Category: Happiness

Let Go of Compulsive Goal Setting

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Let Go of Compulsive Goal Setting

Let Go of Compulsive Goal Setting. . . and be Happy

By D. S. Mitchell

 

Self Help

The other day, I was pawing through a box of books I had stored in the back of my closet and was trying to decide if they were something I should drop off at The Salvation Army or go to the trouble of pricing them to resell on Amazon. As I debated the question I came upon Stephen Shapiro’s 2006 self-help gem, “Goal Free Living: How To Have The Life You Want Now.”  It has been at least a decade since I read the book, but as I flipped through the pages I remembered it distinctly, and thought it would be a great reminder to pass on to my readers to help them enjoy the closure of 2025. If you’re a compulsive goal setter, burdened by could of’s, should of’s, and would of’s now might be the the right time to put all that baggage aside and take a new look at how we prioritize living our lives.

First Person

Stephen Shapiro is the first person that I can remember that gave me permission to release the religion of goal making that permeates our culture, and try to live without the restrictions  of a set of goals or rules for success. I have been told since I was a kid, that goals of all kinds, big, small, wildly ambitious were all within my reach. I just had to want that dream bad enough. The rule seemed to be,  if you can visualize it, you can have it; if you don’t know what you want  (can’t visualize it), you might as well be lost at sea without a life preserver.

Not So

Shapiro disputes this time worn American myth.  In fact, Shapiro argues that if you want to be happy in its most broad interpretation, you need to throw that “five-year plan,” and the “life-time to do list,” into the garbage can. Originally Shapiro was a motivational researcher.  While doing interviews with business leaders for a book he discovered that after interviewing 150 of the country’s most successful people and traveling over 12,ooo miles the most fulfilled people were also the most spontaneous,  and believe it or not, the least goal oriented. What?  How could that be true?  It goes against everything I’ve ever been taught.

Taking a Detour

After interviewing those 150 successful people in all fields of enterprise, from all parts of the country, Shapiro discovered that most of the successful people had taken a circuitous route to their eventual success, and it seems that the circuitous trip was what made the result, all the more satisfying. Shapiro became convinced that the key to happiness comes from checking out the back roads and detours, both literally and figuratively, without fear of changing course. Shapiro is convinced that following goals may lead a person to financial wealth, but there is a good chance that if you follow the plan unquestioningly you will lose yourself and potential happiness.

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Change Course

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 Change Course, You’ll Feel Better

Change Course, You’ll Feel Better

 

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Lyin’ Eyes and Mouth

I could feel my blood boiling as I watched Donald Trump’s ugly orange face come into focus as Chris Hayes switches to Trump and a meeting of his billionaire cabinet. Holy Christmas! What a disgusting display of the ultra wealthy making disastrous decisions that effect the remaining 98% of us. Before he could even open his ‘lyin mouth, I sensed my blood pressure going stratospheric. Our tariff king say he’s tired of hearing about affordability and he doesn’t want to hear any more about such nonsense. “All fake news. Best economy in history.”  I could only tolerate about 2 minutes of his crap and con before I switched the channel to Cold Case Files where at least in the end the family always  gets an answer.

Ranting and Raging

After about 10 minutes of ranting and raging instead of calming down I was actually ramping myself up about something that I had little power to change. I remembered my psychology classes and implemented long proven ways to relax; deep breathing, meditation, or stepping away from the drama. I guess in the case of Trump I need a better distraction than a 2 decade old TV show. The only message here is don’t let the current political situation cause you physical or emotional distress. Deep breathe.

Outraged and Angry

Between the wars in Ukraine, Gaza, Sudan, Nigeria, the rollbacks of human rights, mass shootings, cuts to Medicaid and Medicare, ACA subsidies, the extreme weather events, it is easy to feel outraged, overwhelmed, and in many ways helpless and hopeless. As I’ve grown older I have learned that even in the darkest places, the human spirt can find light and hope when we come together.  Do what you can in your neighborhood. Feed a hungry person, volunteer at a shelter or the local hospital, speak up for human rights, voting rights, start  a pod cast or a website, and be sure to protest.  You might not be able to effect events in Gaza or Ukraine but you can help someone in your community, and that local action makes a big difference to you as the giver, and to those who benefit from your contribution of time, energy, or money.

