Single Doesn’t Spell Unhappy

Single Doesn’t Spell Unhappy

I read somewhere recently, single doesn’t necessarily mean ready to mingle. Scientists are confirming that sentiment; not all singles are looking to partner up. In 2023 at least 40% of all U.S. adults are living solo. At least half of that 40% state no interest in dating, or developing a relationship. 

By D. S. Mitchell

March Time

I’m at the doctor’s office and for the first time since the pandemic I see magazines filling the wall racks and the table tops. Yahoo! magazines are back. As I waited to be called, I flipped through the pages of Time (March 14/ March 20).  I quickly landed on Angela Haupt’s article, “5 Ways To Find Happiness On Your Own” and thought I’d pass on to my readers what Ms. Haupt had to say about those “5 Ways” to find happiness if you are living a single lifestyle.

Not So True Anymore

For at least the last fifty years researchers and psychologists have told the public that married and partnered folks tended to live longer, be happier, and experience more satisfied lives than their single counterparts. According to new studies that old truism may no longer be true. With marriages down and divorces up it says that a lot of people in this country like it better alone than in a miserable relationship. The quality of the relationship is what counts. If it’s a bad one, the stress and abuse shortens lives and stunts personal growth and happiness.

Five Ways To Be Happy:

1. Identify the Positives: It seems that long term singles cherish “freedom, independence, creativity and nonconformity,” states Haupt. In one study, singles touted solo benefits such as, having more time for themselves, being able to focus on their goals, hobbies, self care activities, not having to answer to someone else for their actions or how they spend their money.
2. No Hurry to Couple: If you are recently out of a relationship, slow down, take some time before you hook up again; take stock of the benefits of single life. Enjoy yourself, stop wishing for what you don’t have. Don’t fret that there isn’t someone on your arm, because that panic over being single can lead you to make stupid choices and end up miserable, again. Volunteer, be of service to your community, take your mind off finding a partner, for a while at least.
3. Friends Need Tending: We’ve all experienced the withdrawal from friends and family that occurs when we become involved in a relationship. Men particularly, according to Haupt, do not tend friendships and lose those friendships over time and find themselves lonely in later life. Studies indicate that single people have more friends than partnered folks.  Furthermore singles tend to visit and interact with friends and family more that partnered folks.
4. Sex Life: As imagined, people in relationships have more sex than their single counterparts, the availability factor makes this a statistical slam dunk. Geoff MacDonald, University of Toronto psychology professor, states, “to the extent to which single people are happy with their sex lives predicts their satisfaction with their single life. Those with higher sexual satisfaction tend to report less desire to marry.”
5. Stigma Is Old School: If you’re single you may feel that others imagine there must be something wrong with you if you aren’t partnered up. Is there really such a thing as societal expectations in the year 2023? Forget what you imagine others are thinking and “live your single life fully, joyfully, and unapologetically,” says social psychologist Bella DePaulo.