Something More to Smile About

Something More To Smile About

Something More To Smile About

D. S. Mitchell

Thank you, for visiting Calamity Politics, where we normally feed our reader’s the unadulterated red meat of liberal political news. But today, I am having one of my, “not today,” moments.

Ha, ha. I changed my usual offering of “25 Things To Smile About” to “30 Things To Smile About” for this week only. So, many awful things have happened this week that I thought we could all use an extra couple of reasons to smile. Happy political blogging. Thanks again, for visiting Calamity Politics, we hope you find topics of interest and enough Trump news to keep you laughing and screaming all week-end.

1.) Parades
2.) Cannon Beach, Seaside, Gearhart, and Astoria, Oregon
3.) Fresh baked Molasses cookies with THC
4.) Music boxes
5.) Being on time
6.) Deep sea fishing
7.) Introverts Anonymous

8.) Old time rock ‘n roll
9.) Big trees
10.) Being appreciated
11.) Hand embroidered 501’s
12.) Penguins, walking
13.) Herb gardens
14.) Yard Chess

15.) Having my taxes finished by April 15th
16.) Double Caramel Mocha espresso
17.) Canoes and Kayaks
18.) Michael Fanone
19.) The journey
20.) Deep fried onion rings
21.) Summer Solstice
22.) A plan
23.) The beach, after Memorial Day
24.) Rock walls
25.) Tile roofs
26.) The WNBA
27.) Portland, Oregon’s Old Town
28.) Food, Views and Piano at The Bridgewater Bistro, Astoria, Oregon

29.) Plate of chips & dip
30.) The quiet, before the storm

 

That’s it. Remember, stand for what’s right, you’ll feel better about it.

Join the Resistance. No Kings.

Women Of A Certain Age, In A Modern Era

Women of a Certain Age In a Modern Era

Women of a Certain Age In a Modern Era

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Women of a certain age, here are three scenarios of life in the world today – may we always be able to laugh at ourselves. Tushy selfies on social media, medical mishaps, and deodorant differences are modern stories for our times:

Licking My Elbow

I found a lingerie clad female, complete with a bare backside, on my husband’s social media. He was rather unimpressed with her “assets”, and my sister thought she looked like a man. I, however, was very displeased with the friend responsible for bringing this individual into our lives. When I emailed my online buddy to inform her that there was a moon out tonight on my husband’s Facebook page, and that her new chum was smiling on both ends for all the world to see on my spouse’s timeline, she was very apologetic, explaining she barely knew the culprit when she accepted her friend request. Had she known she would target her other friends significant others, she would have blocked the person.

My pal, in an effort to make up for her new acquaintance’s behavior, sent me a how to video giving play by play advice to teach me how to take a rear end selfie of my very own. Huh? A derriere selfie is like licking your elbow – it can’t be done, can it? One must need to be contortionist to accomplish this feat. I informed my friend that my cell phone doesn’t have a wide angle lens – things are definitely larger than they appear. I assumed the backside bimbo on social media had a “photographer” do the deed for her. I was never good at the game “Twister” and I am not double jointed, but I must admit my curiosity was peaked. It can’t be any more difficult than the fifth position in ballet…

I donned my spanx leggings (with rear-lift technology built in) and gave it a whirl, twisting and turning while setting the camera at a jaunty angle just like my friend suggested. I wasn’t sure my husband would want this display on his page, either, but what the heck. Needless to say I threw my back out and fell on the floor right on my said tushie. En route home, after my trip to the chiropractor,  I stopped at a medspa for a non-invasive Brazilian butt lift, because my rear view has style…