Powerful Positive Emotions

Giving and volunteering triggers powerful positive emotions known as “helpers high.”  When we help others dopamine and oxytocin flood our brain, reducing stress, boosting happiness, and creating feelings of purpose, self worth, and connection while also enhancing empathy and energy. As we become more connected to our community, we shift focus from our personal struggles and worries to helping others.  Like Hillary said, “We’re Stronger Together.”

Time To Break For A Smile

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Time To Break For A Smile

Time To Break For A Smile

By D.S. Mitchell

Things have been dark around here the last few posts, so I think its time to give ourselves permission to smile. First, the shellacking of Trump in last night’s multi-state elections gives me hope. At least 60% of the American voters disapprove of Trump and his activities. People are paying attention and they don’t like Trump’s lawless, blatant, corruption, DOGE, soldiers on our streets, masked ICE thugs disappearing people, tariffs, inflation, foreign policy, and they are sending a powerful message to Trump’s White House. Open the damn government. Continue SNAP; and on and on, and on.

So, folks, let’s lighten the mood and here are 25 things that always make me smile. How about you? Make your own list. Smiling with a grateful heart is an important part of happiness.

25 Things That Make Me Smile

1.) Winning.

2.) Putting pennies in a jar, and watching it grow.

3.) Being smart.

4.) Acting stupid.

5.) Living in a vacation town, in the off-season.

6.) Blackened hot dogs. Yum. Yum.

7.) Slow dancing.

8.) Pyramids of tea sandwiches.

9.)  Knowing when its time to work; and when its time to play.

10.) Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter.

11.) Edibles.

12.) Raindrops hitting a pond.

13.)  Cookbooks with food stains on favored recipes.

14.) Front row seats.

15.) Rational thinking; easier said, than done.

16.) Following the Estate Sale signs.

17.) Giving.

18.) Sharing.

19.) Sharing childhood remembrances with a childhood friend.

20.) Order over chaos.

21.) Wild strawberries peeking up in the flowerbeds.

22.) Prime Days.

23.) Self-debates.

24.) Mail-in voting.

25.) Legalized cannabis.

 

Let’s Get Up and Get Moving

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Let’s Get Up and Get Moving

Let’s Get Up and Get Moving

Editor: A version of this article was published on 10/17/2017

D. S. Mitchell

 

No News

It’s no news that our society is becoming more sedentary and overweight. Many of us spend hours behind a desk at our jobs and then go home where we spend more hours watching TV and perusing the internet before falling into bed exhausted.  We drive our cars to the McDonald’s drive thru, order  our food and never even get out of our cars.  We use our computers to shop, without ever leaving the house.  With decreased activity people are increasingly complaining of posture related aches and pains, weight gain, depression, joint pain, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

Too Much

Just like we enjoy eating and drinking too much, we enjoy sitting and doing nothing too much. We are surrounded by cars, salty snacks, elevators and escalators, sugary drinks and fast foods. The problem has become serious enough that the World Health Organization has an agenda focused on encouraging physical activity. In other words folks, the world is experiencing a crisis in health, created by being inactive and being too fat for our own good.

Try Vigorous Movement

A “Black Dog Institute” of Australia, in a decades old study, found that 1-2 hours of exercise per week can prevent depression and suicide. In addition to improved mental health multiple world-wide studies have shown that vigorous movement can stave off heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, fatigue, diabetes, and even cancer.

“Sitting Disease”

Our country, and most of the industrialized economies are suffering from chronic “sitting”.  Physical inactivity is one of  the top 10 causes of disease and disability according to a recent UK government study, they in fact have diagnosed 1 in 6 deaths to “sitting disease” which is equal to the number of deaths related to smoking in the UK.

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Day Fires and the Power of Prayer

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The Day Fires and The Power of Prayer

The Day Fires and The Power of Prayer

 

By Karen Tate

 

Forest Dream

My entire life I dreamed of being able to have a home in a beautiful wooded area.  I admired the homes in the Big Bear area and the many rustic-looking homes on many of our vacation trips among the forests and mountains, but I never imagined I’d have one of my own.  I believed I was probably going to be an apartment dweller my entire life, but I secretly held on to the dream.

