Category: Cate Rees-Hessel

A Few Things I Trust More Than Trump

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A Few Things I Trust More Than Trump

A Few Things I Trust More Than Trump

Editor: Thanks for the laughs

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. Dollar store teeth whiteners
  2. The rhythm method
  3. Any cosmetic made in China. That goes for dog food, too.
  4. Used car salesmen
  5. Diamonds from “we might be some jewelry sellers .com”
  6. Unsolicited telemarketers that call at dinnertime
  7. Eat whatever you want and lose weight diets
  8. Unfiltered tap water from Flint, Michigan
  9. Get rich quick schemes
  10. Televangelists, especially …
  11. Food with a 1998 expiration date
  12. “But I just want to cuddle”
  13. The odometer wasn’t set back
  14. It’s fifty percent off- Today Only
  15. It was only driven on Sundays to church by a sweet old lady and her cat
  16. Sushi from a fast food establishment
  17. Chicken salad from a gas station
  18. Giving a drunk the keys to the wine cellar
  19. A date with Bill Cosby
  20. Convenience store restrooms
  21. Tom Brady offering to help with a dead battery or flat tire
  22. A pet piranha or shark
  23. A North Korean peace plan
  24. Casey Anthony as a baby sitter
  25. Retreaded tires
  26. Day old unrefrigerated scrambled eggs
  27. Four for a one dollar deli sandwiches
  28. “No, that does not make your rear end look big”
  29. My ex-boyfriend
  30. My husband’s ex-girlfriend
  31. “Of course my boobs are real”
  32. A rabid bat
  33. An appliance bought on FB Marketplace
  34. A flight on “We Might Just Make it This Time” Airlines
  35. A drive-through root canal
  36. This shot might pinch just a little
  37. Anyone I don’t know messaging me about weather conditions because I have a beautiful smile
  38. You win a million dollars if you pay a small fee
  39. The check is in the mail (who even uses checks anymore?)
  40. The house comes with a brand new roof and furnace
  41. The United States healthcare system
  42. The prince formerly known as Andrew
  43. The seven “real” Rick Springfield’s and assorted Dolly Parton’s messaging me on X
  44. Only one treatment will remove 8 inches off your thighs for just $29.99
  45. Concierge at Trump hotels
  46. Brain surgery guided by AI
  47. “I will pay you back with interest”
  48. A social media scammer that just happened to come across my profile
  49. A 25 year old prophylactic
  50. Mail order from late night television little blue pills

Women of a Certain Age-“Old School” Edition

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Women of a Certain Age – “Old School” Edition

Women of a Certain Age – “Old School” Edition

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If your call math “arithmetic”, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you call mathematics new math…
  3. If you ever carried books in a strap…
  4. If your back to school wardrobe included Peter Pan collars and plaid…
  5. If sleepovers during the school year meant popcorn and a Frankie Avalon movie on network TV…
  6. If you had a Friday night party with a record player and bottles of Coke…
  7. If your birthday during the school year meant homemade cupcakes for the class…
  8. If you ever took a peanut butter fluff sandwich in your Scooby Doo lunch box…
  9. If you owned a Howdy Doody lunch pail…
  10. If you watched a happy tooth film strip…
  11. If you know what a film strip is…
  12. If you had a gym uniform that was a short jumpsuit in a shade of blue…
  13. If you wore white Keds with pom-pom socks (mine were pink)…
  14. If your cheerleading uniform didn’t expose your belly button…
  15. If Friday night football games were followed up at the malt shop…
  16. If you went on high school dates at the drive-in…
  17. If you know what activity was done in a rumble seat…
  18. If you participated in said activity in a rumble seat…
  19. If you participated in the same activity at the drive in…
  20. If you know what a rumble seat is…
  21. If you had a back-to-school Lilt perm, courtesy of your older sister or cousin…
  22. If you drove to school in a 1967 Mustang…
  23. If you know what a bobby soxer is…
  24. If you ever owned bobby socks…
  25. If you read Tiger Beat in the girls room at school…
  26. If students today read about your era in history books…
  27. If you carried mad money on dates during your high school or college years…
  28. If your sorority sisters wore pink foam rollers and half slips…
  29. If you ever wore pink foam rollers or half slips…
  30. If you know what a half slip is…

Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2026!