Continue reading

Women of a Certain Age-Culinary Edition

Women of a Certain Age-Culinary Edition

Women of a Certain Age – Culinary Edition

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you watch “The Food That Built America” on the History Channel and shout “I bought that!” during the show, you might just be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you call Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice TV dinners…
  3. If you know what a Jawbreaker is…
  4. If you were unaware that many of the foods you have eaten in the past are GMO…
  5. If you ever ate a Pop Tart without frosting…
  6. If you remember when each of the new M&M colors came out…
  7. If you remember the red dye no. 2 scare…
  8. If you ate fruit off the tree without washing it…
  9. If you refer to a microwave as a microwave oven…
  10. If you ever had Jiffy Pop…
  11. If you remember who helped with the Shake’n’Bake Chicken…
  12. If you still fry chicken…
  13. If you had fish sticks on Fridays…when you were a kid
  14. If you think drinking milk with fish is dangerous…
  15. If you ever drank milk straight from the cow…
  16. If you drank from the garden hose…
  17. If you agree milk comes from a cow or a goat, not a nut…
  18. If you know who Famous Amos is…
  19. If you know Tab was a soft drink…
  20. If you drank Tang because the astronauts did…
  21. If you ever had caramels with white cream layer stripes…
  22. If you ever ate a Sky Bar…
  23. If you have heard of Willy Wonka Oompas candy…
  24. If you recall the Banquet chicken commercial with the hot chicken…
  25. If you recall the commercial with the stuck to the box pizza…
  26. If you ever drank Diet Rite cola…
  27. If you know what “Schweppervesent” means…
  28. If you remember Swanson Dinners and still eat their potpies..
  29. If you recall when Pringles were new fangled…
  30. If you know who Mrs. Fields is…
  31. If you think Dolly Madison snack cakes are named after Dolley Madison…
  32. If you know who quipped “good cracker”…
  33. If you know what tuna had their mascot looking for “good taste”…
  34. If you had a Charlie Tuna mug…
  35. If you have a Pillsbury Doughboy doll and poke its tummy…
  36. If you ever had the Goober Grape jelly and peanut butter combo in a jar…
  37. If you ever opened a can of pork and beans and had to search for the tiny piece of pork…
  38. If you remember the “Hostess is wholesome” commercials…
  39. If you know who the Jolly Green Giant is…
  40. If you know what’s “mmm mmm good”…
  41. If you know what choosy moms choose…
  42. If you recall the commercial with the chocolate bar bumping into the peanut butter…
  43. If your baloney has a first and last name…
  44. If you ever ate a fried baloney sandwich…
  45. If you ever ate butter on saltines…
  46. If you ever had turkey or tuna croquettes…
  47. If you made meatloaf on Mondays…
  48. If you ever ate ham loaf…
  49. If you ever had a hot beef sandwich with gravy fries…
  50. If you ever had lunch at the restaurant in Woolworth’s, you might just be a woman of a certain age…

Trump’s Third Visit to Walter Reed This Year

Trump’s Third Visit to Walter Reed This Year

Trump’s Third Visit to Walter Reed This Year

D. S. Mitchell

Experience

I was,  in my other life, a Registered Nurse. Over my 38 year career I spent 20 years in Crisis Psychiatry.  The symptoms of mental disorder I see in Trump are quite concerning. Quite flatly, Donald Trump is mentally ill. My observations are not political, but clinical. As a professional I see symptoms every day that Mr. Trump is deeply disturbed, both mentally and emotionally. I know, I am not alone in this belief.  There has long been a consensus among mental health professionals that President Trump is clearly mentally ill with severe symptoms of dementia. Trump’s not the only prez I’ve disliked for their policies.  But, never once, have I doubted a president’s mental capacity. No, not even old Joe Biden. Joe might have been slowing down, but he wasn’t erratic and downright crazy. And quite honestly, Trump has been caught more often than “Sleepy Joe”, taking a little nap, on the government dime.