Believe in Roy

Then circumstances changed, as if by magic.  We were driving home from a vacation in the Grand Canyon, taking Route 66 back toward California, all the while mesmerized by these signs of land for sale.  Or I should say, my husband, Roy, was getting hooked on these carrots being dangled before the drivers on this lonely highway going through Arizona.  By the time we had reached Kingman, he convinced me to “just look”  at what was for sale.  Well, you’ve probably guessed the next twist of this tale.  Within a few hours we were the proud owners of 40 acres of land covered with juniper trees.  Roy was sure this property was going to turn into a good investment.  I was not so sure, but I tried to have a little faith in his intuition.

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Should I Get a Dog?

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I Want a Dog, But Should I Get a Dog?

 I Want a Dog, But Should I Get a Dog?

 

By D. S. Mitchell

 

That Damn Lily

My last dog was named Lily, she was a rescued dog. She came to my home when she was about two years old and full of personality.  She had a habit of arguing with me when I would give commands,  “Sit, Lily” would be followed by a straight on eye ball to eye ball period of audible grumbling before following the order. “To your house, Lily,” garnered the same stare me down look and grumbling response, before heading to her bed.   But she was the first to notice when I was sad or depressed, and would hurry to comfort me.  She was the first to notice when something was amiss and would quickly draw my attention to her concern. She never got on the furniture, she apparently was smarter than that; I don’t even sit on the furniture. She was always ready for a walk or any kind of activity, especially a car ride. Yippee!

Memorable Events

Her most memorable nonsense was the day she wrapped her leash around both my legs and brought me down hard on a sand dune at Sunset Beach, Oregon, just out front of my house. Turns out that little stunt fractured my pelvis, causing me to spend the next 2 months hobbling around like a 90 year old with a borrowed walker; you know the kind with the tennis balls on the two back struts.

Her second most memorable stunt was when she ( we were living in Astoria, Oregon at the time) jumped out the second story window of my three story Victorian house on Flavel Street, and took off. WTF. I mean this dog jumped from the second floor window; why? because the damn window was open?  Holy moly. I was at a total loss. Screaming and literally pulling at my hair. Why would she pull such a bull shit stunt. After she bailed out the window, landing quite athletically on the street below,  I watched her head up the hill as if she had a destination in mind. So, I of course, called the Astoria Police Department and told them my dog was missing. I gave the nice lady taking the report Lily’s description. The woman told me she would call me if Lily turned up. Well….less than five minutes later that nice police lady called back and said she thought she had found my dog.

Thank God

‘Thank God,” my response.

The sweet lady laughed and said, “You better get over to Astoria High School. Apparently, your brindle boxer just broke up the first band concert of the year.”

“Broke up the first band concert of the year?” I painfully repeated.

“According to the report, your pooch interrupted the concert, sending both audience and band members scurrying.”

“Oh, God,” I moaned.

Loving Kids

I grabbed my side kick, Dave, who was hanging out at the house, and we headed over the hill to Astoria High School. The rig had barely come to a stop when the two of us hit the ground running.  Dave was about 20  feet out front of me when we found the center of chaos and Lily was right in the middle of it. Several of the students were joyfully pursuing Lily, but she was quick and was darting in and out from behind one obstacle after another.  It was obvious she was having a hell of a good time with the kids. She loved kids.

I shouted, “Halt!” and to everyone’s surprise she did just that. She of course, grumbled and disputed my dominance, but she stopped and held her position.

I pulled out a  piece of chicken I had stashed in my pocket, for just such a situation, and promised Lily it was all hers if she’d just let me attach the leash to her ‘effin collar.  Once the agreement was struck, I hooked up the leash to the collar and Lily and I headed down the hall to the main entrance with Lily munching on last night’s chicken breast and me leading the crazy bitch to the SUV. Dave, followed close behind and hopped in the car and the three of us headed home. The next day there was a front page story in the Daily Astorian, with pictures of  Lily’s night of disruption at Astoria High School.  In the end, it was a good laugh for all.

So Why Do I Want a Dog?

Sometimes we, are not in the right place, time-wise, geographically, or emotionally to bring a new friend laden with responsibilities into our lives. It broke my heart when I had to euthanize Lily at around 12 years of age. She had thyroid cancer and was miserable with pain and I couldn’t watch her suffering any longer. It’s been five years since her death and I’m feeling the pain of being dog-less. I definitely do not want a puppy. I’m thinking elder dog for elder owner.

