this?)
  • If you need those designer Depends while reading this, you might be a woman of a certain age… (and I did my job right…)

Ladies of a certain age, we may forget where we left our car keys or grocery list, our eyebrows might be over-tweezed, our bottoms may be a bit lower, but we will always have unique style…

*I’d like to say a special thank you to my favorite comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who was the inspiration for this article.

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2020/09/13/humor-abolishing-age-appropriate-attire/

 

 

Benefits Of Working From Home

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There are numerous financial benefits from working from home

Benefits Of Remote Work

D. S. Mitchell

Pandemic Adjustments

The vision of going to work has changed for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Working from home may continue for many workers as we move out of the pandemic and back to normalcy. A Harvard Business School study reported that more than one third of the companies surveyed believed that post-pandemic work environment will include an increase in remote work.

Savings Coming

The shift to at-home work can have long term positive financial advantages. Such possible benefits could include such things as:

  1. Reduced transportation costs. Over even a short time you can spend a lot of money commuting back and forth to the work place. The average commuter typically spends $2,000 to $5,000 annually. This includes gas, car maintenance, public transportation costs and other related costs according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
  2. Lower insurance premiums. Auto insurance premiums are partially based on miles driven. If you no longer travel from home to work and back again you should potentially save money.
  3. Lower lunch costs. Eating at restaurants, or visiting coffee shops while at work can add up fast. It is easy to imagine saving $50 to $100 per week by working from home.
  4. Lower clothing costs. I’m not suggesting you work in your skivvies but there are definitely ways to relax your wardrobe when working from home. Not to mention reducing laundry and dry cleaning expenses.
  5. Lower child care costs. Child care costs can be high. Working from home should reduce those expenses dramatically.
  6. Increased time. Working from home can save hours of time spent on the bus, train, subway or in your car. Spend it recklessly or wisely it’s your choice, but working from home should give you more of it.

It is not hard to imagine saving as much as $5,000 each year by working from home. If this new phenomenon becomes the norm you should think about saving or investing this potential windfall.  Edward Jones suggests two possibilities to make the most of this extra money. One, build an emergency fund containing at least one year of emergency cash. Two, an IRA or a similar employer-sponsored plan could provide an approximate $97,000 ($2,500) to $200,000 ($5,000) after 20 years at 6% interest.

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2019/10/16/energy-saving-tips-that-cost-nothing/

 

HUMOR: Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day Humor

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love

Valentine’s Day Humor

By Anna Hessel

The Wonder Years

The cold days of February bring thoughts of one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day.  Some of my fondest memories involve Valentine’s fun.  We all remember when we were growing up getting those tiny Valentines in their little white envelopes placed in a big wooden box on the teacher’s desk.  Each year my miniature Valentines had a different theme: puppies, kittens, Barbie, and of course, princess.  My earliest Valentine’s memory is my kindergarten campaign to provide trousers for that little guy with the bow and arrow, since it was cold outside.   Those timeless teddy bears with pink and red bows, and heart-shaped boxes of candy covered in ruffles, bring back many teenage memories.

Flying Hearts ACA

Of course, I have a few specific Valentine’s memories: one in particular was actually after Valentine’s Day: I snatched up all the clearance conversation Sweetheart candies as I had just won the Miss American Sweetheart Pageant, and decided tossing boxes of stale Sweethearts during summer parades was a classy thing to do – this idea was short-lived, however, thanks to that guy on the corner with the sunglasses on his head.  I’m still amazed at how far a pair of shades can travel when they come in contact with an airborne box of conversation hearts.

Gourmet Jewelry

My favorite Valentine’s memory was when my husband and I were found by an adorable black terrier in our condo parking lot on a particularly cold Valentine’s Day.  We named him Cupid, and he was a part of our family for over 17 years.  In more recent times, Valentine’s Day has been celebrated by my spouse’s penchant for hiding expensive jewelry in food.  My first diamond cocktail ring arrived in a dish of carrots because it was a “1 carat” ring.  My engagement ring was presented, much to the delight of the charming waitress at Red Lobster, in a plate of mussels – my husband’s theory was since pearls come in oysters, diamonds can come in mussels.