Grave Danger

If  President Trump is as sick as I believe he is, his continued occupation of the White House is a minute by minute threat to our survival as a country.  His mental illness is a grave danger to the country we love. Caligula, Hitler, Stalin, come to mind. I am sure you would be peeing your pants if one of these mentally ill men had access to our country’s nuclear weapons.  Hell, yeah, you would be terrified. But, it goes beyond the nuclear codes. This guy wants to fight with everyone. Now bored with the Iran War and all the complaining he has decided to return his focus on Cuba. Continue reading

A High Mass for Massie

A High Mass For Massie

A High Mass For Massie

By John Curran

 

I am not a priest, but if I was I would throw down on a righteous high mass for Thomas Massie. A good man in my opinion, fighting the good fight and he’s really in the trenches today. He must prevail. He is arrayed against the galloping goddamn forces of the modern day Apocalypse in the form of the Godless motherfucker currently some see as president. Good ‘ol USA, great in a lot of ways, not so great in some others, historically speaking. Many bumps in this road if we be truthful about it all but at least, at the very least, we were evolving. Up until this guy.

I don’t mention his name if I can help it but we sure do know it when we see it, smell it, taste it, feel it. Its become like an overpowering thing, like walking onto a field of battle after the last gunshot, on a hot day; before the work details have managed to bury the bodies…the smell kinda knocks ya out, gotta give it pause for a second cause its like nothing you have ever experienced and right off you damn sure know you don’t want to have to experience this again. It’s sorta like why the hell hasn’t this horror been speedily taken care of?  Hell no; it’s been allowed to fester and to grow stronger in its vile poisonous way everyday now while this person jiggles and manipulates every aspect of a system that lo and behold does allow itself to be manipulated and jiggled to allow maximum manipulation and consequent corruption, seeing as how the person is someone of that character, always has been, always will be.

Fact is though, many are now waking up to what is really going on with all of this to the point that even die hard bricks in the road are finding that road shift pretty mightily right under their feet as if a great and most powerful quaking and ‘a shaking of the very earth is occurring such that there no longer really is any room for denial, that building is coming down, better hope it ain’t coming right on top of your head. So, I just hope that during Massie’s last seven months in office he goes after that smelly piece of garbage in the White House with everything he’s got. It’s very important to me, and the country.

47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47

47 Things More Pleasant Than  Trump 47

47 Things More Pleasant Than Trump 47

Editor: I have been avoiding the TV news recently; because his name, the sound of  his voice, his tweets, his quotes are the rantings of a demented old geezer that ‘otta be in a forensic unit at the Florida State Hospital instead of pretending to run the 21st century government of the United States. Before Trump sank into the depths of a terrifying dementia he was a thieving grifter who had fooled a lot of people for a long time. He has no respect for the law because he has always broken it and gotten away scot free while making huge sums of money. Now he is scamming the United States government for a whole bunch of cash for those who will claim false prosecution. Only in America. Holy fuck, what a terrible epitaph for this once glorious country. So with all that said, here’s Cate again with a few things she would much rather hear about than Donald Trump.

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

47 is the worst excuse for a “president” ever…and I mean E-V-E-R. So with said, here are 47 Things I think are more pleasant than Donald John Trump

  1. A peanut butter and pickle casserole – I will never call “The Donald” president
  2. Stepping on a screw
  3. Gastric disturbance
  4. The fragrance of a garbage truck
  5. Cotton mouth – I will never call “The Donald” president.
  6. Extreme physical pain
  7. A root canal without Novacaine
  8. Cockroachs – I will never call “The Donald” president
  9. Stomach flu
  10. Food poisoning
  11. COVID – I will never call “The Donald” president
  12. Poison Oak and Poison Ivy
  13. Dog poop – I will never call “The Donald” president
  14. Toilet back-up
  15. A sewer back-up
  16. A rectal exam – I will never call “The Donald” president
  17. Sink holes
  18. Razor burn
  19. Rat infestation – I will never call “The Donald” president
  20. Nails on a chalkboard
  21. Cellulite
  22. Stubbing a toe on pointy heavy furniture – I will never call “The Donald” president
  23. Crepie skin
  24. Being mooned by a stranger, or anyone for that matter
  25. A flasher in the produce aisle of the grocery store – I will never call “The Donald” president
  26. A flat tire during a rain storm
  27. Losing water pressure while showering
  28. Black ice – I will never call “The Donald” president
  29. The stirrups, if you are female
  30. Turn your head and cough, if you are male
  31. A kick in the balls – I will never call “The Donald” president
  32. Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  33. Cleaning up hairballs from the sofa
  34. Spending the night in a haunted house – I will never call “The Donald” president
  35. A clogged drain
  36. Arriving at the water park to discover someone threw up in the pool
  37. Finding a dog accident the hard way – I will never call “The Donald” president
  38. A can of warm soda or beer
  39. Running out of toilet paper
  40. A dead battery in subzero temperatures – I will never call “The Donald” president
  41. A gas gauge on E when you are running late
  42. A sprained ankle
  43. My in-laws – I will never call “The Donald” president
  44. A traffic citation
  45. Finding a fly in your soup
  46. The laugh of a hyena – I will never call “The Donald” president
  47. Creepy clown with orange hair – oh wait, that IS “The Donald”…