The time commitment required for a new puppy is more than I can take on. Before I start looking for my new companion I know I need to make sure that I have the time and the energy required to make the daily commitment to my new best buddy. Puppies will need to go out every hour until they are house trained. That means a commitment of no less than two hours daily for play, exercise, socialization and stimulation. Additionally, puppies because they are rapidly growing, need to be fed and watered three times a day. I know I can’t do that. Continue reading

I Can Hear Her Breathing

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I Can Hear Her Breathing

I Can Hear Her Breathing

By Karen Tate

 

“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way.  On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” – Arundhati Roy

 

When I read that quote for the first time, the breath caught in my throat and the hair stood up on the back of my neck as I remembered….

I had been invited to Wisconsin to present at a weekend workshop which turned out to be a more than wonderful experience.  I went thinking I was just going up there to teach women the workshop material, but the sharing and activities I participated in were a beautifully reciprocal dance.  Besides the bonding and the fun, issues I had never quite been able to banish from my psyche had dispersed in the safety of the ritual the night before and I was feeling light and open and gloriously happy and fulfilled.

As the weekend came to a close and the time to drive back to the airport was drawing near, I grabbed a few moments of solitary time behind the dormitory where we were staying located about 100 yards off serene and shining Lake Michigan.  Between the lake and the dorm, trees had been planted in a circle, with barely two to three feet of space between their trunks, and inside the circle was a bench.  I was drawn within the circle desiring a few moments of quiet contemplation in what felt like Nature’s embrace.

As I sat there, enjoying a cool breeze on my cheeks, glimpsing the reflection of the sun on the lake between the tree trunks before me, I suddenly realized I heard a rhythmic breathing.  In and out.  In and out.  Where was it coming from?  In my mind, I began a process of elimination.  I held my own breath for a few moments thinking perhaps here in this small space among this odd configuration of trees I was hearing the echo of my own breath, but no, it wasn’t me.  I looked around to make sure there was no one else there, perhaps just beyond my initial line of light.  No.

I wasn’t hearing the incoming tide of the lake.  I sat there mesmerized as I listened.   No, this sound was coming from this very spot where I sat.  Dare I even utter the next thoughts that crossed my mind?  In this circle of trees, it was as if  I were sitting within the body of Goddess and I was hearing Her breathing  This was incredulous, but I was going to go with it and  just listen, feel, and  receive. I soaked in the magic of this sacred place.  The hair stood up on back my neck and arms.  I felt that familiar cold chill up my spine and my tears turned into sobs of joy.  What an emotional experience!

In hindsight, many of us might speak in metaphor, as perhaps the novelist and activist Arundhati Roy is speaking above, about Gaia or the coming new paradigm of the Sacred Feminine, but this was different.  This experience went beyond metaphor or even feeling inspired in some natural landscape.  This wasn’t merely equating the ebb and flow of the ocean tides with Her breath as we attempt to personify Her and embrace Her mysteries.  This felt as if it were another phenomena of a dimension I had yet to experience.  Was I crazy to even contemplate hearing the inhaling and exhaling…..of our Mother?  Well, sometimes we just have to shut off that left-brain and just feel Her incredible gifts!  Those few minutes sitting in that sacred grove near that beautiful lake will no doubt be some of the most profound and magical minutes of my life.   Thank you, Mother.  Thank you for that precious gift… I can hear you breathing!

Take Time to Smile

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Take Time to Smile

beautiful rainbow over acres of flowers

Take Time to Smile

 

By D. S. Mitchell

Before I get any more irritated at Trump’s threat to take over D.C. I think I need to switch gears. I know, I’ll just take a few minutes to think  of all the things that make me smile. Join me for a moment to reflect on the sweet and simple things in life.