Ladyfingers

Another diamond ring embedded in Tiramisu (ladyfingers…) appeared at our favorite Italian restaurant.  A sapphire ring came atop a cupcake; my diamond and sapphire wedding set was encased in a miniature pink gumball machine.  Hmm, I wonder what I’ll find topping our heart-shaped pizza this year (hint, hint…).  Fortunately, I never broke a tooth on or ingested any of these gifts so I don’t have any trips to the emergency room stories to share.

Can He Take a Hint?

Now if your significant other isn’t a foodie romantic, and you don’t receive bracelets or earrings in side dishes or desserts, then perhaps a few well-placed hints will get you the goodies you desire this Valentine’s Day.  If you do seek something sparkly, put a jewelry catalog in his toolbox.  Or if you’re like me, a gift certificate for a mani-pedi is a perfect present – I suggest placing a flyer from your favorite salon in his sock drawer.

Don’t Forget The TV Remote

If a romantic dinner is on your wish list, wrap coupons from a favorite place to dine out around a six-pack of beer and secure it with a pink ribbon.  My personal favorite hint, sure to work every time, is to tape a business card from the local flower shop on the TV remote control – he’ll never miss that.  No matter how you end up celebrating, may your Valentine’s Day be blessed with style…

HUMOR: 25 Reasons To Smile

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take a minute and enjoy 25 reasons to smile

HUMOR: 25 Reasons To Smile

By D.S. Mitchell

Back At the Computer

I am back at the computer making my second post to my Calamity Politics blog, today.  Before I started this blog, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough to scream about, but I’m finding that I could probably do half a dozen posts a day related to the misinformation flooding the ether.  But I thought, before I start my rant on the collapse of Western Civilization I should deliver something positive and uplifting.

So, dear hearts here are twenty-five things to make you smile:

  1. Touching toes in the sand
  2. Sunsets over water
  3. Wraparound sunglasses
  4. The Science channel
  5. Kite flying contests
  6. The Muppets
  7. Astronauts
  8. Blowing the wrapper off the straw
  9. Winning at Monopoly
  10. A dog’s cold nose on your hand
  11. Barhopping
  12. Old jeans that fit just right
  13. Your lover’s voice
  14. The clatter of skis being loaded
  15. The rumble of a train as it passes
  16. Walking in the rain
  17. The imagination of a six year old
  18. Margaritas at midnight
  19. Finishing the Sunday crossword without cheating
  20. A morning walk
  21. The smell of a new car
  22. Roller skating
  23. Your First grade teacher
  24. A sexy book
  25. Daddy’s smile

I know this Saturday distraction did little to take your mind off the continuing implosion of the Republican Party. My Lord, a large share of these folks sound totally crazy, out-and-out bigots, or radicalized MAGA’s. These people seized the capitol. They were incited for months by Donald Trump in his attempt to overturn an election he knew he had lost.  We watched it on television.  Convict the traitorous SOB. Sorry. I wanted to forget politics for a few minutes.

 

OPINION: Jonathan Pie Says Goodbye

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OPINION: Jonathan Pie Says Goodbye 

HUMOR:  Jonathan Pie Says Goodbye To Donald Trump

T.K. McNeil suggested this great Goodbye rant from YouTube by Jonathan Pie. Jonathan says everything I have ever thought about Donald Trump, plus some I never thought of. One hell of a rant. It is the best goodbye, good riddance speech you will ever hear. Check out Jonathan’s YouTube channel and subscribe. Enjoy. DSM

 

OPINION: First Ladies of Style

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OPINION: First Ladies Of Style

The First Lady is a style inspiration in the United States and around the world.