12 Days of Christmas Gone Rogue

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12 Days of Christmas-Gone Rogue

 

12 Days of Christmas-Gone Rogue

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

1. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree…

What a cute little birdie and I do love fruit… Apparently, my dear true love forgot I have a cat. That little bird sure can fly fast when being chased by a feline. I had a devil of a time getting him down from where he landed on the chandelier. Then the little dickens ate the biggest pear off the tree, the one I was saving to make a tart. I put the tree and its occupant on my patio. Perhaps a basket of fruit from Harry and David with a partridge figurine from Wayfair would have been a more appropriate present…

  1. On the second day of Christmas my love gave to me, two turtle doves…

It appears my love is quite the birds enthusiast, but these “peaceful” little creatures have a mean streak. They attacked the poor partridge when I placed them on the patio. The feathers are flying here today.  The veterinary bill is being sent to my darling gift giver. How can one re-gift feathered creatures?

  1. More foul – hens! Three of them, and not for Christmas dinner, either. Three French Hens, complete with a tariff bill I had to pay before they were shipped, arrived today. I don’t have a hen house, and my patio is getting crowded…
  2. The man with whom I share some affection sure is a bird lover. Today I received four squawking, er, I mean calling birds. These birds certainly need their own cell phones. My patio is beginning to look a lot like an aviary. Has this man not heard of Zales? My dear seems to forget I work from home…
  3. Finally, my true love sent jewelry – five lovely stackable gold rings. Maybe a diamond bracelet or earrings is in my future, in place of our winged friends…
  4. More feathered friends. Six geese-a-laying eggs all over my carpet. Perhaps my love is hinting he would like to come over for an omelet. I know eggs prices have soared, but this is a bit overkill…
  5. Enough with the birds already – my boyfriend sent seven more avians. Apparently my condo association has a rule about seven swans-a-swimming in the community jacuzzi. Who knew such a codicil existed? Perhaps my next gift will be a consultation with an attorney, and I will be seeking the services of a realtor in the new year. This has been a challenging week, thanks to my guy. I sincerely hope he doesn’t acquire a fondness for rodents…
  6. Well, at least no more birds. The gentlemen with whom a bit of affection is shared sent me eight maids carrying empty milk jugs, since I don’t have a cow. Perhaps tomorrow’s gift will involve bovine. I do love me some fat free milk but really, a grocery gift card would be much more appropriate here. These alleged maids did a terrible job with the kitchen and bathroom; they did nothing for my egg stained rug, either…
  7. Now there is a ballet going on in my living room. Nine ladies are dancing their hearts out here – I had to move the furniture out of the way. I am sending them and the maids to a motel for the night. My friend with benefits is getting an invoice for the Uber and accompanying accommodations…
  8. My friend without benefits has now sent ten lords-a-leaping. These men in tights already knocked over a table, broke a floor lamp, and scared my dog, who was already quite traumatized from all the birds and women that keep arriving. Another trip to the veterinary clinic…
  9. More noise in the form of eleven pipers piping in my dining room; my acquaintance really needs to choose gifts more wisely. Has this dude never heard of Sephora or Macy’s? I am amazed at what one can purchase on eBay or Amazon…
  10. Even more noise for my frenzy – a dozen drummers to give me a raging migraine. I flew the coup and filed a restraining order against lunatic “true love”.

 

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone – hope my gift of laughter made you smile this holiday season…

 

Giving Tuesday

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Giving Tuesday

Giving Tuesday can Stump Trump…

By Cate Rees-Hessel & Wes Hessel

 

Here are a list of Giving Tuesday ideas to support politically progressive, anti-Trump organizations. They have our support – please consider helping their tireless efforts. We must support the arts, theater, dance, music, museums, libraries, and the like. There are liberal religious organizations that can use funding, as well. The list below are a sampling of worthy organizations, but there are many more out there that need our help – please give what you can. Consider a donation to your local library or friends of the library, or local historical society.  Universities and colleges can certainly use financial assistance, even if they are not your alma mater. Many of these and other great organizations have matching funds for donations today:

 