The Melania Movie? No, Definitely No.

The Melania Movie? No, Definitely No.

The Melania Movie? No, Definitely, No.

Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch the Melania Movie

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. Get Disco Duck tattooed on my arm – no Melania movie for me…
  2. Hang upside down – no Melania movie for me…
  3. Kiss a rabid bat – no Melania movie for me…
  4. Scoop the litter box – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  5. Scrub the toilet – no Melania movie for me…
  6. Watch grass grow – no Melania movie for me…
  7. Watch paint dry – no Melania movie for me…
  8. Shave my legs with a dull razor – no Melania movie for me…
  9. Get a bikini wax – its less painful than Donnie Boys’ voice; Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  10. Eat haggis – no Melania movie for me…
  11. Get caught in the rain wearing my new suede coat and boots – no Melania movie for me…
  12. Enjoy a peanut butter and kale sandwich – no Melania movie for me…
  13. Fumigate – no Melania movie for me…
  14. Have blood drawn – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  15. Break my favorite vase – no Melania movie for me…
  16. Step on a Lego in stocking feet – no Melania movie for me…
  17. Walk over glass barefoot – no Melania movie for me…
  18. Clean the floor with my toothbrush – no Melania movie for me…
  19. Slip in a mud puddle wearing an all white outfit – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  20. Pay bills – no Melania movie for me…
  21. Drink warm Gatorade – no Melania movie for me…
  22. Muck the stall of a horse with diarrhea – no Melania movie for me…
  23. Eat a two month old tuna sandwich – no Melania movie for me…
  24. Change a tire in a snow storm – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  25. Have 25 mosquito bites – no Melania movie for me…
  26. Get a pelvic exam – no Melania movie for me…
  27. Wash my hair with Mr. Clean – no Melania movie for me…
  28. Listen to a grade school trumpet concert – at least the children are actually cute; no Melania movie for me…
  29. Clean out the garage – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  30. Shovel the driveway while it is still snowing – no Melania movie for me…
  31. Watch one of Ronald Reagan’s old movies – no Melania movie for me…
  32. Fall in a deep hole – no Melania movie for me…
  33. Swim in a pool with a floating swim diaper – no Melania movie for me…
  34. Brush my teeth with lye soap – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  35. Drink bleach – oh wait, the Trumpster suggested this to prevent COVID; no Melania movie for me…
  36. Pay tariffs – um well, we are doing this despite a Supreme Court order; no Melania movie for me…
  37. Buy a timeshare – no Melania movie for me…
  38. Break a heel off my most expensive pumps – no Melania movie for me…
  39. Take out the trash – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  40. Listen to Karaoke on dollar shots night – no Melania movie for me…
  41. Dump the contents of my purse in a mud puddle – no Melania movie for me…
  42. Get the heel of my shoe caught in a subway grate – no Melania movie for me…
  43. Have an impromptu Zoom meeting before my shower – no Melania movie for me…
  44. Get permanent marker off my wood desk – Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…
  45. Put a sweaty glass on my coffee table without a coaster – no Melania movie for me…
  46. Take a Lysol bubble bath – no Melania movie for me…
  47. Eat a GMO meal – no Melania movie for me…
  48. Watch a horror movie – oh wait, the State of the Union is horror-ific; no Melania movie for me…
  49. Listen to childish whining – oh wait, that is the same as watching anything MAGA; Melania is not first and certainly not a lady…

We considered canceling Prime Video when we got an email that it was being hosted on Prime…

Angry? Feeling Betrayed? Here’s Why

Angry? Feeling Betrayed? Here’s Why.