  1. Beach grass whipped by the wind
  2. The feel of cotton against my skin
  3. Electric BBQ’s
  4. Donating blood
  5. A dash of Irish Cream in my morning Cappuccino
  6.  Soldiers in their dress uniforms
  7.  Children’s handmade cards
  8.  Ed Sheeran’s “The Shape Of You”
  9.  Looking through freshly cleaned windows
  10.  Montana’s endless skies
  11.  Roller skating at Oaks Park, Portland, Oregon
  12.  Paddle wheel river boats
  13.  Finding that lost earring
  14.  Homemade Clam Chowder and Cheese Bread
  15.  Letters to the Editor
  16.  Antique car shows
  17.  A freshly cleaned bathroom
  18.  Cashmere and tweed
  19.  The thinnest, crispiest French fries
  20.  A new supply of business cards
  21.  Lunch with Mom
  22.  A February 29th birthday
  23.  Dancing cheek to cheek
  24.  Random acts of kindness
  25.  Circular driveways
  26.  Summer days at the lake
  27.  Winning $100 on the Scratch Off ticket

That’s it. I hope you took a minute from the insanity of the 24 hour news cycle, put up your feet and smiled at a few of the simple things in life.

Calamity Politics is a progressive news magazine dedicated to human rights, universal health care, elimination of the Electoral College and restoration of Democratic control of the Congress and the White House. Join the New Resistance. Dump Trump. Protest and demonstrate. We don’t have to take this crap. Our soldiers didn’t die on the battlefield to allow this to happen. Join the New Resistance

40 Reasons To Smile

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40 Reasons To Smile

40 Reasons To Smile

D. S. Mitchell

Relish Routine

Here at Calamity Politics, a Wednesday is pretty much the same as a Friday, or a Sunday.  I’m not complaining. In fact, I relish it. I am an individual that loves routine. Up at 5:00, in the pool @5:45, walk the dog at 7:30, coffee @8:30. @9:00 I start scanning the internet for breaking news on the Trump fiasco, going on in the White House. I turn on CNN or MSNBC to get their view of the situation. If it’s a big scandal, I’ll turn on FOX to get their spin. I usually leave the TV playing in the background. You get the idea.

Things That Make Me Smile

But, at least once a week, I stop, and consciously think about how blessed I am, and all the things in life that make me happy; those things that never fail to bring a smile to my face.  Here’s 40 Things That Made Me Smile Today:

  1.  Painting old furniture; giving something old a new life
  2.  Danish Brie and California Chardonnay
  3.  New shoes; makes me want to dance
  4.  Nap time
  5.  Visiting the Planetarium
  6.  Palladian style windows, a whisper of elegance
  7.  Flower baskets in bloom
  8.  The Celtic Cross
  9.  My dog, Lily
  10.  Whales and elephants
  11.  A box of old black and white photos, worth more than gold to see my daddy again
  12.  Taking a Community College class and pulling an A
  13.  Towel warmers in the bathroom
  14.   Reading my daily horoscope
  15.   The Bobble-Head toys in the back window of my friend’s car
  16.   The newspaper. A real newspaper, one that I touch, that I unfold, that I read over coffee
  17.   Street musicians
  18.   YSL Black Opium, perfume
  19.   Glass bowl filled with sun bleached shells
  20.   Three-day week-ends
  21.   My new iPhone
  22.   Wall size antique mirrors
  23.   The delicate beauty of Orchids
  24.   Travel magazines
  25.   Roller coasters
  26.   Drawstring sweat pants
  27.   Little boxes of Sunshine raisins
  28.   Hummingbirds feeding in my garden
  29.   Patsy Cline on my play list
  30.   The muted colors of Madras fabric
  31.   Holding a baby in my arms
  32.   Sharing a banana split with a calorie counting friend
  33.   A handmade greeting card
  34.   Author book signings
  35.   Reading scandal magazines at the grocery checkout stand
  36.   Having help with a big job, four hands are always better than two, if you have six, all the better
  37.   My kitchen junk drawer
  38.   Wrist corsage
  39.  Pagodas in the mist
  40.  Fog horns in the night

The  Protests Go On

I’m about to go watch the kids fly their kites. It is just about a perfect day for kite flying; clear sky, great breeze and a strangely lonely beach for this time of year.   Have a great week, and remember we always have time, to smile. I’m hoping that while you are grinning ear-to-ear you are busy planning for the July 17, 2025, “Good Trouble Lives On” protest. Make a new sign, The protest will be the fifth national day of protest against the Trump administration. The protest will also honor Civil Rights activist icon, congressman, John Lewis. Turn out; make your voices heard. No cuts to Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, VA benefits, SNAP or Child Tax Credits. Call your congressman/woman tell them to stop the Big Ugly Bill.

Join the New Resistance