  1. The ACLU: https://action.aclu.org/give/now
  2. PETA: https://www.peta.org/donate/ways-to-support-peta/
  3. Occupy Democrats: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/occupy-democrats-website
  4. Obama Foundation: https://www.obama.org/?form=W25XXWFEVR0
  5. The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/fundraise/
  6. The Lincoln Project: https://lincolnproject.us/donate/
  7. The Christian Left: https://www.thechristianleft.org/online-donation
  8. NAACP: https://naacp.org/donate
  9. Black Lives Matter/Southern Poverty Law Center: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/gpblm
  10. NOW: https://secure.now.org/a/gt2025?sourceid=1239805
  11. Kamala Harris/DNC: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/web-donate
  12. V-Day Movement: https://www.vday.org/take-action/donate-to-vday/
  13. Season of Concern: https://seasonofconcern.org/donate/
  14. The New York Public Library: https://www.nypl.org/give
  15. Daily Kos: https://www.dailykos.com/support-our-mission

REMEMBER: Any day is a good day to donate and or volunteer.

And, of course, you can buy our ever active advocate Calamity publisher a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/calamitypolitic. If you can’t contribute financially to a deserving organization, give your time as a volunteer…

Worst Black Friday & Cyber Monday Deals

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Worst Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals

Worst Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals

Well, it looks like there’s going to be a lot of Trump and GOP paraphernalia crowding retailer’s shelves across the country as the MAGA nightmare seems to be doing a nose dive with even the diehards like Marjorie Taylor Greene. Keep an eye open for any of these great deals coming your way Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I guarantee there will be orange everywhere.

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. Trumpopoly – be the first to go bankrupt and steal from the community chest; all the cards you draw are “Get Out of Jail Free.”
  2. Mar-a-Lago tree ornament, its orange with an iconic mushroom shape.
  3. Trump lollipops – or should I say suckers, burnt orange flavor.
  4. Elon Musk Ken doll, watch out for the chainsaw.
  5. JD Vance Alan doll, oh my, Erika Kirk may want to pick up a couple of these bad boys.
  6. Melania doll – comes with a mini Hustler magazine and accompanying plastic surgeon doll.
  7. “I Beg your Pardon, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” dance mix, sung by “The Donald” himself, on DVD.
  8. Tesla wind chimes made from recycled Tesla parts.
  9. MAGA cap, scarf, and glove set.
  10. Trump toupe – you, too, can be an orange haired monster.
  11. The pet rock returns – ICE are using the little creatures to break car windows.
  12. Trumpmania game I hear they’ll be going 10 for a dollar.
  13. “My Ding A Ling” (is now president) party dance show mix “…I want you to play with my ding-a-ling…”
  14. Tesla ride-on scooter.
  15. “The Donald” shit show shower head.
  16. Donald Diapers – he’s a big boy now.
  17. Worst Little Whorehouse in Washington DVD with special guest appearances by various friends and lovers.
  18. A giant tub of Republican mixed nuts.
  19. The barrel of monkeys from the 1960’s has been reinvented – a Barrel of MAGA’s.
  20. Another retro game, “Blockhead!” is back.
  21. Big Mac toaster oven, just like the one at the White House.
  22. Trump golf clubs with knitted orange head covers.
  23. Melania fashion and decorating tips for the “Karen” coffee table book.
  24. Melania charm school gift certificate.
  25. Orange haired big gut balloon bouquet.

What I am Thankful for this Thanksgiving

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What I am Thankful for This Thanksgiving

What I am Thankful for This Thanksgiving

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Our nation is in crisis, but I am still thankful to God for the following this day:

 

  1. My loved ones: spouse, family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and furbabies.
  2. I am thankful for all the progressives at every level fighting against the dictator who thinks he is a king.
  3. I am thankful for the fact I never voted for him – I couldn’t live with that on my conscience.
  4. I am thankful for the arts in every form.
  5. I am thankful for children’s laughter – may we protect these innocent ones from harm.
  6. I am thankful that LBGTQ rights are still protected for now, because I love people in that community, including family and close friends.
  7. I am thankful our right to free speech is still present and we can speak our mind for now.
  8. I am thankful for the opportunity to make people laugh.
  9. I am thankful that the government shutdown is over and people can buy food to fill Thanksgiving tables, but my heart breaks that healthcare premiums will pay the price.
  10. I am thankful we can still worship in the faith we desire, and pray that God’s truth may finally break through the racist hate that is not what Christianity should stand for.
  11. I am thankful for freedom – the freedom our military has fought for and protects.
  12. I am thankful for a democracy – may our nation never be robbed of this.
  13. I am thankful for the 25th Amendment – may it be put to good use very soon.
  14. I am thankful for the right to vote – may we use this wisely.
  15. I am thankful for the power of the press, and may I never abuse that privilege.
  16. I am thankful for the power of words that we must use wisely.
  17. I am thankful for all those standing against ICE – just like the first Thanksgiving when native Americans and pilgrims shared a meal together in peace.
  18. I am thankful pumpkin spice season is nearly over.
  19. I am thankful to not have to eat turkey spam from a can.
  20. I am thankful for each of you reading this.