 

 

Angry? Feeling Betrayed? Here’s Why.

 

By D.S. Mitchell

 

So, I’ve been doing my own research and right now my blood pressure, despite medication, is at least 40 points above normal. Damn fucking serious, my doctor tells me. So while the doctor adjusts my medication based on the nightly news, I have put together a list of Trump’s most despicable actions. I can only imagine the number of outrages I don’t know about; those hidden behind the curtain, those hidden behind a wall of corruption.

1.) During Round One the Mango Menace tore up Obama’s Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA). Better known as the “Iran Nuclear Deal”. Why? Because Obama was connected to it. No other reason than a black man had been its guiding force. The agreement provided for inspections and prevented Iran from ever obtaining a nuclear weapon. Now in Round Two, Melon Head, under the spell of Israel’s Netanyahu and big Jewish donors in the U.S., launched major combat operations against Iran without formal, direct advance notification to Tehran. Trump’s War characterized by a surprise military campaign, aimed at destroying Iranian capabilities, rather than a declared, notified war. Now here we are;  and it looks like the Iranians are winning.

2. ) This one is a twofer for Trump. This is the second time he has withdrawn the U.S. from the Paris Climate Agreement, ending U.S. participation in global climate efforts. Trump’s fossil fuel donors are jubilantly jumping up and down, while the environmentalists cry. However, as oil prices skyrocket, Europeans are buying EV’s and talking wind and solar power and even nuclear. Hopefully, we in the U.S. will take up a similar cry.

3.) Fed chaos has caused market volatility while Trump’s shifting economic policies are  an economic disaster. Trump’s wildly gyrating tariffs based on nothing other than how he felt when he woke up. His tariffs are a tax on the U.S. consumer and those policies have triggered inflation and chaos; and now that the courts have ordered repayment of tariff charges to  many big companies. When asked about it, Trump suggested he would “remember” the guys that wanted their money back; like he’s some ‘effin mob boss. A really ugly look for the United States of America.

4.) Trump and his sometimes buddy Elon Musk dismantled USAID and other U.S. “soft diplomacy” efforts. The battle was loud as food and medicine rotted and expired in warehouses around the world waiting to be delivered to those desperately in need. An estimated 600,000 to 732,000 died, most were children and those deaths were directly related to the withdrawal of  USAID. Apparently, the number of those who died mattered little or nothing to Trump and his allies. My God, that’s like wiping out every man, woman, and child in Denver, Colorado; without a single tear shed.

5.) Trump revoked federal recognition of transgender Americans by executive order and federal agencies have rushed around carrying out Trump’s orders. The common goal of all his  orders is to remove transgender and nonbinary people from public life by restricting access to accurate federal identity documents, threatening to withhold hospitals’ federal funding over gender-affirming care, and erasing trans history from federal websites and in schools. The Trump White House is using the federal government as a cudgel to make it harder for trans Americans to live openly — without fear of harassment and discrimination.

6.)Trump egged on by drug intoxicated Elon Musk joyfully halted the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program completely. EXCEPT, as I understand it, “for select white South Africans.” This while Secretary Hegseth is firing black officers with decades of service without reason or explanation. Everything this administration does has an anti-melanin component to it; and they are making no effort to conceal their love of white.

7.) After Trump denied any knowledge or understanding of what Project 2025 was during his 2024 campaign he suddenly embraced the project after the election. Project 2025 is a plan to restructure the U.S. government in the image of  a Christian Nationalists homeland where we all follow their narrow religious beliefs. In the introduction to the document the authors call for “deleting” LGBTQ+ equality, reproductive freedom, and removal of diversity, equity and inclusion language and intent from “every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.”

