Category: Culture

You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age

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HUMOR: You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age

Humor: A Woman of a certain age

HUMOR:

You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age…

By Anna Hessel

Barbie Blast From The Past

Well, ladies, I’ve been thinking a lot about women of a certain age.  What if we had Barbies to represent our generation:

  • Woman of a Certain Age Barbie – comes with a portable fan, itsy-bitsy tweezers, wrinkle cream, fashionable bifocals, AARP card, and a Dream Condo in a senior high rise. Pull a string and she has a hot flash.  This Barbie sports a few gray hairs in her blond tresses, maybe some stretch marks, fine lines, plastic cellulite (perhaps includes a tiny loofah and CQ-10 cream?), and her tatas are a bit lower.  Silver Fox Ken with grey at the temples and a middle-age crisis convertible, sold separately…
  • Botox Barbie – nothing’s different, her expression is still frozen…
  • Direct Marketing Maven Barbie – comes with BB cream samples and a pink Cadillac…
  • Journalist Barbie – comes with a tiny newspaper, folded to her favorite writer (I wonder who that would be?)…
You Might Be a Woman of a Certain Age…

All this talk of dolls brings thoughts of youthful memories from back in the day…

  • If you can remember crisp brown plaid dresses with Peter Pan collars and decorative buttons, purchased specifically for the first day of classes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you can remember black patent Mary Janes, complete with white lace trim socks, and the blisters that accompanied them, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you went back to school sporting a summer tan from laying out in the backyard, courtesy of baby oil mixed with iodine, sipping a Tab in a webbed lounge chair beside a boom box, hair highlighted by Sun In, featuring oversize Foster Grants, and a wicker tote bag filled with a splash bottle of Jean Nate, a strawberry-flavored Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker, and a striped beach towel (mine was pink and white), you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you faced the first day of high school attired in Sergio Valente jeans and a ruffled blouse, resplendent with Great Lash mascara, Candie’s clogs, and a mood ring, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you put away your white shoes and purses after Labor Day, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you own a Wonder Bra and wonder what to do with it, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you have ever thrown a Wonder Bra at Englebert Humperdinck or Tom Jones, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you can remember the television going off late at night to the playing of our national anthem, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever ironed your hair with a small appliance made for clothes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever used a Maybelline Kissing Potion rollerball, bubble gum flavor, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you call your nail tech a manicurist, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever used Jolene bleach, shaved your legs with a Flicker, or wore pantyhose from an egg, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever did a basic set with pink sponge curlers, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know what Dippity Do did, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever wore strawberry or lemon perfume, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you ever wore a wide-legged jumpsuit with a puka shell necklace and platform shoes, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you own an original lava lamp and beaded curtain, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know what Mr. Whipple squeezed, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know that Charlie is a fragrance by Revlon, not just a faceless gentleman from a popular TV show about three angels, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who the Tidy Bowl Man is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you are of the opinion that Spanx is just another name for a girdle, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who “Marsha Marsha Marsha” is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you think regenerative hydration therapy serum is just a fancy name for a face cream, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you buy every wrinkle cream promising results in a week and you still look the same, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who Bobby Sherman is, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you look forward to commercials featuring Tom Selleck and Joe Namath, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If your favorite TV shows have commercials for Medicare Advantage plans and you can remember when the episodes first aired, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you fall asleep during those commercials, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you call the paramedics and expect Bobby Sherman, Randy Mantooth, and Kevin Tighe to show up, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you think Rick Springfield, Henry Winkler, Billy Dee Williams, Danny Glover, Anson Williams, Billy Dean, Barry Williams, John Stamos, Erik Estrada, Patrick Stuart, Jeff Foxworthy, and President Biden are still sexy, you may be a woman of a certain age (and have excellent taste in real men)…
  • If your dream car is a Mercury Cougar or you just are a cougar, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If your idea of a wild Saturday night is a “Golden Girls” marathon, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  • If you know who Bobby Sherman is, you might be a woman of a certain age… (Did I already say this?)
  • If you need those designer Depends while reading this, you might be a woman of a certain age… (and I did my job right…)

Ladies of a certain age, we may forget where we left our car keys or grocery list, our eyebrows might be over-tweezed, our bottoms may be a bit lower, but we will always have unique style…

*I’d like to say a special thank you to my favorite comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who was the inspiration for this article.

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2020/09/13/humor-abolishing-age-appropriate-attire/

 

 

Benefits Of Working From Home

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There are numerous financial benefits from working from home

Benefits Of Remote Work

D. S. Mitchell

Pandemic Adjustments

The vision of going to work has changed for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Working from home may continue for many workers as we move out of the pandemic and back to normalcy. A Harvard Business School study reported that more than one third of the companies surveyed believed that post-pandemic work environment will include an increase in remote work.