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Chilling ICE Sightings

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More Chilling ICE Sightings

That Leave Us Cold and Frozen in Fear

More Chilling ICE Sightings

That Leave Us Cold and Frozen in Fear

 

ICE Reporting Guidelines:

ICE Sightings: When reporting ICE sightings, REMEMBER S.A.L.U.T.Ε. Provide as much information as possible when reporting threats to our communities:

S as in Size/ Strength How many agents? How many vehicles? WRITE DOWN LICENSE PLATES

A as in Activity What you are seeing. Raid at a workplace, traffic stop? Is violence involved?

L as in Location What is the precise address? Intersections? Nearby landmarks?

U as in Uniform/Clothing What are they wearing? Do they have masks, vests, or badges?

T as in Time and Date Precise time and date of the sighting.

E as in Equipment/Weapons What equipment/weapons? Are they using them?

** Remember keep your whistle close and your cell phone camera ready. We need to draw attention to these masked  thugs and the more pictures and stories the better.

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel with Wes Hessel

 

Below is a list of ICE sightings and stories regarding these occurrences in the Chicago area. This is our second report on ICE activities in the Chicago and surrounding communities for Calamity Politics. Instead of showing any interest in the running of our government, slowing inflation, protecting health care for American citizens, or ensuring that American children have enough food to eat, Trump is busy sending out ICE to arrest fast food workers, gardeners, maids, and wait staff. Most all are hard workers just trying to feed their families, not criminals, in fact, as it turns out, many arrested and hauled off by ICE are US citizens, or legal residents and green card holders. The billions of dollars wasted on this pathetic show of deportation raids and videos of Kristi Noem riding horses and playing Secretary of Homeland Security is disgusting. Remember, one in five children in America goes to bed hungry. It’s sad that Trump is more interested in gold toilets and distracting from the Epstein scandal than doing even the most basic work of a United States president.

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Women of a Certain Age-Thanksgiving Edition

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Women of a Certain Age Thanksgiving Edition

Women of a Certain Age-Thanksgiving Edition

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you still the baste the turkey with butter, you might just be a woman of a certain age…
  2. If you make dressing stuffed inside the bird without fear of salmonella, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  3. If you call it pumpkin pie seasoning, not pumpkin spice, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  4. If you don’t understand why there is a pumpkin spice latte, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  5. If you wear a ruffled apron to take the turkey out of the oven, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  6. If you make your own green bean casserole, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  7. If you don’t understand why an already deceased cooked turkey needs to rest, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  8. If you have no idea what the hell a tofurky is, nor do you want to, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  9. If you start stocking up on canned pumpkin beginning November 1st, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  10. If you make mashed potatoes from scratch, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  11. If you know a way to slice cranberry sauce to camouflage the can indentations, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  12. If you recall the first Butterball turkey talk line, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  13. If you remember the first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, well, your certainly of a very certain age – happy 100th birthday to that iconic celebration…
  14. If your Thanksgiving table has polished silver, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  15. If your Thanksgiving table has starched and ironed linens, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  16. If your Thanksgiving table has fine bone china and crystal stemware, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  17. If your Thanksgiving table includes refrigerated crescent rolls from a poppable can, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  18. If you join the men watching football only after the dishes are washed, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  19. If you make stuffing by cutting up four loaves of bread a couple days before the holiday and then let them get stale, you might be a woman of a certain age…
  20. If you have no idea what umami is and don’t want it on your Thanksgiving table, you might be a woman of a certain age…

The Ice-Men Cometh…

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The ICE-Men Cometh…

The ICE-Men Cometh…

Editor: The activities of ICE agents in the Chicago area is disturbing, just as it is across the country. Cate’s article highlights what’s happening in Illinois and how to respond. Take a look, the ICE-Men Cometh…

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Reporting Guidelines

ICE Sightings: When reporting ICE sightings, REMEMBER S.A.L.U.T.Ε. Provide as much information as possible when reporting threats to our communities:

S as in Size/ Strength How many agents? How many vehicles? WRITE DOWN LICENSE PLATES

A as in Activity What you are seeing. Raid at a workplace, traffic stop? Is violence involved?