 

*Anna Hessel loves fashion. Anna wanted to write about our incredible array of fashionable and not so fashionable First Ladies. Her first article for the new year focuses on this cavalcade of stylish women. The incoming Biden-Harris administration is going to make history. The first woman Vice President Kamala Harris is an empowering image of the most diverse presidential administration in history.  2021 is going to be in part about breaking the glass ceiling. Go Team Biden-Harris. Enjoy. DSM

 

First Ladies of Style

By Anna Hessel

First in Style

For centuries, American women have looked to our presidents’ wives for style inspiration.  Of course, now we also have a female VP, Kamala Harris, with a unique look all of her own.  Dolley Payne Todd Madison is considered to be the first of the First Ladies, even though Martha Washington and Abigail Adams preceded her – they were then just called, “the President’s wife”.  She served as a hostess for Thomas Jefferson’s presidency, along with his daughter Martha.  Jefferson’s wife Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson passed away before he took office.  She is said to have been physically weakened by the bodily strain of numerous pregnancies.  Mr. Jefferson, at his wife’s request, never remarried.  Dolley Madison was an enormous help to him during his presidency.

Dolley In

She easily stepped into the First Lady role when her husband James Madison was elected president, serving from 1809 to 1817.  Dolley, a former Quaker, was thrilled to finally be able to wear high fashion attire.  Her inaugural gown of buff velvet worn with pearl bracelets was loved by the press of the time, securing her place in fashion history.  Mrs. Madison had a penchant for turbans and French style.  She was known for always carrying a book and having a colorful tropical bird as a beloved pet.  Dolley defined so many of the roles of the First Lady and White House conventions, including the State Dinner and the Easter Egg hunt.  A blue-eyed beauty, she has also been credited with introducing ice cream to the ‘President’s Mansion.’

Lincoln Togs

Although most historical records refer to her as Mary Todd Lincoln, she did not use her maiden name “Todd” after she married Abraham.  Rumor has it the Lincoln’s wedding cake was still warm when they cut it.  At 5’ 2”, Mrs. Lincoln was a petite powerhouse of style, preferring to wear flowers on her clothing and in her hair.  She was said to have once forced a former beau to wear a circle of flowers that she was fashioning upon his head for a walk around the square.  Mary was a stunningly beautiful and genteel First Lady from 1861-1865. She however was frequently criticized for buying and wearing extravagantly expensive ball gowns during the Civil War.

Taft And Teddy

From March 4th, 1909, to March 4th, 1913, Hellen Herron Taft served as First Lady.  Educated at the University of Cincinnati, Mrs. Taft stylishly wore tall floral brimmed hats, elegant gowns with frothy and billowing wraps, and even carried a fan.  She was followed by the first Mrs. Roosevelt, Edith, the second wife of President Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt, for whom “Teddy bears” were named.  The adorable bears  were dubbed by a Brooklyn candy shop owner, with Roosevelt’s permission, in honor of an incident during a famous hunting trip the President took in 1902.  “Teddy” had refused to shoot a bear that hunting guides had corralled and tied to a tree.  While Teddy was running about the backwoods in hunting duds Edith delighted the fashion conscious women of the country with large hats and lots of lace.

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Twelve Days of Christmas COVID-19 Style

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Twelve Days of Christmas, COVID-19 Style

12 days of Christmas covid version

The Twelve Days of Christmas,

COVID-19 Style

By Anna Hessel

The First Day

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Second Day

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two rolls of two-ply toilet paper, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Third Day

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French maids to disinfect my home, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Fourth Day

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Fifth Day

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden rings, because a girl must remain accessorized even in a pandemic; four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Sixth Day

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings, four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Seventh Day

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven face masks embroidered with the different days of the week, six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings, four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Eighth Day

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eight more maids with disinfectant, seven days of face masks, six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings, four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Ninth Day

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: nine ladies dancing six feet apart, eight more maids with disinfectant, seven days of face masks, six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings, four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Tenth Day

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten lords social distancing, nine ladies dancing six feet apart, eight more maids with disinfectant, seven days of face masks, six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings, four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Eleventh Day

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eleven pipers piping on Zoom, ten lords social distancing, nine ladies dancing six feet apart, eight more maids with disinfectant, seven days of face masks, six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings, four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

The Twelfth Day

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: $1200 stimulus check that was never from Donald Trump, eleven Zooming pipers, ten lords social distancing, nine ladies dancing six feet apart, eight more maids with disinfectant, seven days of face masks, six sprays of Lysol, five golden rings; four virtual video calls, three French maids, two rolls of two-ply, and a tea tree oil hand sanitizer.