Project 2025 plan is to:

  • Eliminate the Department of Education
  • Fund private religious schools with taxpayer money
  • Delete LGBTQ+ rights
  • End marriage equality
  • Limit reproductive health care and in the process ban the most accessible forms of abortion
  • Create obstacles for racial justice through gerrymandering and the resulting loss of voting rights
  • Using religious freedom to discriminate

8.) Trump ended the Energy Star appliance-efficiency program and any other credit or tax benefits derived by the purchase of energy efficient products including  EVs.  Oh, I keep forgetting, grandpa thinks “global warming is a hoax.”

9.) Trump’s “Big beautiful bill” cut a trillion dollars from United States health care expenditures. An estimated 12 million people will lose health care coverage. Children’s Medicaid, nutrition, and vaccine programs have been devastated.

10.) Trump in demented tweets has threatened to abandon NATO commitments if allies don’t increase their military spending; while walking away from Ukraine forcing NATO Europe to ramp up money and resources for the Ukrainian defense. His saber rattling and threats to take over NATO countries such as Greenland by force if necessary is causing a wide rupture between us and our long time friends.

11.) With the scribble of his sharpie Trump attempted to revoke birthright citizenship via executive order. The Supreme Court is reviewing numerous law suits regarding the constitutionality of such presidential action.

12.) The Trumpster has used the Alien Enemies Act to justify mass migrant detentions. The public is sick of warehousing human beings for the profit of Trump allies and community after community is fighting back and they are winning and ICE detention warehouses are being shut down across the country.

13.) Trump looked at a couple pictures and appointed unqualified loyalists to high-ranking posts. The Trump cabinet is the richest cabinet in U.S. history with little experience at public service.

14.) Proposed turning Gaza into the “Riviera of the Middle East”-resettling Gazans “some place-anyplace” without a view.

15.) Trump has pushed for mass surveillance expansion focusing on protestors and immigrants and then have used that information to deport students.

I had intended to list 47 abhorrent, disgusting, revolting things that Trump has done since being elected  for his second term, and truly I am so angry I don’t know if I can get to 47 with out  having an ‘effin stroke. Because right now, I’m guessing my blood pressure is somewhere close to 170/100! As far as finishing this article I don’t think it will be this week. Hugs. Love you. Keep protesting, keep resisting.

 

 

26 Things to Make You Smile

26 Things to Make You Smile

26 Things to Make You Smile

By D.S. Mitchell

I am back at the computer after taking a week off . Before I started this blog, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough to scream about, but I’m finding that I could probably do a dozen posts a day related to the insanity of Donald Trump. Like Megyn Kelly said recently, “send grandpa back to the nursing home.” But I thought, before I start my rant on the collapse of the progressive agenda and possibly our democracy, I wanted to deliver at least two or three posts that are positive and uplifting.

So, here are twenty-six things that make me smile and hopefully you, too:

1.) Touching toes in the sand
2.) Sunsets over shimmering water
3.) Wraparound sunglasses
4.) The Science channel
5.) Kite flying contests
6.) The Muppets
7.) Astronauts

8.) Blowing the wrapper off the straw
9.) Winning at Scrabble
10.) A dog’s cold nose on your hand
11.) Barhopping
12.)  Old jeans that fit just right
13.) A lover’s voice
14.) The clatter of skis being loaded
15.) The rumble of a train as it passes
16.) Walking in the rain
17.) The imagination of a six year old
18.) Margaritas at midnight

19.) Finishing the Sunday crossword without cheating
20.) Volunteering for a special cause
21.) The smell of a new car
22.) Roller skating, with helmet and knee pads, of course
23.) My first grade teacher, Miss Gill
24.) A good book
25.) Daddy’s wisdom

26.) The firing of AG Pam Bondi

I know this small Friday distraction did little to take your mind off the continuing chaos at the Trump White House, the Iran War, the price of gas and groceries, even attacks against the first American born pope; but hopefully it gave you a couple minutes respite; and that’s a good thing. Have a gem of a day.

No Kings. Stand up to the billionaires.