L as in Location What is the precise address? Intersections? Nearby landmarks?

U as in Uniform/Clothing What are they wearing? Do they have masks, vests, or badges?

T as in Time and Date Precise time and date of the sighting.

E as in Equipment/Weapons What equipment/weapons? Are they using them?

Continue reading

Trump’s Travesties

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Trump’s Travesties

Trump’s Travesties

By Cate Rees-Hessel with D.S. Mitchell

Since taking office less than a year ago, “The Donald” has made quite the mess of our nation…. again. I feel like sending him right along with his policies to the nearest dump site. Here are just a few of his deliberate faux pas:

  1. The Epstein cover up – resist! Too many “secrets,” that Donnie wants hidden.
  2. Tariffs – he needs to be impeached now…take back the House & take back the Senate!
  3. Racist ICE raids – resist! Take off the masks!
  4. Said the day after the Perry High school shootings, “We have to get over it” – he needs to be impeached now…he’ll “get over it”!
  5. Said at the Bedminster Gala that smart people don’t like him; stop the presses – he finally said something truthful…resist! That’s because smart people see past culture wars and listen to policy.
  6. Seeking to silence the progressive left regarding the shooting death of Charlie Kirk – he needs to be impeached now…well, of course he needs to be impeached.
  7. Cozying up to Elon Musk – resist! Such a short and damaging love affair for our country.
  8. Denying climate change – he needs to be impeached now…I guess we’re gonna find out just how hot it can get. *Iran July 2025; 127 degrees F.
  9. Cozying up to the gun lobby – resist! As of 9/25/25 there have been 317 mass shootings in the US-!
  10. Project 2025 – he needs to be impeached now…right along with this corrupt and rogue Supreme Court.
  11. Claiming he is king – resist! No crowns for clowns is my motto.
  12. Denying COVID-19’s severity, restricting vaccines, and inciting the anti-vax fringe – he needs to be impeached now…and Bobby Jr. and allies should be sent off planet.
  13. Attacking Social Security – resist! Social Security has been paying Americans faithfully for 90 years I’d say it should be strengthened not ‘effed up.
  14. Attacking SNAP so children go hungry – he needs to be impeached now…SNAP helps the farmer as well as the hungry. 60% of Americans are barely scraping by; protect SNAP.
  15. Tax breaks for billionaires – resist! Spreading the wealth makes for healthier and happier citizens.
  16. Brown nosing other dictators – he needs to be impeached now…and the ass-kissing goes on…and on….and on.
  17. His undermining the post office causing major mail delivery problems, which is occurring because of his first term installation of Louis DeJoy – resist! They’re getting ready to auction off our constitutionally guaranteed post office to buyers like Fed-Ex and UPS-resist.
  18. His constant attacks on freedom of the press – he needs to be impeached now…Americans are about to lose their freedom of speech, we’ll all be listening to one channel, no need for the remote control.
  19. Just being a multiple convicted felon – resist! When you’ve got the thugs in charge, expect to find a lot of dead bodies and jailed enemies.
  20. He incited the January 6th 2021 insurrection – he needs to be impeached now…and now he’s pardoned his co-conspirators.
  21. He threatened officials to rig the 2020 election and his victory in 2024 is in severe question – resist! This is a story hiding in plain sight, we should be saying, “Madam President.”
  22. Being an accused and convicted rapist – he needs to be impeached now…I certainly think we need  better, but when are we going to demand better?
  23. Calling President Biden and VP Harris vicious names and lies – resist! Small minds produce a lot of four letter words.
  24. Trying to force out of office a federal reserve governor that he does not like – he needs to be impeached now…he seems to enjoy accusing people of crimes he has committed, in this case mortgage fraud.
  25. Threatening our democracy and anyone that disagrees with him-resist! Ask Miles Taylor, Chris Krebs, James Comey, or how about Rosie O’Donnell how it feels when the president starts publicly accusing you of wrongdoing and threatens Justice Department charges.

Mark 10/18/2025 on your Protest Calendar and hit the streets and tell Trump we’ll have ‘No Kings Here.’