Savings Coming

The shift to at-home work can have long term positive financial advantages. Such possible benefits could include such things as:

  1. Reduced transportation costs. Over even a short time you can spend a lot of money commuting back and forth to the work place. The average commuter typically spends $2,000 to $5,000 annually. This includes gas, car maintenance, public transportation costs and other related costs according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
  2. Lower insurance premiums. Auto insurance premiums are partially based on miles driven. If you no longer travel from home to work and back again you should potentially save money.
  3. Lower lunch costs. Eating at restaurants, or visiting coffee shops while at work can add up fast. It is easy to imagine saving $50 to $100 per week by working from home.
  4. Lower clothing costs. I’m not suggesting you work in your skivvies but there are definitely ways to relax your wardrobe when working from home. Not to mention reducing laundry and dry cleaning expenses.
  5. Lower child care costs. Child care costs can be high. Working from home should reduce those expenses dramatically.
  6. Increased time. Working from home can save hours of time spent on the bus, train, subway or in your car. Spend it recklessly or wisely it’s your choice, but working from home should give you more of it.

It is not hard to imagine saving as much as $5,000 each year by working from home. If this new phenomenon becomes the norm you should think about saving or investing this potential windfall.  Edward Jones suggests two possibilities to make the most of this extra money. One, build an emergency fund containing at least one year of emergency cash. Two, an IRA or a similar employer-sponsored plan could provide an approximate $97,000 ($2,500) to $200,000 ($5,000) after 20 years at 6% interest.

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2019/10/16/energy-saving-tips-that-cost-nothing/

 

HUMOR: Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day Humor

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love

Valentine’s Day Humor

By Anna Hessel

The Wonder Years

The cold days of February bring thoughts of one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day.  Some of my fondest memories involve Valentine’s fun.  We all remember when we were growing up getting those tiny Valentines in their little white envelopes placed in a big wooden box on the teacher’s desk.  Each year my miniature Valentines had a different theme: puppies, kittens, Barbie, and of course, princess.  My earliest Valentine’s memory is my kindergarten campaign to provide trousers for that little guy with the bow and arrow, since it was cold outside.   Those timeless teddy bears with pink and red bows, and heart-shaped boxes of candy covered in ruffles, bring back many teenage memories.

Flying Hearts ACA

Of course, I have a few specific Valentine’s memories: one in particular was actually after Valentine’s Day: I snatched up all the clearance conversation Sweetheart candies as I had just won the Miss American Sweetheart Pageant, and decided tossing boxes of stale Sweethearts during summer parades was a classy thing to do – this idea was short-lived, however, thanks to that guy on the corner with the sunglasses on his head.  I’m still amazed at how far a pair of shades can travel when they come in contact with an airborne box of conversation hearts.

Gourmet Jewelry

My favorite Valentine’s memory was when my husband and I were found by an adorable black terrier in our condo parking lot on a particularly cold Valentine’s Day.  We named him Cupid, and he was a part of our family for over 17 years.  In more recent times, Valentine’s Day has been celebrated by my spouse’s penchant for hiding expensive jewelry in food.  My first diamond cocktail ring arrived in a dish of carrots because it was a “1 carat” ring.  My engagement ring was presented, much to the delight of the charming waitress at Red Lobster, in a plate of mussels – my husband’s theory was since pearls come in oysters, diamonds can come in mussels.

Ladyfingers

Another diamond ring embedded in Tiramisu (ladyfingers…) appeared at our favorite Italian restaurant.  A sapphire ring came atop a cupcake; my diamond and sapphire wedding set was encased in a miniature pink gumball machine.  Hmm, I wonder what I’ll find topping our heart-shaped pizza this year (hint, hint…).  Fortunately, I never broke a tooth on or ingested any of these gifts so I don’t have any trips to the emergency room stories to share.

Can He Take a Hint?

Now if your significant other isn’t a foodie romantic, and you don’t receive bracelets or earrings in side dishes or desserts, then perhaps a few well-placed hints will get you the goodies you desire this Valentine’s Day.  If you do seek something sparkly, put a jewelry catalog in his toolbox.  Or if you’re like me, a gift certificate for a mani-pedi is a perfect present – I suggest placing a flyer from your favorite salon in his sock drawer.

Don’t Forget The TV Remote

If a romantic dinner is on your wish list, wrap coupons from a favorite place to dine out around a six-pack of beer and secure it with a pink ribbon.  My personal favorite hint, sure to work every time, is to tape a business card from the local flower shop on the TV remote control – he’ll never miss that.  No matter how you end up celebrating, may your Valentine’s Day be blessed with style…

Comfortable In Their Indecency

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Comfortable In Their Indecency

The work of social justice must continue.