God Bless and Wear Your Mask

Seasons greetings and happy holidays!  Wise men and women the globe over still seek peace.  May we never forget the reason we celebrate this season, and the good Lord’s present to us all.  May the coming year be better for humanity, with the gift of a Biden-Harris presidency.  God bless and don’t forget to wear your mask in public…

The “Real” Twelve Days of Christmas

The “Real” Twelve Days of Christmas

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The “Real” Twelve Days of Christmas

The “Real” Twelve Days of Christmas

By Anna Hessel

I figured we could all use some humor this holiday season; this Christmas will be a bit different.  We had to rearrange our living room to accommodate the tree and social distancing.  Sort of a pandemic feng-shui, you might say.

The First Day

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree…  A most unusual gift but I do love fruit and the little birdie is pretty cute, too; I am logging onto the Food Network Kitchen site for a tasty pear tart recipe.  Perhaps birdseed included in the lovely present would have made sense…

The Second Day

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…two turtle doves and another partridge in a pear tree.  Perhaps my dear true love did not realize that turtle doves and partridges don’t get along, who knew?  And still I have received no birdseed from my dear one.  The partridges pecked at my fingers when I decided to choose a pear for lunch – maybe they are possessive of the pears because they lack birdseed.

The Third Day

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…three French hens, two more turtle doves, and yet another partridge in a pear tree…  Apparently, my dearest true love is most fond of fowl.  Still no damn birdseed, and apparently French hens do not care for pears…

The Fourth Day

On the fourth day of Christmas, my “true” love gave to me…four rather noisy calling birds, another three of those blasted French hens, two more turtle doves, and still another of those ridiculous fruit-bearing trees containing another partridge; my apartment resembles the aviary house at the zoo.  Birdseed, where the hell is the birdseed?

The Fifth Day

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true “love” finally bought some damn jewelry, five lovely golden rings, none of which even remotely resembles an engagement ring in any way, all five of which turned my fingers green; of course, included with the cheap mass merchandiser rings, my alleged true love included another pear tree with of course an additional partridge, another couple of the turtle doves, thrice more of the ill-mannered hens and, of course, four of the calling birds, who make me want to call the local bird refuge.  I injured my ankle ducking the flying menagerie when I returned home from Walmart, where I exchanged the five rings for birdseed…

The Sixth Day

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true like gave to me…even more freaking birds, six geese a-laying eggs in every square inch of my living room; I would love to give my true “love” a goose egg.  As if I don’t have enough of them, four more calling birds, three more French hens, two more turtle doves, and even another big tall, gangly a$$, pear tree with, yep, you guessed it, a partridge.  I have invited the local bird watchers society to tea – perhaps they would like to each choose a bird to take home, gratis….

The Seventh Day

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true “friend” gave to me…what else, more feathered friends, not a lovely gift basket containing a bath bomb and fragranced lotion, like the ones mocking me as I stand in line buying more birdseed at Walmart; nope this time, in addition to another blasted tree, more hens, calling birds, doves, and one more partridge, I am the “blessed” recipient of seven swans that are a-swimming in my bathtub – perhaps this is why I have yet to receive a moisturizing bath bomb.  Certainly an extra-strength lavender air freshener, or even a pumpkin spice room spray, would be most welcome in here…

The Eighth Day

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true acquaintance gave to me…the entire gaggle of birds, another tree, and eight much needed maids to clean the bird droppings and smashed pears from my carpet.  But noooo, these alleged maids came to milk the eight adorable goats eating up my lawn; has my true “love” never heard of Hickory Farms?  A mini summer sausage and a cheddar cheese wheel would be lovely with all these pears and did I mention, goose is on the menu this Christmas?  I wonder, can French hens be served with a pear stuffing and creme fraiche glaze?