OPINION:

Comfortable In Their Indecency

D. S. Mitchell

Daily Blessings

I have been enormously blessed. I wake with a grateful heart each day.

Unvarnished Anger

I am however, angry with so many well-meaning people that assume that it is because they worked hard, or because they are especially smart is why they have done well financially in this society. The presumption then being that those who aren’t doing well must be lazy, stupid, unworthy or some other white elitist measurement of failure. There are millions of people every day that have their dreams smashed for reasons that have nothing to do with how hard they are working. Born in poverty, birth  defects, disease, accidents, divorce, abuse, homelessness, hunger. The list of adversity is long.

Knees Down

We live in a cruel capitalist society, with thousands of devices designed to keep the already advantaged always on top. In every city in this country huge numbers of people are living in tents, surrounded by garbage, no mental health services for people in crisis, police officers  so comfortable in their indecency that they feel no shame in holding their knee on the neck of another human being for nearly 9 minutes. The injustice in this country should have us on our fucking knees.  DSM/Calamity

OPINION: Propaganda and Intentions

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OPINION: Propaganda and Intentions

propaganda is misused by governments to effect people's opinion and actions

OPINION: Propaganda and Intentions

By Trevor K. McNeil

As bad as they seem?

Meanings can be tricky. Some words taking on cultural coloring, in no way reflecting the actual meaning. One of the main examples is the notion of stereotypes. Generally, a neutral term for observable trends it has come to be used interchangeably with prejudice or racism, only one of which is actually bad. It might seem strange because of how it is now used, but prejudice isn’t inherently negative. All it really means, going to the Latin root, is to pre-judge. Pre-judging something negatively is what people now mean when they used the term. Completely ignoring the fact that it is just as possible to pre-judge someone or something positively.

And Now To Politics

The way this all relates to politics, aside from the fact that language is generally how people understand the world, and very much informs our world-view, is that there is a word in the political arena that has been both misused and misunderstood almost from its inception. Propaganda, like post-modernism, is probably not what you think. Used by the political set, in one way or another, going back to Ancient Greece, propaganda is the use of information mediums to advance a particular political agenda or world-view. This can be done in a particularly bias or intentionally misinforming way, as seen in China and  Russia, but such is not an inherent element. A bug rather than a feature, one might say.

Misuse and Lies

It is just such misuses and lies, particularly perpetrated by the Russians in the form of agitprop, that has led to the sullied reputation propaganda now has. In reality, everything from pamphlets for political candidates, to campaign ads, as well as certain types of billboards, books and even songs, plays and movies, count as propaganda.

Burn It Down

The main thing that determines whether something is propaganda comes down to the intention of the creator. Whether said propaganda is considered good or bad, is almost entirely left to one’s own distinction. A notorious case of conflict in meaning came with the film V For Vendetta. Based in the graphic novel of the same name by British author Alan Moore, the film set off a minor fire-storm both the left and the right saying it was hate-filled propaganda against their own side. Which is ironic, because the ethos of the original book, somewhat lost in the film, is apolitical. The work is still propaganda but of a much different sort. Rather than advancing a particular political ideal, it largely transcends politics, instead going into the realms of moral philosophy. The basic message of both the book and the film is one of autonomy.

Bringing It Down To Earth

Seeing governments as little more as methods to organize. It is individuals who are truly important. A sentiment most clearly shown in the line: “people shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.” The government in both the book and the film is presented as fascist, but the general idea is that any government, of any description that gets above its station needs to be brought back down to earth.

In The Mirror Darkly

A case in which intention was presumed, came with the hit series Black Mirror. Premiering on British television in 2011 many, critics and viewers alike, presumed creator Charlie Brooker, known for his style of ‘satirical pessimism’ was an ardent Luddite. Assuming the show’s damning take on information technology to be a Boomer raging against the technology they don’t understand. Never mind that Brooker was 40 during the first season. There was an idea behind the darkness to be sure but one far from what was assumed. Brooker has gone on record saying he has no problem with technology.

Black Mirror

The horror elements in Black Mirror derive entirely from human causes. Basically people using what could be elevating technology to ruin their lives. The title is indicative of this. Brooker noticed that if you turn off a smartphone or tablet the screen becomes reflective, creating a black mirror. A darkened reflection of one’s true self. So, while there are certainly ideas and world-views at play in Black Mirror, they are so subtly present that most people missed it. Making it at most failed propaganda, rather than the anti-technology screed most assumed. Putting a different spin on the show and the incorrect use of the idea of propaganda itself.

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2018/10/29/on-line-bullying/

The Words of Martin Luther King, Jr.

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The Words of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Happy Birthday MLK

The Words of Martin Luther King, Jr.

By D. S. Mitchell

Celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr.

The third Monday of each January we celebrate MLK Day. Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. A man who died too soon. Today is a great day to re-read some of his most well-known quotes. Be inspired.