The Ninth Day

On the ninth day of Christmas, that guy gave to me…on top of the nine ladies disco dancing in my kitchen, eight more useless maids, more golden rings to exchange for birdseed, more assorted birds, and another freaking tree…..perhaps I shall break up with my true “love”…

The Tenth Day

On the tenth day of Christmas, my frenemy gave to me…yep, you guessed it, another flock of birds, more maids that don’t clean a thing, additional dancehall divas, the requisite fruit tree, and now there are ten men in tights jumping all over my home – one of them has a turtle dove on his head and another knocked over two pear trees and a lamp.  Maybe a membership at the local zoo would have been more conducive?

The Eleventh Day

On the eleventh day of Christmas, that idiot gave to me…the entire lot of birds, maids, more divas of the dance, leaping lords, another tree, and if it wasn’t noisy enough in here, we now have eleven pipers piping – perhaps a subscription to an online dating service would have been a much more welcome gift…

The Twelfth Day

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true enemy gave to me…yet another pear tree, the entire collection of flying friends, more useless maids, and other plethora of pitiful pipers, dancing divas, and lords a-leaping.  Thus far these clumsy oafs have broken another lamp, a vase, and the one pear tree that I had strung with Christmas lights.  Included in this final round of the worst assemblage of Christmas gifts in the history of holiday giving, I now have twelve drummers drumming adding to the deafening racket in here.  My couch is covered in bird droppings and green fruit.

And More..

My cat has a suspicious hen feather in her mouth.  I have received a citation from the city for an excessive animal population.  My landlord has served me an additional pet deposit demand.  The leaping lords have run off with the milk maids, leaving me with a yard of goats, one of which is chasing my Chihuahua, and another just ate my porch furniture.  Along with a squawking array of birds are rotting fruit trees and a migraine the size of Texas.  I am considering a holiday restraining order.  Next time my “true” love had better go to Jared.

 

OPINION: While Trump Moves Out, Let’s Smile

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Time we stopped and smiled

OPINION:

While Trump Moves Out, Let’s Smile

D. S. Mitchell

While Donald Trump continues to fight the 2020 election results he is taking on the Republicans as well as the Democrats. There are plenty of us grabbing our pearls and wondering if he is going to be able to pull off his intended coup. I am praying he and his allies fail. But, I am not convinced. His behavior has become a national outrage. You LOST stupid. Move on. For God’s sakes, the state of Georgia has now counted and certified the election result three times! The American people told Trump in  a big way, “We are done with you. Goodbye. Get lost.”

As we kick Trump out of the people’s house we might want to come up with a few things to smile about, cause the next couple weeks are probably going to get dirtier and uglier than the last four years.  Here’s 35 good reason to smile while we watch as the U-Haul trucks load up the Orange Golfer’s personal affects.

1.) Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade cook book series  2.) “Doing” lunch  3.) Blowing bubbles  4.) Saturday night Roller Derby  5.) Popeye cartoons  6.) Aquariums  7.) Tug boats  8.) Winning 9.) Tootsie Roll Pops  10.) Costco food samples  11.) Fitted sheets  12.) Window seats  13.) Spa Day  14.) KoolAid  15.) A freshly sharpened pencil  16.) Chasing rainbows  17.) Day hikes  18.) NASA 19.) Birdhouses 20.) Caves  21.)  Beach bonfires  22.) Song birds  23.) Hot fudge sundaes  24.) Balconies  25.) Gymnastics  26.) Playing Frisbee with the dog  27.) Windsurfing the Columbia Gorge 28.) Clam Chowder in a bread bowl  29.) The shape of water 30.) Indian summer  31.) Hot tea  32.) Wishing on a star  33.) Baskets of Geraniums  34.) Toddler’s in snowsuits  35.) Secret family recipes.

I’m happy now. Hope you found something to smile about. I pray this will all be over soon and all we will see is Trump’s diapered ass in our rearview mirror.

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2017/10/08/29-things-to-make-you-smile/