MLK Quotes:

  1. “The time is always right to do what is right.”
  2. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
  3. “So even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.”
  4. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
  5. “Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”
  6. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
  7. “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
  8. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
  9. “I am not interested in power for power’s sake, but I’m interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.”
  10. “A right delayed is a right denied.”
  11. “The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.”
  12. “Whatever your life’s work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.”
  13. “We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now.”
  14. “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
  15. “I want to be the white man’s brother, not his brother-in-law.”
  16. “There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
  17. “If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.”
  18. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Dion “Abraham, Martin, and John”

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Dion “Abraham, Martin, and John”

Dion “Abraham, Martin, and John”

The Jukebox choice of the day was suggested by Calamity Politics’ friend and contributor, David Shadrick. The song was written in 1968 by Dick Holler and first recorded by Dion. The song is a tribute to the memory of four assassinated Americans, all icons of social change: Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy, and Robert F. Kennedy. We celebrate the birthday of MLK on the third Monday of January every year. This year it falls on 1/18/2021. The lyrics are below. Enjoy. DSM

Abraham, Martin and John

Dion DiMucci

Anybody here seen my old friend Abraham?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He freed lotta people but it seems the good they die young
You know I just looked around and he’s gone
Anybody here seen my old friend John?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He freed lotta people but it seems the good they die young
I just looked around and he’s gone
Anybody here seen my old friend Martin?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He freed lotta people but it seems the good they die young
I just looked around and he’s gone
Didn’t you love the things that they stood for?
Didn’t they try to find some good for you and me?
And we’ll be free
Some day soon, it’s gonna be one day
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
I thought I saw him walkin’ up over the hill
With Abraham, Martin, and John
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Richard Holler
Abraham, Martin and John lyrics © Regent Music

 

David Shadrick “Stay Home”

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David Shadrick “Stay Home”

Stay Home

David Shadrick is back with his regular video cast, but today he has a few things to say to any folks who are planning to protest at state capitols around the country and otherwise stir up trouble. Stay the fuck home!  Dave says,   “It’s time for me to rant about the possible civil war brewing on the 20th of January, 2021.  This is my reminder to please stay home, put your gun in your gun cabinet and watch the action on TV.  No matter where you stand on the issues we don’t need shade thrown on our election process.  Stay Home!”

https://www.calamitypolitics.com/2020/06/17/world-on-fire/

David Shadrick “Protest Problem”

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David Shadrick “Protest Problem”

 

David Shadrick “Protest Problem”

Calamity News and Politics is happy to welcome Dave Shadrick back with some valuable information if you intend to join a protest demonstration. Stay tuned, stay informed.

 

“Good Trouble, Necessary Trouble”

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“Good Trouble, Necessary Trouble”
John Lewis was one of the giants of the Civil Rights movement

“Good Trouble, Necessary Trouble”

A Tribute To Civil Rights Warrior John Lewis

By Wes Hessel

Black And White

February 21st, 1940, John Robert Lewis was born near Troy, AL, the third oldest of his nine siblings.  His parents were sharecroppers, eking a living out of the land.  As was typical for African-Americans in the South at the time, segregation was just a part of life.  John was not really aware of the difference elsewhere for some years until he began traveling to visit relatives in the North.  This particularly became apparent when, at 11 years old, an uncle took him to Buffalo, NY, where he saw clearly the integration of Northern businesses and institutions, in stark contrast to the boldly drawn lines of Troy in black and white.

Faith In Action

From a young age, he was a man of faith who spoke out about it and from it.  At 5, Master Lewis was pronouncing lessons over his first flock, the family’s chickens.  Ten years later, Mr. Lewis gave his debut sermon in public.  That same year, John had heard Martin Luther King, Jr.  speak for the first time on a radio broadcast.  Mr. Lewis then watched closely the King-led boycott of the Montgomery city buses, sparked to flame by the resolve of Rosa Parks.  John first met MLK when he was 18.  In addition to Dr. King’s inspiration, Mr. Lewis later credited evangelist Billy Graham as a significant influence on his choice to enter Christian ministry.

“The Boy From Troy”

Having been denied admission by Troy University, Mr. Lewis wrote to MLK, and an invitation was extended for John to discuss it personally with Dr. King.  The civil rights leader and Mr. Lewis considered together the possibility of pursuing a discrimination suit against the school but MLK cautioned “the boy from Troy”, as Dr. King came to call John, that Mr. Lewis’ family could be put at risk.  After conferring with his parents, John opted instead to attend a historically black college in Nashville, American Baptist Theological Seminary.  Mr. Lewis was ordained in the Baptist church, and later continued his education, receiving a second Bachelor of Arts in religion and philosophy from Fisk University.

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